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Chapter 3: Readjusting

In a blink of an eye, Goku and Gohan were standing outside of their house in the mountains. The weather was warm with the sun shining and animals running across the yard without a care in the world. It was like the entire episode with Frieza never happened.

Goku took a moment to take in his surroundings. It's been so long. The last time he was home was the day of Master Roshi's reunion. The day Raditz came.

After his long lost brother found him, it's been a whirlwind from being dead, coming back, being in the hospital, to flying off into space. It was almost hard to believe how busy he's been. That reunion with his friends felt like it happened just a few days ago. Who would have believed that a simple reunion would change his life forever?

Gohan broke away from his dad and ran towards the house. "Mom! Mom! You need to get out here!"

The door immediately bust opened and Chi-Chi came running out. She didn't look happy. "Gohan! Where did you go and why are you wearing that outfit!? I had another instructor waiting for you..." She trailed off when she took noticed of Goku standing behind her son.

There was a long silent between them.

Goku wasn't sure what to expect. Was she going to yell at him for being gone for two years? Was she even happy to see him? They didn't exactly part on the best of terms. She blamed him for putting Gohan in danger when the Saiyans attacked and him just leaving without so much as a goodbye to save the others on Namek.

He took full responsibility for leaving so suddenly, but that first part was Piccolo's doing. He didn't even know Gohan was being trained, especially by his old enemy, until Gohan told him. He was certain Kami knew, giving that he was Piccolo's other half, but didn't mention it since he wouldn't have been happy to hear that Piccolo had kidnapped his boy. Gohan was traumatized enough with Raditz. It all worked out for the best, but Kami still should have told him.

"Goku..." Chi-Chi stuttered, not believing her eyes.

Goku smiled. "Hi!" Before he knew it, Chi-Chi crashed into his arms, hugging and kissing him all over.

The sudden rush of emotion took him off-guard. He never completely got used to being touched, being punched and kicked notwithstanding. Chi-Chi, on the other hand, has always been touchy-feely, and when they first got married he tolerated her need to cuddle and kiss him. Over time, he gotten used to and even somewhat enjoyed having Chi-Chi caressed him. It was a good thing too since Gohan was very much like her, loved being held and hugged.

"Goku! Oh, Goku!" Chi-Chi cried as she continued to cuddle him. "When did you get back? Where've you been? Are you hungry? I missed you so much!"

Absently, Goku put an arm around his wife, who was now crying in happiness. A pang of relief shot through his body. Whatever ill will Chi-Chi had towards him when he left was long gone. He supposed absent really does make the heart grow fonder.

Gohan stood in front of his parents, in tears himself over the reunion. It was just as he dreamed it would be.

"Chi-Chi, what's going..." the Ox-King started to say before he caught sight of his long lost son-in-law. "Go...Goku!?"

Goku waved at the bigger man. "Hi. Sorry I didn't tell you ahead of time I was coming."

Despite his size, the Ox-King ran over and enveloped Goku into a big bear hug. "Goku! Welcome home, son!"

Goku smiled. "It's good to be home."

With the entire family reunited after over two years, Chi-Chi cooked her biggest meal to date. She made sure to fixed all of Goku's favorites, which was about everything on the planet except for carrots.

Goku for his part was shocked that Chi-Chi could fix such a big meal so fast, on such short notice, and one made especially for him. It appeared that she's been preparing for this day for a while. Not that he was complaining.

He happily ate the meal with his usual zeal. It's been too long time since he had a home cooked meal. The food on Yardrat didn't hit the spot like Chi-Chi's cooking. He was certain that she had spoiled him.

"Goku, where have you been for so long? I mean, you could've return home when we tried to get you back with the Dragon Balls," Ox-King said.

Goku swallowed his food, remembering how much his wife hated him talking with his mouth full. "Well, there was some stuff I wanted to do. I mean, learning how to teleport really came in handy today."

Ox-King nodded. "Gohan told me. That nasty fellow Frieza came. Although, I thought they said you finished him."

This was a short paused from Goku. "Yeah. He survived our battle on Namek somehow... He wanted revenge on me for beating him." His eyes narrowed and stared at his bowl. "He was going murder everyone on the planet just to get back at me."

Unconsciously Goku squeezed his bowl, shattering it. He jumped from what he did. He didn't know he was applying that much pressure.

