A/N – This is the last chapter in my revised version of this story. Hoping it is more in line with reality.

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Chapter 7

Deeks checked out of the hotel two days later and headed for home. The ocean had done its work, per usual, and left him feeling like he was in a better place. The time on his own, away from everyone, made him feel ready to face Kensi. He had received several texts and phone calls from her over the last few days but had not responded to any of them. He had needed a complete break as he decided how to talk to her about how he felt. He used the drive back to L.A. to practice the difficult conversation in his head.

Once he arrived home, he unpacked and took Monty for a walk. Back in the apartment, he sat on the couch and stared at his phone. Taking a deep breath, he called her number and she picked up immediately. "Deeks, where have you been? I've been so worried about you! Where are you now?"

When he could get a word in, he said "I'm home Kensi. We need to talk." She was silent for a moment, to the point that he almost asked if she was still there and then she quietly agreed he was right, they needed to talk and she would be by his place after work.

Kensi hung up the phone, trying to still her shaking. She was worried about what Deeks wanted to talk to her about. She hoped it was just about her accusations and what she had said about his dad, but from things Sam had said to her since Deeks had disappeared, she feared it would be much worse than that. She loved him, even if she hadn't yet told him in so many words, and didn't want to lose him. If she did, this time it would all be on her and she would lose the best thing that had ever happened to her. This time she would have pushed away someone she loved and who, she hoped, loved her back. He had always been there for her, had always taken her crap without complaint, but everyone has their breaking point, even Marty Deeks.

When she arrived at his place later that evening, she sat in the car for a moment and stared up at the lights shining through his windows. This place had always felt so welcoming, like coming home. She knew it was because he was there, waiting for her. This time she felt dread. When she left after their talk, would he still be her partner, her best friend, her boyfriend? She got out of the car and walked up to his front door slowly. She didn't use her key to enter, instead opting to knock. He opened the door and stared at her. She tried not to cry, looking at his face, the bruises now spectacularly black, green and yellow. The stitches still stood out on his forehead and chin. No welcoming grin or joke. She couldn't believe it had only been three days since she had seen him, instead it felt like it had been forever. "Can I come in?"

He stepped back and said "Of course." She walked inside and turned to face him.

"Kensi, I…"

"Deeks, I…"

They both spoke at the same time and both stopped, neither one sure how to move past this unusual awkwardness. Finally Deeks spoke up "Kensi, I can't go on like this. You can't keep accusing me of things I didn't do, acting jealous of every woman who comes within ten feet of me. I've never given you any reason to believe I would cheat on you; in fact, I've given you every reason to believe I never would. You can't keep putting me down in front of everyone else, punching me all the time. I lived through enough abuse as a child; I am not going to put up with it from someone I'm in a relationship with. I think we need counseling and, if you aren't willing to work with me on this, then we're over. Over as lovers, over as partners, over as friends. I'll leave NCIS and go back to LAPD or maybe find somewhere else to go." He managed to get it all out in one breath and then waited, watching her apprehensively.

Kensi felt like someone had just punched her in the chest. She couldn't breathe. Did he really believe they were in an abusive relationship, with her as the abuser? She couldn't find a single thing to say, just stared at him, open mouthed. When she didn't respond, he continued, telling her all the things he had thought about while he was away. He listed out the times she had physically assaulted him, the put downs she had thrown his way, trying to be one of the boys with Callen and Sam, ending with the hurt she had caused him by believing he had been unfaithful and using his dad against him. He told her how he had figured out he wasn't like his dad, but instead, his mom. This last broke through to her and she started to cry. She had listened to him and realized she could not refute anything he had said. Her skin crawled as she realized that, if it had been another couple she was hearing this about, she would have immediately named it domestic abuse. "I never wanted to hurt you Deeks; you are my rock, my everything. I never realized until now how bad I treated you, you never say anything!"

"I suppose Nate would say it's because of the way I saw relationships when I was growing up. That I had come to expect someone who cared about me to hit me, to put me down. Your saying I was like my dad was a wakeup call. I talked to Sam and he agrees that I need to stop letting you get away with this crap. I, WE need to be in a more healthy relationship. I want it to be with you but, if it can't be, then it can't be. I'll get over it and move on. It's up to you." he said and then waited again.

"You talked with Sam about this, about us?" she asked. He nodded. That explained some of things Sam had said to her over the last couple days. Mostly about respect and treating people like you wanted them to treat you. She took in a deep breath and said "I'll do whatever it takes Deeks. Whatever you want me to do." She reached out her hand to him and he took it. She hadn't been sure he would. "There are some things I need to tell you." He nodded and led her over to the couch and sat down, drawing her down beside him. He kept her hand lightly in his.

