Hi, everyone! So this is it. The absolute last chapter of Sacrifice. I know a lot of people have asked for a sequel, but I'm not really sure how I'd go about continuing this. All things must come to an end. I just hope it meets your expectations. This was the most difficult story I've written, and it did get rough for me, but I'm so glad I wrote it. The responses from the previous chapter were so heart-warming, so thank you to everyone who left reviews! I couldn't have completed this without you. I hope you're smiling at the end of this chapter. :) This is goodbye!...For now. Cheers! Happy reading, you amazing readers!

Epilogue

The first few days after Alec left were the hardest. . .

Well, that was a lie. The first few weeks after Alec left were the hardest. . .

Aw, who was I kidding? The first few months after Alec left were the hardest. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to come to terms with his departure. Just when I finally started to feel okay, I'd spot one of his favorite cartoons on TV, or stumble on the picture of us together on my phone, or mistake a stranger with dark hair and a slim build for him. Memories of him chased me. I never wanted to forget Alec. . . but I knew I should.

We'd corresponded almost on a daily basis for the first month after Alec had left. Mostly we texted, but sometimes Alec called. He'd catch me up on his day's activities in such a giddy rush that if I tuned out for even a nanosecond, I'd be lost for the rest of the conversation. He always sounded happy when he called, and I was ashamed to admit that that made me jealous. Jace was making sure that Alec was being nurtured and cared for, but in my absurd mindset, Jace was replacing me. I remembered what it felt like to make Alec smile, to see his eyes light up like sunshine through blue glass. I wanted to make Alec happy. Though he ended every conversation with "I miss you," I couldn't help but feel as though there was detachment behind his voice. The words were never said emptily, but they seemed more of an obligation than a declaration.

The calls came less and less as the weeks passed by. Even our texting grew less frequent. Alec offered no excuses and I never asked for any. I was simply happy to speak to him whenever he had the time. Sometimes this made me feel pathetic, but that never stopped me from checking my phone every twenty minutes for a new message. Needless to say, it hit me pretty hard when the texts stopped coming altogether. Alec did message me on holidays, but we never had a full conversation, just exchanged salutations and well wishes. I'd typed up many messages and sat with my thumb hovering over the send button many times, debating the risks of surrendering to my desperation. I never did send any of them. I didn't want Alec to read of my despairing in his absence. I didn't want him to feel guilt or pity. My yearning for Alec's happiness still existed, it was just fossilized and buried beneath mounds and mounds of abandonment.

It was in the second month that I finally caved and made myself regular appointments with Dr. Fray. To her I confessed my mixed feelings on Alec's decision to leave, as well as the nightmares that plagued my sleep. I dreamt about the confrontation in the basement much too often. The outcome always changed; sometimes I watched helplessly as Alec was raped, sometimes Valen was successful in raping me, sometimes Alec bled to death in my arms, sometimes I was trapped in the delusion that I was stabbing Valen when I was actually stabbing Alec. Clary expressed her concern for my pulling away from my friends and staying cooped up alone inside my house. She wanted me to partake in my favorite activities, to go outside and get some exercise (despite my crutches), to consider volunteering while I was on medical leave, to go on dates with other men. The last suggestion had made me choke on a sip of water.

My health started to improve after that. When the gruelling seven weeks were finally up, I got my cast cut off and started my physiotherapy sessions. Catarina hadn't been lying when she's told me my recovery would be arduous. I had a lingering limp and had to relearn how to walk properly with my damaged ankle. Each step was painful and degrading, damaging both my overused muscles and my pride. My therapist had recommended me using a cane or a single crutch every day until my ankle strengthened. I put the crutch in my driveway and drove over it with my car. Twice. So what if it took me longer to slowly limp where I needed to go? I'd already lost Alec; I wasn't going to lose my independent mobility, too.

I heeded Clary's advice and started surrounding myself with friends again. Catarina and I went out whenever she was able to spare a day from work. Luke and I caught some sports events or went to the bar from time to time. When I found myself alone for the day, I went to the coffee shop and spent hours reading and sipping some whipped, drizzled, and caffeinated beverage. I'd long since stopped going to the park because I spent too much time thinking about the person who was supposed to be sitting next to me, sipping his hot chocolate and staring out at the lake. But even if I'd spent the entire day with someone at my side, it was inevitable to come home to an empty, lonely house. The TV was always on as background noise, keeping me company; I couldn't sleep without Alec's cartoons flashing lights down the dark hallway and into my bedroom.

