Chapter 7: Little high, little low
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"What's that smell?"
"Ugh, that is gross!"
Holding the disgusting, molding thing as far away from me as I can, I turn to show it to Naruto. He's dramatically pinching his nose with both hands and leaning away from me. As soon as he gets a glance at it, he makes a face of utter revulsion and drops his hands to point at it—only to gag from the smell.
Quickly, I toss the thing into the trash bag and step far away from the fridge to take big, gulping breaths of air. Holding my breath for so long was difficult, but so worth it.
Today, we are cleaning.
Because so far we've been doing a shit job of keeping the apartment clean. Can you blame me? I've never been all that gung-ho about keeping a place spotless. I mean, it's not like we're living in a pigsty. Sure, there's some clothes strewn about, and some trash, and there's that stain in the couch that I still don't know when it got there. And something was molding in the fridge (which I found out the hard way), though that's not exactly our fault when stupid people won't let us buy things that aren't already going bad.
Besides, it takes too much energy to keep a place spotless. Once every week or two should be enough, right? It's not like Naruto's going to listen to me about cleaning up after himself when I'm not so great at it.
I glance at Naruto to see him glowering at me and can't help but smirk. "Shouldn't you start cleaning, too?"
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles as he bends down to pick up the scarf he'd dropped in his rush to cover his nose. I watch, curious, as he drapes it over his head and then wraps it around the bottom of his face. The only part of his face that's visible is his eyes. He dramatically tosses the end he's holding over his shoulder and strikes a pose, both fists on his hips. "I'm a ninja!"
He's probably grinning at his own cleverness under the scarf. I can only shake my head at him as he wildly glances around, pauses, shouts "enemy spotted!" and pounces on the nearest piece of trash. He starts to wrestle with a candy wrapper.
Which is when I decide it's better not to watch Naruto's brand of lunacy and continue working on clearing out the fridge. There's not much in there, and the only thing that's gone bad, aside from that molding thing, and as far as I can tell, is the milk. I take a look at the expiration date, see that it expired three days ago, and wonder if it might still be good.
Probably best not to tempt fate. So I dump it down the sink. When I turn to throw away the empty carton, Naruto is standing by the trash bag, cackling as he tosses his "enemies" into it.
"...What."
Naruto glances up at me, his eyes gleaming. "Captured enemies have to go to the holding cells!"
"Uh," I blink at him. "Just don't—break anything, okay?"
"Okay!"
And he turns back to individually tossing each piece of trash into the bag. I don't even know how we accumulated so much trash. Unless Naruto's been hoarding trash all over the apartment...
While he's doing that, I collect all the other loose things on the floor. Clothes, papers, books, a few toys. We actually own more things than I originally thought we did. I wonder how much Yamori—er, Raidou—spent on us? Does he... expect something back?
Is he trying to gain our loyalty (at the same time I'm trying to gain his)? Or maybe he's attached to us, wants us to be happy. Or something. I don't know. I can't figure him out.
I feel like I've regressed. Wasn't I willing to trust him for a while there? So why am I so hesitant now? The only difference is now I know who he is under the mask.
...Is that it? Is it because I know who he is? That he's human—and I need to stop thinking about it! So what if I don't trust him? So what if he's trying to play us? There's nothing I can do about it. And anyway, do I really think he'll harm us? (Yes.) I mean, he's changed our diapers a few times!
And like it or not, he's going to be a permanent fixture in our lives, at least indefinitely. Even if I don't trust him, Naruto does, and he won't give Raidou up without a fight. A fight I'm not sure I'll win.
So I need to drop it. For now. There are other things I need to focus on. Like training.
How safe is it for little kids like us to train? Do these people even care about child safety issues? God, how many problems would have just never happened if there was better childcare in this 'verse? Certainly wouldn't be so many psychopaths and sociopaths running around.
I don't even know the first thing about training. What can we do besides running? I don't know any martial arts, so taijutsu's out. Don't know anything about weapons, so bukijutsu is a no-go, too. Maybe I can ask Raidou for training?
I mean, he did teach us a little about chakra. Which. I haven't tried doing anything external with it since I messed up so badly. But I have been feeling it out every night while trying to fall asleep. It helps a lot. And sometimes I can even convince Naruto to meditate with me. We haven't had any incidents with him accidentally tapping into Kurama's chakra, either.
Still not sure how that happened. My main theories are that either Kurama's a big fat troll or Naruto just unconsciously tapped into the larger well of chakra.
(If only Naruto was older if only I could trust him if only I could tell someone consult someone so many questions not enough answers.)
Eventually, we move on to doing the laundry. This place didn't come with a washer and dryer (do they even have them in this 'verse? They should, right? I mean, I've seen vending machines!), so we have to do it by hand.
After filling the bathtub up with water and soap, Naruto and I drag and drop the futon into it. Then I let Naruto have at it. While he enthusiastically stomps all over it, I take the basket of dirty clothes and the bucket full of water and start scrubbing.
We need more clothes. We only have a few sets and already they're showing wear and tear. So far, we've been sharing our clothes since we're the same size and whoever's been buying our clothes is either a cheapskate or under the impression that I'm a boy. Not that I'm really complaining (about the clothes, not the being mistaken as a boy part—I'm a girl, thank you very much) since it's easier to run around in a pair of shorts than a skirt and I will never ever wear pink. Never. (And I'm still horrified whenever I remember that I went through a pink faze as a little kid.)
"Nee-san!" Naruto suddenly shouts.
