A/N: Just a heads up guys, this chapter has some serious feels. You've been warned. Please review :)

She convinces Roy to let her have some wine that night. They sneak one of Felicity's red's up to Thea's bedroom and Roy puts on Pandora, hooking her phone up to the speakers.

She stretches out on her bed with him while they drink, taking comfort in the way he rubs her shoulder.

The wine does its work. Her mind goes blissfully blank and she starts to relax under his hand.

"You're tense," he comments, digging his thumb into the side of her shoulder. "You need to loosen up."

Roy takes her glass and pulls her down on her stomach. He pushes the hem of her shirt up and starts at the small of her back, working the muscles with his hands until they soften under him.

Thea sighs into the bedspread, letting her eyes fall shut. How could she forget this, the blissful mind-numbing effect of his hands on her skin? The way he makes it all go away.

He works up her back until his hand is wrapped around her neck, loosening knots she didn't know she had. Thea flips over onto her back, pulling her top over her head.

"Other side now," she says cheekily, watching his gaze darken as he stares at her chest.

"Yeah?" Roy asks, kind of breathless, fingers finding her waist.

She nods. "Definitely."

She needs this, needs him. This week has been so crazy. Robins, Vertigo, Ollie never letting her out of his sight. She needs time with Roy, time to remember who she is. When she's with him she doesn't feel the burden of being Thea Queen, daughter of Malcolm Merlyn.

She doesn't feel the bad things anymore. She doesn't feel what they did to her.

Roy makes her strong.

His hands graze her stomach and she inhales sharply, the muscles jumping under his touch.

"Relax," he murmurs, leaning down for a kiss.

She sighs into his mouth as he cups her right breast through purple lace. His thumb finds her nipple and she moans softly as heat spreads through her body.

"Feel good?" he says teasingly, switching sides.

"Mmm." Thea stretches languidly beneath him as his hand reaches down to knead her thigh, slides up to cup her hip.

He looks at her questioningly as his fingers play with the edge of her thong and she nods, giving him permission. His hand slips underneath the fabric and she bites back a moan at the delicious feel of him cupping her in his hand.

Roy teases her apart slowly, making her shiver. His index finger finds her clit and he rubs, making her moan, feet flat on the bed. He kisses her neck, her throat, her collarbone, pressing circles onto her until she's breathless, arching under him.

"More?" Roy questions.

She nods, letting her knees fall open. He slides a finger into her and her breath catches in her chest.

"Okay?" Roy asks, and she loves him for it, the way he knows her body better than she does.

Thea reaches up and clutches his arm, trying to breathe through the tight feeling in her chest.

"Thea?"

"Yeah," she whispers, and rocks her hips. "I'm okay."

She keeps her eyes wide open so she can look at him, so she doesn't forget where she is, who's touching her.

He waits for her to relax, until he hears that whine for more in the back of her throat, and adds a second finger. She breathes hard and his fingers twist-

It goes black.

She's gone, she can't see, can't move, can't do anything but feel a stranger's hand pulling her apart-

Someone says her name over and over. Thea, Thea, Thea.

She knows that voice, she knows it and she gasps, her eyes flying open. Roy.

"What happened?" She's sitting up, her face cupped in his hands.

She doesn't remember this. She doesn't remember how she got here.

"Oh thank god," Roy heaves, collapsing over her so she's cradled against his chest.

"Roy, what happened?" Her voice comes out shaky. She feels sick, like something really bad happened.

"I don't know. You were fine, and then you just went catatonic. For a second I thought you were dead."

Thea reaches for her top with shaking fingers. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"Thea." Roy's hand clamps down on her arm. "You have to tell me what happened that night."

"Nothing happened," she says automatically, shifting out of his arms to pull her top on.

"You're lying to me," he says, the hurt in his voice evident.

"I don't want to talk about this," she snaps. "Why do you keep asking me?"

"Because something's obviously wrong with you," he says hotly. "Look at you. You won't even let me touch you."

"I'm sorry," she says again, dangerously close to tears.

"I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to be honest with me. I thought we weren't keeping secrets from each other anymore!"

"Look, I can't, okay?"

He backs up, his face suddenly going pale. "Why not?"

Thea swallows, feeling nauseous. "I just can't."

"Thea," he says softly, taking her hand. "I love you. You can tell me anything. Please."