"So..sorry," he stuttered. "I guess I don't know my own strength. Been in space too long, I guess."

Gohan gave his dad a concern look.

Chi-Chi sighed as she picked up the pieces of the broken dish. "It's okay, I have plenty. Just try to be more careful."

Goku gave her a look of appreciation for not scolding him.

Chi-Chi returned the gentle look, but he could see the underline worry in her features.

"Well, he's gone now," Ox-King assured, trying to ease the mood. "Things should be quiet for now on without his kind causing a ruckus."

Goku chose to say nothing. Instead, he stared absently at the table.

"Well, I had just about of enough of hearing about this Frieza," Chi-Chi said as threw away the broken bowl. "My family's back and that's what matters most to me."

Goku gave a small sigh, happy that the subject of Frieza has been dropped.

Gohan finished drinking his juice. "You got to tell us more about space, dad. I mean, what were the people on Yardrat like? Was the planet like ours? And..."

"There will be plenty time for questions in the morning," Chi-Chi interrupted. She took a quick glance at Goku. "I'm certain your father is tired from his long trip."

Goku gave a forced smile. "Yeah. We can talk more in the morning. I got plenty of stories to tell."

Gohan looked between his mom and dad before nodding. It seemed that it wasn't just Frieza that made his father upset. What happened in that year? Why did his dad seemed so sad at times? He had his suspicions.

It was probably best not to think about it. He would hate to ruin the sense of peace they finally had after so long.

The rest of the evening was filled with Gohan telling his dad about how his year been since returning to Earth. Most of the stories were rather mundane like him studying, hunting, or hanging out with Icarus, but Goku was surprised to hear about Garlic Jr. returning and turning the people of Earth into his servants by using some dark mist. He was also disturbed that Chi-Chi was so far gone that she actually attempted to murder their son.

Chi-Chi was quite ashamed of her actions, although she remembered none of it.

As the story went on, Goku felt a swell of pride when Gohan told him how he defeated Garlic Jr., with help from Piccolo and Krillin, and sent him back into the Dead Zone, forever this time.

He chuckled about how Krillin had a hot girlfriend for a while and laughed out loud about Chi-Chi throwing Gohan's tutor out the window because he had the nerve to insult him and hit Gohan with a whipping stick. He couldn't helped but be touched that Gohan and Chi-Chi stood up for him, despite his long absent.

"Well, you guys had an interesting year," Goku chuckled as he relaxed in his chair and shifted Gohan on his lap. "Man, too bad I missed Garlic Jr. Would have made things easier if I was around." He smiled at Gohan. "But I'm so proud of you. You saved the world."

Gohan blushed at the high compliment. "I...I didn't do much. Piccolo and Krillin are the real heroes. Without them fooling Garlic Jr. and freeing Kami, I don't think I could had done anything."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short," Goku lightly scowled before rubbing his son's head. "Piccolo and Krillin helped, no doubt about that, but you were the one who sent Garlic Jr. back where he came from. And he was an immortal too, I couldn't had done it better."

This made Gohan blush even deeper.

"You shouldn't encourage him," Chi-Chi scolded in her strict, motherly voice. "I don't want Gohan to get any ideas about fighting. I want my baby to grow up to be a renowned scholar and get a nice high-paying job. Since you don't work, we need him to pay the bills."

"But Chi-Chi, I hunt to provide more than enough for all of us," Goku said.

"Oh no, Goku," Chi-Chi interrupted, she wasn't having it. "I may not be able to stop you from training, but you're not dragging Gohan into anymore of your adventures. Besides, with Frieza gone there should be no more need for fighting."

Goku almost wanted to tell her that she said the same thing about Piccolo, but wisely kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to die his first day back on Earth.

"Still, I see nothing wrong with Gohan doing some light training. He's such a natural that it would be ashamed for it go to waste," Ox-King said, trying to find a middle ground. "And it gives Goku and Gohan the opportunity to spend some quality time together."

"Yeah, mom, I can still study and hang out with dad," Gohan spoke up.

Chi-Chi closed her eyes and said nothing for several seconds. "I'll think about it. But for now, it's way past Gohan's bed time."

"Aw, mom," Gohan groaned, not wanting to go to sleep. He still had so much to tell dad.