I look up at him, distractedly—only to get a face full of soapy water. I gasp, spluttering, quickly closing my eyes to make sure nothing gets into them, as Naruto bursts into laughter. Gritting my teeth, I reach blindly for the shirt I was washing and throw it with all my might in the direction of the laughter.
Naruto cuts off with a yelp. I grab the hem of my shirt—the only part not wet—to wipe my face so that I can see him. When I get a glance of him, I can't help but start laughing. Somehow, I hit his face. He scrambles to pull of the shirt that wrapped around his face, wetly sticking to him. When he finally gets it off, he glowers at me.
I stick my tongue out at him. "That's what you get. Now get back to work!"
"Aye, sir!" he salutes, face schooled.
We share eye contact for a moment, then burst into laughter.
After doing the laundry and hanging it up in the living room (using some of the tripwire, though we probably shouldn't. At least we're not using the ninja wire, though. That stuff would just cut right through the clothes), we wash up and change clothes, since what we're wearing is wet.
"Hey, Naruto?"
"Yeah?" he responds, his voice muffled from the shirt over his head. For a moment, I watch him struggle to pull the shirt down before reaching over to help him.
Once his head is visible again, I continue. "How much money do we have?" Because we really do need to buy more clothes. And some needle and thread. I may not be the best at sewing, but I can at least mend tears.
When Naruto's silence stretches too long, I glance at him in curiosity. His face his scrunched up in concentration as he silently mouths words. Is he... counting?
"Naruto?" I prod him. He bites his lip and looks away. Alarmed, I step closer to him. "Naruto, how much money do we have?"
He resolutely keeps his gaze off of me as he stiffly walks toward the dresser. I watch intently as he opens the second drawer, feels around, and then pulls out something. He approaches me warily and thrusts out his fist.
"Gama-chan's hungry," he mutters.
When he unclenches his fist, I get a good look at what he's holding. Like he said, the frog-shaped coin purse looks emaciated. I snatch it out of his hand and look inside it. My fears are realized.
No.
How'd we spend so much!? I thought we'd been keeping track of our spending—I'd been keeping track. Then I remember, all those candy wrappers. Has Naruto been buying things behind my back? How?
I take in a deep breath, ready to shout at Naruto, except when I get a good look at him, he looks so fucking guilty. Like he knows it's his fault. Like he—he—ugh! Exhale slowly, calm down. He's only a kid.
But.
How are we going to survive the rest of the month? There's no way we can afford to buy anything aside from the minimum amount of ingredients for food. We're going to have to cut back. Except. Naruto eats a lot.
I bite my lip in indecision. I can eat less, eat slower, too. Since eating slower makes you fuller, right? And I don't need afterschool snacks. I can steal some stuff, but I'll have to be really careful. And don't steal anything in sight of shinobi.
A sigh escapes me.
"...Sorry, nee-chan," Naruto mumbles.
When I look up at him, his face is tilted down, his shoulders hunched over, and his hands in tightly clenched fists. He blinks furiously. I almost do a double take. Is he blinking back tears?
Shit.
Biting my lip, I reach out and ruffle his hair. He peers up at me doubtfully. "Just—don't spend our money like this, okay? Tell me if you really want something." When he doesn't respond, my hand on his head clamps down a little. "Okay?"
Naruto yelps. "Okay! Okay!"
"Good," I say with a nod. Then I pat his head twice before holding out the coin purse for him to take back. He hesitates a moment, but eventually takes it and sticks it in his pants. Then I turn and leave the room. "C'mon, let's go."
At first, I don't hear anything. And then his footsteps follow me. I take a moment to pull out the tripwire tucked into my backpack (never know when I'll need it). By the time I'm standing back up, Naruto's by the couch.
"Where are we going?"
I flash a grin at him and hold the roll of wire up as answer. He takes a bit, blinking slowly at me then the wire, before his face lights up and he grins to match me.
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By the time we get to the marketplace, it's time for the evening rush. Housewives abound, sprinkled with a few shinobi here and there. We're not the only children, though most of them are tethered in some way by their parent. Everyone's too busy to pay us much attention. Naruto and I grip each other's hands to make sure we don't get separated.
"How 'bout there?" Naruto asks as he points toward a narrow alley between two stalls.
I eyeball it dubiously. It looks a little too small for us. I say as much. Naruto grumbles, but continues looking. I glance around for a hiding spot, too. We need someplace that's hopefully small enough that adults won't be able to easily follow us, definitely doesn't lead into a dead end, with an area on the opposite side of the street that we can tie the tripwire to.
The criteria's surprisingly hard to fulfill. It'd be easier if we go for a normal-sized alley, but then it'd be easier for us to get caught, and I don't want to face the consequences for that. But at this rate we won't find a good place. Plus, I'm getting impatient.
So I point to the closest alley, which is unfortunately big enough to fit an adult, too, but whatever. "That's good enough, yeah?"
Naruto eyes it for a moment before shrugging. "Eh."
My sentiments exactly.
Across the alley is a vegetable vendor selling something that looks like eggplants. What he's selling isn't important, though. It's his sturdy-looking stall that is. The stall that's tall enough to hide us as we tie the wire to one of the stall's legs. Naruto and I scurry over to it, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, which really isn't possible at all, considering the wide, mischievous grin splitting Naruto's face. Not that I blame him. I'm having trouble biting back my smile, too. Doing something like this makes me feel surprisingly giddy.
I wonder if we'll actually be able to trip anyone.