"I can't," she cries. "I'm sorry. I want to but I can't."

"Thea," he whispers. "Thea did they...were you ra-"

"No," she says fiercely, gripping his shoulders. "No."

His eyes slam close. "Did they touch you?"

"Roy-"

"Thea. Did. They. Touch you."

She looks away but she can't stop the tears from falling. She doesn't even have to say yes.

"No," Roy says hoarsely, jumping off the bed. "No."

"Roy-"

"Fuck," he gasps. He picks up an empty wine glass and hurls it against the wall, where it shatters into pieces.

"Roy," she shrieks.

"I asked you," he yells. "I asked you if you were hurt and you said no!"

"Roy, please; stop."

"Oh my god." He paces back and forth in front of her bed. "I knew there was something off about the mission. I knew it. I should have stopped you, why didn't I stop you?"

"It wasn't your fault. I should have listened to you, I should have told Ollie no. I thought... I thought was stronger but I wasn't. It was my fault."

"Don't." Roy holds a hand up. "Don't ever say that."

Thea sniffs, wiping her eyes as Roy wears a hole in her floor, a blank look in his eye.

"Roy," she says brokenly. "Please don't be mad."

Roy shakes his head. "Don't ask that of me right now."

"Roy-"

"How could you not tell me?" he asks heatedly.

"I'm sorry," she whimpers.

"You lied to me!"

"I know, I'm sorry." Thea starts to cry again, holding her forehead against the palm of her hand.

"Thea, I'm your boyfriend. If you get hurt you're supposed to tell me. I'm supposed to take care of you."

"I know," she cries, "I'm so sorry."

"Thea, are you okay?" They both jump when Ollie comes in without knocking. "I thought I heard something break..."

He trails off, taking in Thea, sobbing on the bed, knees to her chest, and Roy, fuming in front of her.

"What's wrong?" he asks sharply. "Why are you crying?"

Thea shakes her head, covering her face as she sobs.

"Oh my god," Roy says faintly. "He doesn't know, does he?"

"Know what?" Ollie asks.

"Roy, stop," Thea begs. "Please."

"You are unbelievable," he shouts. "You're protecting him, aren't you? You don't want him to know because you know what he'd do!"

"Stop," she screams. "Stop it!"

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Ollie yells.

"She's a liar," Roy says angrily. "She's been lying to us all week!"

Oliver frowns. "Thea, what is he talking about?"

"Nothing!"

"Thea," Roy yells. "You have to tell him!"

"No," she yells back. "This is none of your businesses-"

"None of my business? Thea, I'm your boyfriend. He's your brother. We love you."

"Stop," she begs. "Please. I'm okay."

"You're not okay!" he argues. "Are you that big of a martyr that you can't even see that?"

"Please," she whispers brokenly. "I can't do this."

"Thea." He drops to his knees in front of her. "If you don't tell him, I will."

"Don't you dare." She shoves him, hard, and Ollie jumps in between them even as she claws at him to let her go.

"Why is everyone yelling?" Felicity comes into the room and stops short when she sees Thea and Roy being pushed apart by Oliver.

"Can you please get Thea out of here?" Oliver asks her.

"No!" Thea shrieks. "Please."

"I have to tell him," he chokes out, his eyes glassy. "I'm sorry, I have to."

Thea lunges for him and gets caught by Ollie, who pushes her into Felicity's arms.

"Don't," she pleads, fighting to get out of Felicity's grasp. "Roy, please don't."

"They hurt you!" he cries, pulling at his hair. "Oh god, Thea, I have to tell him."

"No!" she screams. "You can't, you know what he'll do! You know what will happen."

"Roy," Oliver yells, snapping his fingers to get his attention. "Roy, talk to me."

Thea wails. "Please don't, I don't want him to know, please."

Roy gasps, panicked, his hands clenching into fists.

"Roy," Oliver says warningly.

"I have to hit something," Roy says frantically.

"Roy, listen to me," Ollie says. "Just calm down-"

"I can't," Roy screams. He's shaking, his whole body vibrating in rage. "I have to get it out, I have to hit something!"

"Stay with me, Roy," Oliver says, one hand reaching out to him. "It's the anger talking, this isn't you."

Roy shakes his head, his eyes glazing over.

Thea know that face. It's the face he makes right before he hits something.