"You heard me, young man," Chi-Chi said sternly before smiling. "Besides, you have a full day with your father tomorrow."

Gohan's eyes widened. "You mean..."

"You're getting a day off from your studies," Chi-Chi confirmed.

Gohan jumped off his father's lap and ran towards his mom to hug her. "Thanks mom! You're the best!"

"Now get to bed. You don't want to be tired tomorrow," Chi-Chi said, returning the hug.

Gohan didn't have to be told twice. "Night, mom." His kissed his mother's cheek. He then ran to his father and hugged him. "Night, dad."

Goku petted Gohan's head. "Night, Gohan. I'll see you in the morning."

Once Gohan hugged and said goodnight to his grandfather, he ran to his room. Excited about tomorrow.

Ox-King stretched and gave a loud yawn. "I think I'll turn in too. Been such an eventful day."

"Yeah, I think we're all tired," Goku said as he stood up and stretched his back.

Ox-King got up and made his way to the guest room. "Night, everyone. Sweet dreams."

Within a few minutes, the room was clear except for the young couple. Neither one of them spoke. Instead, they both seemed a lost for words.

"We should turn in too," Goku finally said. "You must be exhausted from cooking so much."

Chi-Chi was silent for moment. "Goku...are you okay?"

Goku blinked at the question. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just...you seemed kinda distance. Like...you're not really here." Chi-Chi struggled to find the right words.

Goku shook his head. "Aw, that's crazy. I'm all here. Maybe just a little tired, but it has been a long trip. Can't tell you how long I was cooped up in that space pod. Don't know how Vegeta was able to travel in those things for almost a year."

Chi-Chi frowned, not believing him. "Goku..."

"I better hit the sack," Goku said, interrupted his wife. "Gohan will want to get started earlier." He made his way to his bedroom, more than ready to call it a night.

Chi-Chi could only looked in concern. What was wrong with her husband?

He was back on Namek. The green sky, the ruined landscape, the smell of death and decay told him as much.

He had returned to that time.

He could see Frieza's twisted face, his eyes filled with anger and hatred as he pointed his finger at him. He saw the flash of light, but lacked the strength to move. Given where the beam was aimed, it would pierce his heart. He was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. At the very least it would be quick.

"Goku!"

He was pushed aside by Piccolo and in less than a second, Piccolo was hit. The blow wasn't immediately fatal, but it was definitely mortal. He wouldn't live past the hour without medical help.

There would be no help.

Piccolo was going to die. With his second death, the Dragon Balls would be gone again along with any chance of reviving their dead friends.

Not that it mattered anymore. With Frieza still around, he would head towards Earth in revenge for all the trouble they caused him. Everyone they knew and love would die by his hand, just as King Kai warned them.

He failed.

Because he couldn't kill this monster, everyone was going to be killed. He used up all his miracles. He had nothing left.

"Find Bulma, take my ship and leave," he remembered telling Gohan and Krillin.

He knew it was a worthless gestured. In his state, Frieza would kill him within seconds. But...he had to do something. Anything! He couldn't just stand there and watched his son and best friend be murdered.

Not when he still drew breath.

"If you think your little friends can escape, you're sadly mistaken," Frieza said with a huge grin on his face. His voice was filled with sadistic delight and he could see the pure evil intent in his eyes.

Goku felt his heart freeze in place.

He knew. Frieza wasn't going kill him, not yet. He wanted him to suffer more. To show him how powerless he was. To hurt him in the worst way imaginable.

Helplessly, he watched Krillin become trapped in Frieza's energy, unable to control his own body. His friend was hovering defenselessly several inches off the ground. The pure panic and terror on his face was forever engraved into his mind.

"This time you won't come back," Frieza vowed before lifting Krillin into the air.

He could still remember Krillin screaming and Gohan's cries of horror.

He pleaded with Frieza. Begged him not to take Krillin's life. To have mercy.

Frieza showed him none.

"GOKU!"

With his name being his dying words, he exploded. Nothing remained of him.

It was like Frieza ripped out his heart and stomped on it before his eyes. His best friend was dead, murdered before his eyes. He screamed his name, begging him for help, but he could do nothing. He let him die.

For the first time in years, he wanted to cry. To fell to his knees and cry in grief and despair. The pain was overwhelming. Even the pain of dying didn't compared to this.

