Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll learn to deal... eventually.

Warnings: none

As I said there will be parts necessarily missing here at FFnet.

Mornings After and Other Freaky Stuff

„Pass me the jam, please."

Buffy reached over and did so.

Jack and Buffy were standing side by side in Jack's kitchen making breakfast. Both had discovered that neither liked the elaborate kind, much prefering to just linger in the kitchen, coffee in one hand, in the other a sandwich or similar. This way one could brace for the impact of the day so to speak, instead of just taking it sitting down.

Just now Buffy was leaning against the counter, cradling her second coffee, having already finished her peanut butter sandwich. Jack was still in the process of finishing the manufacturing of a spectacularly looking concoction whose ingredients she'd rather not examine more closely.

He's worse than Dawn.

„Damn! The friggin' thing won't open." Jack glared at the obstinate glass of raspberry jam and put it on the kitchen top, turning away to get out the big guns.

Buffy felt her eyes inexplicably drawn to the offending condiment, put her mug on the counter and slowly but inevitably sidled nearer, finally taking it.

„Wait, I'll just pop the lid with a knife." Jack stepped up, knife already in hand.

Buffy looked him in the eye and easily twisted off the lid.

„Oh-kay. No knife then."

Buffy settled the glass and lid carefully back on the counter as if handling a live grenade.

Oh my god. I really did it. Will he get it? Please let him get it. Or not.

Jack fixed her with a calculating stare. „Remind me to never arm wrestle with you. Next time I'll have to hang on just a bit longer. Can't have you encroaching on yet another exclusively male territory after you already cornered the market on daring rescues."

Buffy let out an explosive breath she hadn't known she held.

Damn, he didn't get it.

Then she felt slightly silly at having expected him to in the first place.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Much less your girlfriend turning into Marvel Girl and I spend too much time with Xander obviously.

But Buffy couldn't help but be slightly disappointed and relieved at the same time.

„I bet they show you these moves only once you actually join the Secret Brotherhood Of Gym Attendants, do they?" Jack's eyes held a teasing sparkle and she grinned and then stuck out her tongue at him.

Soon, but right now I can be avoidy girl a while longer and just bask.

Introductions, How Not To

Buffy was on her way to the post office. Dawn had sent her an early christmas present, never mind that Dawn herself would be visiting just after Christmas.

Knowing Dawn's frightening sense of humour it will probably be Lederhosen.

Buffy had already finished her shift at the gym and was looking forward to an evening of housework fun. Not.

Darkness fell early this time of year and Buffy had bundled herself up against the cold.

The street lights had little halos while snow was gently falling.

All this seasonal beauty was lost on her, the prospect of having to tackle the truly stupendous amount of laundry foremost in her mind.

When her slayer sense suddenly tingled it was almost a relief.

Yipie! Slaytime means no laundry time.

She looked around sharply, searching for her quarry. The streets were nearly empty, a car passed noisily by, the wind shifted bringing with it the promise of more snow.

Except for that one guy just now rounding the corner, zilch. And he's not it.

Wait a minute! I know that guy. And lookee what's right behind him...

„Daniel! Duck!"

Daniel Jackson was deep in thoughts as he came around the corner, when he heard someone yelling at him. Reflexively he did as ordered, years spent working with soldiers paying off.

He saw a young, blonde woman whom he didn't know sprinting toward him throwing something.

He heard a puffing sound and something clattered to the ground behind him. He turned around, seeing a guy with some kind of facial deformation directly behind him. The guy looked fixedly at the still running woman, snarled, showing equally deformed teeth. „Slayer!" And ran in the opposite direction as if all hell was after him.

The blonde didn't even slow down but followed in hot pursuit. Daniel shook himself when both vanished in a dark alley and got up slowly still amazed how fast everything had happened. And how the heck did she know him when he had never seen her before?

Buffy caught up with the vampire when the alley he had run into turned out to be a dead end.

„You know I really would have preferred you less stupid. This way it'll be over in 30 seconds and I have to do my laundry sooner."

35 seconds later Buffy sauntered out of the alley brushing the last vestiges of Barney The Intellectually Challenged off her pants.

She nearly collided with Daniel.

"Are you alright?" Buffy checked him over with a fast glance.

"Yes, thanks. I'm quite ok." Daniel looked down at himself as if checking again and adjusted his glasses.

"Good." She was eager to obfuscate, heedlessly babbling. "Sorry about the rush just now. But my old friend Barney and I haven't seen each other in ages. And he still owes me money. That's probably why he took off just now. And that stupid nickname? So High School. And then he just went pouf in that alley. No trace of him. Can you believe the nerve of some people?" She rolled her eyes at 'Barney'.

"Actually, about that." Daniel was amazed that he managed to get a word in edgewise in between the veritable torrent of words the blonde breathlessly unleashed. "Who are you? And how do you know me?" He fixed her with a steady stare.