My first spur-of-the-moment decision came shortly afterward. I'd hopped into my car and sped toward the nearest animal shelter. In my search for my next potential housemate, I found two. The adoption process followed suit. I picked up two small carriers, some toys, food, and dishes. It took three trips to lug everything into the house from the car. After that, my house never felt lonely. The attention-starved kittens kept me busy, especially Chairman Meow. He delegated when it was time to get up, when it was time to be fed, when it was time to rub his belly. He'd even claimed his own spot on the leather sofa. Church was the quieter of the two, and he spent his nights sleeping on Alec's neatly made bed. I loved the two of them unconditionally, though they would later wreak havoc on my dating life.

It had taken me much longer to work up the courage to follow Dr. Fray's counsel and start my search for a meaningful relationship. My first attempts were disastrous: One of the men who'd stopped by my house to pick me up for our first date had been attacked by Chairman Meow. I hadn't known about his allergy, and I watched as the skin around his scratches swelled. He turned to me with puffy eyes and then stormed out of the house, sneezing all the way to his car. We didn't speak again, but I still laughed about it. Another had tried to convince me to go back to his place to make out. He forgot to mention he still lived with his parents. As the saying goes, the third time's the charm. Oh and he was a charmer. I met him at a bar; he seemed so out of place that my eyes always drew back to him, no matter how many times I looked away. He was quiet and dressed in nice clothes, drinking a beer by himself. His violet eyes had caught me staring and the gentleman had offered to buy me a drink. We chatted, laughing away in fuzzy (but not drunk) conversation. I invited him back to my house. Needless to say, we headed straight for the bedroom. He was warming me up when I suddenly froze. It wasn't that I didn't want him, it was just that my mind kept screaming at me that I shouldn't want him. Months had gone by, but I still hadn't let Alec go. I ended up using my mouth to give my date an orgasm, then kindly sent him on his way, not without apology. He seemed to be understanding, and even left his number so I could call when I was ready. I never did call him.

And now, here I was. One year later, sitting at home with my two full-grown fur balls with attitude. I was working once again, I saw Dr. Fray on an occasional basis, my monetary debt to Camille had been paid off, my limp was barely noticeable, and I was content. Alec and I hadn't spoken in months, and I had no dates planned in the near future, but I was content. I couldn't help but smile; I hadn't yet reached cloud nine, but I'd finally found some direction on the endless road to happiness.

I was just packing my bag to go to the gym when my phone rang. I expected it to be Luke, calling to tell me he was swamped in paper work and wouldn't be able to join me for a workout. The liar. Anything to get out of a session on the treadmill. But when I lifted my phone, my heart stopped to see Alec's name on the screen. My internal voice was screaming, rambling on about why I should or shouldn't answer the phone. My fingers made the decision first and pressed the answer button before the call could switch over to my voicemail.

"Hello?" I answer cautiously.

"Magnus? Thank God. I-I thought you weren't going to answer."

I could tell there was something off about Alec's voice. It was shaky, breathless, almost as if he was panicked or crying. "Alec, are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Alec sucked in a ragged breath. "I'm fine."

My reeling mind automatically thought of Alec holding a knife to his wrist or pressing a gun to his temple. "Where's Jace?"

"Jace isn't home," Alec said in a rush. "I just— I need you to do something for me, Magnus. Please."

"Tell me what you need."

"Go to our spot. The bench by the lake."

I clutched the phone tighter, worried. "What is this about, Alec?"

"Call me when you get there."

"Alec, don't hang—" I broke off as the dial tone hummed in my ear. "Fuck." I grabbed my keys and ran out to the car. The phone sat like an anvil in my hand as I debating calling the police, not that it would do any good since I knew neither Jace's address nor if Alec was even at the cabin. My car sped through the streets, dodging through traffic and the honking of annoyed drivers. When I reached the park, I parked in the first open spot I found and began my run to the hidden bench. Thankfully I'd been dressed in my sweats and hoodie, which made the sprint easier. The second I arrived, I redialed Alec's number and pushed the phone to my ear. It rang six agonizing times before he finally picked up. "I'm here," I said breathlessly. "I'm here."

"What does it look like?" Alec whispered.

I glanced down at the bench. Around me, people continued on with their negligible business. "What does what look like?"

