All right. So. Problem with this story: I can't seem to contain myself and I end up writing super long chapters. This one was also 14 pages on Word. My sincerest apologies. I hope this chapter doesn't seem too slow. Hopefully the pace will be a bit quicker in my next post (not sure if that will be two weeks from now or not). Now, I know a lot of people are freaking out over my mentioning of a death scene. Let's just all take a deep breath...That won't be for a while yet, so let's just live in the moment, shall we? :) I shan't have my readers passing out from anxiety. I also had someone ask me if 1) Magnus is a pedophile and 2) if Magnus and Alec will be having a physical relationship. No, Magnus is not an evil perv in this fic; however, he and Alec will be having a (consensual) physical relationship later on. I will try to remember to post warnings for those who do not wish to read it. Before I take up too much of your time, I'd like to present the next chapter of Sacrifice. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you, everyone, for your reviews and follows! I'd be nothing without you! More reviews would be dandy! Cheers!

Alec emerged from his bedroom, wringing the hem of his t-shirt in his hands. I hastily shoved my phone into my pocket and rose from the couch. His eyes looked at me sheepishly from under his bangs before darting to the floor. He had removed the dripping bandages from around his neck, revealing the necklace of angry red bumps marring his skin.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I knew he was apologizing for crying. He'd sobbed in my arms for so long that I'd had to change my shirt when he'd finally calmed down. The soft cotton had been drenched in tears. "You don't have to apologize, Alec. It's okay."

He did not look at me again. The corners of his mouth were tight, almost as if he were grimacing or flinching. His body was tense, his shoulders hunched slightly. I'd seen this kind of stance before, in people who were expecting to be hit. Alec thought I was going to strike him. I assumed his abductors had not taken too kindly to Alec's tears in the past.

An awkward silence hung between us. After a moment, I invited him to sit down. Alec timidly joined me in the living room, giving me a wide berth as he passed. He picked a spot on the sofa across the room from me. The moment he sat down, the cat rushed across the floor and threw himself into Alec's lap. Alec jumped, digging his hands into the sofa's cushion. When the cat completed his customary circles and lay down in a ball, Alec relaxed and uncurled his fingers. He watched the animal in fascination, the corner of his lips tugging into a small smile.

At ease, I sat back down and reached for the remote beside me. "Would you like to watch TV?"

Alec tore his eyes from the cat and looked at me quizzically. "What's TV?"

Instead of trying to explain it to him, I switched on the screen and searched through the guide for something appropriate. News broadcasting channels were automatically ruled out, followed by crime dramas. I didn't think Alec would understand any soap operas or comedies, so I settled for a cartoon on the children's network.

Bright colors filled the screen as small animated characters sang and danced in the foreground. Alec's eyes widened, awed and bewildered. He leaned forward in his seat slightly as he gaped at this new discovery. I tried to hide my smile as I watched him. Looking at him now, I saw an average teenager. Small, but normal. There was not a trace of fear on him, nor was there any evidence of him having endured fifteen years of cruelty and terror. He did not look vulnerable; he looked. . . beautiful.

We sat quietly for a few hours, watching an endless stream of cartoons. Alec was completely captivated, no less engrossed than he had been after his first five seconds of experiencing television. I'd never been a fan of cartoons; the cheeriness and exaggerated attempts at humor annoyed me. But for Alec's sake I pretended to be interested. I relaxed into the couch and smiled at scenes that were supposed to be funny. It did not take long before I no longer had to pretend. For the first time in a long time, I was not alone in my house. There was a sense of normality to my life, just sitting around and watching TV with a friend. For the first time in a long time, I felt content.

It was during one of the commercial breaks that I noticed Alec move through the corner of my eye. I glanced over and saw him reclining into the sofa, his eyes narrowed in pain. His fingers were knotted in his shirt again. Sensing Alec's discomfort, the cat roused from his nap and twisted his head to look up at Alec from over his shoulder. When I asked if he was all right, Alec nodded without comment and went back to watching TV. I continued watching him. Whatever he was experiencing vanished and returned intermittently. One minute he would be fine and the next he would be hunched over, what little color there was left in his face draining away. I asked him again if he was feeling okay and got the same response. Just as I readied myself to get off the couch, I heard it: a low but distinguished rumbling. Alec grimaced and the cat meowed in protest as the legs under him shifted.

"Do you need something to eat?" I asked.