"You don't understand," Roy yells. "You don't know what they did to her!"

"Okay," Ollie says. "It's okay." He plants his feet in front of Roy. "Hit me."

"Oliver," Felicity says sharply, and he shoot her a look that clearly says I've got this.

"Come on, then," Oliver says calmly. "Hit me."

Roy chokes on a sob and swings wildly. Even Thea can see it's a bad punch, all feeling and no technique. Her brother dodges it easily, catching Roy's wrist and spinning so he has Roy pinned in a hug.

Roy crumples into Ollie, sobbing.

"It's okay," Ollie says gently, holding Roy up against him as he cries, hand firm on his shoulder. "It's okay, let it out."

"Come on," Felicity whispers to her. "Let's give the boys some space."

xxx

Felicity takes Thea to her and Oliver's room. Thea collapses in their bed and Felicity guides her head to her lap, strokes her hair.

"Shh," she says. "It's going to be okay."

"He's so mad," Thea cries. "He's so mad at me."

"He's not mad at you. He's just mad."

"It's all my fault."

"Hey." Felicity pulls her up and cups her cheek. "None of this is your fault."

Thea crumples. This is Sara all over again. All her fault. All her fucking fault.

"Ollie's gonna freak out, "Thea sobs.

Felicity sighs. "I'll handle Oliver, okay? Don't worry about him."

"What am I going to do?" she wails.

"Just breathe," Felicity says calmly, rubbing her back. "We'll get through it."

"Oh god," Thea says. "You're getting married in three days and you're dealing with this. I'm so sorry, Felicity."

"Hey, it wouldn't be us without some last minute drama, right?" Felicity jokes weakly.

Thea just cries harder.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Felicity strokes her hair.

"I'm sorry," she cries. Sorry she couldn't tell the truth, sorry her actions have caused a bomb to go off. "I thought...I thought...it would be better this way."

"Thea..." Felicity sighs, biting her lip. "I know that after Sara, you may have... developed this idea that you're a bad person. Like maybe you deserve to be in pain. And that's just not true."

Thea covers her face, crying into her hands.

"Look at me, Thea."

Felicity peels Thea's hands off her face, forcing her to look at the older girl, a serious look on her face.

"If you are in pain, and you don't say anything, then we don't know that you're hurting. And if we don't know, we can't help you. Does that make sense?"

Thea nods stiffly. "Yeah."

"You have a voice," Felicity says gently. "You have to use it."

xxx

By the time Ollie comes into the room Thea thinks she has no tears left to cry, but when she sees the look on his face she starts to bawl.

He looks devastated.

Her brother kneels at the foot of the bed, his eyes watery and red.

"Thea," he whispers, and opens his arms. "Come here."

She falls into her brother and he catches her.

He'll always catch her.

"I'm so sorry," Ollie whispers, rocking her in his arms. "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry."

"No," she cries, burying her face in his shirt. "I thought I was stronger, it was my fault."

"No," he argues. "I should never have sent you out there. What happens to you in the field is my responsibility."

"Oh for the love of God," Felicity mutters. "It's no one's fault!"

"Where's Roy?" Thea asks Ollie.

"He's taking a walk. He needed to cool down."

She sniffs, trying to slow her tears. "Is he coming back?"

"Oh, Thea," Ollie whispers, kissing her hair. "Of course he's coming back."

"I didn't want him to know," Thea mumbles. "I didn't want to hurt him."

I swear, the Queen gene carries a serious martyr complex," Felicity fumes. "You two seriously need to get better at asking for help or we're going to have to put that therapist on retainer."

Thea lets out a teary little laugh and Ollie shakes his head.

"Come here," he says, reaching out for Felicity. She slips under his arm, snuggling up next to Thea.

"I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating," Felicity says. "We're a family. Families don't keep secrets."

"You're so not a Queen," Thea laughs. "All we're good for is keeping secrets."

"Hey." Felicity pokes them both in the chest. "In three days I will be, and I'm making it a family rule. No more secrets." She raises an eyebrow at Thea. "No matter what."

Thea looks up at Ollie, who is staring at Felicity with an odd look on his face, like he doesn't quite know what to say to that.

"Okay," Thea promises. "No more secrets."

That night she falls asleep sandwiched between Ollie and Felicity in their bed, safe between her big brother and sister.