She distractedly glanced up at the clock; it read 10:15PM and she was now at worrying point. At first, she had been upset at him, thinking he just didn't inform her of his plans. But then she told herself that she knew if the man left her a note to tell her to drink a simple potion, he would at least have the courtesy to let her know where he was going to be.
It then occurred to her that perhaps it had not been intentional. Maybe something's happened...she thought, beginning to feel slightly panicked at the thought of something bad happening to him; now that she knew there were feelings there, she couldn't bear to think what she would do if he was hurt...or worse.
He can take care of himself though...he doesn't need me all worried about him and all.
Hermione had to keep reasoning to herself for hours into the night to keep from leaving the office and finding out what was going on.
After several more hours with no sign of Severus at all, Hermione finally told herself that worrying would only make her feel worse, so she tried to push it to the back of her mind at she reluctantly dozed off in the same place as the previous night...only this time, she was alone./
Keep going...keep...going...almost back.
No...just stop here...no one will care...
Hermione will care.
She's probably glad you're gone, you old fool.
She might be worried...
Impossible.
More impossible things have happened...Just get up there...too close to stop now...
You wont make it...too much pain.
It's been worse.
It's been worse... /
Hermione was suddenly jolted awake by what could be called a disturbance in the next room. She sat straight up on the couch, trying to catch her breath as her heart began to race.
Cautiously and quietly, she got up and walked towards the door, straining to hear what was happening on the other side. But she heard nothing.
Trying to control her breathing, Hermione finally decided that she would just steal a quick look into the main office, just to make certain. She slowly turned the door knob and was starting to open the door when it pushed open and she was knocked over by something falling into her...or rather someone...
When she recomposed herself, she looked down at the heap in her arms that was Severus. She swore her heart missed a beat, as all she could do was stare at him. When she finally came to her own senses, she lit the room with her wand and looked down again.
Severus was definitely not ok...a large gash was openly pouring blood down his face, bruises were already starting to form around his eyes and what looked to be everywhere else skin was visible. Hermione couldn't think of anything to do; she was at a loss for words and her arms felt like lead as she just sat there and held him, a tear finding its way down her cheek, spilling onto her trembling hand that held Severus' head.
"Hermione..." came an unfamiliar voice from his mouth. Startled, Hermione looked down. She didn't think the tone of voice he just used was even possible from him. But it had come from his mouth.
He wasn't totally conscious, but he was at least semi-coherent and that made all of the difference to Hermione.
"What happened to you," she finally managed to croak out as she looked down on him, gently pushing the blood-soaked hair away from his face. But he didn't answer. Only a painful groan escaped his throat before he slipped away again, back into unconsciousness.
At least he had made it back to his office.
And more importantly, back into her arms.
--
"How are you feeling," Hermione asked when she finally noticed his eyes give a little twitch before opening partially.
It took Severus a few moments to realize where he was, who was talking, and why there was such a horrible pain in his head.
Him.
It had been a long time since the Dark Lord had punished him that bad for a failure of orders, but he supposed to himself that at least those who hated him at the school could take more pleasure in his pain now...except for now, there was Hermione. He knew she would be worried about him...that was probably what had willed him to get up that staircase in the first place. Had she not been a part of him now, he had a good feeling giving up would have been the first choice.
"Hermione..." he managed to croak out again. Hermione could only smile down sadly at him, pushing away more hair from his face.
There was no denying that she was relieved to see him at least awake now. She had not left his side for the past day now as she hoped and prayed that something would help him out of this...and it did.
Severus remembered the question after a time of silence, "I've been better, I suppose," he said groggily, moving his head to the side and looking away before his eyes moved back up to hers.
Hermione didn't know what to say to him. Her mind was running at a ridiculously fast pace. The fact was that she had somehow felt that something had indeed gone wrong when he had not returned. All of those hours she paced the rooms, knowing simple business was not what kept the man from coming back. It gave her a feeling she had not yet experienced to know that now she did care. And so did he.
She was pushed out of her thoughts by Severus' attempt to rise.
"Where are you going?" she said, startled that he could even move.
Severus did his best to not let a painful groan escape his throat and he held his breath as every nerve in his body screamed at him to stay put. But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't. He also knew that Hermione wouldn't understand and so he chose not to answer, which was probably stupid on his part, but he ignored every protesting feeling and pushed on to get up out of his bed.
"Hey," Hermione said a little more forcefully when Severus did not answer her and continued to rise from the bed. He only glanced partially with one eye; brow slightly raised, but still said nothing.
"You can't leave!" She continued. "You're hurt, are you insane? Where are you going?" She repeated, feeling a bit frantic now.
Severus heaved a sigh, mostly to relieve the screaming pain, and poised himself on the edge of the mattress, ready to stand up. He, of course, knew he'd have a hard time of it with Hermione right there.
Without looking at her, he finally answered, "You wouldn't understand." Hermione gave him an incredulous look. "It's complicated," he added when he caught her half glare, half startled and scandalized look.
But this did little to calm Hermione in the least.
"Complicated? Really..." She said in a decisive sounding yet deadly tone, which certainly caught his attention. "And you think I wouldn't understand...complicated, do you...?