Alec hesitated only a moment before nodding frantically. Cursing inwardly, I hurried into the kitchen and pulled a new box of crackers from the cupboard. After filling a glass with water, I grabbed a handful of crackers and rushed back into the living room. The cat had abandoned Alec's lap but had not wandered far. Alec was curled in on himself, clutching at his stomach. I urged him to sit up and pressed the water and crackers into his hands. He took a sip from the glass and began nibbling at the edge of a cracker. I did not have to remind him to eat slowly for his starved stomach.

"I'm sorry," I said gently. "I lost track of time. I should have made lunch for you a while ago."

"It's okay," Alec whispered, taking another small bite.

I crouched down in front of him so he would look at me. "Alec, you have to tell me when you're hungry. Remember what I told you? You don't need permission to eat anymore."

His eyes glimmered. I could see doubt swimming in the blue depths. My words of comfort had not yet liberated him. Fifteen years of unspeakable punishments rendered him unable to trust me, and though I certainly didn't blame him for that, it still tore at me to be thought of as a possible threat. I'd saved him from the house, but I had not saved him from the torture.

When Alec did not respond, I asked, "Do you want me to make you some soup?"

He shook his head. "I don't feel good."

I resisted the urge to touch the back of my hand to his forehead. "The crackers and water will help."

True to my word, a touch of color returned to Alec's cheeks as he continued to eat. The color of his eyes brightened and he was able to sit up straighter. When he was finished, the cat jumped up into his lap and made himself cozy. Alec tentatively stroked the feline's head as he returned his attention back to the cartoon on the TV. I traded my place on the couch for the spot on the floor right in front of him. Either he was too absorbed in the cartoon to notice or he was comfortable with my close proximity. I chose to believe the latter.

The remainder of the evening consisted of more cartoons and a dinner of soup and crackers. Alec finished only half his bowl, but I did not press him to try and eat more. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally make him vomit. I made a mental note to ask Cat how much Alec should be eating on a regular basis, and how I was to go about gradually increasing his food intake.

The sky outside darkened in a blur and I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open. When I checked the time, I was shocked to find it was nearly midnight. Since I had another day off, I did not need to get up early to go to work, but I had been running short on sleep lately and there were still things I had to do tomorrow, calls I needed to make.

It stumped me to think of what I was supposed to say to Alec. Was I supposed to ask him if he was ready for bed? That would give him the option of saying no, which I wanted to avoid since there was no way in hell I was going to be able to keep my eyes open for much longer. I couldn't just tell him that it was time to turn in. Such commanding authority could frighten him, especially if he jumped to the conclusion that we were going to share a bed.

The TV screen went dark as I pushed the power button on the remote. Alec stared for a moment, confused, before lowering his tired eyes to me.

"We should get some sleep," I murmured.

Just as I suspected, Alec's response was panic. His body went rigid and his eyes widened, the pupils dilating enough to nearly drown the blue irises in black. His lips worked as he tried to concoct an excuse, but he did not speak, did not dare to argue with me. I hated that I had unintentionally caused him such anxiety, but I did not know how to assuage his apprehension without making it worse. I settled for offering a consoling smile and keeping an adequate distance from him.

Alec followed me to his bedroom silently. I checked the doors and flicked off lights along the way. Inside his room, I turned on the bedside lamp and pulled back the blankets on the bed. Alec waited for permission before climbing under the covers. His expression was befuddled, almost flustered, as he shifted around in search of a comfortable position. I moved for the doorway but stopped before leaving the room.

"I'm just going to have a shower and then I'll be going to bed. My room is just down the hall if you need anything. Feel free to sleep with the lamp on."

Alec nodded and turned onto his side so his back was facing me. I watched his small frame curl into a ball under the blankets. I murmured a soft 'goodnight' before making my way to the bathroom. I kept the door open a crack in case Alec called for me while I was in the shower, but the house was quiet aside from the spray of water. When I finished towelling off and changing into fresh clothes, I started for my bedroom. But before I climbed into bed, I decided to quickly check up on Alec. I padded down the hallway and peeked into his bedroom.

The bed was empty.

Panic flared in my chest. Had he fled the house while I was in the shower? As I turned to race farther down the hall, I caught a soft noise from inside Alec's bedroom. It was a sniffle. Muffled, like someone choking back tears. I stepped inside and walked around the side of the bed. Slowly, I lowered myself onto all fours and looked underneath. There, huddled in the tight confines under the bed, was Alec. Even in the dim light, I could see his tear-streaked cheeks and the trembling of his body. His eyes met mine and I heard the soft patters of fresh tears against the floor.

