Honorable Intentions

Chapter 6: The Perfection of a Moment

"So I learned two things that night, and the next day, from him: the perfection of a moment, and the fleeting nature of it." ― Margaret George, The Memoirs Of Cleopatra

When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to see the sky still dark though dawn wasn't far off judging by pink tinge wreathing the horizon. Steady warmth nestled against her back. Sophia's breathing was soft and light as she buried her face in her pillow. Carol stroked her hair gently before easing her way out of the tent, carrying her shoes with her. She uncoiled; muscles protesting furiously from a night spent sleeping on the hard ground.

"Well, well," a deep voice drawled mockingly. "Look who's finally up? Bout time, darlin. I was beginning to think I was gonna have to come in and get you." Merle Dixon's raucous laughter shattered the early morning quiet.

Inwardly, she cringed as the man's faded blue eyes crawled over her face and form, an appreciative quirk to his lips. She forced herself to meet his eyes and to keep her voice calm as she questioned, "What do you mean about time? It's not even dawn."

"Hell, little lady, it's long past time to be out and about. Baby bro's been on the trail for the better part of two hours. Even Walsh has made a couple of water runs by now." He smirked as her cheeks reddened. "Didn't take you for no lady of leisure."

Carol eyed him incredulously. She could barely make him out with the last few shadows still hanging heavily about the camp. Her temper flared, overcoming her well-honed sense of self-preservation. "Can't see why anything I do concerns you. If you'll excuse me, I need to get breakfast started. My daughter should be getting up soon." Her eyes rounded as what she'd done registered. A bolt of pure fear arced through her, petrified of what his reaction would be. She didn't know this man but she knew enough like him to expect what was coming.

He managed to surprise her as he threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Woo hoo," he chortled. "Looks like the little mouse has some teeth. That explains a lot, damn me if it don't. Don't fuss, sugar, ole Merle's just having a little fun." He shifted out of his crouch, towering over her as he straightened to his full height. "Darylina threw a fit about leaving you and the kid alone. Said that asshole husband of yours might sneak back and start shit with you. Told him I'd watch out and kick the fucker's ass if I caught sight of him."

A shiver that had nothing to do with the cool morning air pebbled her skin. She'd never even considered that Ed might come back. He had been told in no uncertain terms what the consequences would be if he showed his face around camp. The man was a coward at heart. She couldn't believe that he would try anything unless he was doubly damned sure he could get away with it. The vague notion that he might still be around led her to eye the tree line. If he did come back, he would be out for blood, hers in particular, and a few punches wouldn't satisfy him.

"You go ahead and do what you need to do," the gentle tone belied every preconceived notion she had about Merle Dixon. She shied away, eyeing him warily as if looking for the trap. He held up his hands, fingers splayed to show that he meant no harm. "I told you, mouse, I promised my brother that I'd look after you and that's what I'm gonna do. That low-grade son of a bitch won't bother you, not while I'm still breathing. You can take that to the bank."

Carol felt something in her ease at his reassuring words. He meant it. She could see it in the taut lines of his face and the way his eyes stayed on her. He would keep her and Sophia safe because he said that he would. She never thought she'd see the day that Merle Dixon would be guarding her and she'd be happy about it. The world going to hell certainly made for strange bedfellows.

"Thank you," she murmured, ducking her head as she made her way toward the camp stove and the tin pot sitting beside it. "I'll have coffee ready in a minute."

"Take your time, darlin," he drawled. "I got all day."

A brief snort of laughter escaped her as she lit the burner and filled the pot from a plastic tote of water. Her hands moved surely as she plunked it down on the stove to bring it to a boil and put another pan on the edge to share the heat. Idle curiosity prompted the question before she lost her nerve. "What did you do, you know, before?"

He quirked a brow but let an arrogant smirk come to the fore. "We trading secrets now? How's this gonna work, mouse? You gonna give me tit for tat."

