Hey, guys and gals. As it turns out, I'm having a hard time staying away from this story. I can barely focus on my other one. Even today at work I was thinking about it. (Guess who already has the death scene mapped out?) Anyway, I'm thinking the next chapter we'll be getting into a little bit of what happened to Alec. I'm not sure if the next chapter will be posted on Sunday, as usual. Probably ;) Anyway, it's now 1:30am and I'm tired. Enjoy! And thank you for all the reviews! I've hung a few up on my wall for inspiration! You are great! Every single one of you!

The car suddenly jerked to the left and immediately swerved back to the right, causing me to smack my head against the window. Wincing, I rubbed my forehead and glared over at Luke. His smug smile made me roll my eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" I groaned. "Crack my skull open?"

"You're not paying attention to me," Luke whined.

"Sorry." I pulled out my phone to check the time. Only twenty minutes until my shift ended. "You were saying?"

"You going on a date or something?"

"I'm going back to the hospital to check on Alec."

Luke let out a huff. When I glanced over at him, I caught him chewing the inside of his cheek, a habit that was made visible when he was contemplating something. He said nothing further, but I recognized the way his eyes stared dead ahead, glimpsing far more than just the road and traffic. Luke did not have a fondness for lectures, which was one of his better qualities. He always had an opinion but his voice was quiet and reserved. He kept his thoughts to himself, but I knew that Luke was a wise man, experienced in life's twists and turns. Sometimes it was beneficial to hear what he had to say, even if it was not what I wanted to hear.

"Spit it out, Garroway."

Luke stopped at a red light and answered without looking at me, "I'm just concerned that you're getting a little too invested in Alexander Lightwood."

"He doesn't have anybody to take care of him," I said, not defensively. "He can't go through this alone."

"So you've taken it upon yourself to be his family?"

I shifted in my seat. "I wouldn't say family. . ."

"B, you're a kind-hearted young man, and I think it's great that you want to help Alec, but I don't want him to become your burden. If you keep doing what you're doing, Alec is going to get attached to you. Therapy and medication won't heal him, not for a very long time. You're treading water, B, and I don't want to see you get dragged under trying to keep someone else afloat."

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Admitting to Luke that I was planning on offering Alec the spare room in my house was probably a bad idea. I knew my partner would always have my back, and even if he was concerned about my choices, he'd never leave me to struggle on my own. What Luke needed to understand was that I shared that same protective camaraderie with Alec. Every time I looked into those blue eyes, Alec's struggle slowly became my own.

With visiting hours starting up again in the afternoon, the hospital was crowded with the bustling of patients, visitors, and staff. Thankfully, my uniform was once again working in my favor; people recognized the police station's gear and cleared a path for me. I made a beeline for the hospital's gift shop, mulling over the best option for a thoughtful yet subtle gift to take up to Alec's room. There was a wide display of helium balloons in every color and greeting. Cards and candy bars shared a space by the far wall. I dismissed them all when I remembered that Alec could not read and his stomach was still too sensitive for chocolate. I raked my fingers through my hair as my eyes skimmed over cheap jewelry, lottery tickets, and baby clothes. Maybe this was a stupid idea.

As I turned to leave, something small in a nearby display caught my eye. I approached the case, drawn to this small item. Without the slightest hesitation, I slid the door open, pulled it out, and carried to up to the till, my free hand already reaching for my wallet.

Cat was hurrying down the hallway in my direction, her nose nearly pressed flat against the clipboard in her hands. I stuck my hand out and stopped her before she accidentally bumped into me. She jumped, startled, but smiled warmly when she recognized me. Her tousled hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, making it easier to see the fatigue in her blue eyes.

"Hey, you," she said.

"Hey yourself." I scanned her up and down. "Everything okay? You look worn out."

"I'm covering for another doctor for a bit today. All these extra patients are going to give me wrinkles." She rubbed her eye. "Plus Simon and Jordan are being discharged today."

"What? Already?"

"Don't worry. We're keeping Alec for a few more days. Simon and Jordan are being transferred to the care of their parents, and both of them have agreed to see psychiatrists on a regular basis. There's not much else we can do for them; we'd only be keeping them cooped up."

I nodded. "That's great, Cat. I'm happy for them."

She was quiet for a moment. "You're envious of them."

"It does seem unfair that they can go home, two broken families now whole again," I sighed. "But I'm not resentful. It's uplifting that something more than devastation rose from this tragedy."

Cat reached out and touched my arm, her eyes both sad and comforting. She flicked her head, indicating to Alec's room. "We gave him some sedatives to help him sleep. He might be a little drowsy if he wakes up, but he should be coherent. I've got to run. Talk to you later?"

I waved at her as she took off down the hall again, scribbling on her clipboard. Quietly opening and closing the door, I slipped into Alec's room and seated myself in the chair at his bedside. He was curled on his side, his legs tucked slightly. The blanket was pulled up to his shoulders and his hair fell over his eyes.

Just as I settled back into my chair, Alec's eyes snapped open and he jackknifed upright. His hands clenched in the blanket and he wobbled slightly. Still under the sedative's lull, he struggled to keep his wild, unfocused eyes open. But his slender body was still tense, his breathing panicked and ragged.