His words from the hospital resonated inside my head: "I'm scared, Magnus." Followed by my reply: "I know."

Alec suddenly unfolded one of his arms and reached out to me, his palm upturned. It was impossible for me to squeeze in the space under the bed, so I positioned myself on my stomach with my cheek resting on my arm and reached my left hand for his. His fingers were cold against mine. Alec squeezed my hand, still crying quietly.

I stayed like that for the rest of the night, not daring to fall asleep until Alec did first.

Rolling my shoulders, I titled my head to both sides to work the cricks out of my neck. Sleeping on the floor all night had not come and gone without some painful reminders. The dull ache in the rest of my body did not make me bitter for my sacrifice, but I did miss the softness of my pillows and mattress. The floor had been unforgiving, and getting to my feet this morning had resulted in numerous pops and cracks of my bones and joints.

Alec squirmed in the passenger seat beside me, twiddling his fingers in his lap. He'd been quiet all morning, only nodding or shaking his head when I asked him questions. Sleeping on the hard floor hadn't seemed to have any effect on him, but he'd had plenty of practice sleeping in a locker over a span of years. Now, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, rubbing my eye with the heel of my hand.

Alec remained silent. In truth, we both knew what he was referring to. Despite what I'd told him the day before, he was apologizing again for crying. And he was apologizing for sleeping on the floor inside of in the bed I had provided for him. I wanted to ask why he'd chosen the floor, but I'd come up with three logical conclusions on my own: One being that the bed was too comfy, something he was not used to. Another thought was that being on the mattress surrounded him in open space. Again, tight confines were what he was used to. My final guess was that Alec knew I could not fit under the bed. Perhaps that limitation had made him feel safe, protected from me. Of course, if that had been the case, I couldn't help but wonder why he'd held my hand the entire night.

I yawned. "Don't worry about it, Alec. There's nothing to forgive. Really."

Alec glanced out his window. "Where are we going?"

"To a friend's," I answered simply.

He did not pry, which I appreciated. Instead he just looked out the window as we drove into a friendly neighborhood with small houses and massive oak trees lining both sides of the street. Most of the leaves had already dropped to the ground, but no beauty had been lost in the orange, yellow, and brown speckling the road. I turned left off the street and into the driveway of a white house with a red door. I turned off the engine and inhaled deeply, preparing myself.

"Just stay behind me and don't say anything, okay?" I instructed gently.

Alec nodded and undid his seatbelt. He waited for me on his side of the car before we followed the tidy path up to the front door. The playful shrieks of children could be heard in the distance. Alec looked around for the sources of the noise as he waited on the bottom step. Swallowing my pride, I rang the doorbell and descended the first step, positioning myself directly in front of Alec's small frame.

Rustling could be heard from inside the house before the red door swung open. A blonde woman with green eyes stood in the doorway. She was clad in a white lace shirt and dark skinny jeans that hugged her curves. Red stiletto heels covered her feet even though she was inside. Her blonde hair was neatly curled and hung over her shoulders, resting above the swell of her breasts. The broad smile she wore disappeared the instant her eyes fell on my face.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," she spat.

"Hello, Camille," I said politely.

Camille pointed a red manicured finger at me. "I have nothing to say to you."

"I know you're pissed at me, but I'm here to ask for a favor."

"You can take your favor and shove it up Ragnor Fell's ass. That's what you like doing with your dick, isn't it?"

I flushed. Ragnor Fell had been the man I'd left Camille for. He was the first man I'd ever been with, and the experience had not been a pleasant one. "You might want to speak up. I don't quite think all your neighbors heard you."

"Get off my property, douche bag." Camille moved to slam the door.

I lurched forward, holding my arms out in front of me. "Wait, wait, wait!"

Camille paused, half of her body concealed by the door. She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and pursed her lips in annoyance.

"Have you heard about the three boys that were rescued recently?" I questioned.

"The Alexander Lightwood case? Yeah." She narrowed her dark-lashed eyes. "What do you want? A congratulations?"

"You're one of the best tutors in the city. You've helped kids of all ages excel in their studies."

"Where are you going with this, Magnus?"