"The lake." Alec's tone was anxious and pleading. "Describe it to me."

I looked out at the water. It was painted red, yellow, and pink in the evening sun. The trees were shadows on the surface, rippling in the slight breeze. I relayed this to Alec, including every detail from the warmth of the air to the shapes of the clouds. He listened, and remained quiet when I finished. "Alec," I said, fearful, "say something."

His voice was hushed. "I never meant to hurt you."

The sun's reflection glimmered on the water, making me squint. "You never hurt me," I lied.

"Look into my eyes when you tell me that."

I stiffened. A tingle crawled up the back of my neck, making me shiver. Still clutching the phone, I slowly turned around. There, standing on the grass on the other side of the walking path, was Alec. His phone was pressed against his ear, and the second my eyes fell on him he offered a shy smile. My phone fell from my fingers. It lay forgotten as I barrelled across the path and crushed Alec in an embrace, lifting his feet from the ground. He wrapped his arms around my neck and twined his fingers into my hair

"You're here," I gasped. "You came back."

Alec shifted in my arms and I set him down. He took my face in his hands and held my gaze. "I always planned on coming back."

"You scared the shit out of me, sounding so scared on the phone."

Alec blushed. My stomach fluttered; I hadn't realized how much I had missed that. "I was nervous about ruining the surprise," he admitted.

I blew out a long breath. "You sure fooled me." Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to find Jace. He held my phone out to me.

"Good to see you, Magnus," he said.

I took my phone back and stared, dumbfounded. "Jace. You're back."

"Not permanently, I'm afraid. I just came to make sure my brother gets safely settled before I go back home." Jace shifted awkwardly. "I can set him up in other accommodations if..."

"That's not necessary," I said, careful not to answer too quickly. "I've got room at my place."

Jace looked relieved. "Thank you." He turned to Alec. "I guess this is goodbye, brother. You'll keep your promise and come visit me?"

Alec pulled Jace into a hug. "Of course. Thank you for everything, Jace. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You're leaving already?" I asked, genuinely surprised. "I have the space if you'd like to rest for the night."

Jace smiled. "I appreciate the offer, Magnus, but I've got work in the morning. An important meeting I can't miss." He pulled a duffle bag from his shoulder and handed it to Alec, then turned back to me. "You'll take good care of my brother?"

"Of course." Everything seemed to be moving very fast, and I was still stuck at the starting line.

Jace nodded resolutely. He squeezed Alec's shoulder, smiled one last time, then turned on his heel and walked away. Alec and I watched him. He didn't look back. Fingers slipped into mine, startling me. Alec held my hand, one side of his mouth curving up into a crooked smile.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"Very."

Alec and I walked hand-in-hand back to my car. We grabbed some takeout Chinese food and headed back to my place. The silence between us was oddly uncomfortable. I was ecstatic to have Alec back in my life, but I had no idea what to say to him. I didn't even know for sure why he'd come back. I couldn't get a good read off him, and not knowing what he was thinking was driving me crazy.

The moment Alec entered the house, Church and Chairman Meow swarmed his feet. They rubbed against him, purring and meowing. Alec set down his bag and bent to give the cats his undivided attention. "Who are these cuties?" he crooned.

"The striped one is Chairman Meow. The gray-blue one is Church."

Alec's hand stilled at the mention of Church's name, but he quickly recovered and continued petting the felines. They followed him as he took his stuff to his room. I carried the food to the kitchen and grabbed some plates.

"How's your ankle?"

I turned and found Alec leaning against the kitchen entryway. His arms were crossed, more protective than casual or defensive. "It's great. I was able to stop my physiotherapy a couple months ago. It's as healed as it's ever going to be."

Alec nodded proudly. I took a moment to look him over. He hadn't gained much in height, but he'd broadened a bit. He was still slender, but muscle now hid his bones. He looked like a normal, athletic twenty-year-old. Even his demeanor had matured. His chin was not ducked, and, even though his arms were crossed, he stood as if he wanted to be noticed, not as if he wanted to fade into the background.

"You look great, Alec," I said.

He smiled. "Thanks. Jace helped me get fit."

"Not just that. You seem stronger mentally, too."

"Jace found a therapist and a tutor for me. I feel better." He paused in thought, then added with indignity, "I still get nightmares."

"Me too," I whispered.

