AN: Hello! There aren't any GOOD reasons for why it has been so long since I wrote for this story, just a bunch of mediocre ones, so I will just apologize profusely and get on with it if you don't mind. I hope you are all still interested in reading this…
Feel free to write me angry comments on why I am a terrible person for leaving you high and dry, and just leave a review of the chapter while you are down there, ok? Great!
Thanks to all of the people who have already reviewed, favorited, or followed this story. You are wonderful!
Clara pressed enter on the keyboard, and four of the colorful bubbles descended from the glowing, pulsing cloud to hover in a circle around her and the TARDIS child. For the first time, she noticed that the orbs came in a variety of sizes – one of them was approximately the size of her entire torso, while the one next to it was no bigger than her fist.
"So that was a keyword search, yeah?" Clara asked. The TARDIS shrugged, "You tell me, it's your head!"
"Fair enough. Anyway, that means I should be able to sort the results." The orbs shifted, forming a line beside her. She smiled "Here we go! Chronologically!" The smallest of the orbs was first, shimmering brightly with the light of the memory it contained. Clara reached out to grab it out of the air, but found that she couldn't move it once she had it. Instead it hummed and moved, pressing and rubbing against her hand. It almost reminded her of a cat! She jumped back, "What the hell is it doing?"
TARDIS girl laughed again with the sound of an engine, "I guess memories like to be revisited. You're the one whose subconscious turned its reaction into purring!"
"But that's just weird! It's a memory, it shouldn't purr! Why would I do that?"
"You are a little strange in the head, and apparently at odds with your subconscious?"
"Hey! Am not!" Clara snapped, a little miffed.
"You're the one who was just freaked out by your own mental image…" The TARDIS sniffed, and started examining her fingernails with aloof boredom, "So are we going to see these memories or what?"
Clara grimaced, "You know you are an awfully cheeky eight year old." The girl did not respond to that, just stared interestedly at her fingernails, focusing on one cuticle in particular. Frowning even more, Clara turned back to the bright memories. Ok, if they were going to react, maybe they could just do that instead… She reached out for the first memory again, and it glowed more brightly at her touch. The memory was warm in her hand, and just a little malleable. It seemed to be made from some kind of clear gel with images captured inside like amber, except there was clearly movement. She pulled it from the line and brought it gently to her forehead. The instant it made contact, she felt herself rushing through water and that roar growing steadily louder until suddenly –
Os is 9 years old, and she doesn't really want to be here.
She'd wanted to have her friends Kappa, Lambda, and Mu over for a sleep over, but her father and mother had insisted that they both had to be at this event, and that there was no way she was going to have friends over without them home, "Iota, you can have your friends over tomorrow night," her mother had told her as he sipped calmly at a warm beverage and read the morning paper, "but we have been asked to speak at the ceremony, and that is a great honor!" He used her school name, as he usually did to avoid using and letting slip her real name. Os understood the necessity of it for school, but it had weirded her out the first time it was used at home. "Even if it wasn't, neither your father nor I would consider canceling so last minute just so our daughter can have some friends over. It's your summer break – you will have time to see them!"
But Os is still unhappy that she has to sit through this. She has to watch while every member of a whole graduating class of university students declares to society what their chosen names will be. How boring is that! It might mean more to her if she thought she would ever meet these people again, but really… she doubts it. She wishes she'd been allowed to at least bring a book. Instead she sits there near the back of the auditorium in the balcony, twiddling her thumbs and waiting for the slow torture to end. Stupid name ceremony…
One name catches her attention, though she can't explain why.
It is not the strangest name of the day, or the longest or most flowery. It is not the only 'title only' name, either, but when she hears it she sits upright a little more and stares down from her balcony seat at the stranger.
He is approximately 30 years old, like most of the graduates. His eyes are sharp with intelligence, and he carries himself with a sobriety that strikes Os as somehow… misplaced.
"The Doctor" he says, "My name is The Doctor."
The world blurred, rushing past her in streaks of light and there was a waterfall pounding on her eardrums, louder and louder until there was short pop! and she was suddenly back, holding the glowing orb in the palm of her hand.
"Huh. So you were at his name ceremony. And you felt drawn to him, even then. Interesting…" Clara looked down to see the TARDIS frowning thoughtfully, tapping a small blue finger against her chin. Then she grinned, white flashing against dark blue, "Apparently I'm not the only one here who was an impudent child, either."
