Breaking Free 7

All recognized characters, situations, and dialog belong to AMC, the creators, writers, and actors of The Walking Dead. Major spoilers exist, still working Beth into season 5b. Spoilers for Try. I'm still planning on finishing out the season, it's only one more episode, but really I don't like where they're taking everyone this season, especially Rick – haven't we been down the 'Rick loses his mind over a woman' road before? Plus the whole Carl just wandering off again (been there done, that, remember Dale and the swamp walker?) Also, what about all the bonding between Rick, Michonne, and Carl along the way – doesn't seem to matter anymore. Neither does anyone they lost more than a day ago. Once again, no funeral. Just two of them over four new graves? I can see putting up a marker but why dig a hole with no body, and why four? I used to love this show so much…

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* X *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

By the time Rick, Carol, and Carl reached the van, people were already carrying Tara and Nicholas out. Deanna was clutching at Reg as Maggie looked on in stunned shock.

"I'm sorry," Glenn cried. "I am so sorry. But Aidan caused this. He ignored what I told him and fired a shot into a grenade that blew himself and Tara up. We tried to save him, but he was trapped and dying. Then this asshole," his voice broke as Nicholas was carried past. "Panicked in a bad spot and sacrificed us to save his own ass. Because of him, Noah was ripped apart right in front of me. We could've…"

"Glenn," Rick quietly tried to stop his rampage.

Glenn whirled, "What? You want me to calm down? It was a simple run, we would've been fine, now because of their actions Noah and Aidan are dead. Tara may soon be!" Then his eyes found Beth, standing off to the side with Judith on her hip. Glenn gripped his hair and yanked. "Jesus, Beth…" Maggie finally threw off her shock and went to Glenn to hold him.

"Come on Beth," Carl urged as he turned her around. "Let's go back to the house now."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth was sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing, when Michonne walked in. Michonne didn't say a word just walked to the sink and soaked a washcloth in cool water. She handed it over and Beth pressed it to her face.

"It's not fair. Not after everything he's been through. After a year in Grady, then the escape. He came back for me, you know. Then the trip up here and what he went through in Richmond. It's not fair for him to die like that," Beth choked on her sobs. "If I hadn't…"

"You can't think that way, Beth," Michonne interrupted as she slid down the wall to sit next to her. "A million things led us to this point, for better or worse. We're here. And we just have to keep going." She pulled Beth close. "I wanted to give up after Andrea. Never really had a friend like her before. Spent all that time chasing ghosts around the countryside. Half hoping some walker would put an end to me. Put me out of my misery. But nothing did and in time the misery… became bearable. You survived losing your Dad," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, "losing the prison. Grady. Getting shot. You will survive this, baby, you will."

They sat together for a long moment, then heard Judith begin to fuss in her crib. Beth sighed and wiped her face again. "Want me to get her?" Michonne asked.

Beth shook her head and pushed to her feet, "I got it. Her afternoon nap's over."

Judith was sitting up in the crib. As soon as Beth appeared in the doorway, she quieted and smiled, "Beh!"

"Hello Jujube," Beth crooned as she scooped up the baby. "There's my sweet girl." Judith patted her damp cheeks and nuzzled close.

"We keep going," Michonne said from behind her. "Because it's all we can do. We will make this place work. We have to." As she walked away, Rick walked in. They nodded to each other.

Beth quickly changed Judith's diaper and dressed her. "How's Tara?"

"Holding on," Rick replied. "I'm so sorry about Noah."

"He wanted to help this place work," Beth said. "He was going to learn from Reg how to build and maintain the walls."

"I know."

Beth turned with the baby on her hip, "These walls are an illusion. They keep the people inside believin' they're safe in this world gone to hell. But walls fall Rick. They always do. There's no keepin' the outside out for very long. These people never should've survived this long."

"They're weak," Rick nodded. "We're not."

