I am alive for the first time in my life. I can count every cell on my body and feel the vibration of every sound travel up the shaft of each feather. With my eyes shut I know the exact location of each human in the room by the sound of their words slamming off each others' bodies. I can smell Lewis' fear. Vivi's outrage. Arthur's despondency.

I smell cherry blossoms.

They are near, but They do not attack. They fear Callie.

I think I would fear Callie if I wasn't experiencing the sensation of stretching my lungs to fullness over and over, listening to a moth beating itself against the buzzing fluorescent hospital lights, and wondering how far I could go if I started flying now.

I will not leave Arthur, but my very bones ache to run, to soar, to leap to the sky and shout for joy.

I should be despairing right alongside Arthur, I should be more lost than Lewis, but gods above I can breathe deep and clear for the first time in eons. It's as though a dozen filters and dampers have lifted off senses that were already well beyond human capabilities. And it is as though I am a feather myself, and that the next wind will blow me away and I could not care less because I am no longer a stone.

I remember everything I did. I can still recall every scream of horror or broken sob I ever caused, but somehow it doesn't touch me. Because somehow, by some miracle, I did not do these things.

But I did.

But I didn't.

Gods, Callie, what have you done to me?

I tuck my head beneath my wing, muffling sound and smell as much as I can. I am a bird, how did I recall how to be a bird? It took me days of intense concentration to recall how to shift to human.

Of course. Inari Okami. They who take the shape They must to deal the justice They feel is deserved. They gifted me with some of Their traits. Shapeshifting was my first and greatest gift from Them, breathed into every corner of my being at my formation. But I'd glutted myself on so many dark souls, the memory of how to stretch my cells had faded, buried and lost over time.

Gods, Callie, what is happening to you right now?

The gravity of the thought doesn't match the freedom singing through my veins. Is this why water spirits are always joyful? I will never begrudge them their joy again, not a single drop.

Arthur is going to scream at me when he can speak again. For some reason, not even this bothers me. He was right, we will find a way. I don't know why I didn't see it before.

How is hope suddenly so easy to come by? It used to be always just out of reach.

Lewis reeks of fear. I do not blame him. I would be afraid of myself if I could just connect those actions to myself.

I did these things.

I did not do these things.

What is this contradiction? I lift my wing a fraction to peer at Callie. She rages black and caged in her prison, Excalibur. Arthur cannot hear her, but I can, and her tongue is vile and twisted, a corrupted version of high speech only the lowest of the spirit realm use in their cursing. She isn't even casting a curse, she is just cursing everything. Arthur. Vivi. Inari Okami. Me. Herself. Merlin. The King. His bride. The children of her lake. She rages and shrieks at the bond that keeps her from the blood she thinks will slake the pain.

My corruption was swift, but it came by degrees. Yet in an instant, she took all of it into herself.

Two things become very clear. First, by all the laws of the spirit realm, she owns my life. If she breaks free of Arthur in this state, she will likely claim it. Second, she cannot remain in this state. She must be restored. Whether I can connect myself to the actions that were done or not, they are my responsibility, and she will not suffer a second longer than she has to for the actions that were taken.

I pull my head free from my wing, stretching out my body and calling up clothes as wings and feathers become arms and hands and fingers. I turn to Arthur. I am still no healer, it is not my gifting, but Callie cannot be allowed to touch him, and I am all that is available.

But no, I am not all there is. I turn to Vivi. Lewis has placed her behind him. I tilt my head back for a moment, bracing myself. The elation subsides a touch as I level a gaze at Lewis. Every part of him radiates with the tension of a spring wound far too tight, and his eyes are fixed on me. I can see his hands glowing.

I take a moment to assess myself. So much of the darkness I consumed was my strength, my power. Now it is all gone, and I am so very much weaker than before. But Lewis is still a newborn ghost compared to me. He could injure me, but killing me is beyond him. Still, it would be best if I could reach an understanding with him, even if friendship is no longer an option.

Vivi is shouting at Lewis, telling him to get a grip. I roll my shoulders back, sighing. "Lewis, I cannot undo what you've seen. But all of those things that happened were no less true before you knew about them, yet you trusted me then."

