Hey! I am so sorry, everyone. I meant to upload this much sooner, but it took me way longer to write this chapter than expected. It's a doozy. A whole whopping 14 pages, so get comfortable. I was going to cut it short, but I couldn't bring myself to stop writing. The sadness is addictive. Didn't get into Alec's story as much as I would have liked, but that just means that it's on the way. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think! Cheers.

The station was buzzing, phones ringing every twenty seconds and officers running up and down the aisle. Tensions were running high due to the irritating pestering of the media. Reporters were constantly attempting to acquire snippets of information regarding Alec, Simon, and Jordan. After threatening the media with harassment charges, the number of calls coming in had lowered considerably. For the sanity and safety of the three boys, we were determined to keep them out of the media as much as possible. They were not to be bombarded by paparazzi or swarmed by reporters demanding answers to their questions. But there were still people who could not stifle their curiosity, who would do anything just to get a sniff at the reopened case.

I sat at my desk, engrossed in the stacks of paperwork piled in front of me like a fortress. My pen slid across the paper fluidly as I filled in the blank spaces with the appropriate information. My left hand reached for my cup of coffee and I brought it to my lips without stopping the gliding of my pen. Setting my mug down, I raked my fingers through my hair and squeezed the back of my neck. A familiar tension was gathering there, one that accumulated from sitting hunched over too long. Of course, it did not help that I had barely slept over the past couple days. I thought of Alec when I was awake, and I dreamt about him when I was asleep. I couldn't escape him, the same way he could not escape his nightmares.

The phone on my desk started ringing. I paused in the middle of a sentence, only to continue writing as I reached out and picked it up, bringing the receiver to my ear.

"Officer Bane," I answered briskly.

"Magnus? It's Cat."

My pen halted its path again. I set it down and leaned back in my chair, grateful for the distraction but uneasy about the unbidden call.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice neutral.

"I thought I should call and let you know that Alec is being discharged tomorrow."

I exhaled and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Christ. I thought I had more time."

"More time for what?"

"We're trying to set up a temporary living arrangement for Alec," I lied quickly. Catarina did not yet know about my plan to invite Alec to stay at my house. Like Luke, she would be reluctant about my offer, but for entirely different reasons.

"I'm glad I decided to call you after all. I wasn't planning on telling you until later, but I decided against it."

"Thank you, Cat. I appreciate it. Will you still be at the hospital later? I plan on stopping by after my shift."

"That's the other reason I called you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Your boss is here."

My eyes automatically shifted over to Hodge's office. The door was shut and there was no light glowing between the blinds.

"He gave me the okay to call you," Cat continued. "He's here to conduct Alec's interview. Magnus, Alec has requested your presence while he's being questioned."

My fingers coiled tighter around the phone. "Alec wants me there? Why?"

"You tell me. Magnus, did you tell Alec not to talk about what happened to him?"

"No, Cat. Jesus."

"Did he tell you things?"

"I haven't been fishing for information, if that's what you're insinuating," I said, exasperated.

"Of course not," Cat replied, sounding relieved. "I guessed Alec wants you there for support, but I had to be sure."

I glanced over at the clock. My shift didn't end for another hour. "Does Hodge want me there now?"

"He wants you to come to the hospital right away. He said he'll conduct the interview and then you're free to go home. I was also told, very gruffly I might add, to inform you that this will not be taken from your pay."

I smiled. Hodge had always shown fairness to his officers, even if it was in a stern manner. "Let them know I'm on my way."

"See you soon, B."

I hung up and dug through my drawer for my keys. Jumping to my feet, I jammed my arms into the sleeves of my jacket and made for the exit.

Luke glanced up as I passed his desk. "Where do you think you're going?"

"The chief has requested my assistance," I answered, walking backwards.

He shook his head. "Anything to kiss a little ass, huh?"

The grin on my face faded once I made it outside. The keys jangled in my shaking hand as I crossed the parking lot. Despite what Luke thought, I was not doing this for Hodge.

Catarina and Hodge were waiting for me outside Alec's room, speaking to each other in hushed voices. Cat sensed my presence first and looked toward me as I approached. She wore soft blue scrubs that complimented her eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun and a stethoscope hung around her neck. To keep her professionalism intact, she refrained from touching me, though she did incline her head in greeting.

"Dr. Loss," I said, inclining my head in turn.

"Officer Bane," she said formally.