Naruto stands guard as I squat down to tie one end of the wire to the stall's leg. I try to be quick, since we don't want to get caught, but it takes longer than I thought it would. A full minute passes before I've wrapped what I think is enough wire. Standing up, I tap Naruto's arm to signal that I'm ready. He grins at me widely as he grabs my hand, the one holding the roll of wire, as we slowly make our way back to the alley across the street.
We have to go slowly as I let the wire pool out to make sure we don't accidentally pull it taut or stumble into anyone. I can feel Naruto's impatience as he tries to walk faster, but I make sure to keep a slow, steady pace.
And god, we must look super suspicious.
However, I resist the urge to look around, knowing that doing so will just make us look even more suspicious. We finally reach the alley, Naruto letting go of my hand to run the last few steps.
He turns back toward me and pumps his fist in the air. "First!"
"Not a competition, Naruto," I say while rolling my eyes at him.
He just sticks his tongue out at me. I think about pulling on his tongue in retaliation, but before I can do anything, his tongue retracts. Then he thrusts out his right hand and wiggles his fingers at me in impatience.
I deliberately slow down, taking the slowest, smallest steps I can. I can see Naruto's impatience grow as he huffs at me and roll his eyes, then clench his fist and stomp his foot.
"Nee-san!"
Biting back a grin, I take one large step to finally reach him and bestow the roll of wire to him with a flourish. "Your wire, sir."
"What?" Naruto asks, his face scrunching up in confusion.
For a moment, I'm confused, too. And then I realize that I'd spoken in English and have to bite back a curse.
"Nothing, nothing."
"If you say so," he responds with a suspicious glance.
But he's quickly distracted by the excitement of getting to pull the wire. Who knew he was such a sadistic bastard?
Oh, wait.
Right.
I wait, full of gleeful excitement, as Naruto gazes out at the expanse of people. I can see the vegetable vendor glancing at us distrustfully and have to resist the urge to smile at him wickedly in response. Yeah, we did something to your stall. No, you're not gonna like what we're about to do.
Or maybe he will. Who knows?
Naruto makes a noise of excitement, making me tear my gaze away from the vendor toward what he's looking at. Approaching the wire trap is a dark, unruly-haired man in a flak jacket, his head held high, walking fast-paced. A chuunin? Or jounin. Except, instead of the Uzushio spiral on his shoulder, there's a four pointed star. With a... fan?
Oh shit.
"Naruto, don't—!"
But my warning is too late. Naruto gives the wire a vicious tug just as the Uchiha policeman takes another step forward. One foot clears the wire. Someone yelps and the sound of a body falling reaches my ears, but I'm too focused on the Uchiha to really care. The Uchiha glances to his other side, but as he does so, his ankle hits the wire and—
He falls in the least graceful tumble ever, letting out a high-pitched squeak as he thrusts his hands out the catch himself, only his hands slip and he hits his chin on the ground, making it bounce high. His chin hits the ground again and he lays there, stunned.
A heavy silence falls around us—around the downed Uchiha. Everyone's stopped moving, gaping at the policeman. The vegetable vendor looks like he's going to faint.
A strange noise involuntarily escapes me, a half-sob, half-laugh. Next to me, Naruto bursts out laughing. He points at the Uchiha with one hand, the other grabbing his stomach as he doubles over.
"He—he! Did you see, nee-san!"
Too late, I wrap a hand around his mouth to silence him. "Naruto, shut up!" And shit, I shouldn't have said his name, either. Naruto squirms under my grip, not understanding the severity of this situation.
When I look back up, everyone's staring at us. Even the Uchiha. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. As the Uchiha stumbles to his feet, his whole front covered in dirt and blood dribbling down his busted chin, I smack the roll of wire out of Naruto's hand and tug him into the alley.
"Run!" I shout.
Confusion, then horror, washes over Naruto's face. "Craaaap!"
"Wait! Come back!"
Naruto and I book it, as quick as our short legs can carry us, through the alley and into another, and then another, all the while the sound of furious running follows us. My breath comes out in short gasps, my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest, as we run from the Uchiha.
Shit shit shit this was a bad fucking idea! God, what gave Naruto the bright idea to trip a fucking ninja! When we get back, I'm gonna lecture him for so fucking long he's gonna—gonna—I don't know what! Fuck!
...Wait.
I can no longer hear anyone chasing us. Actually, I can't hear anyone following me. Taking a risk, I glance behind me.
I don't—I don't see Naruto. No, maybe he's behind that corner. Yeah. I quickly backtrack, panting, searching frantically for my brother.
"Naruto?"
No answer. The people around me barely glance at me.
"Naruto?" I call again.
Once more, there is no answer. Panic wells up in me, but I valiantly push it down, cupping my mouth to shout again.
"Naruto!"
Oh god. Oh god, no. Why isn't he responding? Why isn't he here?
"Naruto!"
No! Oh god this can't be happening. This can't be it can't!
Naruto! Where's Naruto? Where is he? Where am I? Where alone why am I alone he's supposed to be here with me near me where is here where is he where no no nononono no oh god oh god come back please don't leave me don't leave me alone Naruto where are you please come back please I can't can't can't please not alone Comfort where's Comfort where are you where—"Nee-san!"—can't see can't breathe can't move can't can't—"Nee-san!"—where are you where where am I here where who is who am—
Hands grab my shoulder, jar me. Breathing shallow, quick, body shuddering. Tears sting my eyes. A voice, saying something, can't understand. Not English.
Blue eyes, blonde hair. Little boy. Who?
"Nee-san!"
Japanese. Older sister. Who? Me? Not older, younger. Younger sister. (Four years younger the baby the girl the one who went to college the second disappointment the failure the one who—)
"Nee-san, what's wrong?" blue eyes tear up, voice wavers.