"Alec, it's just me," I said soothingly. "It's Magnus."

"Sorry," he slurred drowsily. "I thought you were. . . someone else."

Even in his drug-induced slumber Alec had felt someone watching him. Frightening eyes scoured him even when he was not awake. He was haunted by a nightmare, haunted by his life.

"I didn't mean to frighten you."

Alec nodded and settled back into bed. Once nestled comfortably against the pillows, he turned his somnolent gaze to me.

I had to fight to pull my eyes away from his. "I brought you something."

He looked at the item in my hand through half-lidded eyes. A small smile tugged at his lips. "It's pretty. What is it?"

I was about to laugh, thinking the sedatives had muddled Alec's brain, but I caught myself. He'd been abducted when he was four years old, and he'd spent the next fifteen years locked inside a bare house with at least one pedophile. I doubted he'd retained any of his memories from before he had been abducted. Not to mention the puzzled curiosity in his expression seemed to be genuine.

"It's a flower." I reached over and set it on the bedside table, noticing how Alec's eyes sluggishly followed the gift. "A rose, to be more precise."

The flower had been the simplest arrangement in the gift shop's display case. It was a fully bloomed white rose, trimmed to the pedicle, surrounded by fanned out mint green leaves. A small, spherical crystal vase completed the arrangement. The snowy, unblemished petals brought to mind purity and gentleness. The second I'd seen the arrangement, Alec's name had flashed in my head like a Vegas billboard.

"It's pretty," Alec said again, but his smile began to fade.

"Is something wrong?"

Alec's eyes slid shut and his head began to loll to the side. "What do I. . . have to do. . . to . . ."

His last words were muffled, mixed with his soft snoring, but I thought I'd heard: 'to repay you.' I shivered and scrubbed a hand over my face. I could have been mistaken, but my guess was that Alec felt the need to express his gratitude for my gift. And I doubted that any of the methods Alec had been trained to show appreciation involved remaining fully clothed.

Soft rapping on the window drew my attention elsewhere. A wide grin spread across my lips when I recognized the face standing outside the room. Overcome by the sedative's dosage, Alec had not woken up. I got up and left the room, quietly closing the door behind me.

"Magnus Bane."

I found myself enveloped in a tight embrace. Laughing, I slapped the man on the back and pushed at his shoulders so I could get a glimpse of him. Standing just over six foot four, with broad shoulders and solid planes of muscle, Valen Morgenstern was a warrior of a man. His short blonde hair was slicked back as usual, and his dark eyes were unnerving but warm. Like Hodge Starkweather, Valen had the power to intimidate anyone just by being present in a room. But where Hodge was quiet and calculating, Valen was audacious and outspoken. Those two traits had caused tension between Valen and his coworkers back when he'd worked at the station. Valen and I had gotten along well enough, but Luke had always loathed the man. He told me he'd never trusted Valen, and claimed the man to be a "two-faced asshole," as he put it. Luke had barely been able to contain his excitement when Valen had transferred to another precinct.

"I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it was you who found Alexander Lightwood. Forgive me, but I tried to picture you, a shy, shrimp of a police officer, carrying another guy out of a house and nearly fell out of my chair laughing."

I took the jab in good stride. "I never envisioned myself as a hero either."

Valen folded his arms over his chest. "How's Luke? Still a surly little pig?"

"He's doing well. He was also a part of the rescue mission"

"So I heard," he muttered, his lip curling slightly.

I knew the rivalry between Luke and Valen had never been amended, so I switched gears. "What are you doing all the way down here?"

"I'm just passing through. A convention just west of here has demanded my presence." Valen rolled his eyes. "Hours upon hours of meetings in a cramped room with wheezing men chowing down on donuts. I'd rather do paperwork."

"I've got some paperwork you can do."

Valen snorted and ruffled my hair. "Don't be such a smartass, pretty boy."

I nudged my arm toward Alec's room. "I'd tell you to come say hello, but he's out cold."

"Let him sleep," he said, raising his hand to decline my offer. "No doubt he needs it. Maybe I'll stop by on the way back."

"I'll keep you posted."

Valen glanced down at his watch. "I should probably run, kid. It was nice seeing you. Congrats on the rescue."

I pulled my ex-co-worker into a one-armed hug and waved him off as he sauntered down the hall. He tipped an invisible hat to a group of nurses standing by the front desk and winked at them. They exploded into a fit of giggles. Rolling my eyes, I slipped back into Alec's room and waited for him to wake up.

"It even smells pretty." Alec held the flower up to his nose for the fifth time and inhaled. He cradled the gift in his lap, admiring the petals.

"I'm glad you like it."

"You never told me what you wanted."

I cleared my throat. "Pardon me?"

Alec's eyes were hidden behind his hair as his finger skimmed over the rim of the vase. "You never told me what you wanted in return for the gift."

"You don't owe me anything," I said, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants, uncomfortable.

Alec pushed his hair out of his face, revealing his confusion. "But I have to—"

"Excuse me."