Hodge cut in, "Thank you for coming, Magnus."

"Anything I can do to help," I responded, trying not to crumble under my chief's intense stare.

"We'll get started right away. Dr. Loss will be inside the room for monitoring purposes. If Alexander responds negatively to any of the questions, she, and only she, will tend to him. Understood?"

I nodded.

"I do not know what Alexander's intentions are in requesting your attendance, but at no point are you to interfere with the interview. We cannot make it seem as though we are manipulating the answers he gives us. You do not have authority to touch the victim while the interview is being conducted, nor are you allowed to speak to him. I will ask the questions, Alexander will give me the answers. These rules apply to the both of you. Is that clear?" Hodge's eyes darted between Cat and I.

"Affirmative," I answered.

"Yes, sir," Cat replied.

With a single nod, Hodge turned and opened the door behind him. We filed inside; Hodge first, then Cat, and finally me. I closed the door and positioned myself behind the chair Hodge had placed at the foot of Alec's bed. Cat stood at my side, arms folded across her chest. Only when Hodge seated himself did I chance a glance at Alec, but the nineteen-year-old was not even looking at me. He was staring into his blanketed lap, his curtain of dark hair shielding his eyes.

Hodge placed a small black object on the table that had been wheeled in front of him. "We're going to begin now, Alexander. Is that all right?"

Alec said nothing, just clasped his hands tightly in his lap.

Hodge pushed a button on the recording device and sat back in his chair. A clipboard I hadn't noticed before now rested in one of his hands. A pen waited in the other, at the ready. I wondered if the recording device was picking up the hammering of my heart.

"Can you please state your name?" Hodge asked, his voice as gentle as he could manage.

Alec hesitated. His face angled upwards enough that I could see hints of blue in his black bangs. His eyes searched for a moment before settling on me. I allowed the corner of my mouth to curve into a reassuring smile.

"Alexander Lightwood," Alec said quietly, his voice shaking as he recited his full first name.

"And how old are you, Alexander?"

Another pause. "Nineteen."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cat nodding her head approvingly, like a proud teacher watching her students recite their lines for a school play.

"Can you tell me what seven plus eight is?"

Alec stiffened. His eyes darted from me over to Cat and back to me, frantic for help. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from mouthing 'fifteen.' Everyone in the room knew that Alec had no mathematical skills, but Hodge's questions were strategic. The answer, of course, was fifteen, which would lead smoothly to Hodge's next query of what had occurred fifteen years ago.

"I just need a yes or a no, Alexander," Hodge prompted. "Can you tell me what seven plus eight is?"

Alec's pale cheeks flooded with a pink lustre. My heart clenched to see him embarrassed.

"No," he finally whispered.

Hodge nodded. "Seven plus eight is fifteen. That's a significant number, isn't it? Can you tell me what happened fifteen years ago?"

The teenager's body tensed. He pulled his legs slightly closer to his chest, his knees creating small bumps under the blanket. One of them began to rapidly bounce up and down, an action I'd come to recognize as a tic one exhibited out of nervousness or agitation. He murmured something too soft to hear.

"I'm sorry, I need you to speak more clearly," Hodge instructed.

Alec jumped at the firmness of Hodge's tone. He glanced at me again, his blue eyes pleading. When I could not summon a smile, I gave him the smallest of nods.

"They took me," he said, his voice hushed.

"You were abducted fifteen years ago?" Hodge repeated, for the clarity of the recording.

"Yes."

"Do you know who abducted you?"

Alec rested his forehead in his palm. To anyone else he likely appeared as though he was bored, but I recognized the way he was curling in on himself, the way he was hiding his face, the way he used his own hands to try and comfort himself. He was trying to block everyone out, to make everything disappear.

"Let me rephrase the question: Did you ever see the faces of your attackers?"

"No."

"Not once during those fifteen years?"

Alec's voice rose. "No!"

Beside me, Cat's arms dropped to her sides. She watched her patient intently.

"Did they wear masks?"

"Yes."

"Did they ever call each other by name?"

"No."

"Were your attackers male or female?"

Alec's fingers slid into his hair and tightened around the strands, pulling. "Two men."

"Two men?"

"Yeah."

"Alexander, you were held in captivity for fifteen years. What did your captors do to you while you were imprisoned in that house?"

"Bad things," Alec whispered.

"What kinds of bad things?"