No.
No no no.
I am.
Older.
Older sister. I am nee-san. I am, to him. Him? Who?
Naruto.
"Naruto." My voice cracks, wheezes. Comes out so quietly I can barely hear it. I clear my throat. Try again. "Naruto."
"Yeah?" he responds, and god is that such a relief.
He's here. He's here with me. I'm not alone. I have Naruto, and with him is Kurama, his chakra brightly burning, comforting in its presence. And god, why didn't I think about sensing him!? I could have found him instead of—instead of—
I'm so pathetic. So fucking pathetic. I'm relying on a four-year-old to emotionally stabilize me! God, I fucking broke down when I couldn't find him. I'm so, so fucking pathetic. Why am I even alive? Why am I even here if I can't even function without Naruto around?
What use am I?
Is this all just some fucking cosmic joke? Is some kind of god or deity or whatever transcendental fucking being is up there (if there is anything up there) just laughing at me? At all of us?
Why?
Why why why why—
Arms wrap around me, warm. Shaking. Naruto's body shakes as he comforts me, comforts himself.
So fucking pathetic, worrying a little boy like this.
I wrap my arms around him, blink back tears, tell myself I need to be strong. Be a fucking rock, you failure. Naruto needs you.
"Sorry."
Naruto takes a shuddering breath. I can tell he's readying himself to respond, but before he can say anything, a voice cuts through. A man clears his throat. I startle badly, jerking Naruto behind me, and almost growl at the person. Except. Dark unruly hair, flak jacket, dirt on his cloths, blood flecking it, coming from his chin.
Oh fuck.
The man rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at us. He looks contemplative.
Actually...
I flick my gaze between him and Naruto. Naruto, who looks sheepish. Did Naruto get caught? Did this policeman catch Naruto and bring him here? I don't know if I should feel ashamed or thankful.
I can't settle on anything, but I think I'm glowering at him. I don't know. I do it so often, it's probably a reflex by now.
He lets out a sigh, his arm dropping to his side, before slowly approaching us. His hand reaches out toward us and I flinch back without meaning to. He stops, pulling back his hand to hang uselessly in the air. I watch carefully as he slowly retracts his hand and crouches before us.
"You're... Naruto and Renge, right?" he asks.
"What's it to you?" Naruto responds rudely, and god I've been too much of an influence on this kid. Not that I would have responded differently (and that's the problem). But then, when I look at him, he's grinning.
The Uchiha gives out a small huff, his lips twitching upward before he smiles at us widely, to the point his eyes crinkle shut. I can't help but stare at him in shock.
Is he really an Uchiha? I know the emblem on his sleeves means he's part of the Military Police, but he's… he's nothing like what I know Uchiha to be like. He's smiling at us! Uchiha don't smile. They frown, and grunt, and smirk. They certainly don't smile widely. At least not to a non-Uchiha.
"Now I know you were just having fun, but you shouldn't do things like that, alright?" he says, ignoring Naruto's rude question. "What if someone got seriously hurt?"
As he speaks, blood continues to drip from his chin. I'm distracted by it, missing what he says next. Letting out a groan at myself, I reach into my pocket and pull out a handkerchief and thrust it at him, probably cutting him off mid-sentence.
Both he and Naruto stare at me in surprise.
What? It's not like the handkerchief's mine (like I would carry something like that around—it belongs to that one chick, the one who gave it to Naruto for his forehead) and the blood is really distracting, okay!?
"For your chin." I wave the 'kerchief at the man, impatiently waiting for him to take it. I can feel my cheeks heating up. If he doesn't take it soon, it'll be fucking embarrassing for me. The one time I do something nice for a stranger, and they don't accept it? Yeah, thanks.
Luckily (for both of us. Who know what I'd do if he didn't), the man takes the 'kerchief and presses it against his chin. He winces minutely.
"Haha, thanks, shounen," he smiles again, this time so widely he flashes his teeth. (1)
First, I'm blinded by his teeth, then I'm blind-sided by his words.
What.
Boy. Boy? Boy?
He did not—he did not just call me boy! What the fuck. What the fucking fuck! He was standing right there when Naruto called me "nee-san!" He knows I'm a girl, he has to! He—he—arg!
"I'm a girl," I grit through my teeth. Behind me, Naruto lets out a giggle. My elbow digs into his side in reflex.
"Oh," he makes a face of surprise, and that face has to be fake, it fucking has to be. "I'm sorry, little miss. My mistake." Then he smiles again.
He has to be fucking with me. He has to be!
Growling, I take Naruto's hand and start pulling him away. If I don't, I'll do something I'll regret (though it would be so worth it). "C'mon."
I don't look back as the man calls after us.
"Don't go using tripwire on people again, okay! Especially civilians. Otherwise I'll have to haul you two into the station!"
Resisting the urge to flip him off, because fuck him, I walk away from him as fast as I can without actually running, because I'm not running away from him, god damn it!
"Bye ojisan!" Naruto shouts. (2)
When I glance at him from the corner of my eye, I see he's waving furiously behind us. "Naruto!" I hiss at him.
"What?" he asks innocently, looking at me with wide eyes. Guh. I quickly look away. "I like him. He's nice!"
Nice? Nice? You call that nice? He was taunting me! He called me a fucking boy! But I can't say that without sounding petty, so I just huff and continue pulling Naruto along.
Naruto laughs (at me, the bastard).
.
.