"They're worse than weak, Rick, they're slippin'. Slidin' down a steep slope into chaos, and they're draggin' us down with them. They're goin' to get more of us killed. We never shoulda come here."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Night fell quickly. Daryl finished stringing the cans that would act as a warning signal for anyone or anything approaching. Aaron turned, "Soup's on. Well less soup and more… stew, I guess? It's probably not bad, Eric cooked it and I managed to not burn it… much."

They ate silently then settled in for the night.

Daryl sighed, tucking his hands under his head.

"Guess you're used to the outdoors."

Daryl glanced over to where Aaron was leaning against the car. "Yeah. Been in 'em all my life. It's inside I ain't used to."

"You came in though."

"The boy and the baby need a safe place. The others too."

Silence fell for a long moment, then Aaron chuckled, "Sorry. Just remembering this stray cat that Eric's mom took in. Thing was wild, covered in fleas and ticks. She took him in, cleaned him up, fed him. Then she let him back outside. A few days later he was back for another meal and night in a bed. He wandered for a while, but always came back to her house. As he got older, he wandered less and less."

"Nothin' worse than an outdoor cat that thinks he's an indoor cat," Daryl remembered.

Aaron shrugged, "He was always an outdoor cat. You can't change who you are by coming inside. No more than walking into a garage makes you a mechanic. You are who you are."

"I ain't the same as who I was before."

"At the core you are," Aaron argued. "We all change, adjust and adapt. We all grow up at some point. But inside, truly inside our soul, we are who we are."

Daryl fell silent, chewing on his thumbnail as he stared up at the stars. "Eric's parents… you knew them?"

Aaron sighed as he settled down onto his back, "Yeah. My parents… kicked me out as soon as they realized about me. I'd barely admitted it to myself, hell I was still dating my high school girlfriend."

"My Dad… wasn't a nice guy. He kicked me out when I was fifteen. My mom'd been dead for years by then."

"Where did you go?"

"My brother. You?"

"Friends. Lived for a few weeks on a teacher's couch. Finished school, took the college offer that took me the furthest away from home and ran for it. I went back a few years later, but they'd moved. No idea where they went. Eric's parents on the other hand," he smiled. "His dad was this gruff, firm, conservative war vet. But he flat out told Eric 'You are my son and I will love you no matter what'. He and I bonded over world travels and being in war zones. He was an amazing man."

"Gone?"

"Few years ago," Aaron nodded, "I was on my way to the Middle East for work so we were having a barbeque. He turned around from the grill to say something to me and his heart just stopped. He was gone before he hit the ground. We lost his mom about six months later. She'd been fighting cancer, but… lost the will at that point."

"Sorry," Daryl whispered.

Aaron sighed, "Me too. But they would've been lost in this. She especially would've hated to be seen as any sort of burden. Beth reminds me of her a bit. That sweet, angelic exterior covering a backbone of solid steel."

Daryl smiled to himself, "Yeah, that's Beth."

"How long have you two been together?"

Daryl shrugged and grunted. When Aaron remained silent, Daryl sighed, "Not long. We was friends, I guess. Was kinda on all of us to protect her and the other kids. Then it was just us, alone, wanderin'. And one day I looked at her, and she wasn't a kid no more. Still mine to protect and provide for, but more than that. You know?"

Aaron nodded, smiling, "I met Eric at work. For a while it was just friendship, then one day it was something more. Hit me like a freight train. Thing was, Eric knew all along. He was just waiting for me to figure it out. When I finally asked him out, he gave me this smile, like finally, what took you so long."

"I know that smile. She called me an idiot."

Aaron snorted, "Oh yeah, I've been the idiot more than once. Thankfully the people we love are more than patient with us, despite our idiocy." He yawned. "Guess we should get some rest. Want me to take first watch?"

"Nah I got it."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Next day -

"Beth, they're startin'," Maggie called. Beth was kneeling next to the little stream with the baby strapped to her. "What were you doin'?"

