The water in the Amity showers is cold by the time I get there. Fucking cold. Maybe it's always cold. Maybe the peace loving freaks enjoy taking cold showers. I do not enjoy taking cold showers and the icy water is making my already sore muscles even tighter. It will probably feel good on Caleb's sunburn though. Where did that come from? Why is Caleb's sunburn popping into my head, or his name, for that matter? When did I stop calling him "stiff" and start calling him by name? But you know the answer to that. And I do. I remember looking across the basket at him as he dug in the dirt, his shirt too big and hanging open, a deep flush spreading down his chest. I see the big smudge of dirt on his cheek. I say his name, and I look in his eyes, and I touch his face. I'm a little startled by the intensity of the memory.

I want to say his name again. "Caleb" I say, to the empty bathroom.

"Um...Yes?" comes the answer from directly behind me.

I twist around, wrenching my back. I try not to wince but I feel like he catches me. He's standing there, fully clothed, wringing a towel in his hands. I didn't hear him come in. How long has he been standing there? I turn back into the frigid spray. "Did you just come in to watch, Stiff?"

He is silent. I glance over my shoulder and see that his 'sunburn' is darkening. He hasn't moved from the doorway. I turn the shower off and step out. I watch his eyes dart away to avoid seeing me as I dry my hair. I decide to have mercy on him, wrap my towel around my waist. "Your sister has a thing about nudity too". I walk towards him, bringing my body very close to him in the doorway. He stands his ground, for a moment. I'm impressed.

"It's hard to shake the culture you were brought up in" he says as he darts around me and walks toward the shower. "Abnegation definitely errs on the side of modesty". He hesitates, as he gets to the shower and realizes I'm still standing in the doorway, watching him. He stares me down. It almost feels like an accident, but he commits to it. After a moment, he tugs his shirt off over his head. Wow, he's beautiful. I can feel a knot tightening in my abdomen. He's long and lean, muscles small but visible on his thin frame, and his skin looks like it would be soft and warm to the touch. Above his trousers, there is a gentle curl of golden hair-

"Peter" he says and I feel a hard tug on the knot in my abdomen. If he has ever said my name before, I don't remember it.

I look into his eyes. "I wanted to thank you for your help today". I nod, voiceless. "I really..." He's twisting the towel again. "I'm very grateful. I'm sorry Beatrice was so..."
"Don't worry about it. She hates me. That's not news."
"Well, I'm sorry anyway."
"If you make apologizing for your sister your responsibility, you'll never have time for anything else."
"I'm sure she doesn't hate you"
"She does. And she has her reasons. I'm surprised she hasn't told you."
"Hatred isn't something we're taught in Abnegation"
I laugh. "Hatred isn't something that can be taught."

He turns away from me, and I stand watching his back. He turns the shower on, sticks his hand under it. "Ugh, it's cold!"
"Don't blame me, it was cold when I got here."
He turns around, looks at me for another long moment, silent.
"I wasn't going to blame you Peter."

He starts to unbutton his trousers and I force myself to turn and leave the bathroom. I think I walk back to my room without breathing but I can't remember. In my head, I hear him say my name over and over again. I lay facedown on the bed and think how much more I like my name when he says it. I try not to wonder what the icy water looks like as it streams across his smooth, soft skin.