When we get back to the apartment, Raidou's waiting for us. He's sitting on the couch, looking at us with raised eyebrows.
I stop in shock, wondering how the fuck he got in, before realizing he probably has a spare key. Or, well, he's a ninja. He could have easily broken in. Fucking shinobi. This is not fucking cool.
I glower at him, kicking my shoes off and letting them fly haphazardly. "What?"
Naruto barely gets his shoes off before he flies toward Raidou, landing on the couch next to the man.
"Hey, Raidou! Guess what?"
Raidou shakes his head at me, turning to give Naruto his undivided attention. I watch warily as I cave in to my own impulses and track down my shoes to put them back properly.
"What?" Raidou asks, giving Naruto a half-smile.
"So nee-san and I met a policeman! He was nice! But he called nee-san a boy. Oh! And we tripped him!" Naruto bounces on the couch, waiting not-so-patiently for Raidou's response.
Wow, Naruto. Great storytelling skills. I inch closer to them as we wait for Raidou's response, except he doesn't give one. He just seems kinda frozen.
Did he freeze? He's silent, unmoving, face stuck in that half-smile. Then, he suddenly makes the same dying noise he made in the Hokage's Office. He covers his face with one hand, his shoulders shaking. Naruto leans away from Raidou, eyeing the man warily.
"What," he states more than asks.
...Is he laughing? Please let him be laughing instead of upset or something. God, I don't even know what to do with a crying kid, let alone a crying adult!
No. He definitely has to be laughing. Just in case, I nudge Naruto over, who scooches without protest, to sit between him and the shaking man.
"Raidou?" I ask hesitantly.
My hand reaches out to touch his arm, but I quickly pull it back. What if he's upset as in angry? What if he—
Raidou lets out a snort. I exchange a wide-eyed look with Naruto as the man hunches his shoulders and takes deep breaths. Naruto points at me, then Raidou, then clasps his hands together. I shake my head furiously and motion for him to do it instead. Naruto insists, pushing me toward Raidou. I continue shaking my head, pushing Naruto, except I push a little too hard and Naruto tumbles off the couch with a yelp.
"...Oops."
Raidou looks up at the noise, his lips pressed together tightly, to see me peering over the couch at Naruto laid out on his back on the floor, glowering at me. He lets out another snort, then dissolves into laughter.
Naruto and I exchange another wide-eyed look.
What. The. Fuck.
It's my turn to lean away from Raidou as he laughs for a full minute. Okay, what the hell? It's not that funny. What's wrong with this guy?
Eventually, his laughter settles down. By then, Naruto's sat back up and I've joined him on the floor to play a round of War (and was I pleasantly surprised when I found a deck of poker cards on sale).
He clears his throat. "Sorry."
I level him with my most unimpressed expression yet. Naruto looks at him in concern.
"What's wrong?" Naruto asks.
Raidou shakes his head, smiling sardonically. "It's nothing."
"It's obviously not, since you just broke down laughing," I interject.
Raidou and I have a very short staring contest interrupted by Naruto bodily thrusting himself between our gazes. "Are you sick?"
"No," Raidou's quick to respond, but Naruto isn't satisfied. His eyebrows are furrowed as he frowns at the older man. I elbow Naruto and widen my eyes at him, which he matches in a moment, and we both turn our wide eyes onto Raidou. He caves instantly. "I had a stressful day."
He doesn't elaborate, though. Which. Fair enough. Naruto looks like he wants to ask more, so I elbow him, making him grunt.
"What's for food?" I ask instead.
Because, seriously. Why should I have to make food when Raidou can? And I seriously doubt he's going to poison us.
He won't.
Right? Right.
.
.
The truth is—the truth isn't so much that I love Naruto but that I want to protect him. No, I want him to need me. It is true, that I love him, but it's only part of the truth.
I'm not that altruistic. I'm a selfish person by nature, I always was and always will be. And the truth? The truth is that I just don't want to be alone.
(Please god don't leave me alone I don't want to be alone please please don't leave me please I can't I can't I can't please)
I don't need a bunch of friends or loving parents or a lover or anything like that. I just need someone to like me, who will stay by me and never ever leave me. Because. Because I can't stand the loneliness. I can't. We don't even have to talk or do anything. Just someone to stay by me.
Because (god I can't) rabbits die of loneliness, you know? And in this case I'm the fucking rabbit. And I'm a coward. I don't have the courage to put myself out there, to try and make meaningful, lasting friendships, only for them to be thrown in my face or die or—or I don't know. But I just can't.
And Naruto. The Naruto I read about, the one who grew up to be a great hero, he made so many impossible friends. He beat people up and he yelled at them and they became friends (and how is that even possible? Is it a guy thing?) and they stayed friends even after years of not seeing each other. How is that possible? I don't understand. But that's what I want, that lasting friendship.
No. I want more than that. I want someone who will never leave me, never forget about me, who will love me despite the person I am.
And Naruto was handed to me on a silver platter. My twin brother. Even though I can never tell him the truth, the whole truth, even though I'll always be holding something back from him. Whether it's to protect him or protect myself, I'll never be able to be completely open with him.
And god I'm a horrible person.
But I need Naruto. More than he's ever needed me, more than he'll ever need me, I need him.
.
.
I've come to the conclusion that Raidou's explanation on chakra is incomplete.
Well. Of course it is. He only talked to us about checking to see if it's unlocked. Which. Maybe mine wasn't. Which would explain why I injured myself so badly.
(What's to say he didn't lie? What if he tricked us? But I'd felt my chakra and Naruto accessed his—accessed Kurama's. If could have been a test, though. He could have been testing Naruto's seal. But he didn't do anything about it.