Knowing Alec was not watching me, I shook my head. Jesus, Hodge. I knew it was imperative to get as much information as possible out of Alec, but scratching at his scars was going to make his wounds worse. I didn't want him to get used to the pain, I wanted him to heal.

Hand still fisted in his hair, Alec looked up at Hodge. I drew in a long breath to see the glimmering pools brimming at the bottoms of his eyes.

"Please. . ." he whispered.

Hodge was relentless. "Jordan Kyle and Simon Lewis both stated that they were sexually assaulted by your attackers. They also stated that you offered yourself to protect them. Is that true?"

With his free hand, Alec picked at a loose thread on the blanket. He drew in shallow, ragged breaths. Even from across the room, I could see the trembling of his limbs.

"Jordan and Simon told us that they witnessed you being forced to perform oral sex on your abductors. Your abductors also forced you to masturbate in front of them, and you were also forced to participate in anal sex. Are these claims true?"

"Stop it," Alec whimpered weakly.

"Please answer the question."

Alec's body began to rock forward and back rhythmically. His other hand found its way into his hair, snow-colored fingers twisting into ink-like tresses. "Please stop."

"Alexander, were you raped by your abductors?"

"Don't call me that!" Alec screamed.

Cat and I both jumped, startled by the outburst. Still rocking himself and clutching at his hair, Alec drew his knees up to his chest and sobbed into them. Between his cries and gasps for air, I could faintly hear Alec begging Hodge to stop. Cat hurried to Alec's side. She reached for his shoulder but Alec flinched away from her. I watched as she drew a capped syringe out of her pocket. She pulled the cap off and pushed the needle into the side of Alec's neck. Alec recoiled instantly, scrabbling on the bed to get away from her. The heart rate monitor still attached to Alec beeped in a mad frenzy, warning alarms blaring. Catarina reached for him, speaking in a soothing voice, but Alec cringed away from her, whimpering 'no' over and over and over.

Hodge, as calm as a meditating Buddhist, rose from his chair and switched off the recording device. Tucking his items under his arm, he dismissed me to go home and walked out of Alec's room without a backward glance.

I rushed over to Alec's bedside to help try and calm him, but the sedative Cat had injected him with was already taking effect. His muscles were beginning to relax and his eyelids were beginning to droop. I gently pushed on Alec's shoulder to recline him against the pillows.

"He'll be all right," Cat said, and I knew she wasn't referring to the effects of the sedative.

I nodded and offered a small smile. Cat's lips curved but the smile did not reach her eyes. She disposed of the syringe and left the room without comment. I stared at the open doorway, wondering if I should go after her. When I looked down, I saw that Alec's eyes were closed, damp trails on his cheeks the only remnants of his pain. His breathing had evened out. With my pulse leaping in my throat, I slid my hand across the mattress and under Alec's downturned palm. His fingers twitched and, ever so slightly, curled around mine.

The evening prior had been draining, both physically and mentally. I'd stayed with Alec for a while after his episode, watching over him as he slept. I regretted leaving before he woke up, but there were still things I had to get in order before his discharge. I'd left the hospital and gone straight to a small strip mall. There I'd stocked up on groceries such as soup, crackers, and ginger ale. My next stop had been a department store, where I'd picked up an array of clothing. My selection was a bit bland and the sizes were all different, but I knew they'd suffice until I figured out what suited Alec. It had felt awkward in the men's underwear section. I'd debated whether it was appropriate or not to buy Alec something, but in the end I'd thrown a couple pairs of boxers and a package of boxer briefs into the cart. He didn't have to wear them, but I wanted him to at least have a choice.

After shopping, I'd driven straight home to clean my house and wash Alec's clothes. I'd scrubbed the bathroom until all the surfaces shone and squeaked. It had taken me three attempts until I was satisfied with the sheets and blankets on the spare bed. There was not a wrinkle in sight. The cat hadn't been too impressed on being locked out of the room, but he quit his verbal assault when I'd given him an extra helping of dinner. I'd finally gotten to bed just after two in the morning.

Today, thankfully, was my day off. I pulled into a parking space in front of the hospital and pried my fingers from the steering wheel, wincing as the blood rushed back into my fingertips after my death grip. A quick glance in the rear view mirror revealed dark splotches under my yellow-green eyes. I had five hours of tossing and turning to thank for that. I grabbed the duffle bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car. My legs wobbled as I made my way into the hospital. My pulse was fluttering in my throat. I knew it was selfish of me, but I was nervous of Alec declining my offer. No matter how badly I wanted to protect him, it was still his choice.