Alec and I glanced over at the door and gasped in unison to see a mass of people watching us. Simon Lewis and Jordan Kyle stood at the front of the group. Both of them wore tentative smiles. Their faces had regained some color and their facial bones were not as prominent.

Through the corner of my eye I noticed Alec slinking farther into the bed, cowering, trying to make himself as small as possible. It was not Simon and Jordan making him uneasy, but the other unfamiliar pairs of eyes scrutinizing him from the doorway.

"Officer Bane," Jordan greeted me.

I stood from my chair as he approached, but he walked straight past my extended hand and wrapped me in a tight hug. After a moment, I returned the hug, patting him on the back.

When he stepped away, Jordan said, "We just wanted to say goodbye to Alec."

"Of course."

I meant to sneak outside the room to give the boys some privacy, but the families of Jordan Kyle and Simon Lewis barricaded me inside. After accepting my inability to escape, I stood at the back of the room awkwardly, my hands clasped in front of me.

Jordan was the first to hug Alec. He was bigger in stature than Alec, but the way Alec's thin arms held the sixteen-year-old protectively and lovingly made my heart clench.

Without letting go, Jordan whispered, "Thank you for everything you did for me. I wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for you." He pulled back and handed Alec a small piece of paper. "If you ever need anything, give me a call. I'll always be there for you."

Simon stepped up next and he and Alec held each other tightly. I could hear sniffling from the emotional mothers standing beside me, and I had to blink back tears of my own. When Alec's arms fell away, Simon reached up and grabbed his shoulder.

"You sacrificed yourself for me, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. But I will be eternally grateful for what you did for me, what you did for us. I'm sorry about your family, Alec, but please know that you are loved. There will always be a place for you in my heart and in my home." He pointed at the piece of paper in Alec's hand. "My number is on there, too. You're not alone. You've got us."

Alec stared down at the paper in his shaking hand. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Amidst his sadness I could also see frustration. He stared with such an intensity that I thought the paper was going to burst into flames. But I came to the realization that he was trying to make sense of the markings on the paper. Alec's only friends had given him something special but he could not understand the meaning. I thought back to the day in my fifth grade math class when my teacher had called on me to answer a question. Hands had shot up around me; it felt as though everyone had known the answer except for me. The question had been so simple, but the humiliation and frustration of my perplexity had stolen the air from my lungs, made me feel like I was drowning.

Alec whispered a quick thank you to each of the boys before returning his full attention to the flower and piece of paper in his lap. He hunched over them, as if protecting the gifts with his body. Jordan and Simon turned away, smiling. Neither of them seemed particularly put out or surprised by Alec's behavior. They hurried over to their families and began to filter out of the room. I made sure Alec was too preoccupied to notice my absence before starting after them.

"Simon, wait."

The entire group stopped and turned to face me.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Jordan stepped forward, offering to come along, but Simon shook his head and stopped him. He then shuffled over to me, rubbing his arm nervously.

I lowered my voice so the others could not hear. "What did you mean when you said Alec sacrificed himself for you?"

Simon took a long while to gather his thoughts before replying, "They used to just threaten us, warning us that if we didn't do what they wanted, they'd beat us. They touched me and forced me to do things to them, but they had not yet—" Simon took a deep breath, "—raped me. The first time they tried to do it, Alec begged them to take him instead. And they did. Every time they came for me after that, Alec did the same thing. He sacrificed his body for mine, and they were brutal to him. They made me watch sometimes."

My legs went numb beneath me. I placed my hand on the wall to steady myself. Simon, who was reliving his horrific memories, was balanced on his feet. His eyes were haunted but his back was tall, strong against the weight on his shoulders.

"Alec tried but he couldn't fend them off forever. He talked me through it when it happened, tried to calm me down. I could barely hear him over my own screaming, but he never stopped trying to comfort me. They beat him for that. Regardless, every time those men came into the basement, Alec offered himself so they would leave me alone.

"It was no different when Jordan came along. Alec fought it for as long as he could, but they eventually took Jordan, too. I was too terrified to say anything. I shut my eyes. Alec tried to talk Jordan through it, just like he had with me. They beat me for closing my eyes and they beat Alec for not shutting up when they told him to.

"With there being three of us, the men came down more often. Alec begged them not to hurt us; he begged them to take him. Every. Single. Time. It didn't matter if they'd already taken him in exchange for me. When they tried to go after Jordan ten minutes later, Alec offered himself again. God, the things they made him do. . . The things they did to him. It didn't matter if it was sex or beatings, Alec was our shield. They separated Alec from us not long after, but we could still hear him shouting at them to leave us alone. He told them that we were just kids." Simon's watery eyes lifted to meet mine. "But Alec was just a kid, too."

When I said nothing, Simon wiped his eyes with his sleeve and turned away. I let him go. Before I went back into Alec's room, I sat on the floor in the hall and held my face in my hands. Tears threatened but did not spill over. I was feeling everything: rage, despair, admiration, misery, bewilderment. Luke had thought that Alec was sinking and I was going to get dragged under trying to help him. But he was wrong. Alec was treading water. I was the one who was drowning.