Beth showed her the small stone she'd found, "For the memorial. There aren't any rocks in this place, they cleared them all out."

"Oh," Glenn blinked, "They have headstones ready. They're putting them on the graves."

Beth followed slowly, "Why are they diggin' graves? There aren't any bodies."

"It's still a sign of respect," one of the women she'd met at the party snapped as she walked by.

Beth fell silent and remained that way for the rest of the service. After the words were spoken and the two empty graves were filled in, everyone wandered away. Beth went silently to Noah's memorial and placed the stone on top. Judith whimpered as Beth cried silent tears, alone. Beth rocked her gently and turned away to find someone waiting for her.

"Hey," Abraham said. "Dropped off Rosita at the clinic. I'll walk you back." He offered her his hand to step down off the curb. "I thought maybe you'd sing."

Beth sniffled, "I'll sign for Noah. I won't sing for the man who got him killed."

"Yeah," he rubbed her back, "I get that. These people… Shit hit the fan yesterday at the job site. Seems petty now, but they left someone behind. If I hadn't acted, she'd be dead."

Beth nodded, "Just remember Abraham, we need you to come back alive too. Every time. You can't expect any of them to help you, they're not like us. Sounds like their way is everyone for themselves."

He walked her up the stairs to the house, on the front porch was a large plastic bin. Abraham opened it to find diapers and baby clothes. "That should be the last of it. Suzanne said Joseph would drop it off," Beth said. "These people had enough baby stuff for quadruplets and then some. I think maybe they didn't do laundry."

Abraham hefted the box, "Considering the neighborhood I'd assume they had someone who did laundry for them. So no more visits from Joey?"

"Nope."

"Way to go Daryl."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Eugene sat next to Tara, reading aloud from a comic book Carl had brought him. He turned as there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. "Hey Tara, Beth and Judith are here. And they brought food."

Beth smiled, "Carol was afraid you were starvin' yourself."

Eugene shrugged and took the offered container. He moved out of the way so Beth could take the visitor's seat.

"Ta-Ta," Judith called. She pushed herself up to stand on Beth's lap as Beth braced her.

"Tara's sleepin'," Beth replied. "She bumped her head. But she'll wake up soon." She glanced back at Eugene, "You need to eat that. I gotta take the container back with me."

"I'm not really hungry," Eugene opened it and inhaled the aroma, grinning self-consciously as his stomach growled loudly. "Maybe a little." Judith giggled.

"You gotta eat. Won't do Tara any good if you pass out," Beth said.

"She's here because of me."

"Yep," Beth nodded. Eugene blinked at her. She rubbed his arm soothingly. "Glenn told us. She was knocked out because Aidan shot the grenade. They got to the office, then left you to go for Aidan. You got Tara out. Got her to the van, then waited for Glenn. They're both alive because of you. You've told us a dozen times that you're a coward."

"I am."

She rubbed his back, "You didn't run, Eugene. You didn't abandon her or Glenn. Cowards run. They abandon people. Nicholas is a coward. You are far from it. Now eat."

Beth pulled a book from the diaper bag to entertain the baby, while Eugene ate. Once he was done, she packed back up to leave. "Try to get some rest too, OK?"

Eugene nodded, "Hey wait a minute. Bring the baby back." Beth complied and Eugene lifted Tara's hand and curled her fingers into a fist. Beth smiled and did the same to Judith, bringing their hands together in Tara's preferred fist bump. "For luck." Eugene gave Judith a quick kiss on her head. Beth smiled at him and patted his back before she left.

Eugene took his spot back next to Tara. He picked up the comic book and thumbed through until he found his place. Then he leaned over and grinned at Tara, "I just had a pretty girl rub my arm and pat my back while she said nice things to me. I'm calling that first base. You wake up and we'll talk about it. Not that I'm expecting it to go anywhere, I mean come on, my sense of self-preservation is too high to let me make a move on Daryl Dixon's girl. Still it was nice." He sighed, "You wake up and laugh at me. Please."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

Beth was sitting in the living room playing with Judith when a loud crash startled her. She scooped up the baby and went outside to see Rick and Pete fighting in the street. Sam ran to Carol as Beth walked down the steps to the sidewalk.