Carol straightened and narrowed her eyes at him. Could the man never be serious? She cursed herself for letting her tongue run away with her. The Dixons were something of an enigma to her, and had been since they followed Shane into camp. Both of them were equipped to survive on their own. Why they chose to hook up with the group was a mystery she couldn't unravel. Merle strutted about, brash and bold, like he owned the place. He was just as quick to offer a laugh as he was a punch to the face. Daryl, however, kept to himself, didn't make waves, and fed the camp with his seemingly endless hunting expeditions. The two brothers were two sides of a coin but now she could see it. They were more alike than first impressions showed, but when you looked again, there it was.

"I'm just trying to make conversation," she said softly. "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

Her timid tone brought a swath of color to his cheeks. His eyes slitted and an ugly curve twisted his mouth into a harsh line. "Don't," he sneered. "Don't try that with me, sweetheart. I ain't some asshole that's gonna knock the shit out of you if you show a little sass. I like my women with a little kick."

"I'm not one of your women," she retorted smartly. "I just meant that you if you don't want to talk then don't. It won't hurt my feelings."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he studied her for a moment before nodding toward the stove, his face inscrutable. "Gonna burn that meat if you don't turn it. Squirrel cooks up faster than beef or chicken." She bent to the pan and forked the contents into a neat line, flipping them with one practiced flick of her wrist. She darted a glance toward him as he chuckled. "Fair enough. I won't tell you how to cook and you won't look at me like I'm the devil, okay?"

She smiled by way of reply before grabbing a mug, tossing in a scoop of instant coffee before pouring in the water. Merle watched as she stirred the mixture a few times before proffering the cup. "Okay," she returned with a brief nod. "I'm sorry."

"No need be sorry," Merle downed the coffee in one long pull, grimacing as he dropped the mug beside the crate she was using as a table. "That shit could peel paint. Couldn't stomach it before everything went to hell and still can't."

Carol laughed before she caught herself. She flushed at his answering grin. "I don't think anybody likes it but we're not exactly equipped for the gourmet stuff. There's water or coke in the cooler if you'd rather have that."

Merle waved her away as he settled on a nearby log. "I'm good," he announced. "Little brother should be back any time now. I'll wait on him then grab something. You just do whatever it is you do. Don't pay me no mind."

Carol opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it. She grabbed the canister of rolled oats out of the crate and poured them into a pan with more of the boiling water. A hiss of annoyance escaped her when she realized there wasn't any sugar. Sophia wouldn't eat it unless it was sweet as syrup. She poked through the remaining supplies for a suitable substitute, only to jump a moment later when a plastic bear was shoved under her nose.

"Old man Dale had that stashed in the RV," Merle waved the bear in front of her. "Should work just fine. I couldn't get enough of the stuff as a kid. Got stung trying to rob a hive once. Little bastards swarmed before I could get down the tree. Must have hit every limb on the way down."

"I can see that," Carol took the honey and turned away before he caught her smile. "Bet you sucked eggs too."

"Careful there or I'll start thinking you're sweet on me," Merle boasted. "Don't try to figure ole Merle out. I don't even know why I do some of the shit I do."

She rolled her eyes before bending to give the oatmeal a last stir. She dipped out a goodly portion, poured a generous stream of honey over the mound, and handed him the bowl. "Eat," she ordered. "You must be hungry after all that talking. Never knew a man who liked the sound of own voice so much." He snorted out a laugh before wolfing down the oatmeal like he hadn't eaten in a week. "I don't think I've heard Daryl string more than three words together. You two are different, aren't you?"

Merle grimaced before taking another bite. He took the saucer of squirrel meat she handed him and set it on his knee. "He's the sweet one," he announced in between bites. "Never did say much even when he was a runt dogging my heels. Tried to make a man out of him but he went his own way." He eyed her with renewed interest. "You're awful concerned about my baby brother."

She shook her head hastily, dropping her eyes in the face of his knowing smile. "I was just making an observation. Don't take it for more than that." She heard scuffling footsteps and turned just in time to see Sophia making her way across the camp, a bedraggled doll tucked under one arm. "Come on, baby," she encouraged. "I've got breakfast ready. When you're done, we'll go down to the lake to clean up."