"Well, let me tell you something Severus Snape," she said, suddenly getting in his face, pointing a finger at him. "I understand complicated very well, I'd say, seeing as for the past five months I have been only God knows where, running from the ministry and Death Eaters, and as if that isn't enough, I don't think anything says complicated better than what is happening between us right now."
She had not meant to say it, but it flew out of her mouth uncontrollably and now all she could do was inhale quickly, surprised at her own idiotic choice of topic change.
Severus' raised brow became more pronounced at her statement and slight outburst. He had expected it, yes, but he hadn't thought she would bring anything up about them and now he was backed into a corner.
Hermione waited in tentative silence, praying Severus would be the first to speak.
"You find this complicated?" He finally said, breaking the silence between them, not taking his eyes from hers.
Hermione just held his eyes for a few moments, a slightly confused look in her own eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so she just gave a series of the smallest of nods, wondering where this would take them.
A thoughtful look graced Severus' face at her confirmation. He too found the subject of "them" a complicated affair, but he obviously had had no experience in this particular field of life and had no clue of how to go about discussing it.
All had been forgotten about his leaving; now every thought encircled the two of them, their confused minds, and the unanswered question of what lay ahead.
Hermione had been able to successfully keep Severus from leaving for at least the remainder of the night. She had refused herself departure in the fear that he might get out when she wasn't around.
Severus, never one to actually fall asleep, knew she was sitting there through the layers of light sleep, right next to him. Opening his eyes a fraction of an inch, he noticed her hand lying limply on the mattress next to him. Looking up with one eye, he saw her head hanging slightly, telling him that she had finally fallen asleep.
Although it caused him a great deal of pain to do so, Severus made his hand move up to hers, covering it. He breathed in at the touch of her soft skin, closing his eyes once again, feeling more comforted now.
Slightly, Hermione's fingers twitched under his and he opened an eye again. Her eyes were still closed, but her expression had changed from deep sleep to semi-consciousness and wondering, then to understanding and ease. Closing his eyes, he settled back into sleep again with a slight grin on his face.
Hermione felt him touch her hand and was barely wakened by it but somewhere within her consciousness, she did feel it. She was slightly surprised; Severus didn't seem the type to just openly give affection, no matter how small and subtle it was.
But the way he kissed you the other night...
Hermione smiled to herself and finally allowed her eyes to open, squinting a little at the light that poured into them from the opposite window. Her gaze fell onto him, just lying there, looking so peaceful.
He really does look so much younger without trying to be so angry, she thought as she just simply watched him for a time, allowing her mind to wander, thinking of things like what would come of all of this? And would it even last?
Finally, after a time, Hermione reluctantly disengaged her hand from underneath his, quietly stood up, and made her way to the door. After taking one final glance at the still-sleeping man across the room, she smiled slightly and left.
She went downstairs, fully intending on finding some breakfast because she was starting to feel sick from lack of food. After pacing the room a good portion of the night, she never pushed aside worry for hunger satisfaction and had been occupied with keeping Severus from escaping for the remainder of the night.
She found getting something to eat proved difficult however, because she saw no safe way to go down into the kitchens without the risk of someone being there other than the house elves.
Finally, she just decided she would be very cautious and go down there, make sure the coast was clear, and get her breakfast and be out quickly.
Slowly, Hermione began to run her hands along the wall where she thought she remembered the stairs to be. It didn't take long before instead of running over it, her hands fell through the wall and she took a step forward and found herself once again in the secret passageway to the kitchens.
At the bottom of the stairs, Hermione could see the elves bustling away, but no sign of anything human and so with relief, she descended the remainder of the stairs and stepped into the kitchen, rich with its smell of breakfast.
She found where the extra portions were sitting on a table up against the opposite wall and picked up a few things before going back upstairs, immensely thankful for the elves' tendency to make much more food than needed.
"Where have you been," Severus asked, startling her as she came back into the room and found him already up and sitting in an armchair, an only half irritated look on his face.
"How did you get down here...alone?" Hermione asked, jumping when he addressed her. I was only gone a few minutes! God, even injured he's fast!
Severus only rolled his eyes in response as if it were an easy feat to accomplish after almost dying.
"I believe I asked you a question," he countered, not sounding upset, but to her surprise, slightly worried.
"Oh, did you miss me," she asked jokingly, setting down the food she was holding and crossing her arms, grinning slightly.
"No."
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"I thought maybe you..." Oh just tell her... "I thought maybe you left," he finished a little more quickly than probably intended.
Hermione wasn't sure of what to say to that. He had been worried that she'd left? What did that mean? She studied him, watching his facial expression, trying to find something...some hint, a detection of his true feelings. But he only looked at her, his expression screaming the truth.
She sighed as he finally looked away, seeming to find the fabric on the chair very interesting.
That was a sure way to her heart...she probably thinks you the most idiotic person she's ever met now! What is she doing to me? Since when do you care about where she goes?
Well that's obvious. You care for her.
Severus looked sideways at her when she approached him but didn't look up all the way. He was slightly embarrassed with himself, not that he would admit that though...but still, he never dealt with things like this before, let alone with women.