Catarina was waiting outside Alec's room. I stopped short, surprised to see her. She hadn't returned before I'd left last night, and today was also her day off. So what was she doing here?"

She turned her head and spotted me. "There you are. I was waiting for you."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not unkindly.

Cat narrowed her eyes. "I work here. Nice duffle bag."

The nape of my neck tingled. The inflection of her voice suggested she'd already guessed my purpose for being here. I was about to get my ass handed to me.

"Cat—"

"Word through the grapevine is that you're taking him home with you."

"I am not taking him home with me. I'm offering him a place to stay. He hasn't said yes yet."

"Why do you feel like it's your responsibility to take care of him, Magnus? No one would think any less of you if you just stepped back and let this play out on its own."

"I would think less of me," I countered.

Cat shook her head. "Having Alec around you all the time is going to affect you. He's going to wear you down. Even if he sees a psychiatrist daily, Alec is going to be a lot to handle."

"So your solution is to wish him luck and send him off by himself to a shelter?"

"Of course not."

"Then what's the problem?"

Cat drew in a deep breath. "Alec is vulnerable right now, and so are you. You just got out of a relationship, and you've made some revelations about yourself. I know you've been really protective toward Alec, and sometimes protectiveness stems from affection."

I bristled. "Why don't you just come right out and say it, Catarina?"

Her eyes widened when I bit out her full name, but she continued calmly, "I just don't want you taking advantage of Alec."

I wish she would have slapped me instead. It would have hurt less.

"I think he's had his fill of being taken advantage of," I snapped, trying to shove past her.

"Magnus, wait." She grabbed my arm and handed me a small business card. "Take this. I made some calls and she's agreed to take Alec's case. She's young, but very skilled in her practice. Top of her class."

"Thanks," I muttered, shoving the card into my pocket and continuing on to Alec's room.

Cat did not follow me. I did not like arguing with my best friend. She was the only one who knew about my secret, and I trusted her whole-heartedly with it. But part of me regretted telling her about my preference of men to women. She still treated me like a human being, like nothing had changed, but sometimes she looked at me as though I was fragile. Getting defensive and trying to antagonize her was my way of reminding her of my strength. Bickering always brought us back together.

Alec was sitting upright when I sat in the chair beside him. It brought a smile to my face to see the rose I had given him cradled in his lap. He brushed his finger over the petals and surrounding leaves, a serenity about his face.

"Big day today," I said, setting the duffle bag on the floor.

Alec's hand froze. With a sigh, he cupped the crystalline vase in his hands and set it up on the table sitting on the other side of the bed. Still admiring the gift, he leaned back against the pillows.

I asked gently, "Do you know what's happening today, Alec?"

He nodded without looking at me. "They're sending me away."

"I want to talk to you about that."

Still he did not look at me. I wondered if he was embarrassed about his emotional outburst yesterday, or if he was upset with me for not stepping in to defend him from Hodge's questions. Either way, it was hurting me to see him avoiding my gaze.

"I want to invite you to live with me," I blurted.

Alec tensed. He kept his eyes trained on the rose as he reached up to scratch the bandages around his neck.

"You're more than welcome to stay at my house," I babbled. "It's just me there, and I have an extra room."

Finally he turned to look at me but I felt no victory when his gaze locked with mine. For the very first time, Alexander Lightwood was frightened by me. His blue eyes were wide and his jaw line was hard. Both of his hands were fisted in the blanket so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. My heart felt like it was being crushed.

"W-what about Jace?"

"We're doing all we can to contact him, but Jace can't help you for the moment."

Alec's expression turned desperate. "Can't I go home?"

I caught myself before mentioning Alec's deceased parents. "Jace put your old house up for sale when he left. It doesn't belong to you anymore."

Alec hid his face and twisted the blanket in his hands. I watched him as he tried to formulate a solution with his limited knowledge, his jaw working.

"Alec," I said, "it's entirely your choice. You don't have to stay with me, but if you refuse, your only other choice is to stay in a shelter. You'll be alone there with a bunch of people you don't know. I can't protect you if you stay in a shelter."