Or did he?)
And it's taken me this long to muster up the courage to try again, because I really don't want to repeat the experience. But in the meantime I've been thinking about it, and I've managed to remember some things from Before.
Chakra is made up of spiritual and physical energies (also known as yin and yang energies, respectively), which are molded together, and flow through your body like blood. Spiritual energy relies on the mind while physical energy relies on the body.
Theoretically, I probably have more spiritual energy than physical. The problem with this is that there needs to be a balance between the two energies. So I have to focus on drawing together and molding the same amount of both energies, because otherwise the spiritual energy will overwhelm the physical and whatever ninjutsu I'm trying to use will not work.
Though doesn't account for genjutsu and tai-ninjutsu.
Genjutsu relies more on spiritual energy, since it uses your and your enemy's imaginations to fool their mind. It doesn't do anything physically, only mentally. Not to say genjutsu isn't lethal. If you mess with the mind enough, you can probably get someone to have a seizure, to believe enough that they're hurt for their body to hurt themselves, and even to stop their heart.
Probably.
Tai-ninjutsu relies on physical energy, since you're enhancing your own body. With enough control, you can punch a rock to dust, like Tsunade, and lift things that are three times your weight. I'm not sure if tree and water walking falls into this category, but I would think so, since you're reinforcing your feet (or your shoes, more accurately).
The problem with all this is that it's conjecture at best. I have no proof. And the Academy doesn't teach chakra control for years yet. I don't even know if the Library has scrolls on chakra control.
But this is all I have.
And using this as a basis, I'm guessing my ratio of spiritual to physical is roughly 1.5:1. There'd probably be a higher discrepancy if this body wasn't so suited for physical activities and Naruto wasn't so inclined to run around. I get much more exercise done now than I ever have Before. But that's not the problem.
The problem is—and I'm only guessing on this—I have a lot of chakra, being of Uzumaki descent. More than most my age, probably, though nowhere near what Naruto has, what with his access to Kurama's chakra. But the more chakra you have, the harder it is to control. The less control you have, the more chakra you waste. The more you waste, the quicker you become tired.
It's...
If you look at this like (very skewed) game mechanics, you need experience points to level up. Experience points are gained my raising your stamina. You raise your stamina by gaining physical and mental (in this case, spiritual) points. Physical points are gained by doing physically straining activities like running and sparring, while mental points are gained by doing mentally straining activities like learning and repeating jutsu (such as the leaf sticking exercise).
But the amount you need to gain to level up becomes steeper as you level. So that you may only need 5 experience points for each level until you reach level 5, and then 10 points for each until level 10, and then 15 points for each until level 15, and so on and so forth.
And the difficulty to gain a physical or mental point depends on what you're more suited to.
So for someone like Naruto, it would be easier to gain physical points and harder to gain mental points. And while he gains more and more physical points, because he's more likely to do physically straining activities, he won't level up without gaining mental points. Which is why he would repeatedly practice jutsu, like Kage Bunshin or Rasengan, which would gain him mental points, and thus allow him to level up.
Of course this is only on the stamina/chakra front.
You can also gain experience points from other things, like bukijutsu or fuuinjutsu.
But this is also effected by chakra control. The worse your chakra control, the more it negatively effects your stamina.
Say Experience point = (stamina / chakra control) + bukijutsu + fuuinjutsu. And (physical points + mental points = stamina) * chakra control.
Or: exp = (st / cc) + bk + fu. (pp + mp = st) * cc
Say Naruto's cc is 1 (out of 5), his pp is 3, and his mp is 1.5.
So (3 + 1.5 = st) * 1, making 4.5 = st.
Naruto's stamina is 4.5.
Now say Naruto's bk is 1.5 and his fu is 0.
So exp = (4.5 / 1) + 1.5 + 0, making exp = 6.
And say you need 5 exp to level up, Naruto would go from level 1 to 2.
But the more important equation is: success rate = (stamina / chakra control) x level.
So success rate = (4.5 / 1) x 2, which makes success rate = 9.
And all this thinking makes my head hurt, which is why I have a few pages of notes on this. Of course this doesn't quantify even half of the things a ninja can learn, like genjutsu, taijutsu, iryo-ninjutsu, and poisons, among other things. But those can be added onto the exp equation.
But none of this actually matters, because like I said, it's conjecture. But I'm definitely going to ask Raidou for more training when I see him, because he never kept his fucking word.
And he's not going to get out of it the next time I see him. He's not.
And now that I've broken my brain thinking this up, I need to go do something else. Like bother Naruto, since he likes bothering me so much. Not that I dislike him bothering me (and wow, way to sound like a tsundere).
.
.
I just realized I haven't thought up how to get revenge on Lunch-face. It's been a couple of days since the incident and I haven't seen her since. Not that I went out of my way to look for her. We're not in the same class, that much I know, but we do share the same lunch. Unless she's been avoiding me, I should have seen her at some point.
I did see Lefty and Righty, though. Righty tends to glower at us whenever she sees us. So I wave cheerfully at her in response. Lefty just kinda nervously skitters around us. Her nervousness makes me nervous (which makes Naruto nervous), so I tend to avoid her. Lefty and Righty have been avoiding each other, too.
They're not what's important, though. Lunch-face is. That bitch hasn't shown her face around us, but that doesn't mean I forgot what she did. And yeah, Naruto got to kick her ass, kinda, but I didn't. I need to… to do something.