Sophia edged closer but her eyes drifted to the silently watching man just beyond her mother. To his credit, he didn't say anything, choosing instead to concentrate on finishing his meal. The girl sat down a short distance away and watched him in wary fascination. "Sophia," Carol admonished. "It's not polite to stare. Leave Mr. Dixon alone and eat your food." Sophia dropped her eyes to her bowl, stirring the warm cereal lazily as her gaze wandered back to Merle.

"I'm Sophia," she announced suddenly. Merle only nodded and continued to eat. "I've been helping Daryl with his hunting," she looked at him expectantly. "He said I was a natural. He even made me this." She pulled the sling shot out of her pocket and held it out for him to admire. "I'm not real good at it yet but I hit a squirrel yesterday."

"Good for you," Merle answered shortly, shooting her a brief glance. "Should know how to hunt. Won't go hungry that way."

She nodded enthusiastically and scooted closer. "I won't have to be afraid of the walkers either. I picked up plenty gravels yesterday. Daryl said they would do until he could get me some marbles. Those are the best, Daryl says. Do you think he'll be able to get them soon, Mr. Dixon? I need to practice."

Merle dropped his spoon into his bowl, looking at the chattering girl in wonder. "Ain't no wonder you're such a little thing. You never hush long enough to put food in your mouth." To Carol's utter amazement, he laughed quietly before rising with his empty dishes in hand. "Marbles, huh? Those work just fine if you can get hold of some. Ball bearings would be my pick cause they'd be easier to find. When Daryl gets back, we'll see if we can't round you up some, little bit."

"Little bit?" Sophia parroted. "Why'd you call me that?"

Merle surprised Carol yet again by putting his plate and bowl into the bucket of wash water she'd set aside to do the cleaning up once everybody had eaten. He answered almost absently as he made short work of cleaning up. "Cause you're a little bit of nothing that ain't as big as a minute. A good breeze would blow you away, gal. Eat and let that stop your mouth for a minute."

Sophia opened her mouth but stopped at Carol's warning look. She huffed in annoyance but started eating, grumbling under her breath with every other bite. She snuck a glance at the big man who, having finished washing up, had found a convenient tree trunk to lean against. His attention was fixed firmly on her mother who met him look for look. Intrigued, Sophia watched as the two stared each other down, neither willing to be the first to look away. Sophia's jaw dropped as her mother's lips tilted up at the edges. It wasn't a happy smile like she usually wore. She looked angry, mad enough to bite. It shocked the girl because she couldn't remember ever seeing her mama look that way.

"I don't give a damn about nobody in this world but my brother," Merle broke the stalemate. "I look out for him and make sure that he don't get in over his head. It's been that way since we was kids and that's how it's gonna be from now on."

Carol's voice was thin and strained as she replied tersely, "He's a grown man who's perfectly capable of deciding what he wants to do and who he wants to do it with. He chose to help Sophia. He chose to step in when Ed showed his true colors. I had nothing to do with any of it. I'm grateful for everything he's done for us, and I won't tell him to stop. My daughter needs to learn these things and he's willing to teach her. I'd be a fool not to take him up on it and I stopped being foolish a long time ago."

Merle's face hardened his blue eyes icy as he straightened abruptly. "You're barking up the wrong tree, missy. Dixons don't play house and we sure as fuck ain't nursemaids. There's nothing holding us here but the fact that we ain't got anything better to do right now. Don't get too attached, sweet cheeks. I'd hate to see you disappointed."

"Oh don't you worry," Carol drawled sweetly. "Like I said, I learned my lesson the hard way."

"Good," Merle's smile held more than a touch of warning. "Glad we understand each other." He tucked his hands into his back pockets and cut his eyes toward the tree line. "Looks like he had a good trip."

