Thank you to everybody who is still reading this, y'all are baes. This is more like a part two to chapter 8. And I am far too hungover to reread this too many times so sorry for the errors. On the other hand, search the song up on youtube because it's beautiful and so fitting to Clarke in general #feels. Update on Wednesday
"My heart's not the issue, it's my head that's a mess
I gave the world my everything and got back a lot less
I know that I'm not living I'm only alive
I may still be breathing but a part of me has died"
Lost - Wayward Daughter
Full moon the paper had said. In a matter of nights the Sky People were going to charge TonDC and the Commander would not have enough time to call on her alliances and form a defence big enough to withhold the fire of the guns – it was a new war they fought and the Sky People were fast, she could give them that. The Commander was in a very tricky situation.
She would have to call on her warriors to fight, that was unavoidable, but pacing the length of the village gates Lexa could only furrow her brow and search the forest before her for any sign of movement.
It was midday now, and the sun was shining down on the rebuilt village with a mocking smile. She had spent the beginning months of spring in Polis, and though the winter had been mild, Lexa knew summer would not be so kind. She could see it in the flowers – fully blossomed – and the fruits of the trees. The air was already heavy with humidity, and looking around she could see that her warriors were coated in a layer of sweat. Summer, when it came, would be almost unbearable.
Lexa's head snapped up as a shout came through the trees of the forest surrounding the village. Sure enough, there were her warriors leading two Skaikru who were bound by the wrists. She nodded at Indra who was stood at her side – it was Clarke's mother and one of her guards being marched towards her. If things had been complicated before, they were really complicated now.
The village watched as her warriors approached the gates. The Commander had tried to keep the prospect of war as quiet as possible, but the appearance of the written declaration made it ridiculously obvious that she wasn't there for the Harvest. She eyed the Skaikru as they staggered towards her.
"So you're the girl who has been giving my daughter nightmares," spat Abby as she was pulled to a harsh stop before the Commander.
"You've heard from Clarke?" asked Lexa. She should have retaliated, established her authority over the captured Skaikru immediately, but she hadn't been able to stop the question from falling out of her mouth.
The woman shook her head, staring at Lexa with the same cold stare that Clarke had. "I don't need to, I just know my daughter."
Lexa raised her chin and looked at the warrior still holding the chains by which Abby and her guards were held. "Take them to the cell and fetch her a healer" she commanded, seeing the blood from a head wound trail down the woman's face.
"Holding us hostage won't stop them from charging," hissed Abby, eyes blazing with an anger which made her look younger than her age. "And killing me will only make them strike harder."
"I know" replied the Commander, drawing herself to her full height to stare the woman down. "That's why you're still alive" and without another word, she turned on her heels and walked back to her tent.
An hour later and she was descending the steps down to the holding cell where Abby and her guard were waiting for her. Normally, Lexa was content to keep her prisoners waiting, but the full moon was nights away and she didn't have the time. Once again she found herself cursing the Skaikru and their complications.
"Let him go," said Lexa to the warrior at her side. "Make sure he goes directly to his camp and then return here."
"Yes Heda" said the warrior. Lexa stood back as he followed her orders. "Go with him," she commanded the only remaining warrior, who narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Go!" she repeated, and then she was left alone in the cell with Abby.
The woman was sat with her back against the tiles of the wall, both her ankles and her wrists bound by strong chains that prevented her from moving very far. She looked up at the Commander with a scolding glare.
"You have not heard from Clarke?" asked the Commander.
"You know that I haven't," replied Abby angrily. "And you have no place asking after my daughter."
Lexa eyed the woman coolly. "Need I remind you who is in chains here?"
"You got what you wanted when you got your people back."
"I do not need to defend my actions to you. You may be Chancellor, but you do not deserve my explanation."
"Did Clarke not appreciate your explanation?" snapped the woman. "You've seen her. That's why you're in here"
The Commander clenched her jaw.
"Clarke is smart enough not to make the same mistake twice, she'll forgive us for seeking war, even if she cannot fully support it."
The Commander pulled the dagger from her belt and crossed the space of the cell in a matter of seconds, pressing the blade against the woman's throat and forcing her chin upwards. In her eyes, Abby could see storms.
"I am assuming you are familiar with pain," growled the Commander.
Abby's angry glare didn't waver. She narrowed her eyes. "You don't scare me."
Lexa's eyes flashed and she bared her teeth in a silent snarl, but she stepped away from the woman. She thought to Clarke calling her a coward – killing an unarmed chained prisoner was no way of the Commander. "My people aren't monsters. In this war you seek we will only fight when you attack us – but when we defend," she warned, "we will show no mercy."
Abby shook her head defiantly. "We would never ask you to."
The Commander nodded her head at the woman and walked out of the cell. Behind her she could hear the door being shut and locked by one of her warriors but she didn't turn – instead she walked to the war tent. She'd spent far too much time there recently.
Inside, Indra and the other Generals were gathered around the map table. They looked up as their Heda stalked in and sat on her throne.
"She told you nothing" stated Indra, regarding Lexa's stony face.
"Glad to see nothing gets by you, Indra" replied the Commander. The Generals in the tent shared knowing glances and left immediately. "This war will not be easily fought" mused Lexa.
"We will do what we need to do to protect our people, Heda, that's the oath we swore as warriors. Commanding death is no easy task."
The Commander sighed, eying Indra suspiciously. The woman was one of the few people whose opinion Lexa could value. "How is the village doing, Indra?"
"It is fine. Lincoln's absence has left its mark though," the woman admitted. Lexa nodded – she knew not everyone agreed with the exile of traitors, even if they did respect it.
"Let her go, Lexa!" demanded a voice. Both warriors looked up to see Clarke burst into the tent.
Lexa lost her breath, but her face stayed blank. Clarke's hair was longer, and she stood strong and angry – two months in the forest had made her even tougher.
"Clarke," whispered Lexa, standing. Indra stood silently in between them.
"I head back to my people and see our guard and your warrior only to find out you've got my only surviving family member locked up" growled Clarke through clenched teeth. "Let. Her. Go,"
"She is in no harm," replied Lexa, struggling to maintain her calm exterior. The Sky Princess' appearance served only to remind her how much she had already lost.
"Lexa, please!"
The Commander's eyes widened at Clarke's pleading, but she remained stoic and neutral as she replied. "Your mother will only die anyway in the war your people have declared."
Clarke's jaw tightened and it made Lexa drop her gaze in shame. "Then let me have the last days with her-" the blond requested, causing the Commander to look up once again at the collectedness of the words, "-before you kill us all."
"Things could have been different," said Lexa quietly.
"They still can be," replied Clarke with a gentleness that caused Lexa's heart to clench uncomfortably within her chest. The air between them softened – Clarke's words had been a promise.
"I hope so," Lexa admitted, then pulled her face into her stern mask as she looked at Indra. "Release the prisoner" she ordered.
Indra nodded and walked out of the tent.
"Thank you" said Clarke, so quietly that Lexa almost didn't catch it.
She offered Clarke a small smile which fell as quickly as it graced her lips. She shook her head sadly. "It is the least I could do, Clarke."
The blonde nodded, and left the tent to follow Indra. Alone again, Lexa sunk back into her throne and rested her head against its back.
Complicated indeed.