Buffy gaped as she realized that in her haste to divert him from what had happened she had completely forgotten that he couldn't know that she had seen pictures of Jack's coworkers and friends at Jack's house, including one of Sam Carter, him and a black guy Jack had called Murray.

In fact Buffy couldn't even be sure Daniel knew about her at all. It might be that Jack hadn't told him considering they were a fairly new item.

"Gosh, my bad." She smiled broadly and extended her hand, determined to make a better first impression than with Sam Carter. "I'm Buffy Summers." She waited for a beat to see whether Daniel showed any signs of knowing about her. He looked at her hand blankly and she continued: "Jack's girlfriend? I saw photos of you at Jack's house." At that Daniel's eyes snapped up to her face again but thankfully he took her hand and shook it.

"Yes, Sam mentioned meeting you two."

"Hopefully she left out the part where I became Little Miss Motormouth and called her work boring?" Buffy still cringed at the memory.

"Rest assured that she did. Actually I remember her smiling a lot when she told me about it."

At Buffy's now sightly alarmed look he hastily amended: "In light of fact, forget I said that."

Buffy managed a weak half smile and Daniel buried his hands deep in his coat pockets, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Great. I managed to freak not only one but two of Jack's colleagues. What is it with me and weirdo first impressions?

"Listen, it was great meeting you and all but I still have to pick up something from the post office before it closes." Buffy looked up at Daniel with an apology written in her eyes.

"Yes, sure." Daniel struggled to free his hands from his pockets again. "I mean likewise. I mean meeting you was nice."

"I hope we'll see each other at Jack's some time."

"Yeahsureyoubetcha." Daniel managed a decent Jack imitation, making her smile brilliantly before she turned and hurried along the side walk.

"Buffy Summers." Daniel mumbled to himself. "She's certainly … different."

She's so young! And blonde.

But she seems likeable enough. Sam thinks so. Jack too obviously.

Daniel smiled deep in thoughts and continued on his way, absentmindedly picking up what had clattered to the ground just minutes before, turning the piece of wood in his fingers, shaking some leftover ash away.

But she's so young.

And the slayer.

I always thought that was a myth. Maybe an apocryphal expression of female empowerment.

I wonder if Jack knows?

Jack stared down at the report SG-8 had handed in in disbelief.

"And then Cpt. Peters collided with a stationary Jaffa coming the other way."

Remind me to add a drug test to the standard post-mission medical examination. O'Bannon must have been high when she wrote this.

Oh wait, a drug test is standard.

Jack checked the date.

Nope, not April 1st either.

Jack shoved the report to the stack of To-Be-Done-Later which was higher than the stack of Not-Checked-Yet but not as high as To-Be-Done-By-Someone-Else-Or-Preferrably-Not-At-All.

Let's deal with this later.

Of course Jack would sooner or later get around to doing all of them but right now he was preoccupied, actually had been for the entire morning already.

Let's be sensible about this and do the adult thing.

Bug someone else.

Jack shoved his chair back and gladly left his office and work behind. A small detour through the cafeteria later he strolled into Carter's lab.

As anticipated she was hard at work on her computer but naturally that was no deterrent for Jack.

"Hiya, Carter. Whatcha doing?"

Sam Carter visibly flinched at being adressed so unexpectedly but knew how to handle pseudo-nosy superiors and General O'Neill in particular.

"Hello sir. I'm just now calibrating the energy ratio on the power cell that was found on P4X-987. It seems to run on a unique frequency that resonates with certain types of alloys used in creating the housing. I am attempting to recreate the effect. It's fascinating, sir."

"If you say so." In truth he hadn't listened to a word after calibrating. "Say Carter, you taking anyone to the Christmas formal at the Academy this Friday?"

Even Carter who was experienced with O'Neill's sometimes wild jumps of logic was taken aback. Blinking a bit she answered slowly: "I asked Pete."

"'Course."

When nothing else was forthcoming and the General looked pensive, a truly frightening prospect when one knew him, Carter ventured cautiously: "Are you asking for a particular reason, sir?"

"No. Yes. Well, I don't know if I should ask Buffy."

Knowing it would be better to not say anything but rather listen for more input, Carter waited.

"You've met her. I would really like to take her but …" O'Neill fixed her with an almost pleading stare, apparently hoping she wouldn't require more.

Carter pondered for a moment. She figured she knew what the General's concerns were. Up until fairly recently bringing someone along to any kind of formal Air Force function meant, she - in those days there were no female officers in the Force - was weighed and measured whether she was up to specs as an officer's and gentleman's wife.

In Jack's case bringing Buffy would surely raise a few eyebrows.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" At Jack's nod Carter continued. "I know she looks rather young, if that is what you are concerned about." She ventured cautiously, seeing O'Neill listening intently, she continued slowly but surely. "But she is your choice and if she is going to be a part of your life, others will in time look past that and just see what the two of you are for each other." For a brief moment Sam feared that she had presumed too much, it was a rather sensitive, personal topic and O'Neill looked at her with such intensity.