"RICK!" Beth yelled at the same time Jessie screamed, "PETE!"

Pete and Rick didn't pause in their assault on each other, but their snarled orders overlapped, "Jessie get your ass back in that house!" "Beth go inside the house, now!"

Beth retreated to the porch with Judith as Jessie, then Carl, tried to intervene. Glenn was running towards them, but none of the Alexandria residents were trying to stop the fight. Rick pulled back, bloody and battered, to berate Deanna and the others. Beth stepped back, holding Judith close, swaying to keep her soothed. When Michonne advanced and knocked Rick unconscious, Beth went inside the house letting the door slam loudly behind her. She sat Judith into the playpen and handed her a toy. Judy was anxious but calm and easily distracted with the newer toy. She went to the window to watch the activity.

Carl helped Michonne and several of the men drag Rick and Pete out of the street. Carol took Sam and Jessie into their house along with Ron. Maggie and Glenn went with Deanna and Reg, Beth could see them talking animatedly. She knew Abraham was back out on the work crew and Rosita was probably back with Eugene and Tara.

"I'll be right back, Judy," Beth smiled. Then she ran upstairs. It only took a few minutes to gather what she needed, the plain dark green sling she wasn't using daily, a package of diapers, several items of clothing for her and the baby. She shoved them all into a duffel bag she'd found in the supplies at the house and carried it down stairs to the kitchen to add a few cans that wouldn't be missed. Just as she reached the living room where the baby played contentedly, someone knocked on the kitchen door. She answered it with her hand on her knife to find Enid there.

"Hi," Enid greeted, "Is Carl back?"

"Not yet," Beth replied.

"Oh, OK."

"Enid, wait," Beth said. She lowered her voice, "I've seen you climb the wall in and out."

"Yeah," Enid replied cautiously.

"I won't tell anyone, I swear. But I need your help. I need you to take this bag over the wall and hide it somewhere you can tell me how to find easily. And I need it to be a secret, from everyone."

Enid nodded, "Things are falling apart here too, aren't they?"

"Things always fall apart," Beth replied.

Enid took the bag. "If you walk straight out from this wall junction here, there's a place with a hollowed out tree. It's about ten feet taller than the ones around it. I've hidden things up inside it before, I'll put your bag there. If you promise to take me with you when you go."

Beth nodded, "OK, I promise."

Enid jogged away with the bag over her shoulder. Beth watched as she waited until the area was clear, and climbed up the wall skillfully. Once she disappeared over the side, Beth shut the kitchen door and went in to Judith.

"I never considered… taking you away from him, Jude," Beth whispered as the baby played. "But if he's in that dark place again… We'll be OK until Daryl gets back. Here or outside."

"Beh."

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

I came here like so many did
To find the better life
To find my piece of easy street
To finally be alive
And I know nothing good comes easy
And all good things take some time
I made my bed I'll lie in it
To die in it's the crime

You can't help but prosper
Where the streets are paved with gold
They say the oil wells ran deeper here
than anybody's known
Now, I packed up on my wife and kid
And left them both back at home

See, there's nothing in this pay dirt
The ghosts are all I know
Now the oil's gone
And the money's gone
All the jobs are gone
Still we're hangin' on

…

Man spends his whole life
Waiting praying for some big reward
It seems sometimes
The payoff leaves you feeling
Like a dirty whore
If I could choose the way I'll die
Make it by the gun or knife
'Cause the other way there's too much pain
Night after night after night after night

Down in dry county
They're swimming in the sand
Praying for some holy water
To wash the sins from off my hands
Here in dry county
The promise has run dry
Where nobody cries
And no one's getting out of here alive

Dry County – lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi – album Keep the Faith, May 1994

*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*