Hello again!

I might as well cut the bullshit. If it wasn't obvious from my not updating last Friday, I'm getting rid of the schedule. All it does is make me anxious about whether I'll get the chapter done on time, and truthfully, I don't write well that way, so I'm getting rid of it. I hope to still be able to update every week, but who knows? I also hope that now I'll be able to possibly write longer chapters.

Onto the story!

I stood in front of the mirror, surveying my reflection. Right about now, most of the other Selection girls would be thinking about how much their lives were about to change forever, and how incredibly famous and wealthy they would be after, even if they didn't win. They'd all come home and be married within a month, and some of them were fantasizing about marrying Adrian, but me? I was wondering if I could get away with sneaking in jeans and a flannel into the castle for lazy days. The rules said couldn't wear anything that the castle didn't provide me with…but Adrian had given me a red flannel for my birthday last year. Didn't that count?

As I stared at my reflection, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment towards the other girls in the Selection. I didn't like the idea of Adrian being around other girls. I'd always been his female companion of choice. Wait, scratch that, I'd always been his companion in choice period, so the idea that there were 34 other girls all competing to earn my position?

Not on my watch, I thought with narrowed eyes.

I shook these thoughts from my head. Since when did I really care about winning the Selection? I was here to explore my relationship with Adrian, to see if there was anything more, and I mean, even if I wanted to continue my platonic relationship with Adrian, we'd be able to hang out all the time. We'd be living in the same. fucking. house. We'd see each other constantly. I was convinced that this was going to be the best part of my life.

My fingers skimmed the morning glory that was placed oh-so-delicately into my hair. All of the girls were required to wear their provinces flower, and mine happened to by the morning glory. This flower was originally white, but before I was able to argue, my agent had demanded that the edges of it had to be dyed green, to match my eyes. He argued that it would make me look much better, and that it would help me. As much as I disagreed with it, it did make my eyes pop.

I took a deep breath to calm my jittery nerves. I had been feeling shaky all day, and when I say shaky, I mean shaky. When I was younger, it was much worse. Whenever I was in any sort of situation where everyone was watching me, I used to start physically shaking. I specifically remember a certain science presentation with me leaning against the counter at the front of the room with my entire body shaking like crazy, and as embarrassing as that was, I got an A+ on that presentation, so it was worth it.

I'd managed to get better. I didn't have a choice. With my profession, I was always the center of attention, whether I liked it or not. I no longer physically shook, but after walking past lots of paparazzi, or doing an interview, I would leave it with a slight shake in my hands, but that was it.

I clenched my shaking hands into fists, forcing myself to calm down before smiling my signature flirtatious smirk, which helped me boost my confidence, and walking out the door.

—o.O.o—

I'd always had a habit of zoning out, but this was just insane.

Mayor White had been talking for what seemed like hours, rambling on about how proud he is of me, how he knows I'd make a fantastic Queen, while I've just been completely zoned out. My mind was going everywhere, and I couldn't seem to stop it. It went from i wonder if there's a serial killer in the crowd to holy shit I'm horny in like five seconds flat. I didn't even realize that the Mayor had put his hand on my back until it slowly started to creep down to my ass.

I brought my hands behind my back, keeping the action casual-looking, so that no one would suspect anything. I dug my nails into Mayor White's hand, which, thankfully, stopped its journey down my body.

My gaze met Blake's, and I could tell he saw the whole thing and he was ready to, using his own words, "slit his throat and shit down it."

When he finally introduced me and handed me the microphone, I couldn't have been happier. I took this as an excuse to take a step forward, out of the Mayor's grip, as I cleared my throat and began to speak.

Now, I know that when some people see me talk during interviews or just any time I'm in public, the wonder, "wow, I wish I could be as confident as she is," but the truth is, I'm a wreck, I've just had a long time to practice hiding it.

I'd learned long ago how to manipulate my body to send off different vibes. I could make myself seem so small that no one will even glance my way. I could make myself seem so big and confident that people literally step to the side on sidewalks to clear a path for me. I could make myself seem sexy or confident or shy or calm without even trying at this point. So, when I went up to talk to all of the people gathered to send me off, it was easy to seem calm and collected.

I flashed them all a smile. "You know, when I signed that form to enter the Selection, I never actually thought I'd get in. I mean, only 35 girls get chosen, so what were the odds that I'd be one of them? That's why I didn't tell anyone I'd entered, since I didn't want them to get their hopes up, so you can imagine the conversation I had with my parents when I turned out I'd won."

The crowd laughed, and I grinned. There's nothing like the feeling of being able to make an audience laugh, and trust me when I say this. Only people who have been able to do it before know what it feels like, so knowing that I had the power to do this? It made me feel powerful, and I liked that.

There was a small pause as I tried to decide what to say next, and when I couldn't decide on anything, I said exactly that.

"I have no idea what to say right now…"

The crowd laughed again, and I laughed with them.

"I can imagine that all of the other girls are far more excited for this than I am. Even if they don't win, their lives will change drastically. Those of them in the lower castes will be elevated, and their families won't have to starve, and I mean, they get to meet the prince. I've known the prince my whole life, and, well, I don't really need the money."

I cleared my throat before I continued. "Which is why I've decided to donate the money I receive from the Selection."

The crowd is silent, which doesn't do much to help my nerves, but I continue anyway. "I don't need the money, as I've said before, but there are people out there who do need it. My parents and I have agreed that its only fair for me to receive half of the money, so while I have no idea what they do with their half, I know that my half will go to a good cause."

I handed the microphone back to Mayor White as the crowd erupted into cheers. My eyes sought out Blake, and he just smiled back at me, clapping hard.

When it was finally time for goodbyes, I kept mine short. I gave both of my parents a hug. Just as I turned to leave, I heard someone shout my name. Or, at least, a version of my name.

"Ky!"

I turned around and was practically attacked by Blake. He wrapped his arms around my and lifted me up into his hug. I laughed and squeezed him tight, although it was mostly so I wouldn't fall.

Blake finally put me down, and I grinned at him.

"I'll miss you, Ky," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please, these are going to be the most relaxing months of your life.

He laughed, and I smiled. "You better text me every day," he ordered.

I gave him a small curtsy. "As you wish, your majesty."

"I'm going to be saying that to you soon enough."

Although I tried to hide it, my heart started pounding at the thought. "Yeah right. What are the chances I'm actually going to win this?"

Blake just gave me a look. "Text me when you get to the castle, alright?"

I rolled my eyes, "yes, mother."

He gave me one more hug. "Be strong, Ky. Call me if it gets bad," he whispered in my ear before pulling away.

I knew what he was talking about. He was talking about my little 'episodes,' or panic attacks, although I preferred to call them 'roller coasters of fear' because I mean, roller coasters are cool.

What do you think?

Let me know!

~Umbreon90