She was so immersed in thought that she didn't realize the door from the main office open and Snape walk inside. The door closed with a slight thud and only then did she glance up out of her thoughts as Snape sat down at the smaller study desk across the room from her.
Hermione watched him for a few moments, praying he would say something, anything. She couldn't bear this silence...it scared her somehow. After what she'd seen, she had at least hoped Snape would have something to say to her. But despite her wishes, Snape showed no signs of speaking up anytime soon so she just looked back down at the inside of her mug, moving her finger subconsciously around the rim of it's porcelain surface.
After a while, Snape got up and walked briskly past her to the fireplace where he stooped to move another log. Hermione watched him out of the corners of her eyes as he passed by, making no indication she was there. After the fire was moving again, Snape did not go back to his desk, but stood quite still again, seeming to be staring into the hearth.
"About last night..." he started.
"I have no regrets," Hermione interjected, cutting him off, "if that's what this is about." She'd spoken very quietly but knew he'd heard her because she noticed a slight nod of the head.
"Neither do I," said Snape just as quietly. "Neither do I..."
Hermione waited again, having a feeling this conversation had not ended in the slightest, thumbing the edges of her mug subconsciously.
"Why didn't you tell anyone," she dared to ask suddenly, not looking up and continuing to stare into her tea. A million questions were racing through her mind that she wanted answered, but this one seemed to be the one that had nagged her all night after getting out of the Pensive.
"Do you honestly think that anyone would have believed me," he inquired harshly, not turning around.
"I believe you."
"Only after you witnessed it for yourself..."
Hermione had no response to that. It was true, in its entirety. She probably would not have believed him if she hadn't first seen it with her own eyes. But that was beside the point; perhaps if Snape had told someone it could have helped Harry destroy Voldemort quicker.
He seemed to sense what she was thinking because he stiffened as he spoke. "He never would have believed me," Snape said with a heavy resentment. Hermione furrowed her brow at him.
"You really don't give him enough credit you know," she said, starting to become slightly angered at him. This, however, did not sit well with Snape either and he spun around and glared at her menacingly.
"Credit? What credit does Potter deserve from me," he spat, his voice rising. Hermione did not falter though. She kept her glare as well; having a feeling this conversation was no longer going to be a quiet one.
"He deserves to know the truth," she shot back just as forcefully.
Silence was all she received as Snape continued to glare at her, finally turning away again giving Hermione the feeling he was trying to avoid looking at her now. She gazed at his back somewhat suspiciously, have a strong feeling there was something he wasn't saying.
But it was forgotten because just as suddenly as he'd turned his back to her, he snapped to attention and stared intently at the door as if he were listening very hard. Hermione's stomach jumped, although she didn't know what was going on, but figured it wasn't anything good.
Snape had put up his hand to ensure her silence as he moved even closer to the door and listened. When he turned to face her, she jumped.
"Get up," he said quickly in a hushed tone as he moved swiftly to where Hermione was sitting and took hold of her arm to pull her up. Now her mind was racing to all of the possibilities of what could be on the other side of the door. And then she heard it; they both did.
Footsteps. Very close footsteps coming towards the door to the sitting room. Hermione didn't know who they belonged to, but she had a pretty good idea that it wasn't anybody she wanted to see if Snape was acting this way about it.
But she didn't have much more time to think about it. She suddenly found herself being backed into the wall next to the hearth by Snape. For a moment she seemed to just be pinned there and wondered what in the world he was doing, but right when the door opened she felt herself go through the wall.
Hermione took in a breath of air as though being submerged in water as she passed through the cold stone, just in time for Lucius Malfoy to make his way into the sitting room.
Snape froze, as did Hermione. She could still see, still hear the scene in front of her, but she knew that they could not see past the wall. Breathing hard out of slight fear and shock, she started to back away from the room that she seemed to no longer be a part of. Subconsciously, she expected to hit another wall. However, that was not so.
Without so much as a warning, she took one last step and found herself falling backwards and down, only hearing Snape's snide remark to Malfoy about the meaning of privacy.
The fall wasn't long, and a small yell emitted from her throat as she landed hard, hearing the unmistakable crunch of wood that must have broken her fall.
"Ouch, that hurt," she muttered to herself, trying to regain her breath as she pushed herself up.
"Her—Hermione?" Came an uncertain, but familiar-sounding voice from the other side of wherever she had just landed. Hermione squinted through some clearing dust until her eyes focused upon the round, confused face of Neville Longbottom.