Carol turned just in time to see Daryl stride out of the trees with a decent sized doe slung across his shoulder. Before she could answer, Sophia was already thundering toward him, yelling excitedly. "Where did you find her? Was it hard to get a deer? Is that why you've been gone so long?" Carol watched as the man pulled up short, waiting until the girl was close before answering. He gave Sophia a twisted little half-smile, bending slightly so she could get a closer look at the doe. "Can I help you?" Sophia asked eagerly. Carol caught Merle's s dumbfounded look as Daryl nodded and motioned for her to follow. He paused briefly, looking to Carol and waited for her assent before striding off with Sophia chattering animatedly at his heels.

Carol bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She meant what she said about lessons learned. Ed had taught her not to take things at face value and she'd taken that to heart. She didn't know what to call the events of the past few days. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that Sophia was happy and well. Everything else, even Merle Dixon's wrath, came in a distant second.

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Sophia looked on as Daryl hung the deer by its hind legs and started peeling off the hide. He worked swiftly wielding his knife as an extension of his arm. "That will keep us in meat for a while," she observed as she walked in a slow circle around the deer, examining it from every angle. He grunted in acknowledgement, his attention focused on his task. Sophia bit her lip, hesitant to broach the subject but her need to know outweighed her reluctance. "I think my mom and Merle were arguing," she confided. "I've never heard her talk that way. She was mad."

Daryl stopped, his eyes narrowed as he studied the girl. "What was they arguing about, Sophia?"

There it was…the right question but she didn't want to tell him because she didn't want him to make him mad. "I don't think he likes us very much. He told mama that she was barking up the wrong tree."

Daryl gaped before he caught himself. What the hell? "And what did your mama say?" He couldn't help but ask even though it sent brought an unwelcome heat to his face.

She looked him right in the eye as she unconsciously mimicked her mother's careful tones. "He's a grown man who's perfectly capable of deciding what he wants to do and who he wants to do it with." She gave a funny little shrug before looking at where her shoe traced a line in the dirt. "He looked mad when she said it. He said that Dixons ain't no nursemaids." Again, her voice changed, becoming rougher and with a slight drawl that thickened the words, making them curl at the ends. Her troubled gaze flicked up before darting away just as quickly. "He doesn't like you being around me and my mama. I don't understand. What did we ever do to him?"

He let out a long, low sigh as he bent back to the deer in a feeble attempt to buy some time. Fuck. Fuck the whole thing. He should have expected something like this when Merle volunteered to keep an eye on them so that he could go hunting. It was stupid of him to lose his shit when Merle goaded him about showing Carol what a real man looked like. It was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. "That's just Merle being Merle. Don't pay him no mind. You didn't do nothing to him."

"Well then that makes Merle an asshole," Sophia growled.

An unbidden huff of laughter escaped Daryl but he managed to keep his expression blank as he eyed the girl. "Shouldn't say stuff like that," he observed. "Your mama would have a fit."

"No she wouldn't," Sophia asserted. "Mama cusses when she thinks I can't hear her. Besides, she told me that I should always tell the truth no matter what. The truth is that Merle is an asshole."

He couldn't hold back the laughter this time so he didn't try. It felt good, damned if it didn't, to let loose for a change. Daryl laughed harder when the girl looked at him in stunned surprise. She gawked at him like she'd never seen him before and then let a tiny smile out. "Merle is a class A asshole," Daryl agreed, telltale signs of laughter still coloring his voice. "But he's my brother so that means he's gonna be around for a while. Think you can look over him if he starts acting stupid again?"

"I think he doesn't have to act too much," Sophia grumbled under her breath. "I'll be nice but he shouldn't have words with my mama. She's had to put up with enough of that from my dad. She don't need to hear it from him."

Daryl nodded slowly. "You're right," he sat down, facing her as he rested his arms on his upturned knees. "I'm sorry about that. He won't bother her again. I'll fix it." He inclined his head toward her to emphasize his intent. "I'll fix it," he repeated.

The girl's shoulders relaxed, a soft smile lighting up her face. "Better get back to that," she gestured toward the deer. "It'll be good to have for supper later on."