Guilt swelled in the pit of my gut. I was giving Alec a choice, but I was pressuring him into making the choice I wanted. I knew how to manipulate him, but I wasn't doing so to take advantage of him. My instincts were demanding me to take care of him. I couldn't bear the thought of him alone and frightened at a shelter. It was better for both our sakes if he chose to stay with me.

"What do you want me to do?"

"What do I want?"

Alec nodded. "What do you want me to do to repay you?"

I shook my head furiously. "Alec, no. You don't owe me anything. Do you understand? I'm inviting you to stay with me as a guest. There's nothing you need to do for me except rest and get better."

Alec searched my face. His eyes betrayed his doubt, as if he suspected I was lying to him.

"I won't hurt you, Alec," I promised. "I just want to take care of you."

Though he still looked reluctant, Alec nodded. I smiled and reached down for the duffle bag. Alec's IV had already been taken out and he'd been detached from the heart rate monitor. All that was left to do was get him changed into some civilized clothes.

I set the bag on the end of the bed. "I picked up some clothes for you. The sizes are all different so you might have to try a few things on to see what fits. I'll wait outside for you. When you're done I'll take you home."

I shut the blinds on the window and stepped outside of the room. While I waited, I approached the front desk and asked for Alec's discharge papers. The nurse handed me a clipboard and I took my time filling out the information. She smiled when I handed it back to her and indicated where I could find a wheelchair. I followed her instructions and carried the folded chair back to the room. Alec still had not emerged, so I busied myself with unfolding the chair and putting the footrests down.

After thirty minutes, I lightly rapped on Alec's door. There was no reply so I pushed the door open a crack. Alec was sitting on the end of the bed with his back to me. As far as I could see, he was fully clothed in a t-shirt and sweats.

"Alec?"

I stepped farther into the room. He was staring at the floor, his hands curled around his two most precious gifts: my rose and the paper Simon and Jordan had given him. His feet dangled off the floor, flip flops threatening to slide off his feet. Though it was not terribly cold outside, I regretted not finding him some warmer footwear. I walked around to crouch down in front of him and looked up into his eyes.

"I'm scared, Magnus," he whispered.

"I know," I said, restraining myself from touching him. Now was not the time. "But everything will be all right. I promised to take care of you, and I intend to keep that promise. Do you trust me?"

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. I smiled and straightened, reaching for the duffle bag on the bed. It took a minute of rifling through the contents before I found what I was looking for. I politely asked Alec to look at me and when he lifted his face, I set the ball cap on his head and adjusted it so it rested comfortably. My hands automatically reached to push Alec's hair out of his eyes. He flinched only slightly when I touched him, but I pulled my hand hastily away. Next I handed him one of my old zip-up hoodies. Alec set down his gifts and stood up. I knew he was wearing the smallest shirt from the bag, but it still hung loosely from his body. My hoodie swallowed him up, too. I only hoped that any media personnel lurking around the hospital grounds wouldn't look at Alec twice.

"All right," I said, trying my best to sound cheerful. "Ready to go?"

Alec reached for his gifts, but his hand froze in midair. "Can I— Am I allowed to take these with me?"

"Of course you can. They're yours."

Alec grabbed his only belongings and seated himself in the wheelchair as I instructed. I slung the duffle bag over my shoulder and pushed him out of the room. Alec shifted nervously in front of me. As far as I knew, he hadn't once left his room. This was his first time going through the hospital, and there was no doubt that the bustling of nurses and visitors was making him uncomfortable. Neither of us spoke as I wheeled him to the elevators, though I knew I should say something comforting. Nothing came to mind. The elevator doors slid open, and, luckily, we had it all to ourselves. As we descended to the ground floor, Alec jumped at the stomach-dropping sensation. I smiled to myself when he chuckled quietly.

The atrium was busy so we took our time maneuvering through the throngs of people. Just before we passed through the main entrance, Alec asked me to stop. I did so and hastily had to apply the brakes as Alec rose from the wheelchair. As an officer of the law, I understood the need to follow rules, but I was not about to inform Alec of the hospital's policy on wheeling patients out to their vehicles. He wanted to leave on his own two feet. This was his rebellion. This was his survival.

Leaving the wheelchair behind, I walked at Alec's side as he started cautiously for the exit. The automatic doors slid open as we approached. Alec gasped and latched on to my hand, squeezing my fingers tightly. I jolted but managed to restrain myself from jerking my hand away. In some ways, Alec's mental capacity was that of a child, which meant he was likely to respond to situations in the same manner. I had to be patient and coax him through those situations without caring how I looked or what other people thought of us.