I exhaled and stepped aside, revealing Alec. Camille's eyes widened and her fingers moved to cover her agape mouth. Alec rubbed his arm under her gaze, only making eye contact with her briefly.

"Are you willing to take another student?"

Camille opened the door fully and pressed her hand to her chest. "How am I supposed to help him?"

"Just teach him the basics for now. Reading, writing, math."

"I don't think—"

"I'll pay you," I cut in. "Generously."

Greed flashed in her money-colored eyes, if only for a moment. She recovered quickly and folded her arms across her chest, pushing her hip out. I knew she would have a sense of satisfaction from me paying her. In her mind, I was admitting that I was in the wrong about our breakup and now I was reimbursing her for it. This was me grovelling at her high-heeled feet.

With an exaggerated sigh, Camille spun on her heel and strode into her house, waving for us to follow. I let Alec walk ahead of me, trying not to be ashamed that I was using him as a buffer. We followed Camille through the entryway to the living room. I fought to not wrinkle my nose at the leather furniture, gleaming hardwood floors, massive flat screen TV, and expensive fireplace. Camille's expensive tastes had not changed. She seated herself in a leather recliner and crossed one leg over the other.

"How many sessions per week? And when would you like to start?" she queried curtly.

"As many as you see fit, and you can start today if you have time."

Her lips tightened in aggravation. She glared at me for a moment before flashing a warm smile at Alec. She patted the open seat next to her. "Please sit down, sweetheart."

Alec did not move until I persisted. His steps were slow and cautious as he moved to sit down. Once seated, he let his hair fall over his eyes.

"Alexander—"

"Alec," I interrupted.

Camille glowered at me.

I finished firmly, "He goes by Alec."

"Alec, do you know the letters of the alphabet?"

Alec shook his head.

"Can you count to ten?"

Another head shake.

"If I gave you a piece of paper and a pencil, would you be able to write your name for me?"

Alec shook his head for the third time. Camille clutched her knee, frustration evident in her tight grip. She rose from the recliner and marched up to me, her heels clacking on the floor. I'd always hated the sound. Women in heels intimidated me. If Hodge ever wore a pair of heels, I doubted I'd be able to control my bladder.

"You're giving me nothing to work with," she hissed into my ear. "The kids I've tutored have had basic skills at the very least."

"You haven't refused my offer," I whispered back.

Her jaw clenched. "We'll discuss my price later. Now would be a good time to say goodbye to your bank account, Magnus."

For the next hour, I sat quietly as Camille recited the first four letters of the alphabet over and again with Alec. She discussed the sounds of the letters and showed him what they looked like on paper. Even after sixty minutes of sitting next to her, Alec had not warmed up to Camille. She had been nothing but patient and gentle with him. She was a completely different woman with him than she was with me. I hadn't known she was capable to such kindness. But Alec was not at ease next to her. He was tense and did not speak when she encouraged him to say the letters with her. Maybe he was shy of her, or maybe the learning process was daunting. I hoped it would get better over time.

When Camille showed no signs of stopping quite yet, I reached into my pocket for my phone. As I pulled it out, something fluttered to the floor. I bent over and picked it up, turning it over. The jeans I wore were the same pair from yesterday, and I had forgotten all about the card Cat had given me. The name of the psychiatrist and her office's number were neatly printed on the front. I figured now would be a good time to schedule Alec to see her.

As I got up from my seat, Alec's head snapped up and followed my movements. I made for the entryway, already dialing the number. I'd make the call outside where my voice wouldn't be a distraction.

"Magnus—" Alec began.

"Stay here," I said without looking back.

A breeze had picked up outside, tossing up the leaves in a twirling dance and carrying the comforting scent of the damp outdoors. Closing the door behind me, I seated myself on the front steps and stared at the name on the card. I couldn't be sure, but I thought—

A cheerful voice interrupted my thoughts. "Dr. Fray's office. How may I help you?"

"Uh, hi," I stammered. "My name is Magnus Bane."

"What can I do for you, Mr. Bane?"

"I'm not sure if she spoke to you directly, but my friend Catarina Loss called your office the other day."

"Ah yes. Dr. Loss mentioned you would be phoning. Is this in regards to Alexander Lightwood?"

"Yes. Um, he goes by Alec," I clarified, remembering his outburst during his interview. "Alexander is kind of a trigger for his anxiety."

"I'll mention that to Dr. Fray. Now that you've called, I'd like to inform you that she has tentatively booked Alec for an appointment tomorrow morning at eight. Will that work for you?"

