Edited as of June 22, 2013.

"You know, James, things aren't as bad as you think they are."

He rounds on me, face full of anger and despair. "My best friend, the one who I thought I knew better than anybody else in the world, played the fucking cruelest joke that could possibly be thought of!"

"You seem to have a flair for the dramatic. It's not as though you adore Snape."

"We're supposedly better than Snape," James bites out through clenched teeth, "and how can that be true after what he's done?!"

"He was probably drunk when he thought of it," I roll my eyes, "and Sirius is just the type of person to go through with something like that."

"Why are you defending him?" James roars. "Trying to kill someone – even someone who is our worst enemy – it's something to be taken lightly!"

"Are you going to throw away 5 years of the best friendship in Hogwarts just because of a stupid joke?" I ask calmly.

James turns away to face the window, fingers clutching the windowsill so hard they turn white.

"I don't know how I can forgive something like that. And the worst thing is, Moony," he mutters next, almost ruefully, glancing at me, "is that I had to save Snape's stupid arse."

"And why are you so calm?" James demands next. "You almost . . ." He trails off and shakes his head, unable to continue.

I clench my jaw tightly together. "Don't you think that's exactly what I've been trying not to think about for the past 48 hours?" I hiss, any pretense of calm vanished. "Sometimes I really wonder where your sensitivity is, James. You know – know perfectly well – that that's a sore subject for me."

He looks at me with a sorry look on his face. "Moony, I'm sorry – I wasn't thinking -"

"Damn right you weren't," I hiss, and walk away, back towards the dormitories.

It was supposed to be an unmentionable subject.

The next day, Moony's sitting with Lily at breakfast when I come down. I am sorely tempted to join them, but one look at my friend's mutinous face and at Lily's disappointed one, and I veer off to sit with my Quidditch teammates.

That's before I realize that Sirius is sitting right there.

We make eye contact, but I turn away before he can say anything. I resign myself to dropping down across from Lily and Remus.

"Do you really think you ought to be here right now, James?" Lily asks as I fork eggs onto my plate.

"It was a choice between Moony and Sirius." I grit my teeth. "Who do you think I chose?"

"You could just, I don't know, sit by yourself?" Remus's tone is scathing.

I look up at him. "And feel the wrath from you and the questioning looks from the rest of the student body? Nah, mate, there's no way I'm up for that."

"I don't know how you can brush things off so easily," Remus hisses.

"You can hold a grudge, Moony," I shrug. "I'm not good at stuff like that."

A moment too late I realize the impact Moony's words were supposed to have on me.

"Merlin, sorry, Moony-"

"You know, sometimes I don't even know why I try with you," are Remus's next words. He gets up and stalks off.

Lily looks at me. "If I were you, I'd go after him," she says. And, true to her word, eternally-kind Lily jumps off and runs after him, leaving her breakfast.

I sigh. Eternally-kind Lily is, after all, smart with stuff like this. So I follow her advice and walk out of the Great Hall, not forgetting to Summon a few egg sandwiches to pacify Moony and to satisfy my (and undoubtedly Lily's) growling stomachs.

I glance around to make sure no one is in the corridor and take out the Marauder's Map. Seeing the grimy fingerprints my buttery hands leave, I make a mental note to ask Moony how to do that nifty Cleaning Charm he does (if he ever forgives me).

I find Remus and Lily in the Charms corridor, true to the map's direction. They sit against the wall, holding a quiet conversation with heads together.

I ignore the tiny stab of jealousy and stop above them. Remus doesn't look up, but Lily gives me a short smile, which I return.

Unsure of where to start, I think maybe the sandwiches will help.

"I brought food," I say and hold out two egg sandwiches for them to take.

They both take one, Lily with a grateful smile and Remus with a sullen frown. (You know, it's really teenage girly to refuse the offer of food, even when you're in an argument with the person offering said food. And Remus is far too sensible not to acknowledge the fact that if he doesn't eat it, he'll be hungry during Charms.)

I munch on the third one as I drop down beside Lily, thinking it would probably be better to keep some space between me and Remus (Remus and I, for you grammar Ravenclaw people) for now. (True, he's only resorted to violence once, but who knows?)

"Look, James," Moony says, "it's really petty of me to get mad at you over . . . what I did get mad at you at."

"Hey, man, it was supposed to be an unmentionable subject."

Moony cracks a smile. "That's exactly what I thought last night."

I wave a hand. "We know each other too well not to think the same thing. I just take a little longer to catch on."

"Wouldn't it be the same with Sirius, then?"

It's my turn to stare off into the distance moodily.

"It's not the same," I whine. "What Sirius did . . . that was just plain cruel."

A few seconds later: "I may forgive him . . ."

"That's my boy," Lily teases, and beams.

"In 500 years," I finish.