It was Clara's turn to sniff, "I don't know what you could possibly mean! I was an angel." She tossed the memory up, watching it float up to join the other bubbles.
"Actually you were – but that was another life."
That brought Clara up short, "What? As in an actual –" the TARDIS interrupted her, "We'll get to that one later. For now, let's see the rest of these."
The woman stared suspiciously at her companion, then shook herself and reached for the next glowing bubble. This one was about the size of her head, and she had to handle it with both hands. The feeling of entering the memory was becoming almost familiar now, and with a sensation of falling through water, she was there.
Iota sits at a desk in a vast lecture hall. She has become used to thinking of herself in her school name – after 10 years of being called by it, it almost seems more real than her birth name some days. She will never forget that she is Os, but even saying it out loud to herself feels alien. She is 18 now, and just starting university.
Today she is sitting in Gallifreyan History 101. A seriously difficult class in many ways. Being a time travelling society means things can change, and people born in later chapters of the textbook tend to arrive in early chapters without a whole lot of reference to who they are or what they are doing there. One guy in particular ends up showing up in almost every chapter inexplicably, driving a faulty TARDIS and creating chaos. He doesn't have a name in the textbook, just a random designation MMWAB, which frustrates Iota to no end. He is probably the most interesting part of many of the stories. Besides that, he saves the day more often than not, and she can't understand why such a hero isn't given recognition.
The one time she asked her professor about it, he told her it was probably because history books had not yet caught up with the time period of his birth. "Probably MMWAB is born many centuries from now, but it is possible that he is alive right now, and when the next edition is written it will include his name at last. I really don't know." As a habit, Gallifreyan historians leave out names of people yet to be born from textbooks to avoid young Time Lords trying to pick names to match a future that might turn out not to be theirs.
Which, oddly enough, brings her back to the lecture she is supposed to be paying attention to. The words 'NAME CEREMONY – DECIDING YOUR PURPOSE' are scrawled across the large viewing screen at the front of the room in her professor's handwriting. Sighing, she finally tunes into what he is saying:
"… can be anything you want, pulled from any language or culture, as long as in the end it means something to you. The name you choose should outline to you what kind of life you want lead. Do you want to go into government? Choose something that reminds you of that, and what you intend to do once in power. Your name should help you remember everything you are and everything you want to be. And DON'T choose something frivolous – getting a name legally changed is a hassle. I knew someone who came to the ceremony drunk and was stuck as 'MyTardisIsFat' for the next five years."
That makes everyone in the class start to giggle, then outright laugh for a solid minute. Even the professor cracks a smile before gesturing for everyone to quiet down.
"I know you all probably think it's a little early to be considering your naming ceremonies, but I recommend that you put some time into thinking about it, even now. At least get the wheels turning. What is your purpose? Who do you want to be?"
He lets his questions linger in silence for a moment, blanketing the lecture hall, until some idiot sitting in the back of the class calls out "MyTardisIsFat!" and the laughter erupts again. The professor shakes his head, "Very funny, Rho-Tau. Now, the very first name ceremony was instituted by the Other in the year…"
Iota tunes him out again, too focused on his questions to listen. What did she want to do with her life? What purpose was she being called to?
The thought comes to her, an idea so strong it is almost a physical force on her mind. She is meant to create something. Something massive and unspeakably important. And her creation will touch billions of lives, reaching out to millions of distant suns. It will start so simply, though, and she will be needed. She will make the history she is reading about – it cannot happen without her. She is The Maker.
The sensations of rushing water and a loud pop later, Clara was back, blinking away a wave of dizziness.
"That was such an intense feeling. I was so certain, and it came out of nowhere! What do you think it was?" Clara asked. The TARDIS took a moment before responding, and Clara noticed that she looked a little woozy too. So she hadn't been the only one affected.
"Uh… Best guess? That was your united consciousness within the Doctor's timeline reaching out to nudge you in the correct direction. Shove might be a better word – you were less than delicate." The TARDIS girl rubbed her forehead, still clearly a little off balance. Clara felt a flutter of worry, even though she knew it was probably foolish to feel worry over an omnipotent being. In response to her concern, however, the floor shifted, and a column of light rose from it to form a pair of comfortable looking chairs the same way the pedestal had appeared. Clara pushed the memory back towards to the ceiling and sat in a chair, gesturing to the other, "Sit for a minute, would you?" The girl nodded, her eyes closing, "Yeah, good idea. I'm not used to being the one getting thoughts put in my head. It's quite the experience!"