Alec and I filled our plates and headed into the living room to eat. We sat on the floor facing each other, chewing silently. Conversation came in sporadic bursts. I told him about the movies Catarina and I had seen, he told me about the hikes he and Jace had went on. I grew worried as the minutes ticked by. It had never been this awkward between us. I wanted to know why Alec had made such a sudden return, especially after we'd lost contact for so long, but he showed no inclination of telling me, and I did not want to overstep any boundaries to ask him.

"I want to go to university," Alec said suddenly after another wave of suffocating silence.

I set my chopsticks down. "Really? That's great, Alec. What program do you want to take?"

"I thought that I wanted to be a police officer like you." He poked at his chow mein with his fork. "But I realized I don't want to focus my life on bad people, chasing them and putting them behind bars. I want to help the good people. I don't think I'll ever be as good as Dr. Fray, but I want to be a psychologist. A counsellor at the very least."

My chest warmed. "I think you'll be excellent at helping people. And you will be as good as Dr. Fray."

Alec grinned and I braced myself for another bout of muteness, but he surprised me by clearing his throat. "So are you seeing anyone?"

I almost choked on my broccoli. Almost. This was a topic to tread lightly on, but I couldn't lie to him. "I, uh, I've been on some dates."

He avoided eye contact. "Is it serious?"

Alec had misunderstood. He thought I meant I'd been on several dates with one person, not with all different people. I wondered if admitting I'd failed at several relationship attempts would damage Alec's image of me. My thoughts drifted to Malcolm Fade, the purple-eyed gentleman who'd given me his number. "I liked him, but I wasn't ready for anything serious." Alec nodded and shoved a forkful of rice in his mouth. "What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Alec set his plate down and finished chewing. He picked at his fingernails. "I was. His name was Sebastian Verlack. He was really nice. We went on a lot of dates. He kissed me. . . a lot. But I couldn't be in a relationship with him, so I broke up with him."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

Alec lifted his eyes to meet mine. "Because he wasn't you."

"Alec. . ." All I could do was gape at him. I'd thought that he'd forgotten about me, but, after all this time, I'd been on Alec's mind as much as he'd been on mine. He still loved me, even after I'd never called to check on him, even after I'd let him go in the first place, even though I'd...

My eyes started to burn and I turned my head so Alec wouldn't notice, but he did anyway. He reached for me. "Magnus? What's wrong?"

I took a shuddering breath and pinched the bridge of my nose, warding off the tears. "I'm so sorry, Alec."

He touched my knee. "Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because I broke my promise." I faced him. "I promised I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you, but I failed. I'm sorry you had to go through what happened to you because of me."

Alec watched me for a moment, his face impassive, before crawling around our plates and seating himself in my lap. His legs wrapped around my waist and he took my face in his hands. He brushed his fingertips gently over my damp eyelashes. "Listen to me, Magnus," he said softly. "The things those men did to me. . . that was nothing I hadn't experienced before. I handled it, because I knew I could endure it. But Valen wanted to kill me. You stopped him. You protected me, Magnus, just like you promised. You never failed me."

I rested my hand against the small of his back. Right now, he was the only thing anchoring me to the ground, and I needed to be as close to him as possible. "I never wanted to let you go."

Alec traced my jaw. "I never wanted to leave you." He pushed his finger against my lips when I started to speak, shushing me. "I know you would have tried to help me to the very best of your abilities, Magnus, but I didn't want you to fix me. I wanted to be better for you. I needed to find my independence and grow into the person I was meant to be. I know taking care of me was difficult for you, so you needed some time apart from me, too. I don't judge you for that. Getting better was something I had to do without you, but I will never stop needing you."

My fingers tangled in his hair. "I need you, too."

Alec held my face and lowered his mouth to mine. I sighed against his lips and slipped my tongue inside, searching for the sweet taste that belonged only to him. He nipped at my lip, a move that was brazen for him. The bite sent pinpricks of icy heat across my skin. I moved my mouth to his throat, gently kissing and sucking. Alec groaned and tilted his head, exposing more of his neck for me to taste. I dragged my teeth over his skin, humming in approval when he gasped.

Alec suddenly took my face in his hands again and made me look at him. "Magnus, I'm ready."

I needed no clarification. "Are you sure?"

He nodded and smiled shyly. His legs remained wrapped around my hips as I carefully rose to my feet and carried him to my bedroom. We laughed as I bumped into a couple walls. He dropped to his feet and stared at the bed, deep in thought. I took his hand. "Are you okay?"