Relief swept over her aching body, but she ignored the pain as she stood up all the way and moved a little closer to her friend who seemed to be sitting at a table with a sandwich in front of him.
"Neville?" She said, just as confused as he looked. "What are—where am I?"
But Neville only continued to look at her with a curious expression on his plump face. He looked like he needed some serious explaining to happen soon.
"Wh—what are you doing here," he asked quietly, clearly befuddled. "How did you get here?"
Hermione was all ready to answer him when it hit her how bad this was. No one was supposed to know she was in Hogwarts...Snape would be furious if he found out. Not to mention she had no clue how she even got into what she just realized was the Hogwarts kitchen.
"I can't believe you're here," Neville finally said after Hermione didn't answer his question. "Where's Harry?"
This hit Hermione like a blow to the chest; she hadn't thought about Harry for the last day and she had no idea where he was. The thought simply terrified her. But she just shook her head at Neville.
"I don't know, Neville," she said in a small, sad voice. "We were separated..." Neville too looked uneasy at her answer. He, along with loads of other people, had probably expected him back long before now and was disappointed that his location wasn't even known now. Not to mention they were all worried about him. That was just common knowledge these days.
"But then what are you doing here," Neville asked after a moment, sounding a bit skeptical. "You were with him, weren't you?"
Hermione didn't know what to say. She could hardly tell Neville that Snape had supposedly rescued her during the ambush in the forest and now she was hiding out in the Headmaster's quarters.
However, she found she wouldn't have to.
"So this is where you and your little friends come to plot now is it, Longbottom," came Snape's very cold voice from behind them. Hermione breathed in sharply at his sudden arrival and closed her eyes; this would not be pleasant.
Neville's expression changed instantly when he saw the Headmaster emerge from the shadows. "You..." he practically snarled, glaring at Snape with the utmost contempt. Hermione was startled, having only heard Neville sound like this the time he had been face-to-face with Bellatrix Lestrange two years previous. Then he really startled her when he suddenly whipped his wand out, pointing it at Snape who didn't react except for what Hermione was sure was a very ugly expression.
The tension in the room had suddenly become insanely high as the two people on either side of Hermione glared at each other, Neville willing to curse Snape out of the castle and Snape close to explosion-point.
"What are you doing here," Neville spat out of nowhere like venom.
"Neville..." Hermione warned, but it hardly came out as a croak.
"Last time I checked, Longbottom," growled Snape just as venomously, "students do not have it in their power to question their Headmaster..."
"Last time I checked, murdering Death Eaters weren't allowed to become Headmasters," Neville said in a sting. Hermione couldn't believe she was hearing this come out of Neville Longbottom's mouth. This was bad, very bad.
"Why you little—" started Snape in the most murderous tone Hermione had ever heard from even him. She turned around just in time for Snape to pull out his wand and raise it, but she was thankfully, faster.
"Hey, you know what...just stop, ok," she said quietly going over to Snape and putting both hands on his outstretched wand arm. What drove her to do that, to touch him so unexpectantly, she could not began to fathom at the moment, but nonetheless it didn't even phase the man in the slightest.
Teeth bared, Snape was vicious-looking, and would not budge. He hadn't even seemed to notice that someone had touched his arm. Finally, when she applied more pressure, he at last glanced down at his arm where her hands were and then to her pleading face.
Whether the look he now bore was because of what Neville had just said or because she had touched him was unclear, but at least he finally lowered his wand. Hermione let out a small sigh of relief as she turned to Neville again who was now standing there, seeming dumbstruck at what she had just done.
Hermione shook her head sadly at him as if it were some sort of apology or something, or perhaps an explanation.
"What the—" he stammered. "What is going on?"
"Not that it concerns you—" Snape started but Hermione turned on him again and started to push him to move backwards.
"Let's just go, alright," she said in a slightly aggravated tone. Snape said nothing, only grunted in response as he glared at Neville with all the hatred he could possibly muster while surprisingly, allowing Hermione to push him towards where she hoped she saw stairs that would lead back to the study.
"Hermione!" Neville practically yelled after them, as if pleading for an explanation as to what in the world was going on. But all she could think to say was for him not to tell anyone she was there. Neville only nodded, dumbstruck as Hermione was still practically pushing Snape up the stairs and out of sight.
"He shouldn't have said that to you," she said timidly in a small voice when they returned to the study, and she meant it. Another disbelieving grunt was all she got from Snape's end as he swiftly walked into the main office and over to the desk. Hermione followed, unwilling to let this drop just yet.