Instead of crying, uncontrollable rage built within his body to the point that it became agonizing.

How dare that bastard do this to Krillin! How dare he murdered his dear friend and laugh!

"I think the boy should be next."

The thought that Gohan, his precious son, would be given such a cruel death did it.

He hated him. He hated Frieza.

For the first time since King Piccolo, he truly hated someone. It was no longer enough for him to beat Frieza. He wanted him to suffer. He wanted to take all the pain and humiliation he caused, and returned it tenfold. He wanted to show Frieza Hell.

That's when he transformed.

He wasn't sure what was happening to him and he didn't care. He was given the power. The power to break Frieza. To crush his spirit and leave his broken body on the planet where he murdered so many innocents. This was a power granted to him by his hatred.

And he made that bastard suffer.

He humiliated Frieza, even allowed him to reach his full power so he knew he was completely defeated. For the first time in his life, Frieza knew what it felt like to be helpless. To be hunted. To have his life at the mercy of another.

And he loved it.

He loved the control, the power, the feeling of being invincible even when the planet threatened to explode on him. He was the strongest in the universe! Even the great Frieza was nothing before him. It was an incredible rush like nothing he felt before or since. He had become a god!

Somehow, he was able to regain some sense of himself. To tame the power that threatened to consumed him. Frieza was finished. He spared his life, but his pride was forever shattered. Until the day he died he would know that he was bested by a Saiyan. That he was no longer the strongest. It was the best Hell he could have giving him.

Then, Frieza had to ruined it.

Instead of running he chose to keep fighting, despite knowing that he lost. The stupid fool. He should have taking his lost graciously and kept some shred of his dignity. He even had the nerve to use such a pitiful attack as his final move.

No….it wasn't just any technique. It was Krillin's, at least a modified version of his throwing disc technique. The bastard actually had the nerve to use his friend's technique to kill him. It pissed him off to new levels.

In the end, though, that last attack did him in. Because of his carelessness, Frieza was little more than pieces scattered across the ground. It was a fitting end. Him dying by his own attack on a planet that he destroyed himself. Made even sweeter that it was Krillin's technique that ended him.

It was the best kind of justice, but...he chose to save him.

Even now, he didn't know why he did it. He knew he should had left. Instead...he took pity on Frieza. No mattered how hard he tried, how hard he attempted to resist, he couldn't turn away from a plea for help. Despite all that Frieza had done, and how much he deserved his fate, he just had to be the better man.

In that moment of compassion, he gave Frieza energy. And in return, Frieza shot it back at him.

He told himself that he did try to kill Frieza then. After he betrayed him, he mercilessly struck Frieza down and left what was left to die with Namek.

But even that was a lie. He held back just enough not to kill him, whether it was consciously or unconsciously. If he'd never helped Frieza to begin with, the exploding Namek would have killed. His acts of mercy nearly cost him.

He should have slaughtered him. Left nothing behind that could be rebuilt. He was too soft. He should have giving in to his Saiyan's nature and ripped Frieza apart.

He was a fool!

"Goku! Goku!"

His eyes shot opened and it took him a moment to remember where he was. He wasn't on Namek or the guest quarters on Yardrat. He was back at his home on Earth.

"Goku?" Chi-Chi asked carefully.

She was frightening. Why was she so scared?

"Chi-Chi?" Goku whispered, regaining his bearings.

"You...you were having a nightmare," she spoke in a worry voice. "You were growling, saying Frieza's name, and...your hair turned blond."

"Oh," Goku muttered, understanding what had happened. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Mom, dad! Is everything alright!?" Gohan yelled as he came dashing into the room. "I felt dad's energy suddenly shoot up! Did something happened!?"

Goku sat up from his bed and forced a smile on his face. "It's nothing, Gohan. Just a little nightmare."

"A nightmare?" Gohan asked, not quite believing his father.

His father had nightmares, although rarely, but he was usually silent and didn't raise his energy so much. For a moment, he thought for sure his dad went Super Saiyan.

Goku got out of bed and put his pants and boots on. He didn't bother to get his shirt. "I need to get some fresh air."

Without another word to his family, he jumped out the window in his bedroom. It was a little chiller, but nothing that he couldn't handle.