He squeezed my fingers. "Just nervous."

"We don't have to do this."

"I want to. I trust you."

I bent my head and kissed him, helping him relax. When I broke away to let him catch his breath, I removed my hoodie and t-shirt. Next I stepped out of my sweatpants, leaving me only in my black boxer briefs. Alec looked at the apex of my thighs before drawing his eyes up to meet mine. I kissed him again, cupping his cheek in my hand. His cheeks were flushed when I pulled back. Slowly, I crouched down and lifted them hem of his t-shirt. I pressed my lips against the small area of exposed skin. Alec sighed in satisfaction. Encouraged, I lifted the material higher. My tongue dipped into his navel, eliciting a shiver from him. I continued on, kissing every inch of flesh I exposed until I finally pulled the shirt up and over his head. I took a moment to stare at the toned muscles and planes of Alec's torso. Long bumps of scar tissue spread across his chest and abdomen jumped out at my eyes. Before moving on, I took care to kiss every single one of the healed stab wounds. Alec shivered every time my lips met his skin.

Alec ridded himself of his jeans and allowed me to lift him onto the bed. He settled underneath me, heat melting in his cool blue eyes. My mouth found one of his nipples and I teased it with my tongue. My hand slid up from his belly to his other nipple, circling and twisting gently. He squirmed under me. I rocked my hips against his, letting him feel me. He arched up against me, letting me feel him. Groaning, I slid up Alec's body and traced the curve of his ear with my tongue. Alec moaned, clutching at my back.

After a moment, I rose to my knees and pushed my underwear down. I kicked them off and hooked my fingers under the elastic band of Alec's. I kissed a trail across his hipbones as I pushed them down. He lifted his hips to help me. When we were both free of our clothes, I settled between Alec's legs. Hovering over him, I asked, "Are you sure, Alec?"

Alec reached for my hand and twined his fingers through mine, squeezing hard. "I'm sure."

I kissed him one last time before pushing into him. Tight heat squeezed the tip of my shaft. The pleasure was exquisite; I'd never felt anything like it. I already felt ready to explode. I pushed in a little farther but stilled when I noticed Alec tense. His eyes were closed and he was biting on his lip. Still holding his hand, I pressed my other palm against his cheek. "Are you all right? Am I hurting you?"

Alec opened his eyes, betraying his pain. "I'm okay," he lied. "Just push in all the way." He shifted, sinking a bit farther into me.

My breath caught in my throat. If I wasn't careful, I was going to come. Alec was my priority; I wanted to take care of him first. "Alec, please take it slow. It's my first time, too."

Regret flashed in Alec's eyes. "I'm sorry. I forgot—"

I kissed him, cutting him off. "You don't need to apologize. Let's just take it slow, okay?"

He nodded, relaxing slightly. I pushed in a bit more, gauging his reaction. To help take some of the pain away, I dropped my hand to Alec's length and wrapped my fingers around him. He moaned as I stroked him. I moved my hips and bit more and groaned when I sunk in to the root. The pressure surrounding me was intoxicating. I checked on Alec one final time before beginning to move. I moved my hips in a slow rhythm, undulating. Alec moved his hips in sync with me, gasping my name. My pleasure began to spike, coiling deep in my belly. I slowed my thrusting and increased the speed of my hand.

"Magnus," Alec moaned, my name a plea.

I responded with a deep thrust and a root-to-tip stroke of my hand. Alec cried out and I felt fluid spurt against my hand. He stiffened under me until his orgasm began to fade. I stayed still as he caught his breath then I began to move again. My thrusts were gentle but deep, and when I felt the tightening in my groin, I sped up. Alec's groaning echoed mine; he was already hard again and racing for his second orgasm. I chased him.

"I love you, Alec," I moaned, and my words pushed us both over the edge. We both released and stared at each other, muscles quivering.

"I love you, too," Alec whispered breathlessly.

I pulled out of him but remained where I was, my face hovering over his, our hands intertwined. My forehead touched his. "I'd do anything for you. I'd sacrifice everything."

Alec smiled. "I don't know how many minutes I have left in my lifetime, but I do know that I want to spend every last one with you. I don't want to see you sacrificing anything for me. Just live. Live your life with me."

I kissed him. "No more sacrifices. Just us. Together."

"Just us," he agreed, and kissed me back.