First, I need to collect as much information on her as I can. If I remember correctly, her name is Michiko. Her friend's name is… Kaoru? Her teacher is female, and there are only so many female teachers at the Academy, so that should narrow down my field of search. I can't just go around asking about her, though.
Which is why I need to break into the Faculty Office.
I say "break in," but it's not like they lock the place up until the last teacher leaves. Unfortunately, some of the teachers actually eat in there (like they can't be bothered to leave when they can eat off campus? Well, I guess some people prefer packed lunches—saves money, at the least), so lunch time is out, and skipping class to break in will make it obvious that I'm the culprit, so that's a no go, too. Which means I'll have to do it after class but before the Academy is locked up.
Which means I'll need an accomplice.
Considering the only "trustworthy" person available is Naruto, I ask him. Not like I have much of a choice, since we're almost always together and he'd probably find it weird if I told him to go home without me.
"Okay," is Naruto's response when I ask him.
I don't know why I'm surprised. He doesn't like Lunch-face, and it's not like he's got someone to tell him that what we're going to do is wrong (technically he does, but that person's me, who's asking him to do the rule breaking, so...).
So I bite back my disbelief and tell him my plan.
"Most of the teachers leave after school or are teaching another class, but there is usually a teacher in the Office. I need you to set up something to lure out anyone inside the Office long enough for me to get Lunch-face's file. Say, five to ten minutes?"
"Okay, but what?" asks Naruto. He bounces on his toes in excitement. "What should I do?"
"Um," I start, then pause. What can he do? I'm not exactly sure. But... "I'll leave it to you."
Naruto beams at me. "Great! I have a idea!"
"An idea," I automatically correct, making my twin scowl at me. I roll my eyes back.
Then I leave the bathroom stall we were hiding in (what? Where else were we supposed to hide? This was the only "private" place I could find inside the Academy on such short notice) and poke my head out of the bathroom to see if the coast is clear. Naruto copies my actions, dramatically throwing his head side to side to check both ways. Thankfully, no one is around.
Once we're outside the bathroom, I turn back toward Naruto. "How long do you think you'll need?"
Naruto scrunches his face and crosses his arms in contemplation. Though, I don't know if he's just being dramatic or actually needs to think about it.
"Eh," he grunts. "Give me five minutes." Then he grins wickedly at me (or as wickedly as a four year old can, which is... surprisingly well) and dashes off.
"Wait—!" I shout after him, but it's futile.
Ugh, the least he could've done was tell me what he's going to do.
Well.
Do I really want to know? This is Naruto I'm talking about. The boy who creates (will create?) the Sexy Jutsu or whatever it's called. The renowned prankster.
...Though I haven't actually seen him pull a prank before. Will he start in the future? Or is that something I inadvertently changed? I actually wouldn't mind if he started pranking people, as long as he doesn't prank me, since it can be considered a form of training. Hmm, maybe he can become a trapping specialist.
And—I really shouldn't be standing around here. I should be heading toward the Faculty Office. Once I reach the first floor, I search for an empty classroom near my goal. Leaving the door open just the slightest bit, I listen carefully.
Silence, at first. Then I pick up noises. Distantly, I can hear the sound of a voice droning on. Low pitched, male. Probably one of the teachers in a classroom further down the hall. There's nothing else for half a minute, then—a loud bang.
Someone shouts, words garbled. A loud, familiar laughter rings out, followed by the sound of running. Naruto blurs past the classroom I'm hiding in, shouting taunts behind him.
"Haha! I can't believe you fell for that! Stu-pid!"
"Get back here!" a male teacher growls as he charges after Naruto, his feet harshly pounding the ground. I don't get a good look at him, but what I do see of him seems pink-ish. Like he's covered in pink glitter or something.
...Is he?
There's the sound of a door sliding open. A voice chimes up. "What's going on?" Another male. My heart starts beating furiously. Shit, I'm nervous.
"I don't know," another voice responds. Female, older.
A pause, then: "What is that?" the female asks. There's the sound of the door opening further and then footsteps. "Is that... itching powder?" she sounds incredulous.
More footsteps, coming closer to me. My heart tries to leap out of my throat, but I swallow it down, biting my lip to stop any sounds from escaping me.
"Uh, do you think...?"
"We should probably check it out. Just in case." the female sounds determined. Yes! Go go go!
"Well, if you're sure," the male responds, hesitant. They start walking, heading closer and closer to me. My breathing quickens. I have to cover my mouth with my shirt to stifle my breathing. Shit. Shit shit shit. "Man, what a pain. I was almost done marking up today's tests."
"Don't complain. I still have half of mine to do and the math homework I assigned. You won't believe some of the answers I get."
"Yeah, bet I can easily top any of yours. This one kid..."
I wait until their voices are faint echoes, my heart pounding in my throat, before slipping out of hiding. There's pink powder on the floor (where did Naruto get this?) leading a trail from a classroom nearby to down the hallway toward my right. I don't linger—there's not enough time for me to waste—before making my way toward the open door of the Faculty Office. Just to be safe, I crouch low and stick my head in to make sure no one's inside.
It's empty.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, I quickly enter. I ignore my thundering heartbeat as I take in a quick survey of the place. The office is bigger than I thought it would be. I didn't realize there were so many teachers at the Academy. But I don't have time to be making such revelations. Standing on the tip of my toes, I look closely around the room.
There—at the other end of the office. The Records Room. Luckily I'm short enough that the desks cover me, so that if anyone looks through the window, they won't be able to see me. Except there are isles. I try to keep my pace steady and unhurried, though, in case someone does look in and see me. I don't want to look suspicious. Not like I don't already, being in here unsupervised. As soon as I reach the door, I try the handle. I really hope it's not—
Damn it.