He walked some distance from his house so no one could hear him. Once he was sure he was far enough, he took a deep breath and started the training exercises he learned on Yardrat. He found the Yardratians' technique to be especially good for clearing one's mind and relieving stress.

It's been months since he had that nightmare.

No, not a nightmare. A flashback to that day on Namek. The day when he became a Super Saiyan.

Such powerful flashbacks always caused him to unconsciously transform. Thankfully, it wasn't a full transformation. When he was still learning about his ability, it wasn't uncommon for him to turn Super Saiyan in his sleep and start wrecking everything as he relived his battle against Frieza. He hated how many Yardratians he hurt during his fits. He was surprised they tolerated him. It was luck that no one was killed.

For a while, he feared that he wouldn't be able to return home and he worked himself to exhausting learning how to control his new power. He thought he mastered being a Super Saiyan, yet here he was again. Seeing Frieza again really sent him back several steps.

Maybe...it wasn't best to return. Him being unable to control his Super Saiyan form was far worse than Frieza running around.

"Goku?" the soft voice of his wife knocked him out of his thoughts.

"You should go back to bed," Goku said, not turning to face her. "I'll be in soon."

Chi-Chi shook her head. "Goku, what's wrong?"

"It was just a nightmare," Goku said, not stopping his exercises.

"Don't give me that. I've seen you have nightmares before," Chi-Chi said sternly before she calmed down. "This was different. You were different."

Goku stopped his training. "What you saw was me becoming a Super Saiyan. Although I've learned to control it, I still transform when I'm upset."

There was a short silent.

"Is...is that why you didn't want to come home?" Chi-Chi asked.

Goku couldn't look at her. "It...was part of the reason." He looked towards the night's sky. "When I became a Super Saiyan, it's like I became another person. A person filled with rage and hatred who only wants to destroy everything in sight. I didn't trust myself to be around anyone. I feared if I just lost it even once, I would destroy everything. You, Gohan, my friends, this very planet, and even myself." He shook at his own words.

"But you controlled it on Namek, right?" Chi-Chi asked, unnerved by what Goku was telling her. "You saved Gohan and Bulma from Frieza."

Goku shook his head. "The reason why I didn't go after Gohan and the others was because my anger was focused. When I transformed, the only person I wanted to kill was Frieza."

He stopped talking for a moment as he allowed the wind to brushed against his rapidly heating skin.

Chi-Chi waited patiently for her husband to continue, not sure what to say.

Suddenly, Goku growled and his eyes turned blue. "I hate him. No, I despise him. After he murdered Krillin it wasn't enough for me to kill Frieza. I wanted to humiliate him. To tear his pride to shreds and leave him broken. Death was too good for him."

Chi-Chi gasped in horror at what she was hearing. To hear her kindhearted husband who gave mercy to the Demon King talk about hating someone that he saw letting them live as a punishment left her feeling chilled.

"I nearly succeeded. I was going to leave him on Namek a shell of his former self when he attacked me from behind," Goku whispered. His muscles grew bigger and Chi-Chi could see the flash of gold in his hair. "Still, I didn't want to kill him. I didn't want to end his suffering." He slowly sighed, calming himself down and allowed his body to gradually go back to normal. "And then, he cut himself to pieces on his own technique. He was dying. If those wounds didn't finish him, Namek exploding would. I was going to leave him, with the full knowledge that he destroyed himself." He paused and looked back at the sky. "Then...he begged me for his life."

"And you saved him," Chi-Chi said, knowing her husband's character.

"I shouldn't have," he seethed. "Countless others probably begged him for mercy and he killed them without a thought. After what he did to Krillin...he had no right to plea for his life. Yet...I still gave him some of my energy. Enough to get him off of Namek since he could survive in space. As soon as I did it, I regretted it."

Chi-Chi stood silent for a several seconds. "You did what you did because you're a good man. It's against your nature not to help someone in need. Even someone like Frieza."

Goku laughed humorlessly. "That nature nearly got everyone on this world killed today. Vegeta was right about me. I let my softheartedness get the best of me."

"Don't you listen to Vegeta," Chi-Chi stated forcibly. "Maybe it would have been better to leave Frieza to die, but I would rather him live than for you to lose yourself. This Super Saiyan thing doesn't sound like a good thing if it makes you feel so bad inside and fills you with such dark thoughts."

