"Yeah?" Imogen asked and I flushed a shade of pink. It was loud in the lunch room, too loud it felt, and I didn't know if I had the nerve to continue with my explanation or outing, if you will. I hesitated and looked up at Imogen as she ate her cheeseburger. She was waiting for me to continue, so I figured I might as well. I just hoped that I would have the right words to finally say to her.
"First off, I just want to say that I am so, so sorry for kissing you. That was uncalled for." I started way to apologetic for my liking. Immy merely nodded as I talked. "I really just didn't know what happened." That was partially a lie though. I knew exactly what happened; my need for her became too much for me to control. So I let loose. But she probably knew that, at least, I hoped.
"I probably hurt your feelings too, running out of there so quickly and all." Immy replied, apology clear in her tone of voice.
I shook my head at her. "You had every right to run out of there. I probably made you feel uncomfortable." I added but Imogen shook her head in disagreement. "You know, I hung the painting up." I said with a small smile, changing the subject if only for a moment.
"Huh?" She asked, looking up from her food.
"You painted me. I hung it up." I explained, and a smile spread across her full lips.
"Yay!" She said quietly, but then continued with our serious talk. "When you kissed me, Fi, I was just more shocked than anything." Imogen admitted and I took this a sign to go on with the conversation. So far, so good. I was just glad that she was opening up to me, and I could do the same with her. If anything had came out of our friendship, it was trust, and I was so thankful for it all.
"Well, I've been doing some thinking..." I replied, and yes, it had been some very serious and hard thinking. Those thoughts were consuming me, but I was no longer confused. The buzz of the lunch room chatter hung in my ear, numbing me as I spoke my next words. "It turns out... That I'm gay." I revealed but got no immediate reaction from Imogen yet. Suddenly, it was quiet for a moment, and she spoke.
"Really?" She asked and I nodded with a small smiled.
"More specifically, gay for you." I said with a slight laugh and she laughed too.
"I see..." She answered, leaving the sentence hang in the air between us. My heart was pounding, and I was so very, very afraid of judgement or rejection. I had no idea how Imogen was going to react. Again, the silence between us was defeaning as the lunch room got louder again.
"I mean, I understand if you don't like me back or anything like that. We can just be friends... As long as you're in my life somehow Immy, I know I can make this work. Ever since I met you, we've been inseparable, I can't go the rest of the school year without-" I rambled aimlessly, on and on and on. But Imogen cut me off abruptly.
"Fiona." She said, her brown eyes blazing.
"Hm?" I asked, looking up to be caught in her lovely gaze.
"I'm not gay." She stated and in that moment my heart dropped all the way down to my butt. She wasn't gay, and that meant that she wasn't into dating another girl. This was it. I contemplated getting up and walking away at that moment just so I didn't make a complete fool of myself, but I stayed, trying to negotiate, to convince, to do anything.
"Like I said, you don't have to-" But she cut me off again.
"I'm not gay..." She said again. "But when you kissed me, I know I felt something." Imogen admitted and she looked up at me shyly with a cute small smile written on her face.
"Oh." I said, just trying to contain the excitement that was bubbling up inside me.
"I'm not completely sure what I felt. Whether it was joy, or love, or happiness, or all three..." She added with a shake of her head, her pig tales dancing. "But I like you." That was it. It was over. I was literally dead with happiness.
"Really?"
"I couldn't see myself ever dating a girl... Until I met you." Imogen said affectionately as she grabbed my hand from across the lunch table. Of course, that got a few stares from some ignorant students.
"Imogen, you have no idea how happy you just made me." I admitted as I blushed, my butterflies returning.
"I guess I've always known my feelings for you, I was just afraid to admit them." She revealed, but I knew exactly how she felt. I was in that situation too.
"So... I guess that means we're gay?" I teased with a small grin. Imogen laughed.
"I guess so." She replied and it was quiet between the two of us, like we were the only two girls in the universe. I looked up, and her chocolate eyes met my jade ones. We smiled at the same time, and Immy squeezed my hand. "Will you be my girlfriend?" We both asked each other at the same time then burst into a fit of uncontrolled laughter and giggles. Then, we were serious.
"Yes." We both answered at the same time, and that was the best day of my life, because that was the day I began my relationship with Imogen. I was planning to make it last too, because we were going to be moving in baby steps together. I knew I was in love with her, but that would have to wait until a later time.