We were making our slow, solitary way down the corridor, just me and Sirius, traipsing along under the Invisibility Cloak, when we hear a muffled sound, like someone breathing heavily.
Sirius glances at me with amusement dancing in his eyes. "Peeves, you think? Or maybe the Bloody Baron? We haven't done a prank involving ghosts in a while…"
"No, Padfoot," I protest, feeling the regret deep in my belly but shaking my head anyways, "I don't do pranks anymore, remember?"
"And if you continue acting like a shithead in front of Evans, your mastermind plan to make her notice that you're not pranking anymore will have no effect whatsoever," Sirius says, a wicked smirk on his face.
"Shut it," I punch him in the shoulder. "Let's go investigate that sound," I say, just to change the subject.
"Evading that comment isn't going to change the truth," Sirius singsongs, but follows along after me anyways as I advance cautiously along the corridor. 'Course, he kinda has to, what with being under the Cloak with me and all.
The breathing is coming from somewhere to my left. There's an abandoned classroom there. I peer through the window in the door.
Oh. Lily Evans. Thoughts begin to race in my head. I feel a small involuntary grin spread up my face. Sirius shakes his head at me like I'm a fool.
"Alright, alright," he sighs, "let's go get your Evans fix for the day. Merlin knows what will explode if you guys don't let some of that sexual tension out before classes start."
I let the grin expand just a little bit, thinking I wish it were sexual tension, before sweeping the Cloak off us and shoving it at him. "Put it away," I command, and step into the room. After opening the door, of course.
Evans immediately spins around on her heel to see who it is. I notice that her face looks tired, before it descends into a bad-tempered ('course, I prefer the word feisty) scowl, at the sight of us, probably. We're not exactly her favorite people in the world. But I'm close to it. Really, I am. Like Sirius said, sexual tension and all that…ah, who am I kidding. She hates me. Get a grip on yourself, James.
"What are you guys doing here?" she asks. Like you was a disgusting swearword or something. Which is funny, because you wouldn't think that Evans was disgusted by swearwords, the way she uses them. It's like their part of her necessary daily vocabulary or something.
"What do you think we're doing here?" I reply, wiggling my eyebrows a bit, simultaneously trying to look mysterious and evade the question, because I really don't have an answer for it. Accidental spotting? For some reason, I don't think she'd believe that…
Evans rolls her eyes. "I think that you're leaving, is what I think you're doing."
"You would be incorrect, then," I say, determined not to leave quite yet. From the looks of it, Evans has been here for some time, which means she would have had to get up very early in the morning, which means I will get little to no interaction with her later in the day, because she'll be incredibly grumpy and ill-tempered because of her lack of sleep, which most likely means that if I do get interaction with her, she'll either stomp away after several sentences or we'll have one of those huge flaming rows that we have whenever she's is in a particularly bad mood. I'm not satisfied with either. For Merlin's sake, I was trying to make friends with the girl, not get her to hex me! Contrary to some people's beliefs, I do not get off on that.
Evans rolls her eyes again (of course, managing to look incredibly attractive, as her looking up brought her illicitly long eyelashes to my attention). "You wear makeup, Evans?" I ask. Hey, first thing that came to my mind. Besides, it's early, and I've long ago resigned myself to saying stupid and crazy stuff to get her to talk to me.
"Yes, I bloody wear makeup. Have a problem with it?" Evans challenged.
"Just make sure not to put too much on. Wouldn't want you looking like a hooker, now would we?" Darn. Why the fuck did I just say that? Darn. I wink at her. Shit. Why did I just wink? Why aren't my facial features connected to my brain?!
Evans raises her eyebrows. "What would you know about makeup, Potter? And why the bloody fuck is it any of your business what I wear?"
"You see, Prongs here," Sirius started, interrupting for the first time since we'd come here (I'm surprised because he usually does it a lot sooner. I'll have to congratulate him for his newfound restraint later), "just wants to understand you, Evans. Apparently that process includes applying makeup to look like you. Maybe so that he can practice talking to you in the mirror?"
I send a wicked glare to my supposed best friend for saying that. First of all, that's not true, and second of all, I am so not congratulating him for restraint anymore. No, it's not true! I'll swear it before the Wizengamot! It's not true! Well, there was that one time I used Remus as a model for Evans but come on, that was like last month! And I didn't use makeup in any of that! I mean, I may have possibly Transfigured Remus's hair to be long and red but that was just for my vivid imagination. Of course.
"Ha ha, funny joke, Padfoot," I say lazily, pretending not to be affected by his words at all, "but I think a certain dog needs to be kept on a tighter leash."
"Oh, shut it, Prongs, you and I both know you can't do anything to me," Sirius mocked. "In a duel I would best you in several seconds, if that."
