TITLE: Five Times Ryan Heard Kirsten Say, "Don't Tell Sandy"
PART 2/5: Open Arms
SPOILERS: Series

02. Ryan hated Valentine's Day. Just the sight of one red heart was enough to send him flying into a rage. It was nothing more than a profit-driven, pointless holiday. If there was no one to share it with, it was a sour reminder of loneliness. And... it was Kirsten's favorite day of the year.

That was the only reason Ryan agreed to tag along to this Valentine's Day singles' gala. If it were up to him, he'd be at home, brooding silently in the poolhouse... far away from his two ex-girlfriends, Marissa and Theresa. Marissa had been making puppy-dog eyes at him all night, pouting and probably wondering why he hadn't yet asked her to dance. Did he have to remind her of the 'Oliver incident' (as it was now known around the poolhouse)? And Theresa had been throwing him looks all night, too. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with either of them.

That was why he snuck outside, behind the huge country club, seeking refuge in the gardens. He leaned against the brick building and sighed, closing his eyes. Where the hell was a cigarette when he needed one? He gave them all up -- every single one -- all for Kirsten. And now he was desperate for one little ounce of nicotine.

"Hey, what're you doing out here?"

Speak of the devil. Or... as he looked up and met the blue eyes, he decided... angel. "Kirsten."

She gave him a darling smile, one that he liked to think was only for him, as she tilted her head and repeated her question. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just... taking a break."

"Ahh." Always tuned in to him, she nodded. "Hiding from the exes?"

He just barely smiled, one corner of his lips twitching. "Something like that, yeah. How about you?" His eyes flicked over her form, coccooned in a long red dress, and for a moment he was struck with the urge to tell her how beautiful she was. But instead, he said, "You didn't sneak out for a cigarette, did you?"

Kirsten rolled her lovely blue eyes and tilted her head at him again. "No. I quit when you did. I came out to--"

"Avoid Sandy?" he finished.

She sighed and leaned against the building next to him, their shoulders exchanging warmth. "Something like that, yeah," she echoed, rubbing one hand up and down her arm.

Ryan took note of this and reflexively removed his suit jacket. "Here," he offered, and draped it around her shoulders before she could protest.

"Thanks," she murmured, and together they leaned back against the building again, both staring straight ahead. Kirsten sighed again. "Sometimes I wonder why I like this holiday so much. Almost every year Sandy and I end up in a stupid fight about one thing or another."

"Then why do you like it?" he felt compelled to ask, more for his own curiosity than anything else. How could anyone treasure this holiday above all others?

"I just... I like the idea of it, I guess. A whole day devoted to showing the person you love how important they are to you, you know? Telling them what they mean to you. Not necessarily about getting them the most expensive gift to prove you care." She turned to look at Ryan. "Do you know what I mean?"

He nodded, meeting her eyes. "Yeah." Often times, he found it hard to break gaze with Kirsten Cohen. Over the past six months he'd discovered that the woman had an almost hypnotizing effect on him. He enjoyed the fact that he could read her with his eyes, and took comfort in the fact that she was the only one that could read him. A song floated out from the country club and Ryan, still never breaking gaze with Kirsten... the Queen of Hearts (of his heart)... the queen of the Cohen manor... asked her, "Wanna dance?"

Kirsten looked stunned only for a split-second, then she blinked and it was gone. "Sure."

Ryan easily recognized the song playing inside -- Journey -- and he chuckled, just as Kirsten was stepping into his embrace. With a surprised smile, she looked up at him, obviously unused to seeing or hearing him laugh. Maybe he needed to do it more often. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just... the song."

Kirsten raised her eyebrows. "'Open Arms?'"

"Yeah. Uh..." He pulled her close with a hand on the small of her back, grasping her hand in the other and holding it over his heart. "This stays just between us, but... Journey's one of my favorite bands."

"Really?" Her eyes glittered like stars under the night sky and for a moment Ryan was captivated.

"Yeah."

She chuckled and leaned a little closer, his suit jacket slipping from her shoulders as their cheeks touched. "Me too."

Ryan smiled and dared to press the object of his affection just a little closer... not wanting to overstep any boundaries but needing her just a little bit closer. To his surprise, she didn't mind... instead snuggling a little further into him. She was trembling, and Ryan couldn't be sure if it was the chilly February air, or something... else. "Kirsten..."

"Hmm?" She didn't move away from him, and... he suspected her eyes might be closed.

Words were never his strong suit, but he felt he had to force some tonight. Because she deserved to know. "You're beautiful."

He felt Kirsten tense just for a moment before she relaxed against him again, and replied softly, "Thank you." She hummed a chuckle as she added, "I think you're the first person to say that to me today."

"I'm sorry," he apologized instinctively and felt her shake her head against him while they continued to sway.

"Not your fault."

He knew that, and yet he felt awful that this lovely, caring woman was so underappreciated by everyone... sometimes including himself. If he had the guts to tell her exactly what she meant to him, he would. He'd tell her that she was beautiful every day... that she was slowly but surely becoming everything to him. But instead, he settled on a simple, soft, "Happy Valentine's Day, Kirsten."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Ryan bent to kiss Kirsten's cheek at the same time she pulled back to look at him, and their lips awkwardly connected. Both sets of eyes popped wide open and met in a panic, lips still chastely clinging. He should have pulled away at the first touch, but something held him in place. That same pull he felt six months before when they were at the bottom of the driveway smoking together. He was drawn to Kirsten, hopelessly devoted, and unfortunately unable to pull away. He counted the seconds until she'd slap him.

But that slap never came. Instead, he watched as Kirsten's eyes closed, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks while her hands flew up to cup his face. Ryan instinctively shut his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose, his hands on her waist pulling her closer. Her lips opened just slightly under his and he captured them again, stroked the fullness of her bottom lip with his tongue, and pulled away when she gasped into his mouth.

They stared at each other through half-lidded eyes, and Ryan couldn't help but note how her gaze drifted to his lips every few seconds. If that wasn't permission...

He leaned in to capture her lips again and heard her soft voice against his mouth.

"We, um..."

Ryan stopped mid-kiss and closed his eyes self-deprecatingly, leaning his forehead against Kirsten's. He opened his eyes when he felt her soft fingertips stroking his cheek; he met her gaze with their foreheads still touching feather-lightly as she whispered, "We probably shouldn't mention this to Sandy."

He nodded and took that as his cue to step back, his hands reluctantly leaving her waist. "Right." He glanced down at his feet, taking note of the fact that Kirsten was once again hugging herself for warmth. Reflexively, he bent to pick up his suit jacket and handed it to her. "Here."

She held up a hand to stop him, one of her tight, nervous smiles firmly in place. "That's okay, thank you." She brushed past him and Ryan turned to watch her go, keeping his eyes on her as she stopped in the doorway and turned back to him, eyes still slightly hooded with... desire? "And thanks for the dance."

He nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Sure."

Kirsten went back inside then and Ryan stared after her, thinking to himself that maybe Valentine's Day wasn't all that bad.

CONTINUED IN PART 3/5: His Salvation