My shift did not start until nine tomorrow, but I had no idea how long each session lasted. "Do you know how long the appointment will be?"

"Typical appointments are an hour," the receptionist explained politely. "They can be booked for two hours, but considering it will be the initial meeting with the client, I think it will be under an hour."

"That's perfect."

"All right. I'll go ahead and book him in."

Over the faint clacking of nails on a keyboard, I heard the door behind me swing open. Camille called my name. I looked over my shoulder and nearly dropped my phone. Her eyes were wild and her skin was pale. There was no mistake that her adrenaline had stemmed from fear. I thanked the receptionist and hung up without waiting for a reply. Jumping up from the stairs, I followed Camille as she rushed inside.

Alec was on the floor in the living room. He rocked back and forth against the recliner, his arms wrapped around his torso and his knees drawn up to his chest. The gasping breaths he drew in were strangled and inhuman.

"He said he couldn't breathe," Camille said in a rush.

I raced forward and dropped to my knees in front of Alec. His eyes were on my face, but the light behind them was distant. His hyperventilating intensified. If I couldn't calm him down, he was going to pass out.

Against my better judgement, I grabbed Alec's shoulders and shook him slightly. "Alec, it's okay. I'm right here. I need you to take a deep breath for me."

His breathing pattern did not change. My hands moved from Alec's shoulders to his face. "Alec, look at me."

His eyes had never left mine, but now I felt him see me.

"You have to calm down, okay? Take a deep breath through your nose."

He tried and only sucked in anther ragged gasp of air.

"Like this." I inhaled deeply through my nose and let it out, repeating the process over and over until Alec finally managed to copy me. "Good. One more time. . . And again. You're okay, Alec."

After a few more breaths, Alec's breathing finally became controlled. He'd stopped rocking back and forth, but his arms, still wrapped around his torso, were quavering. My hands were still cupping Alec's cheeks.

"You left me," he whispered.

"What?"

"I thought you were leaving me here."

Jesus Christ. He'd thought I was leaving him with Camille. Of all people, Alec had the strongest misconception on what prices and payments meant. It had not been clear to him that I was not giving him to her. He'd called out for me when I'd left and I'd told him to stay put without looking back. I knew now how that must have looked in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling him into my shoulder.

As I held Alec, I glanced over and found Camille watching us. Her usual arms-crossed-hip-out stance lacked its signature sassiness. She did not say anything, just inclined her head and turned away, disappearing down the hallway. Her actions were clear enough without words: Class dismissed.

A quick trip to the hospital had confirmed the symptoms of a panic attack. Cat performed a thorough check up to make sure Alec was fine before sending us home. I'd been grateful that my best friend was there to help me. She'd explained the early warning signs of the attacks and had even complimented me on handling the first episode. She'd been thrilled that I was taking Alec to meet Dr. Fray in the morning, and had gone out of her way to prescribe Alec some sleeping pills when I'd told her about his first night at my place. We'd left shortly after that, but not before Cat had pulled me into the tightest, most meaningful hug. With Alec's help, I'd then picked out a bouquet of flowers for her and had them delivered as a heartfelt thank you.

That night had played out in a familiar roll of events. Alec and I watched cartoons and ate soup and crackers for dinner. When we'd gone to sleep that night, I'd been smart enough to haul extra blankets and pillows into the bedroom. Alec slept under the bed and I slept on the floor, and neither of us had any complaints.

Today marked the first meeting with Alec's psychiatrist, a fundamental foothold in his recovery. I planned to stay with Alec through the entire appointment, but I did not know if Dr. Fray would allow me to sit in during their meeting, what with patient confidentiality and all.

Both of us were quiet as I drove to the office building. Alec was glued to my side after I'd parked the car and began guiding him inside. We walked through the lobby and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. Alec got a kick out of the weightless sensation, which brought a smile to my face. Once inside the right office, we approached the front desk. I recognized the receptionist's voice from the call I'd made yesterday. If she was upset over my abrupt hang up, she did not show it. We hadn't been sitting for three minutes before a young woman stepped into the waiting room and called Alec's name. My jaw fell open the instant I saw her. Her red hair and green eyes were unmistakeable. She was the girl in the photos on Luke's desk, a spitting image of her mother. This was Jocelyn Fray's daughter, and Jocelyn Fray was Luke's girlfriend. Heat flooded my cheeks when I thought back to teasing Luke about growing facial hair to please his future stepdaughter. It seemed almost unfathomable that this esteemed psychiatrist was my age.