It's locked. I really hoped it wasn't, but I guess I should have expected it. Maybe there's a key nearby.
Actually, there's a bunch of keys hanging up on the wall I'd just passed. Except they're freaking labeled in kanji. Great! I waste a precious minute looking for the stupid key before I finally find it. My hands are shaking and I'm jittery from nerves, making unlocking the door unnecessarily hard. It takes me two tries before I actually get the key in the lock, and then I freaking turn it the wrong way.
Way to fucking go.
Finally, I enter the Records Room, leaving the door open a crack. And promptly realize how much of a stupid endeavor this was because how the fuck am I supposed to search through all this?
There are rows upon rows full of not filing cabinets, but fucking hand-bound books. I bite back a groan of frustration and flip through the nearest book. It's full of entries for students from five years ago. At least three pages are dedicated to each student. But it's irrelevant, so I put it back.
I'm on my fourth book when I realize something I should have realized earlier, and god am I so fucking stupid. Because this is the Records Room, for previous classes. Not current ones.
Cursing myself, I put the book back and try to make sure everything's back in its original place. Then I leave the room, locking it behind me, and place the key back on its appropriate hook. And stare blankly at the teachers' desks.
I know I don't have much time left, so I can't search each desk individually. I'll have to narrow down the amount. Okay. Which one looks like it belongs to a woman?
Five desks have tissue boxes on them, three have lotion bottles. Most of them are pretty messy, with stacks of paper and grading books strewn about. God, which one is hers?
What do I remember about her?
Um. Strict? Her hair was dark, short, bangs cut slanted. She was on the shorter side, so her seat would be raised higher. She'd smelled slightly of some type of perfume (my nose wrinkles at the memory).
There! That chair is raised higher, and there's a bottle of scented lotion on her desk (her "perfume"). The papers and books stacked on her desk are neat, orderly. There are a bunch of sticky notes on the book at the top of one stack. I scan them, but they're not related to my search, except one that says "Check on Michiko," but it says nothing more, so I disregard it.
I flip through the book with the sticky notes, see it's her grading book, and set it aside. The next one, lessons plans, quickly joins it. The third one gives me pause. I can't read it. Coded? But I don't have much time left, so I move on to the next.
Jackpot! A hand-bound book full of student files. I quickly take note of what class she's in, Year 2 Class B. Luckily, the book is separated by gender, so I quickly flip through the female student entries. I find Lefty pretty quickly, note her name—Aikawa Kyoko—before moving on. Finally, I land on Lunch-face.
Tanaka Michiko. Ha! Now I know where you live. I pick up the nearest pen and write her address onto my arm. Time for some fucking payback. But before I close the book, a note at the bottom of the page catches my eye.
Suspended.
Oh. No wonder I haven't seen her around. Suspended. Serves her right. But why was she suspended and not her friends? And why—
The sound of footsteps startle me out of thought. Panicking, I place the books back into order and head toward the door. But no, that's where the footsteps are coming from. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck.
As I start to hear voices echoing through the hall, I run toward the closest open window and throw myself out. I land painfully on my hands and knees, scraping them harshly against the dirt, and almost start cursing aloud. But I quickly bite back even my whimper of pain and scramble to my feet, keeping myself low to the ground. I look around to make sure no one's nearby and lock on to a pair of startled brown eyes. Lefty's startled brown eyes.
Shit.
"Wha—"
But I don't wait for her to finish talking, instead booking it. I'm breathing rapidly, my whole body shaking, jittering from nerves, when I finally make it to the street I told Naruto to wait for me at.
When I reach him, he's leaning against a wall, a bored look on his face. People are staring at him oddly. I stop tostare at him oddly, when I get a good look at him. The front of his otherwise brown shirt is covered pink. The pink dust? The itching powder!
"Naruto!" I shout, rushing toward him.
Naruto glances at me, his face splitting into a wide grin. "Nee-san! How'd it go?"
"Never mind that," I wave my hand as if to physically push aside the topic. "Are you okay?"
I reach out to knock some of the powder off of him, but he quickly steps away.
"Ah!" he shouts. "What are you doing! Don't touch that!"
"What do you mean, don't touch it? You're covered in it!"
"No," he shakes his head vigorously, making some of the powder puff off of him. His eyes widen before he closes his eyes and clamps his mouth shut.
Oh crap. What do I do? Take the shirt off him? No, that'll get the powder all over him. Shit.
"How did you even get it on you?" I ask, irritation evident in my voice. Naruto's eyebrows furrow as he responds, except he doesn't open his mouth so everything he says is muffled gibberish. I roll my eyes and grab his hand. "Never mind. Just, follow me. I'll get us home. And then you'll take a shower, okay?"
"Mm-mm-mmmm-mm!"
(I realize, belatedly, I might have gotten away with asking Raidou about Lunch-face.)
.
.
A/N:
1 boy
2 mister
Someone asked about Renge's notes that lists Raidou being from Kakashi's generation. To clarify, Raidou is canonically 5 years older than Kakashi. The main reason Renge associates Raidou with Kakashi's generation is that Raidou is Genma's friend and Genma was on a genin team with Gai and Ebisu, and Gai is the same age as Kakashi. Also, Kakashi might have known Raidou at the least because Kakashi (at the time, part of Anbu) was assigned by Minato to guard Kushina. And since Kakashi graduated from the Academy at 5, there is the possibility that they graduated at the same time.
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