Goku sighed, allowing his eyes to turn back to their normal color. "Being a Super Saiyan is both a blessing and a curse. It gives me the power to protect those I care about. At the same time, it's powered by hate."

Chi-Chi shook her head. "Then don't transform. Frieza and others like him are gone. There's no need for the Super Saiyan anymore."

"I would like to believe that. But I know that the Super Saiyan will be needed again someday," Goku said as he looked at his hands. "I can only hope when that time comes that I can control it better. Especially when Vegeta becomes one."

Chi-Chi gasped. "Oh, Vegeta! If he becomes a Super Saiyan, it would be disastrous! That man is already evil. Him gaining a transformation that enhance negative emotions will only make him worse."

Goku chuckled. "I wouldn't worry. If anything, Vegeta should have an easier time controlling a Super Saiyan since he's always filled with anger. And even if he does goes off the deep end, I'll be here to stop him." He smiled. "I don't intend for my rival to surpass me."

Chi-Chi sighed. "You would see a man trying to kill you as a rival. It was the same with Piccolo."

Goku laughed before breaking into a yawn.

"You're tired," Chi-Chi said as she gently grabbed Goku's arm. "Come on. You need to rest. Don't think anymore about Super Saiyans and Frieza. You're home now and that's all that matters."

Goku looked to his wife and smiled. "Yeah, that's what matters."

They walked back to the house and the rest of the night remained peaceful.

For Goku, it was almost like he had gotten no sleep by the time the sun rose. He was groggy and not up to his usual energy, but he wasn't willing to stay in bed any longer. Not when he had quality time to spend with his son. He had two years worth of memories to make up for.

When asked what he wanted to do, Gohan wanted to fish. Not dive into the water and pull the fish out by hand, but traditional fishing with hooks and lines. He supposed that made sense since he doubted Gohan wanted to train after what happened yesterday.

"It's just like old times," Gohan sighed as he watched his fishing hook bobbed lazily in the water.

Goku smiled and nodded. "Yeah. It has been a long time." Honestly, he couldn't even remember the last time he fished with his son.

"You promised to do this with me," Gohan suddenly said.

Goku gave him a baffled look. "When did I promise that?"

"Before you flew off to fight Vegeta. You promised that when you won, you would take me fishing," Gohan explained, looking a little sad that he had forgotten.

Goku stood silent for several seconds. "Yeah…I remember now. It was…so long ago." He looked at his son. "You remembered the entire time?"

Gohan nodded and stared at the water. "I kept clinging to that promise, reminding myself that you were sure to return because you always kept your promises."

Goku shifted slightly, feeling a little uncomfortable. He knew it had to be asked, no point of tiptoeing around it. "Do you resent me for not coming home sooner?"

His son didn't stop staring at the lake. "A little. I mean, why didn't you want to return when we try to wish you back? You didn't even give a reason. Was learning how to teleport that important to you?"

Goku sighed. "I did think it was important for the reasons I gave. With the Saiyans and on Namek, people died because I wasn't fast enough to save them. With this technique that will never happen again. I can be there to save everyone."

"But that isn't the truth, not completely," Gohan spoke up before looking look at his father. "Dad, you're the greatest fighter in the universe and a genius. I can't believe it took you almost two years to learn any technique."

He got him there. His son was so smart, yet he called him a genius.

"What was the real reason, dad?" Gohan asked.

He knew that there was no point hiding it. Gohan deserved to know the entire truth.

"You're right. It wasn't all about learning Instant Transmission," Goku said slowly as he prepared himself. "It was also about learning how control being a Super Saiyan. It…wouldn't have been good for me to return when you try to wish for me."

Gohan was silent and his face was blank.

He became worried. Did Gohan understand his reasons? Perhaps it was too much to asked for Gohan to understand. To him, his father disappeared for almost two years without any explanation. He may be happy to see him, but that doesn't mean he wasn't angry with him.

"You're afraid," Gohan spoke suddenly.

Goku stared at him.

"You're afraid of the Super Saiyan," Gohan stated.

He nodded. "Yes."

"But you're not afraid of anything," Gohan said in mild disbelief. "You stood up to people like Vegeta, the Ginyu Force, and Frieza without any fear."

Goku gave a short laughed. "It would be easy for me to say that I've never been afraid before, but that isn't true. I've been afraid a lot of times, especially recently."

