We're well into the second part of the story now, but bear with, because I promise this is a Clarke x Lexa fic. To any one doubting that, let's just say it may be a rocky climb to forgiveness but nothing will beat the view.

"Lonely, oh, no not me
I have a grave to dig, fast moving feet.
You gave me light
Where it once was gone.

I made a bed,
Where you don't belong."

Esmerelda - Ben Howard

Everything was a blur for Lexa as she led her warriors to TonDC on the finest horses Polis could spare. The trees of her lands flew past her in streaks of greens and browns and they stopped only when the horses slowed at the end of each day. Lexa avoided the village this time, instead camping by the rivers and in the caves that the forests offered her. It allowed them to take a more direct route, and Lexa, thinking logically as per usual, opted to forgo the comforts that her rank would allow and chose to cover more ground each day. Her people deserved peace, she told herself. The Sky People would see sense. She needed to get back to TonDC.

With the exception of some clipped commands, their journey was quiet, as was Lexa's preferred way. She never had liked pointless conversation, generally words for the sake of words was pointless – especially when a dagger would do the job just as well. Despite this, the Commander allowed Indra – who was still not forgiven – to explain everything she had missed, listening quietly in her normal stoic way as her warrior spoke. The woman described how there had been a month of peace, where the Sky People had barely left the gates of their camp and kept to their own business, which had slowly given way to armed scouts hovering on the borders of Ton DC.

"They're finding out what is going on in the village," said Indra, climbing off of her horse as they came to a stop for the final night of their journey. They were less than a day away from TonDC and Lexa was restless. The girl nodded her head, she too would send scouts if she was about to invade. In fact, that is what she had done on the camp herself, the Skaikru had probably learnt it from them.

"Are the warriors prepared for war?" asked the Commander, smoothing her horse's mane with the knuckles of her gloved hand.

"They always are," replied Indra, dismissing the warriors around them with a pointed glance. They led their horses to a nearby river, leaving Indra to speak to her Commander alone. "You will need a new weapon," she observed, nodding knowingly at the sword which hung at the girl's hip.

Lexa pulled the sword from its sheath and balanced it in her hands. "You've betrayed me twice now, Indra," she said bluntly, watching the blade glint in the light of the sun. It was blinding. "You released Lincoln, which I could overlook. But a dagger to your Commander's throat?" Lexa ran her finger along the edge of the blade, judging its sharpness. "That's a bit harder to overlook."

"You would have killed me by now."

To that, Lexa nodded and sheathed her sword in one swift motion. She looked at Indra with narrowed eyes. "Let us hope that I need not draw that sword any time soon, or else I will need a new weapon."

That which Lexa didn't say, Indra could read in her eyes. It was a cold look they shared, filled with warning. It said that Lexa had authority, and Indra was extremely close to seeing how far the limits of the Commander could be pushed. The woman bowed her head and reached for the reins of her horse.

"And Indra…" said Lexa as the woman began to walk her horse away. "I trust you and I always have."

"And I you, Heda."

"Then you better start showing it," ended Lexa, dismissing Indra and turning to her horse. She wasn't short, but the horse towered over her, and as Lexa stroked the charcoal coat she found herself feeling small.

Grounders considered their people adults at sixteen, and Lexa, fast-tracked to warrior status when the previous Commander's spirit had chosen her, had long since passed that age – not that age actually mattered. Still, Lexa felt young, and thinking forward to the potential of a battle so soon after she had made such a difficult decision at Mount Weather, felt as if everything she had trained for wouldn't be enough. During her two months away, she had been somewhat happy, lost in the distractions she had busied herself with. But Polis had been ripped away from her like the removal of an arrowhead from the body, and the floating dream she had lived was fast fading to the beginning of a nightmare.

Somehow, ever since the Sky People had fallen from the sky, everything had become so complicated. Sure, the Mountain Men had been an issue – a big issue – but eventually it would have come down to a battle and Lexa strived in battle. Now, the battles were mixed with deals and mind games when all Lexa wanted to do was swing a sword.

Lexa sighed. 'You can't kill everyone you don't trust,' Clarke had said, and now the Commander wondered if that was why she had allowed Indra to live – some echo of pleading words she hadn't been able to shake from her head. Clarke was wrong, love was weakness. It made you think, and it made you hope and it made you trust. Lexa laughed bitterly to herself, if Clarke had not been so blinded then she would have been prepared to be abandoned at Mount Weather, but the laughter was short-lived and made Lexa feel ashamed. She had exploited the Sky People, and lost the closest thing she'd found to love in a very long time by doing so. If Clarke had loved her, she never would now. Lexa did not sleep very well that night.