Clary led us into her office, which was comfortably lit with soft lights. Beige walls gave off a bit of warmth to the room. A bookcase jammed from top to bottom with books rested against the far wall. On the opposite side sat a large oak desk. I noticed a laptop, an appointment book, and several framed photos spread out over the surface. I wondered if Luke was in any of them. In the middle of the room were three chairs, one facing the other two. Clary indicated for us to seat ourselves in the two sitting side by side before seating herself.

"Alec, I'm Dr. Fray. It's a pleasure to meet you." She extended her hand, waiting patiently until Alec unfroze and shook it. She then turned to me. "You must be Officer Bane."

"Magnus," I said, taking her small hand in mine.

"Dr. Loss spoke very highly of you on the phone."

"She's told me great things about you as well."

Clary smiled and turned to Alec. "I know this may be frightening for you, but I would like to assure you that this is a safe place. I ensure complete confidentiality with all my clients, which means nothing you say will leave this room. Now, I'd like to see you five times a week, one hour per appointment. We can extend that if you feel the need, but for now it's a good start. You can speak to me as much or as little as you like. I'm not here to judge you, I'm not here to diagnose you. I'm here to listen and to help you. Do you understand?"

Alec nodded. Clary smiled and leaned back in her chair. The lights in the room emphasized the freckles on her nose. She pulled a notebook and pen from their place tucked in the cushion and opened to a random page, her pen poised to write. Alec said nothing but I could see Dr. Fray scrawling something on the page. Was she assessing his appearance? Was she making an inference of the two of us walking in together? Was she doodling? I cleared my throat awkwardly.

Clary glanced at me over her notebook and smiled at Alec. "Remember, you can say as much or as little as you like. There are no judgements here."

So we sat in silence for the next forty minutes, with nothing to break the quiet other than the ticking of a wall clock and the scratching of pen on paper. Alec stared into his lap the entire time, hardly moving. I shifted in my chair from time to time, trying not to draw attention to myself. That earned me several chastising glances from a psychiatrist half my size. Finally, Clary closed her notebook and tucked it away.

"I think that will be all for this session. Alec, you've done very well for your first time. I'm going to borrow Magnus for a moment, if that's all right. We won't be long."

Alec looked about to protest, but, as usual, said nothing. My fingers brushed over his shoulder as I followed Clary out of the room. She closed the door firmly and looked up at me with warm green eyes.

"Is that normal?" I asked. "For a client to not say anything the entire time?"

She shrugged. "It happens."

"I don't see the point in him coming if he's never going to say anything."

"I need Alec to trust me. If sitting in silence is what it takes to get him to open up, we'll just have to be patient. Trust doesn't happen just because you book an appointment for it."

I nodded. "Thank you for letting me sit in today. He tends to get nervous when I'm not around."

"That's a habit I'm afraid we'll have to break," Clary stated simply. "He's showing a certain dependency on you, and I will never have Alec's full trust if he needs you at his side giving him permission to speak."

I staggered at her words. "It's not like that."

"I do not mean to offend you," Clary rectified. "Just let me be clear in saying Alec will have to learn to be strong without you. I allowed you to join the session today to put Alec at ease. From now on, I ask that you remain in the waiting room during our sessions."

Good luck with that. "Of course."

"You're free to go. I'll have Alec scheduled in for the rest of the week. Does the same time work for you?"

"Sure."

Clary shook my hand once again before stepping back into her office. She spoke softly to Alec before sending him out. I uttered a thank you to the receptionist as we passed, which she returned with a friendly goodbye. I escorted Alec back to the car and drove to the station. More silence hovered between us.

As we waited at a red light, I said, "I hope you don't mind hanging out at the station today."

Alec looked over at me. "Will you be there?"

"Of course."

He nodded. "Then it's okay."

I found myself growing steadily more nervous as I pulled into the station's parking lot. Hodge and I were about to have a discussion, and I wasn't sure how he was going to react. I hadn't expected taking care of Alec to be so. . . restricting. My original plan had been to have him spend the day with Camille while I worked. She would incorporate his therapy sessions into their lesson plans. But Alec's separation anxiety had been an unexpected surprise. I couldn't leave him with Camille and I couldn't leave him at home. Bringing him to the station limited me to paperwork, since there was no way Luke and I could bring Alec in the car on patrol. Just the thought of eight hours of reports made my head hurt.