"Regardless of whether or not you can do anything to each other, I can bloody well certainly do something to both of you, and I will if you don't leave now!" Dang. Evans is mad. And so, so hot right now, I can't even accurately describe it. With those green eyes sparking flame at me and her red hair practically crackling with electricity, she looks like a goddess.
"I look like a what?" Her shocked voice rings out into the sudden stillness of the room. Dang. Did I say that out loud? Merlin, what is fucking wrong with me? Again, WHY ARE MY FACIAL FEATURES NOT CONNECTED TO MY BRAIN?! Of course, when I need it, my brain doesn't activate, but as soon as I think something inappropriate, my brain suddenly decides, oh yeah, mouth? You can say that now. And my mouth – ha, let me tell you – my mouth has let out some pretty embarrassing things. Like that time in fifth year when I told Evans that her butt was the glory of mankind…but let's not get into that right now.
Apparently, I've just shocked Evans speechless. Wow, what an accomplishment. The last time I did that was back in third year, when I first asked Evans to go out with me. Her speechlessness was quickly followed by a kick to the shin and the acidic question, pronounced in that silky, dangerous voice she has when she's really mad, of why I didn't want the first notch on my bedpost to be some slut like Amelia Holms? Who, by the way, is this girl in our year that is often, just as Evans did on that day, called a slut, usually behind her back, but almost never to her face. Holms and Evans haven't been too friendly since, so though I don't think Holms was there when Evans said that, it must have gotten around.
I mean, I'm not the one with all the notches in my bedpost. That's Sirius. He's the one who slept with Holms for a week straight last year. She must have been really sexy, because Sirius almost never does that. The most girls usually get is two, maybe three nights if they're really lucky.
But fake blondes who shake their boobs in your face, they've never been too appealing to me. No, I prefer natural, gorgeous redheads with bright green eyes that are so gorgeous and sparkling when she's happy…not that I've ever seen her happy up close. She's not usually happy in my presence. But I've, you know, watched from afar. In a very non-stalkerish way.
Anyways, before I get too off track with my talk of Evans (and trust me, I can go on for a solid hour at least!) Evans was being all speechless at my accidental comment that I thought she was a goddess.
Her eyes narrow, and she takes one step towards me. I take a step back. It's best to take precautions in these kinds of situations. "What joke do you think you're bloody playing?" she hisses, stalking towards me. She almost looks like a feline; it's scary.
Yup, I'm right. Another step back it is. Her eyes continue to burn at me, and her hand twitches, no doubt wanting to go to her wand. But I really don't want to get hexed so early in the morning, so I look her in the face without smiling and tell the honest truth for once in my life.
"What's the problem, Evans? You know I like you. Also, I'm sorry, but my brain has a tendency to stop controlling my mouth in the most inopportune moments, so I can't really be held responsible for what I said back there."
I stop, my heart hammering away wildly inside my chest. How is she going to react? Is she going to ridicule me when I just spilled some of my inner thoughts to her? She better not.
She stops walking towards me, and the burning recedes from her eyes, though they remain narrowed. I take it as a good sign and take a small step towards her. I stay silent for now, not wanting to say something that might spark her anger again. I glance at Sirius to make sure that he doesn't say anything either. We stand in complete silence.
Slowly, her eyes go back to their normal, gorgeous almond shape, her fists relax, and she stands there, oddly quiet, almost awkwardly, her hands swinging by her sides.
"Did you really mean that?" she asks me. Her voice is so quiet that I barely hear her, but when my brain finally processes her question, I can scarcely believe my ears. Did she just ask me if I meant that?
"Of course I meant it. I don't say things like that lightly."
"Of course you don't." Evans' voice is sarcastic and bitter, but not angry, which is always a good sign.
Wait. Wait a damn second. Did she mean what I think she meant?
"Wait, wait, wait," I say, taking a second to gather my thoughts. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I pause for a second, trying to make sense of her words. I take a small step towards her. "You – you think that I never…never meant any of that? What I did? All the…the Hogsmeade invitations and the compliments and inappropriate remarks?"
Evans tilts her head to the side, regarding me closely, as if wondering whether to believe me or not.
Finally, she shakes her head a smidge of a fraction.
"You're so daft," I say. My voice isn't an accusatory tone, it's more one of wonderment, but of course, she immediately tenses up, hands curling into fists and her legs taking on a wider stance, her signature defensive position.
"And then you go and say things like that and wonder why I don't believe you when you say…what you just said?" she asks me, sounding a bit angry and a bit disbelieving.
"No, no, Evans, that's not what I meant," I say, my voice oddly gentle without my commanding it to be so (compliments of my weird mouth, but I guess it's not so bad in this situation), "I meant that it amazes me that you haven't noticed this when these past – these past three years it's been right under your nose!" I almost want to laugh; it's such a weird thought. I mean, I guess it makes sense, though. I always knew that Evans had a vindictive streak, of course; but don't all people do? I never really thought it was as bad as when she fought with me…I mean, she was nice to everybody else. Of course, if she thought it was all a joke, she would have responded cruelly! Too bad it never was…
Evans' face makes a sudden movement: her eyebrows draw together. It breaks me out of my thought process. I watch her.