I assured him that it was all right and gently tugged him through the open doorway. Alec's side pressed into mine as he followed, his fingers still gripping mine. He jumped as the second set of doors slid open but continued without stopping. I guided him across the hospital grounds to my car. Alec's head whipped around all the while, taking in the surrounding trees, buildings, and the open sky. When we reached my car, I helped Alec get settled into the passenger seat before tossing the duffle into the back and walking around to get in the driver's side. Alec watched in fascination as I started the engine and shifted into reverse.

I drove slowly on the way home, much to the agitation of the drivers behind me. Alec's face was all but glued to the window. Only when we were at a stoplight did his gaze fall to his feet as he avoided the eyes of the drivers beside us.

We finally pulled into my driveway and I killed the engine. Alec remained in his seat as I got out, yanking the duffle out of the backseat. I opened his door and reminded him how to unlatch his seatbelt. On shaky legs he slid out of the car and followed me up to the front door. My keys banged against the door as I unlocked it. The door swung open and I stood aside, inviting Alec in first. He passed by me on unsteady legs, but he did not get far before being ambushed by my cat.

"Sorry," I apologized as the ball of fur wound himself between Alec's legs. "It's just my cat. He's friendly but he'll trip you if you're not careful."

Alec stiffened as first but relaxed when the feline rubbed up against his shins, purring. Holding his gifts in one hand, he tentatively extended his hand downward. The cat craned his neck so Alec could scratch the top of his head.

"What's his name?"

"He doesn't have a name," I admitted, shutting the front door.

"Why not?"

"My girlfriend bought him shortly before she and I. . . broke up. She left him here and I just never got around to naming him."

"Oh," Alec said sadly.

I could hear the disappointment in his voice so I switched topics. "I'll show you to your room."

Alec followed me around the corner and down the hall. The cat pranced happily behind him, pleased by the attention Alec had given him. I pushed open the door to the spare room and stepped aside. Alec entered and looked at the double bed and the small dresser. There was a lamp and a couple books stacked on the small bedside table. Alec picked up one of the paperbacks and turned it this way and that, studying it curiously. I hadn't given any thought to storing them somewhere else. They made the room feel a little more. . . lived in.

The cat hopped up on the bed and began making a nest. I could have sworn he flashed me an evil smirk as he mussed the unwrinkled blankets. Ignoring the cat's smug satisfaction, I watched Alec set his flower and paper on the table, adjusting them to his liking.

"Would you like to have a shower?" I asked.

Alec's shoulders went visibly tight.

"It might feel better to get all the hospital gunk off," I added hastily.

He nodded and followed me to the bathroom. I handed him a fresh towel and showed him how to work the shower nozzle. New bottles of shampoo and body wash lined the edge of the tub. I'd been careful to buy different colored bottles, since he was unable to read. When he was clear on which was which, I made for the door.

"Just give me a shout if you need anything, okay?"

Without replying, Alec unzipped his hoodie and let it slide from his shoulders. He then grasped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up and over his head, displaying his naked torso. I was glad his eyes were averted so they couldn't see me scanning his flat stomach, his too-narrow hips, and his faintly-protruding ribs. When his thumbs hooked into the waistband of his sweats to push them down, I hastily turned.

"I'll be right outside," I called over my shoulder, closing the door behind me.

I felt his surprised gaze on me until the door separated us. Had he thought I was going to watch him strip down and shower? Was that what had been expected of him? I waited until I heard the shower running before making my way back to Alec's room. The dresser drawers had been emptied long ago, so I refolded the clothes from the duffle bag and put them away neatly. The cat threw an endless string of meows at me until I gave in and fed him. When there was nothing left to do, I sat down in the living room and turned on the TV, keeping the volume low in case Alec called for me.

After forty-five minutes I switched the TV off and made for the bathroom. The water was still running, but I knew from experience that the hot water did not last that long. I knocked quietly on the door, just loud enough for Alec to hear me over the shower. When there was no response, I opened and door and peeked inside. A thin haze of steam caressed my face. When it cleared I saw Alec sitting on the floor, his legs drawn up to his chest and his face pressed into his knees. He was clothed again but his damp hair clung to his face and neck. Without saying anything, I sat down beside him on the floor, pulled him into my arms, and held him while he cried.