She gathered her thoughts and started. "You know how my mom told me that she left my dad because she fell in love with another man. I didn't know it was a lie until I reestablished contact with her several years ago, after finding my dad's killer. All I knew was that she had cheated on the man who was the most important person in my world and I saw how it hurt him." She paused and took another deep breath. "You know about Jack's PTSD but what I never told you, never told anyone, is that he cheated on me. Constantly. When he came back from Afghanistan, he was a changed man. He said coming home to me was like hitting the ground after flying. He excused his cheating by saying he was just trying to find someone who would help him fly again, but that it was me he still loved. It hurt so bad, but I forgave him every time, accepting his excuses, believing there must be more I could do. Then, after all I put up with, all the work I did trying to help him, he just up and left without a word. I vowed I would never again stay with a man who was unfaithful. I think I started expecting it, looking for proof in every little thing that the guy I was with did, to show he was cheating on me."

She paused and looked at him. He tightened his hand on hers, giving her hope that he was starting to understand. That he could find a way to forgive her, for this at least. "Then Jason Wyler walked into my life" she continued, causing a small smile to play across his face. "Even before we were together-together, I had feelings for you and every woman that came near you was suspect. You have such an easy way with people. I've seen the connections you make with them, something I envy. In my eyes, why wouldn't every woman want you? I know in my head that all the flirting was harmless, but my heart was another matter. It was just waiting to get broken again. I would get jealous of every one of those women. I know it's something that I need to work on and, if you give me another chance, if you can forgive me, I promise I will. I promise that I will always talk to you before making assumptions, if you continue to promise you'll always be faithful." she looked at him hopefully. He appeared to be lost in thought.

"Ok, maybe I can understand why seeing me in a compromising situation with another woman could make you react the way you did. But Kensi, telling me I was just like my dad? That is probably the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me."

She looked at him and replied fiercely "You are NOTHING like your father Marty Deeks! What I said was out of anger and jealousy, I was looking to hurt you the way I thought you had hurt me. You are one of the best men I've ever known and I'm sorry that I ever let you think otherwise." She drew in a breath and told him something that that had been on her mind for a while, something that she had been afraid to tell him. "I love you."

That wonderful, heart stopping, crooked smile broke out on his face and he tightened his grip on her fingers even more. "I love you too Fern." and she knew she was on the way to being forgiven. They would start counseling. He was right, they both had issues from the messed up childhoods both had endured. They would have to work through them, but, with that help, she was sure now that they could make it.

Epilogue:

Deeks had been back to work for several weeks and Kensi was on her best behavior. Sam and Callen had been nervous about the new dynamics between the partners, but had eventually come to the conclusion that this was better all around. They still teased and bantered, but the meanness was missing and she had only come close to punching him once or twice. Each time she had caught herself and Deeks had let her know how much he appreciated the effort she was making.

Deeks had discreetly reached out to Nate for the name of a counselor, not telling him is was for him and Kensi but, somehow he had known, simply stating that he was glad to hear they were taking this step and giving him the name of a man he highly recommended. They had immediately called to make an appointment and had already been through two sessions with the man. Both had taken to him and were optimistic about their future.

He had signed the paperwork to become an agent, resigning from LAPD, much to the chagrin of Lt. Bates. Deeks had felt that only having one master would be better for him and his relationship with Kensi. Knowing that he could no longer be pulled away from NCIS at the whim of another agency had made both of them more relaxed. The whole team had gone out to celebrate, including Granger, who had bought several rounds and had gotten a little sloppy drunk, much to the delight of the newly minted Special Agent Deeks. He still had to go through FLETC training but he was actually looking forward to it. Go figure.

LAPD had caught the guy who had beaten him at the warehouse. He was so stupid he had climbed out an upper story window and jumped, landing right in the middle of a SWAT team. Charges for the beating wouldn't be filed against him, they had more than enough to put him away for a good long while and that would leave Max Gentry as a viable alias for Deeks in the future, should NCIS want to use him. Deeks was quietly hoping Max Gentry had seen daylight for the last time.

When David had finally come home from London, Caroline had kept her promise and set up a dinner date with the four of them. The two women had taken to each other immediately, which surprised the hell out of Deeks. He couldn't imagine two people more dissimilar. His Kensi was strong and decisive, Caroline soft and timid, yet somehow it worked. He and David had laughed at the two women as they animatedly exchanged their life stories, totally ignoring their men.

It was a start and there were no guarantees, but they were doing everything in their power to make it work. Only time would tell.