"So…" she begins quietly, "it wasn't a joke? You weren't just making fun of me as the girl who never went out on dates?"
"For Merlin's sake, Evans, no! Like you didn't go out on any dates!"
"Well, I guess there were a couple…but they were pretty much all to try to get you to leave me alone…I thought that if you saw that I could have a steady relationship you would shove off a bit…" she flushes a deep red, which contrasts oddly with her hair, but her blush is so pretty that all I want to do is touch her cheek.
"Lily," I say slowly, using her first name for the first time in what feels like ever, "it was never an act. It was never a chase. I always liked you."
She takes in a shaky breath, for once all defensiveness gone, leaving this sweet shell of a girl that I would never have expected coming from Lily. She's so resilient and full-bodied and not a girly girl at all – I mean, swearing is like her second language – but it's unexpectedly pleasant and sweet to think that I might have this effect on her, that I have the ability to unbalance her so much that all her tough exterior falls away. It makes me very hopeful. I knew there was a chance for our relationship. I always knew it! Ah, what the heck. Everybody knows by now that I'm a complete sap.
Lily swallows. "I think…" she says shakily, meeting my eyes uncertainly, "…I think we need to start over."
I can't help but wholeheartedly agree. "Lily Evans, will you do me the pleasure of being my friend?"
She looks antsy, almost like she doesn't want to say yes, but I know her well enough to know when she knows she's wrong.
"J-James Potter, I'll try to be your friend."
So it's not a complete yes, but hey! At least it's not a no. It's not even a maybe! It's an I'll try. And maybe it's wrong of me to get my hopes up, but I feel like this time, I won't be disappointed.
I grin at her, trying to convey all my hopes in that one facial expression ('course, knowing my facial features, that won't work at all and it'll look like I'm suppressing gas or something like that).
With an uncertain smile and even a slight nod to Sirius, Lily walks – almost stumbles – out of the room, leaving me and Sirius alone. This whole thing seems to have shaken her more than I thought. 'Course, she hasn't had three years to get used to the fact that the person who you thought was mean to you actually liked you. She'll have a while to, though. And I fully expect that the next time I see her, she'll be as vigorous and healthy as she always is. Lily can be a tough act to follow, but she's always quick to put herself back together. Besides, she's got a shell like a turtle. No one can get through that exoskeleton of hers effectively. And hopefully soon, those mad swears she used to throw at me will turn into pleasant swears when I kiss the breath out of her – okay, James, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. But I've been waiting for three years! And you'll probably have to wait for another one. Calm down.
Sirius effectively stirs me out of Lily-land (as he and Peter like to call it) with a douse of cold air from his wand. "What?" I sputter. "I'm here."
"Come on, lover boy," Sirius rolls his eyes, "let's go to breakfast so you can get some food in you before you collapse like a helpless girl from the shock that Evans actually agreed to not hate you anymore."
I ignore Sirius as I stride haughtily out of the room and away from Sirius. Halfway down the corridor, my walk becomes a jog and Sirius laughs as he runs to catch up to me. "What's up with you?" he asks, smirking at my blinding grin.
I laugh breathlessly. "I can't wait to tell the boys the good news!"
"Stop sounding like a girl. Are you a Marauder or not?"
"A Marauder that's going to be going out with Lily Evans soon!"
"You probably shouldn't mention that in her presence. She might just spaz and never talk to you again," Sirius advises, wisely for once in his life.
"Yeah, you're probably right," I agree easily.
I mean, I know Lily better than anyone. Well, maybe not better than her friends. Or her parents. But I definitely know her better than Sirius. I mean, who watched her from afar for three years (in a very non-stalkerish way)? Me, that's who. And guess what else? Me, I'm going to become Lily Evans's friend. And a damn good one at that. So good that she'll beg to go out with me…okay, Lily never begs. But maybe I'll be able to ask? Nicely? And maybe, just maybe, she'll say yes? And then we can ride off into the sunset and eat cupcakes together…okay, I really need to stop getting ahead of myself. For one, Lily doesn't like sprinkles. And cupcakes aren't cupcakes without sprinkles. For another, she hasn't really, you know, agreed to go out with me yet…but it'll happen. Even if I do have to wait another year. I'll never give up on her.
Merlin, why am I such a sap? Compared to Lily, I'm going to turn out to be the girly one in our relationship…and that will never do. Even though Lily is a feminist and would never let me take complete control…but hey, our sex will be interesting. Oh my Merlin...I really need to stop getting ahead of myself…
(Note to self: never mention that in front of Lily, whatever my weird mouth and brain connection tells me to do.)