Timidly, Hermione stood next to his chair and looked at him with an intense gaze, still trying to figure him out. She had many things that she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure how to get them out. For what seemed like ages, there was silence between them and neither of them moved, each afraid of what the other was going to say.
"Did you mean it," Hermione finally said, breaking the silence. Severus didn't move except for a nod of the head as he stared straight ahead, unwilling to look up at her, afraid of what her eyes would tell him.
He could hear how her voice demanded an answer, but yet remained calm, only wanting him to be straight with her...that much he could at least feel.
And he wanted to be...the trouble only was, he didn't really know how what with being a spy for the majority of his life and constantly having to be untruthful with most everyone he came in contact with.
Albus had been the only one who knew your sad truth...he thought with venomous regret, shaking his head slightly to himself.
And now...now he was beginning to be truthful with the "insufferable know-it-all" who was seeming to slowly become more than that...more than what he had always seen her. Or rather, hadn't seen her. But it was definitely a new light, and even though he wanted to see it, he was having a hard time figuring out how to do just that.
Of course, the fact remained now that Hermione was waiting for an answer...or answers even. Some, which he could unfortunately not give her right away for the reality that he didn't seem to know them either.
Severus then jumped slightly when a light touch was felt on his right forearm. He glanced down with only his eyes, surprised to find Hermione's hand there. He didn't know what to do; he looked towards her more with a slight turn of the head, watching her crouched down next the chair, watching her hand there on his arm in a comforting way.
Hermione looked up sadly at him, unknowing of what was driving her to touch him like that, but something inside told her he probably was in need of some comfort, as he looked to be fighting an unseen battle, an internal war raging inside of himself.
Slowly, as if by some unseen force, Severus' hand seemed to make its way to Hermione's face, touching her cheek lightly. His face was unreadable; simply looking at her face, seeing how the pitying expression had not left it, despite how he had just touched her.
It was in this moment that Severus actually realized something: feelings had somehow seemed to develop for this girl...woman before him. Since when had she been anything more than the bushy-haired know-it-all that seemed attached to Potter and Weasley by the hip, he wondered to himself.
And he was quite sure she was returning these feelings.
Hermione watched him, a slightly sad look set upon her face as she watched the man struggle with every internal feeling it seemed possible. She never let her eyes leave his when he finally looked up and did nothing but blink when he touched her face knowing it must have put him slightly at ease because she watched his face soften ever so slightly
Slowly, she stood up, Severus' hand hanging there for a moment in the air at the place where her face had just been. He stared down as Hermione rose to her feet and then put out a knowing hand for him to take to get up as well.
It seemed an eternity that Severus stared at it. Hermione still didn't know what she was doing, it just seemed...right.
Severus finally took her dainty hand, decisively, finalizing it all, allowing her to pull him to his feet which he did whilst trying to stifle a groan of pain. He failed miserably and fell back down to his seat. Hermione was still hanging on, and unfortunately for bad positioning, fell with him and landed right on his most aggravating injuries.
Bright side, Severus thought to himself, she's close to you again...
"I'll go get you a pain potion," Hermione barely whispered out, for she had lost her breath in falling to close to him. They were only inches apart from each other's faces; breaths could be felt on both sides, their stomachs were suddenly filled with a whole bunch of butterflies.
Severus could barely speak either and found that his protest for a painkiller came too late as she was already away from him and through the door to the main office.
Wincing and holding his breath, Severus got up and followed her, suppressing every feeling in his body, determined to not let it bother him. The only thing he hated more than anything else was a pain potion. He did not want to be viewed as...soft.
"What are you doing," Hermione all but scolded when she heard him enter the room. "You shouldn't be walking around!"
Any other time, Severus knew if that came out of someone's mouth, he would immediately come down on them for disrespect...he certainly would not be spoken to like a child. But he found that while looking at Hermione and that she was obviously very worried, he said nothing.
Almost instantly, she was in front of him guiding him into his desk chair, obviously feeling it would be too far to get back to the living quarters right at that moment.
Feeling like his dignity was starting to slip away, nonetheless he let her lead him to the chair. But what she didn't expect was for him to pull her down with him...on purpose this time.
He didn't care if his whole body screamed in protest, having her close to him was what seemed to matter at that moment and he would re-open every wound he'd ever possessed to hold her like this.
Hermione was shocked to say the least. She was about to protest and perhaps scold him but Severus cut her off by swiftly taking her lips to his own, claiming her once again.
Severus felt her breath in sharply in surprise at his sudden move, but after the initial shock wore away, Hermione shifted so she was closer to him, now practically on his lap completely, and kissed him deeper, her fists balled around the fabric of his robes near his shoulders as so not to fall. She couldn't breathe but that wasn't stopping either of them. There was an urgency coming from the both of them and it only drove them with a passion deeper than ever before; a passion that was seeming to be released after being held back for so long.
Severus was so completely lost in Hermione and the way she was kissing him with such fire, he had almost let his guard down completely, not alerting him to a presence growing closer to the office.
It was too late by the time Minerva's sharp intake of shocked breath reached his ears as the door opened, revealing her shocked face.