Jack didn't know whether he should be grateful for Carter's candour. It was more or less what he had thought himself, albeit less eloquently put.

He had been skirting around the issue in his mind all day. He wanted Buffy to become a part of his life.

Heck, she is already. But we're so new. Quite apart from the age issue.

Taking her to that formal was a big step, never mind the fact that he opened himself to ridicule showing up with someone who could rightfully be his daughter. A lot of the brass was going to be there and their wives, sometimes the worst of the lot.

"Thank you, Carter." Jack pushed his hands deeper into his pockets, to the casual observer simply preoccupied. To Carter seeing him so subdued and thoughtful was painfully unusual.

"Anytime sir." She felt the need to add some reassurances. "I'm sure it will be fine."

Jack just looked up again, nodded once half-smiling and left.

And Carter made a decision rather out of character for her.

RIIIING.

When Buffy heard the phone as she was about to enter her apartment she hurried up, wondering who might call her this early. All of her friends and Dawn were in timezones or occupations non compatible with being up at this hour. Even Willow had left for the UK to visit with Kennedy's parents.

I hope there's nothing wrong.

And hurried even more, snatching the phone off the hook, sending the station crashing to the floor.

"Crap! Hello? Sorry, I just dropped something. You still there?"

"Hello Buffy. This is Sam Carter speaking. General O'Neill's colleague. We met the other day."

"Sam! Of course." Relieved that it was nothing Hellmouthy Buffy settled herself more calmly on the couch. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually I am calling because of the General."

"Jack? Is something wrong? Has something happened to him?" Buffy sat up in alarm, an empty feeling spreading in her stomach.

"No! No. I'm sorry, there's is nothing wrong with him."

Buffy felt relief flooding her body at Sam's words. For a moment there she had feared the worst.

"Sorry, I didn't want to frighten you. But this is rather awkward and I don't really know how to do this." Sam actually sounded a bit desperate.

Buffy was more than curious. "What is it? If it's that horrible, just get it out. Never mind awkward."

"Okay. The General approached me today about the Christmas formal which will be held at the Air Force Academy this Friday." Buffy could hear her blowing out some air as if readying herself for something.

Is she going to tell me he asked her to go with him?

Buffy felt a different kind of feeling settling in her stomach.

"He was unsure whether he could ask you because... well, to put it bluntly because you're younger than him. Noticeably younger."

"Oh-kay."

"I am only butting in because, well apart from being the General he's also a friend."

Buffy felt her hackles rise.

She's trying to tell me to back off because I looking younger! No way, no how. Brace for impact nosy Sam Carter.

She replied sickly sweet: "Your concern is heart warming, Sam."

And then continued with steel in her tone. "But as long as Jack and I haven't decided to call this off, I am not about to call it quits because a well meaning 'friend' like you decides to play judge, jury and executioner."

"Oh. My. God. I am sorry but that is not what I intended at all. Buffy, believe me, I saw the two of you together and I see Jack everyday. Since you're around, he has changed. He's happy now. I wouldn't want to change that ever."

Sam's honest vehemence seemed genuine to Buffy.

"I just wanted to talk to you because, since you are not Air Force you might not know some things. When Jack brings you to this formal, all the brass, the other officer's I mean, will judge the General by you. I'd never have presumed to butt in like this but I thought..."

Buffy felt slightly foolish at having flown off the handle like this and cut in hastily.

"Sam. Sam! I am sorry. I really thought you wanted to get me to let Jack go. What exactly is the deal with this formal? What do you mean they are going to judge Jack by me?" Buffy was determined to put their misunderstanding behind them and instead get to the bottom of Sam's real reason for calling.

"It used to be that an officer could only bring his wife and when he brought her she had to be, well more or less perfect. Only if she passed inspection could he hope to get a promotion or be recognized among his peers. That's what I thought you should know."

Buffy felt a hollow feeling at this daunting prospect. "And you think that people will look weirdly at Jack for bringing me 'cause I am younger? Because I am not the typical Stepford wife?"

"Yes." Sam sounded apologetic.

"That's so 18th century. And unfair. But of course when has that ever made a difference for 'them'." Buffy inwardly fumed at this kind of pre-historic attitude.

"Well, he hasn't asked me yet anyhow." She tried to lighten the mood. "But thanks for giving me the heads up."

"Don't mention it. And again I 'm sorry for ... well, you know."

"No, it's okay. I am sorry for jumping down your throat when you were just trying to help."

"It was understandable considering the circumstances."

"Still. Have a nice day, Sam."

"You to, Buffy."

Buffy thoughtfully replaced the cordless on its station.