But Snape was striding away from her, seeming completely un-effected with the fact that Hermione was still attempting to talk to him.
He really can be stubborn when he wants to be...
"Would you stop for just one moment?!" She yelled, furious that he wouldn't at least do her the courtesy of just listening to her.
"You would be well advised to watch your tone, Miss Granger," Snape said through what sounded like tightly gritted teeth. "After that...scene downstairs, you're lucky I don't put you back where I found you."
"Oh really? Well forgive me if I'm incorrect, but I don't think the murder of a student at Hogwarts would be very good for your image. And you would be well advised, as you so call it, to try and be at least the slightest bit civil, sir," she half-yelled at Snape's now rigid back. She assumed it was because of how she had just spoken to him, but she found that in that moment, she didn't really care.
After a long, deadly silence, Snape spun to face her and said, "Have something more to say, do you?"
I most certainly do you—
"Well out with it then," Snape interrupted her thoughts, clearly still very upset.
Letting the breath out she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Hermione shook her head slowly, preparing to speak. But she found nothing escaped her now very dry throat.
Snape sneered at her silence, wearing the unmistakable expression of the phrase, 'that's what I thought...' and with a raised eyebrow, turned away from her again.
She cursed herself internally for losing her words, not to mention her edge. The man was insufferable, and she was slowly seeing just how irritating it was going to be to be around him. But there was something else too; something that Hermione couldn't quite put her finger on but it was there, nonetheless.
"What consequence is it to you what Longbottom says to me," Snape said randomly, startling Hermione out of her thoughts. It took her a moment to register what he'd said and that he had been addressing her.
Finally, coming to her senses, she answered, looking straight at him. "Perhaps this is a shock, Professor, but have you ever thought it possible that people do care about you...no matter how much you try to push them away?"
That hit him like a hippogriff full blast. He hadn't actually expected such a weighty answer out of the young witch's mouth...no matter how clever she may indeed be. Not that he would ever admit that out loud to her, of course. But "care about him?"
No one could possibly care for you, least of all her... He thought to himself bitterly, and then pushing it roughly out of his head as though it were poison, cursing himself for thinking that way of her.
"And you would be one of these people," he mocked, managing to glare at her very hard; the glare he knew to install fear in the hearts of children everywhere...the glare that could hide what he was truly feeling from the rest of the world around him.
He was shocked, however, to find Hermione glaring back at him; one to rival his own—piercing, cold, angry.
When his un-breaking, hateful stare was too much to take anymore, Hermione shook her head and diverted her eyes to the floor where she took deep, steadying breathes to control her anger and frustration.
Wouldn't kill the man to at least listen for once. Stubborn ass...
Snape raised an eyebrow at her thoughts. Realizing he'd read them, she stared up at him startled, then shot him a hateful look.
"Don't do that!" She said with disdain, feeling quite offended that he had just invaded her mind without so much of a warning. A sneering, evil grin appeared on the man's face; not one of happiness by any means, but of pure pleasure of watching her loathe him.
Fearing that she would let her anger burst at any moment and not desiring the consequences for more outbursts at him, she shot one more hateful look in his direction and turned away, stalking out of the office and into the rooms.
When she finally felt able to breathe, she was surprised to hear Snape following her, closing the door behind him. She just closed her eyes, calming herself, knowing that it was only asking for trouble to rise...
"Stubborn as though I may be, Miss Granger," Snape drawled into the darkening room at her back. Now it was Hermione's turn for her muscles to tighten, "you still have no place to speak to me like I was a child."
"Well you damn well are acting like one...and you know it!"
"Keep it up and you will be sorry..." Snape warned, his eyes flashing at her slight accusation.
Hermione quietly scoffed, raising her brow at his statement. She found any fear she might have had was quickly thrown out the window in that moment. "You rescue me then threaten me...however do you manage such a hypocritical accomplishment?"
"Miss Granger," Snape growled warningly. "Do not test me."
"I'm bloody well not afraid of a coward like you," she all but growled, finally turning to look at him, straight in the cold, black eyes.
She hadn't really meant to say it; the words in her mind spilled out of her overly provoked mouth before she even knew what was happening, the results sure to be disastrous.
Snape advanced at her like wildfire. Hermione barely had time to breathe, let alone to reach for her wand as his large hands collided with her shoulders and shoved her roughly into the wall, pinning her there; the stone was solid this time. He was so close to her; she could feel his breath on her face as he practically panted, catching his breath.