She settled into the chair, curling her legs up under her and leaning back against it gratefully. Then she opened one eye to peer at Clara. "Just cause I'm sitting doesn't mean you should stop! Come on, next memory!" she demanded, then stuck out her tongue playfully. Clara laughed, then nodded, "Yes, of course, your majesty! Whatever you desire!"
"Shut it."
The next memory was about the same size as the last, and Clara took the glowing orb almost reverently, tapping it against her forehead. Speeding sound and light until –
Iota is 30 years old, and today is the day she will become who she is meant to be. She will no longer be Iota. A small part of her wonders if she will miss the name. She's lived with it for so long now… No. She doesn't think she will. Her new name is the one meant for her.
She stands in a long line of other graduates, including her childhood friends Kappa, Lambda, and Mu. The three of them stand behind her in line, grinning at her and each other. They became friends all those years ago because they had been standing next to each other as they were given their school designations. It seems so fitting that they should be together again now that they are giving up those names for the identities they plan to have for the rest of time.
Looking out over the audience, Iota can see her parents sitting a couple rows back from the front. Her parents have changed quite a bit since she was nine years old and pouting about being dragged to a name ceremony. For one thing, her father regenerated a few years ago after a particularly bad accident and came out looking around 20 years old. It was strange to have a parent look younger than herself, but she really liked to tease him about being the baby of the family. Her mother has changed as well – he is much older now. He's been thinking about voluntarily regenerating now that his husband is physically so much younger than him, but of course regeneration is a lottery, so he's a bit hesitant.
Both of them are grinning today, and they wave at her. She smiles, but doesn't wave back out of respect for Epsilon, who is currently running through her spiel. Just four more students, then it would be her turn.
Three more…
Two…
One…
And suddenly she is ascending to the podium, turning to face the audience. Iota puts her hand over the glowing crystal set into the otherwise smooth surface of the podium, as all the graduates had done. Her body is tingling with her excitement, so she takes a deep breath to steady herself. Then she began the speech that all graduates had learned since the very first name ceremony:
"My name is Iota.
Today I cast off this name to take my place as a Time Lord, taking a new name of my choosing.
The Maker. My name is The Maker."
Clara was pulled from the memory smiling, reliving the excitement and pride she had felt on that day. The TARDIS was smiling too, "That is so cool! I've often wondered what it felt like for my thief the day he chose his name, but I never imagined it feeling so intense! Do people always feel like that? So much emotion, it was like I was going to explode!" She jumped up on her chair, throwing her hands in the air excitedly to accentuate her point. Clara laughed, "No, not all the time – just on the good days."
Pushing up on the bubble gently, returning the memory returned to the cloud, Clara thought for a moment. The last memory was the largest. But she already knew what her promise had been, and she'd seen her name ceremony. What else could there be?
"Well come on! We've only got the one more to go!" She was excited, and it was making her impatient.
"I know, I know, just give me a minute…"
The orb hung in the air in front of her, glowing softly. This one made her nervous, though she couldn't have explained to anyone why. A flickering of moving images and colors emanated from within it, and Clara tried to make something out to give her some idea of what could be contained within. "What could you be…" the woman mused to herself. The girl sitting across from her scoffed, "The only way to know that is to go in, silly! Come on," and Clara was surprised as the little blue girl climbed up into her lap, "don't worry. I'll help you out."
She was surprisingly warm, and Clara couldn't help herself from wrapping her arms around the child and hugging her close, "Thank you."
"No problem! Now…" the child situated herself sitting on Clara's lap, facing the bubble. She reached out with both of her small arms, pulling it closer, "let's see what happens next…"
Clara closed her eyes as the orb touched her forehead, the rush of light and sound ushering her into another memory.
AN: I looked up an etymology of names, specifically for Oswin and Oswald. The site I went to claimed that Oswin and Oswald share a common element – os, coming from the old English meaning God. Specifically Oswin is God's Friend, and Oswald is God's Ruler. For the record, Clara means clear or bright.
I bring this up because this is how I decided on her Gallifreyan title – in several religions, God is the Great Maker, and Clara gets to make something pretty important.
But it makes me wonder if Moffat chose her names for a reason…
Bonus points if you can guess how I came up with the Doctor's "random" designation in the history books!