Gohan's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Goku nodded before staring somberly at the lake. "I was afraid when Raditz took you and threatened to kill you. I was afraid when you fought Vegeta and I was unable to move. I was deathly afraid when…I felt you dying when you were fighting Frieza. And…I was scared when Frieza threatened to kill you like he did Krillin."

"That's when you transformed," Gohan whispered.

"I transformed mostly out of anger, but it was also out of fear," Goku admitted. "I was afraid that I would lose you."

Gohan said nothing for several seconds as he took in his dad's words. "If you transformed out of fear of losing me, why do you fear the Super Saiyan?"

Goku thought carefully about what he was about to say. "Because that fear gave way to anger and hatred that I couldn't control at the time. I…became consumed by it and it threatened everything I loved. I became the thing I feared."

"So, you stood away to protect us?" Gohan asked.

"If I couldn't control the Super Saiyan, it was best that I didn't return," Goku said. "If in my rage I came to bring harm to you, I could never forgive myself." There was a slight paused. "You may hate me for it, but I did what was best."

A very long, somewhat uncomfortable silence fall between the two.

Goku wasn't sure how Gohan would react. He gave his reasons; it was the question if his son accepted them. If he didn't, he understood.

"I could never hate you, dad," Gohan said with a small smile. "I mean, I wished you came home when we tried to bring you back, but I never doubted that you would come home. It….just been so hard having you a way."

Goku lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry, Gohan. I don't know if I can make it up to you, but I will try."

"But you're wrong," Gohan suddenly said.

This took Goku by surprise. "Wrong? About what?"

"You're wrong about the Super Saiyan. I saw you transform and how you acted. I was never afraid, not even a little. In fact, I never felt safer," Gohan said before looking at his dad. "Because Super Saiyan or not, you're still dad, and you could never harm us."

Goku gave small, humorless chuckle. "I wish I had such faith."

"I know it's true. No matter how angry you get, you're still my gentle father," Gohan said with the utmost confidence before his line started pulling. "Oh, I caught something!"

Goku reached for his son's line, ready to reel in the fish. Gohan quickly stopped him.

"It's okay, dad. I got it," Gohan said as he took his pole and pulled in a giant fish like he was an old expert.

Goku was impressed. The last time he and Gohan fished, the kid was nearly dragged into the water by a fish that size. Then again, Gohan was around four and it was before everything happened. His son was now becoming a young man. He didn't need his daddy to pull in his fish or cuddled him. He could stand on his own.

"Look at the size of this thing!" Gohan exclaimed as he lifted up a fish that was easily three times his size.

"Wow Gohan, what a catch! We'll be eating good tonight!" Goku declared with a voice full of pride.

Gohan laughed while the fish flopped around in his hands.

Maybe Gohan was right about him needlessly fearing the Super Saiyan and he did regret the missing years he lost with his son. But he still felt it was for the best. The safety of his family meant more than time lost. The mere thought that he could lay a hand on his son would have kept him away permanently if it came to that.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. He was back and he intended to keep it that way this time.

Over the next couple of days, life slowly began to stabilized for the Son family. Goku still had nightmares on some nights, but Chi-Chi was there to smooth him and eased his fears. Goku and Gohan also reconnected and spent most of their time together training, hunting, and telling stories about his time in space.

Piccolo also come by often, mostly to check on Gohan and to make sure everything was okay with Goku. He felt the conflict in Goku's energy and listened in on Goku and Chi-Chi's conversation that first night.

He took it upon himself to give Goku meditation exercises so he could better control the rage of the Super Saiyan. Now that Goku truly was the strongest being in the universe, the last thing they needed was him going berserk. They had enough worries with Vegeta being around.

His efforts seemed to have worked since Goku was beginning to rest more peacefully and the spikes of energy eventually ceased after a few months. It seemed Goku just needed time and the love of his family to settle his mind and make peace with what happened on Namek.

As the years past, a time a peace fell upon the Earth and the struggles against the Saiyans and Frieza faded into stories told among friends.

It was a peace that would eventually be shattered.

And the story moves forward. I always wanted to write Goku coming to terms with what happened on Namek. I am always surprise that there isn't more fanfics on this subject given the emotional turmoil Goku was put through. *Shrug* It is what it is I guess.

Until next chapter.