Daryl took it for what it was a compact of sorts to make the best of a bad situation and to move past it. He rolled to his feet and palmed his knife. "You got yours on you." He waited for her nod and then waved her over. "Come on then. It'll go faster with two of us."

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The mood in the camp was festive. The Harrison sisters took to the lake and came back with a stringer of bass and blue gill that rivaled the best catch he and Merle had ever landed. Carol and Jacqui took charge of the fish while Andrea and Amy cleaned up the reels, trading good-natured jibes with Dale about the state of his fishing equipment. When Daryl and Sophia appeared with thick cuts of venison, delighted shouts greeted them. Sophia proudly presented her part to her mother, babbling a mile a minute about the doe and how she'd helped.

He suffered their attention in silence, giving his usual noncommittal grunts and nods to the others well meaning thanks. He felt Merle's eyes on him, watching and weighing from his perch over by the RV. Daryl bit back the urge to toss the meat down without a word and take off. Instead, he walked slowly to the ad hoc kitchen and stood there until she looked up. She smiled warmly by way of greeting, reaching to take the haunch of meat from him. Their fingers met, an unfamiliar spark of awareness firing his nerves to a fever pitch. Her hands were cool, slight and strong despite their delicate appearance. His, rough and calloused from years of hunting, twitched at the brief contact, the tremor barely noticeable unless you were paying attention. Carol's smile faltered but she immediately rebounded, brushing her thumb across the thin skin of his wrist before she turned away.

"Save some of it," he called after her. "We'll make up a run of jerky. It'll keep longer and we'll have rations when the canned goods start running short."

She spun toward him, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "That's a good idea. I've made it before but always used an oven. Are we going to do this the old-fashioned way?"

He smirked, folding his arms across his chest to have something to do with his hands. "Unless Dale's got one of those tucked away in that RV, it'll have to be the old way. Just let me know when you're ready and I'll get the racks and stuff together." This time, he was the one that turned away first. It was hard enough to face her without the rest of the group eyeing them in interest. It was worse knowing that Merle was there, taking in every word and storing it up for later use. Daryl hazarded a glance in his brother's direction and wasn't surprised to find Merle staring back with an oddly blank expression. Daryl paused, expecting his brother to follow if only to drive the point home that he wouldn't tolerate Daryl's bullshit any longer. He watched as Merle's eyes flickered to the women and stayed, and couldn't help but follow his gaze.

Carol stood slightly apart, her attention clearly on the two brothers. Her chin lifted challengingly as she met Merle stare for stare. Her gaze shifted to Daryl and she smiled again, this one a replica of the one her daughter often sported. He felt his cheeks burn but couldn't look away. He didn't know what it was about this woman but she got to him in spite of himself. She saw him. She looked at him like he was a person worth knowing. He wasn't ready to let that go…not even if he had to put up with Merle's special brand of bullshit because of it. With that realization, he found himself smiling back and looking her right in the eye without a care about who might see it. He didn't care anymore. Fuck them if they didn't like it.

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The back road was largely clear with none of the traffic snarls that clogged the larger highways. He could have made good time had he done what that fucking cop and piece of shit redneck had told him to. Ed Peletier wasn't anybody's bitch. He did what he wanted and to hell with anybody who thought they could change that. He drove away from the quarry camp with only one thought in mind. He was going to show those two assholes what it meant to cross him and then he would take back what was his. That bitch would learn the hard way that she belonged to him. After he took care of business, he would get Carol and Sophia and head for Tennessee. He had family in Rutledge who would take them in.

Carol would come along willingly enough with the right bait. He planned his move as he cut cross-country to avoid the interstates and bigger roadways. After a couple of hours, he made the turn on to the rutted path that would take him to the quarry via a back way that only someone who grew up in the area would know about. It would be easy enough to sneak back in and bide his time until Dixon took Sophia out with him again. Either that or the Grimes boy would go off on his own and the girl would follow. That would give him the chance he needed. If she was with the redneck, Ed would take great pleasure in slitting the bastard's throat before taking the girl. If he caught the two kids on their own that was even better. He just had to be patient a little while longer.