"How—dare—you..." he growled in a most deadly tone of voice it gave Hermione a shudder. "How dare you call me coward?" His grip was painfully tight; one hand dangerously close to her throat, the other holding her arm to the cold wall.
This was it; she knew it. She knew it was all over now...he was going to kill her because she'd pushed him too far. Hermione closed her eyes, trying to swallow but found it quite difficult. She was breathing just as hard as he was, but for a different reason.
For a long time, Snape said nothing, only kept her trapped against the wall, seeming to be contemplating what to do with her.
Hermione finally opened her eyes, only to see Snape watching her. Her eyes rested in his own for a few long moments.
It was something he had certainly never felt before: there was a locking sensation there when their eyes both met.
Severus realized that he had never actually looked at her. But now, even as he had her pinned against the wall...the result of his outrage and un-wavering temper...there was something about her that suddenly captured him, forcing him to submit to his working mind.
Hermione finally felt the grip he had on her slacken as she continued to seem to be locked in his gaze, now trapped not only by the wall but also by his stare.
It could have just been the light, but Hermione swore she then saw Severus Snape's eyes soften, if only just a little. The time seemed to move so painfully slow; Hermione almost couldn't bear it.
He was still so close to her, his breath could still be felt close to her jaw line. And then, as if by some force of gravity, he seemed to move inches closer to her, never once allowing his eyes to travel away from hers.
Hermione watched him, confusion probably etched in every line of her face, unsure of what was happening.
Then, as if answering her question, he leaned in and without warning, gently touched his lips to hers. When she did not withdraw, he pushed further, coming in full and complete contact with her mouth.
Hermione was shocked and frankly had far too many emotions to decipher, but she returned the kiss, her free hand that she just remembered she had moving up and resting ever so lightly on his elbow as if to confirm that he was indeed there.
When they finally broke apart, he made to move away from her, indicating that he had not meant for something like that to happen and was worried now he'd upset her. But Hermione reached out and grabbed hold of his robes, pulling him back to her with such force, he crushed up against her it hurt slightly, but she ignored it, taking in his embrace again, this time holding on for dear life as some unknown and buried feeling made itself up to the surface for the first time.
This time when they broke, Hermione did not open her eyes; fearful of what expression he might be holding. Her heart was pounding, her mind racing, unable to hold a clear thought for more than a few seconds. What on Earth just happened? She was stunned at both him and herself, not knowing words to say to fill in the blanks, what had prompted such a gesture between them.
"I think—um..." Hermione started, but she couldn't even complete a sentence in that moment.
"I shall leave you to your thoughts," he whispered slowly in her ear in a tone which she couldn't decipher as she felt a space come between where he had been against her own body. Hermione allowed her eyes to open only after she could hear his footsteps on the other side of the room. She had to say something, anything. She was so confused, but yet knew full well what she'd done at the same time.
"Um...Sir...uh, profess—what do you want me to call..." she finally just gave up with a heavy sigh, not knowing how to address him after such an...exchange.
"Severus," he finished for her.
Hermione looked at him half suspiciously across the room for a moment, as if expecting him to nearly strangle her again after he realized he'd just given her permission to use his given name. Finally though, she just nodded once. With that, Severus returned the nod and moved swiftly up the stairs and out of sight, trying hard to conceal the pleasure in his face.
"What have you just done, man?" Severus asked himself aloud into the darkness. He was quite uncertain of what had just happened down in the sitting room...actually, he was quite unsure of the last couple of days to be exact, but what had just occurred downstairs was beyond anything he'd imagined.
She can't possibly want someone like you, the tiny voice in the back of his mind sneered at him. Just look at yourself! Broken, torn...she surely hates you...after all, look at what you've done...
Severus shook his head to rid it of his subconscious. It was nonsense, all of it. He knew better...all that had been was adrenaline. Besides, he had practically strangled her moments earlier; that was a major factor in his complete disbelief of what had happened.
But it did happen...he had to keep reminding himself of that. And what would tomorrow bring? He already knew that he wouldn't have a clue what to say if they confronted each other...
Would she?
More importantly still, what was she thinking of him now? She clearly hadn't been expecting it...that was certain, but something about the way she returned it made him wonder if she had possibly been ok with the whole situation.
That first time he broke away from her, he knew he should leave as quickly as possible because it had surely been a mistake.
But then she pulled him back.
Severus sighed and lay back on his bed, not even bothering to undress or get under the sheets. He had to think.
His thoughts brought him all the way into what was always promised to be a harsh, restless sleep.