The warriors woke up to the grey skies of the next morning, but set off immediately for Ton DC. The last stretch of the journey took only five hours by horse, but even the best warriors were tired with the endless travelling. It made the hours drag, which in turn gave more time for the suspense to build and build it did. As they thundered through the forests, each with focused faces and cautious eyes, they sat increasingly upright on their horses. Determination escorted them through the last hour approaching the village, and upon arriving at the signs marking the boundaries of TonDC, Lexa didn't bother hiding her sigh of relief. If the Skaikru had attacked them then, there would be no forgiveness whatsoever.

TonDC was alive with the same buzz of energy it had been whilst preparing to take Mount Weather, but the people were calm and not frantic.

"They think you are here for the harvest, Heda. I ordered the warrior to keep the Skaikru's actions a secret before I left," Indra explained. Lexa nodded. That was good, panic was not.

The horses moved slowly through the village, and the Commander smiled warmly at the children who waved as they rode past, but the second Lexa walked out of the public eye and into the privacy of her re-erected tent the smile was replaced by a calculating frown. The generals of the village had put the table back, the maps of the forests laid out grandly upon them. It was almost the same as before, when she had kissed Clarke.

The frown settled deeper onto her face. A war with the Skaikru was by no means desirable, but Lexa's armies had prepared well for it before. Now, the orders would be accompanied with the additional weight of knowing names and knowing faces. Even if Clarke didn't fight, Lexa would still hear the same 'what have you done'. With that said, if Clarke did lead the battle - which, Lexa thought, would be understandable – then the Commander would probably be the one to look with horrified eyes at the bloodshed of war. In spite of everything, Clarke had made the Commander weak, and now Lexa was being rightfully punished for it.

Her Generals met with her the very same evening with blank faces and blunt words. Despite the might of the Trigedakru, one of the strongest armies in the 12 nations, none of them wanted to fight. For many of the villages, those who had just been returned were still recovering from the crimes of the Mountain Men, and their families who had welcomed them back were in no mood to go back to war. The Sky People's sacrifice had been noted, and any girl powerful to take down the men who had shadowed fear over the villages for so long was not a girl to fight. Clarke, Lexa realised as the Generals described their experiences whilst she had been in Polis, had won the respect of her people. It was a pity that had to be in such a torturous way.

"Then we will not be the ones to declare war," stated Lexa, looking around at the gathered Generals. She was in her tent, hands gripping the arms of the throne she was sat in tightly. The Generals nodded their heads. "But tell your warriors to be ready," she commanded. "War is something we must be prepared for. Leave now."

Her Generals filed out of the tent and went to prepare their warriors.

"Indra."

"Yes, Heda?" said the woman, turning around before she left. Lexa hadn't moved from her throne.

"Order me a new sword."

Indra bowed her head with understanding and left the tent. Lexa was alone again with the expanse of the night stretching out before her. With a deep sigh, she got ready for bed.

It was dark when Lexa woke up the next morning, not that she had really slept very much. She had spent most of the night listening to the hum of a celebrating village, and armed with the 'I've spent the last five days travelling' she had allowed herself to stay in her tent. Really, she should have been there for the harvest festival that honoured the Earth for its produce and the sky for its rainfall, but she had stayed in her tent and chased sleep instead. She had thought of the sky though, and the clouds, but she had not been thanking the rain which fell from them.

She threw off the furs covering her body violently and stood up angrily. She kicked and punched at the bed's wooden frame, and flung the furs across the room, watching them fall onto the table where the maps were. They knocked over a jug of water that she kept there which fell to the floor, and Lexa, breathing heavily, strode over and threw that at the wall of the tent. She was fuming, she was tired, she was annoyed, she was anxious, and she was young. And she was alone. So, so alone.

The girl collapsed to the floor in a seething mess, rubbing roughly at the tears on her face. If the guards outside her tent had heard any of it, they didn't act to do anything about it. An hour later and Lexa had hardly moved. She was leant with her spine against the leg of the table, the muscles in her arms aching, her back throbbing, when Indra walked in. The woman took in the mess, the destroyed maps and the destroyed girl glaring up at her with cold eyes, and offered the Commander a hand up. Reluctantly, Lexa accepted it and brushed off her clothes.

Indra restored the tent as the girl regained herself.

"I do not need you judgement, Indra," said the Commander.

"There is nothing to judge Heda," replied the woman, shrugging indifferently. "It is too early to hunt beasts."

Lexa looked up and saw the understanding in the older woman's gaze, but looked away just as quickly. "If it is so early, then why are you here?"

Indra sighed and pulled a piece of paper from beneath the armour she wore. "The Watch found this in the forests, pinned to a tree with one of our spears," she said, passing it to her Commander.

Lexa unfolded the paper. "What is it?" she asked.

"I believe it is a message from the Skaikru. I'm unsure what it reads."

The Commander sighed, cursing the Sky People and their complications. Bracing herself she turned to Indra. "Search the village for anyone who can tell me what the message says," she ordered.

"Yes Heda" replied the woman.

"And then," continued the Commander, "search the forest for their scouts. If they came by foot they will not be back to their camp yet. I want them captured alive."