Lewis doesn't answer, his palms glowing brighter.

Some of the heaviness is returning. "I am sorry I have burdened you with these memories." I dip my head. "And I am sorry I.." I falter. What do I say? I should have known better? But I couldn't have. I couldn't see an escape, or even hope for one. I did not know better, and I still do not. Only now, I have hope. Now, I would have chosen to stay if I could. "I did not know the right thing to do, and I did the only thing I thought to be right at the time." I shut my eyes, exhaling slowly. "Even aged spirits make mistakes. But Lewis, I would never harm you. Or Vivi, or Arthur. That has not changed. If anything, what Callie did…"

I still cannot put into words what she did. I look down at the sword. She was supposed to kill me. "Why didn't she kill me?" I shake my head. Now is not the time. Back to Lewis. "Lewis, you know none of you would have stood a chance against me if I wanted to continue in the ways you saw. When have I ever been a danger to you?"

Vivi's hands are on his shoulders. "Lew, whatever you saw, you know that's not Mystery anymore. Hasn't been for a long time."

The poor boy is torn. He knows I'm right, he knows Vivi is right, but he can't forget what he's seen. "Perhaps Arthur would be inclined to share some of his fonder memories of me with you at some point. I would prefer not to be at odds with you, Lewis."

Lewis' eyes shift over to Arthur, and I see him cringe. "Lewis?"

"He saw."

For one moment, my heart stops. "What?"

"I had my Deadbeats back. I jumped inside him. I told him he had to let go of his guilt and… then I looked at you."

And remembered… inside Arthur.

I try to sit, but there is no chair, and I am on the ground quite suddenly. Vivi is in front of me, I am not sure how she got there. She is patting my face, and I can't make out her words. I am so very cold inside, and I can hear my heart in my ears.

Arthur saw.

The scent of cherry blossoms is stronger now, and I hear the high speech faintly on the wind. It speaks of forgiveness, it speaks of open arms, and it speaks of a place to call home should I return to Them now.

Funny how They only speak of open arms and home now that I am purified, a useful tool that can once again perform as I was made to. Arthur knew what I was and he still wanted me to stay. Still wanted me as a friend. Never once used me as a tool.

The high speech mocks my decision. I will be discarded, They warn me, thrown out now that he's seen for himself. Then there will be no forgiveness from Them then, only destruction.

I fling out a hand, fumbling until I find Arthur's and grab it. "I will bet my life on this human." I am breathing hard. "I trust him. Get away, you are not welcome."

"Who's he talking to?" Vivi's voice breaks through.

I raise my head to answer, and see Lewis' Deadbeats flying for the window. I launch after them, a falcon with outstretched claws. I seize them by their tails and drag them back, screeching angrily at Lewis. He grabs them, eyes wide. He never even noticed them leaving. I return to human form, grabbing Lewis by the shoulders and shouting, "Do I not have enough to worry about without you being pickpocketed every two seconds?"

Lewis wrenches away, hair flaring. "Get back inside Arthur." I turn away from him. "At least then you're embodied and They can't steal your mind piecemeal. Where's my cane?"

"Mystery." Vivi speaks softly, but I don't want to hear her right now.

"Vivi listen, we have to try and heal Arthur. Callie probably didn't teach you much about healing, and I don't know how, but there must be some spells in your books. Get them, bring them here, I'll feed you the energy you need."

"Mystery."

"We'll have to be careful, but as long as we go slowly we shouldn't have any problems."

"Mystery!"

"What?" I turn to Vivi, snappish. Any good feeling hangs in the shadow of fear. What Arthur will say when he wakes up? I don't know, and I am in no mood to be lectured by a human right now.

"Your leg." She's staring down, and I follow her gaze.

I have forgotten to call up shoes for myself, and at the end of each pant leg I see a foot. Two feet, side by side, whole and real and mine. I pull up my pant leg, and there it is. Not an inch of metal.

Vivi's hand is on my face, and I realize my face is wet. I don't understand why my face is wet, but right now I don't understand very much of anything.

No, that is wrong. I understand what I have to do for Callie.

If only my face would stop leaking.