Alec followed me into the station and down the aisle to a room at the back. I could feel the curious stares of my fellow officers on us but no one voiced any comments. The room at the back was mainly for storage, and I hoped what I needed was still in there. Flicking on the light, it only took a few minutes before I spotted a small box. I pulled it from its spot on the shelf and headed back to my desk, Alec in tow. He sat in my chair and watched as I set some children's books in front of him, along with some crayons and blank pieces of paper. There were toys in the box, used to for young witnesses and victims brought into the station, but I left them there to avoid insulting Alec. I wasn't even sure he'd know what to do with them.

"What are these?" Alec asked, keeping his hands clasped in his lap.

"These books have some pretty neat pictures. Maybe you can look through them and find some of the letters Camille showed you yesterday." I slid the paper and crayons closer to him. "Or you can draw something." I quickly demonstrated by pulling a blue crayon from the box and sketching a happy face in the corner of the paper.

Alec stared at the paper, intrigued even though it was far from a masterpiece.

"Listen, I have to talk to my boss for a minute. I'll be in that office right over there." I pointed to the door. "You'll be able to see me the entire time. Just promise not to go anywhere, okay?"

Alec glanced at the office, then at me, and slowly nodded. I felt his eyes on me as I made my way over to Hodge's office. A gruff voice invited me in after I knocked. The chief looked up at me as I slid inside and shut the door behind me. He clicked his laptop mouse a couple times before reclining in his chair.

"What can I do for you, Magnus?"

I clasped my hands behind me so he wouldn't see their fidgeting. "I hate to ask this, sir, but is it all right if Alec spends the day here?"

Hodge leaned forward and gazed out the office window. I followed his glance and was surprised to see that Alec was not watching us. The nineteen-year-old was bent over my desk, trying to figure out how to hold a crayon.

"This isn't a daycare facility," Hodge reprimanded, albeit gently.

"I'm aware of that. It's just temporary. There were complications with my original plans."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by temporary?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm afraid I don't have an answer to that. Alec will have to stay with me until I can find someone's he comfortable with to watch him, or until he's comfortable enough to be at home by himself."

"That could be anywhere between the next two weeks and the next two years."

"If it makes it any easier, I'm willing to take reduced shifts so Alec isn't here for long periods of time."

"You want me to cut your hours back considerably?"

"Alec will stay out of the way. I'll make sure of it. He won't bother—"

Hodge held up his hand, cutting me off. He watched me for a long while, his gray eyes hard. "Since you have no social life, you racked up a lot of holiday time that has yet to be used. Following your shift today, I'm marking you down for a temporary leave. Take as long as you need, but you'll only be paid until your holidays run out."

"I— A-are you sure?" I stuttered.

"I could just fire you, if that's what you prefer."

"No, no," I said hastily. "A holiday sounds good."

"Good." Hodge returned to typing on his laptop. "Now get back to work. And feel free to take home some of that paperwork. I hate having to look at it."

"Thank you, Hodge."

His only reply was a small huff. I left his office and made my way back to my desk, trying to conceal my smile. Alec had finally figured out the art of holding a crayon and was busying coloring. He glanced up as I approached and hastily flipped the paper over to hide his work.

"Hey," I greeted him. "What have you got there?"

"Nothing." Alec began gathering the crayons spread out on the desk.

"Did you draw something?"

He shrugged.

I extended my hand. "May I see it?"

Alec was still for a minute before giving another shrug. That simple movement left me feeling unnerved. He was not refusing, but at the same time he was not giving me permission. Different guesses of his artwork flashed inside my head: A collage of smiley faces replicating mine, all drawn in different colors; a child-like depiction of the cat; stick figures with Xs for eyes and covered in blood; the masked faces of his attackers; men or boys with exposed genitalia.

Nervous to look but too concerned to not take a peek, I reached out and gently took the paper in my hand. I flipped it over and felt a numbness spread from my chest all the way to my extremities. None of my guesses had been correct, but there was no relief in seeing what Alec had drawn.

In truth, he hadn't really drawn anything. The entire page was covered in black, traced over and over with thick lines. What troubled me the most was that even the smiley face I had drawn was colored over, and Alec had pressed the crayon so hard that it had ripped through the paper.