Now how will I pull this off? And how do I manage to get Jack to invite me in the first place? And do I really want to?

Messenger: You now appear Available to everyone.

BUZZ!

Daphne: Dawn, you there?

Sluzzelin: Hiya, sister mine! Long time, no messenger. How u doing?

Daphne: Ok. You know, I don't really get that laptop you guys gave me.

Sluzzelin: Way to go for the technologically challenged then. :-P

Daphne: :-P yourself. It took me ages to figure out to look at these thingies sideways.

Sluzzelin: :-) I fondly remember. And wasn't that a day the world stopped. The Chosen One joined the global village. :-o

Daphne: ha-ha. Very funny.

Daphne: Not.

Sluzzelin: I pride myself in my accomplished and witty repartee.

Daphne: Must be talking to the wrong person here.

Sluzzelin: While I always enjoy yanking your chain, you can't leave me in the dark 4eva. Spill!

Daphne: ???

Sluzzelin: J. A. C. K.

Sluzzelin: Who's he?

Sluzzelin: Where did you meet?

Sluzzelin: How is he kissing?

Sluzzelin: And is he evil yet?

Daphne: Dawn! Stop it!

Daphne: Let me at least answer in between.

Daphne: He's working at the military base here.

Daphne: work

Sluzzelin: He's military??????!!!!

Daphne: None of your business.

Daphne: I meant, none of your business whether or how he's kissing. And yes, he's military.

Sluzzelin: thud After the mess with the Initiative, you think that's… you know… wise?

Daphne: Don't know about wise but he's a good guy.

Daphne: Which neatly answers your last question. :-)

Sluzzelin: I don't know… I still think you should … actually I don't know what you should and anyhow, would you listen? Absolutely not. Go figure.

Sluzzelin: Just be careful.

Daphne: You're heartwarming.

Sluzzelin: Just make sure to tell him, I'll come riding in, one brassed off Uber-Wicca and a bevy of Supergirls in tow ready to kick his ass all over the place if he's evil after all.

Daphne: I'll be sure to mention it, whenever I want him to think I'm, you know, INSANE.

Daphne: Dawn…

Sluzzelin: Uh, oh.

Sluzzelin: what now?

Daphne: I have a problem.

Sluzzelin: I KNEW IT! HE'S EVIL! STAY CALM. I'LL CATCH THE NEXT PLANE AND ALERT WILLOW, XANDER AND THE NEWBIES TOO.

Daphne: Dawn!

Daphne: It's not that.

Daphne: Actually it's something nice.

Sluzzelin: oh-kay. Now I'm confused.

Daphne: join the club. Here's the sitch:

Daphne: He will probably ask me to go to this ultra conservative military jamboree where no one is going to have fun out of principle.

Sluzzelin: I'm with you so far.

Daphne: Where everyone will look down their noses at me because I'm new and young.

Sluzzelin: hate to break it to you, but you're not that young. In fact you're positvely ancient according to some… ;-P

Daphne: Well, next to Jack I might.

Sluzzelin: Buffy…

Daphne: Yes?

Sluzzelin: How much older is Jack exactly?

Daphne: He's 45.

Daphne: Dawn?

Daphne: Dawn?!

BUZZ!

Daphne: Dawn, I know you're there!

Sluzzelin: Sorry, had to go yell quietly into the closet for a moment.

Sluzzelin: He's … really old.

Daphne: hey!!!

Sluzzelin: I mean, granted, he's younger than Angel or Spike but still... he's human.

Sluzzelin: He is human, isn't he??

Daphne: Yes, yes. Human and old, I get it. But Dawn, I really need help here.

Daphne: I don't know how to pull this off without embarrassing him.

Sluzzelin: And doesn't that sound absolutely retro now.

Daphne: Totally! But it's still a big thing in the military. At least I hear they have to let us fly fighter planes nowadays.

Sluzzelin: Thanks for nothing! Narrow-minded, stupid, backward idiots.

Daphne: I know.

Daphne: But I really like Jack and I want to make this work. Even if right now I have this weird wish to pierce my tongue and dye my hair blue just to show 'them'.

Sluzzelin: ) snort Better not, blue's not your colour. You'll look like a dead fish. The piercing though... Jack might appreciate it. hint, hint

Daphne: DAWN!!

Sluzzelin: Hach, it's so nice to see some things never change. ;-)

Sluzzelin: Seriously, let's plan.

Daphne: ok

Sluzzelin: By the way…

Daphne: Yes?

Sluzzelin: I just wanted to savour the moment.

Daphne: ???

Sluzzelin: YOU are asking ME for fashion advice. Gives the old ego a real boost, let me tell you.

Daphne: !!!

tbc

Sluzzelin is Middle High German for Key and Daphne of course is a not so subtle nod to Scooby Doo.

The thing about officers and their significant others is canon, so to speak. Disgusting but there you go.