TITLE: Five Times Ryan Heard Kirsten Say, "Don't Tell Sandy"
PART 5/5: Baby Steps

05. "She's beautiful."

"She really is."

"She's got gorgeous eyes."

"She's so... Aryan."

Three heads turned, three pairs of eyebrows furrowed at Seth Cohen, who shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets. "What? She is." He gestured to the newborn cradled in Kirsten's arms. "Blue eyes, beginnings of blonde hair, NO sign whatsoever of impending bushy eyebrows..." He threw his hands up in the air dramatically. "Where's the Jew-blood, Mom? Come on."

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "Seth..."

"Don't worry, son." Sandy Cohen clapped the back of Seth's neck, giving him a little shake, which Seth immediately winced at. "The Cohen part of her'll come out soon enough." He grinned at his wife. "She'll be learnin' to schmear before she takes her first steps, right honey?"

Kirsten tilted her head and smiled, fighting another eye roll, while Ryan watched this whole interaction from Kirsten's bedside with his arms folded across his chest.

"Of course, Sandy," she replied.

Seth sighed, accepting of his father's response, and nodded slowly, backing for the door. "Alright, I'm gonna go call Summer and let her know everything's okay."

Sandy pulled out his own cell phone. "And I'm gonna give Julie a call and make sure she knows we're not skippin' out on her wedding day." On his way out, he pointed sternly at Ryan. "You watch her."

Kirsten rolled her eyes once again. "I'm not made of glass, Sandy."

Instead of responding verbally, Sandy just exaggeratedly blew a kiss, grinned widely and headed out the door. Ryan and Kirsten smiled at his exit before turning to smile at each other. Their eyes simultaneously drifted down to the tiny bundle in Kirsten's arms.

"She is beautiful, Kirsten."

"Thank you."

"Did you name her yet?" Ryan glanced at the queen-size bed Kirsten was lounging in, wondering whether or not he could sidle up to her.

Kirsten smiled, recognizing the look on his face, and patted the space beside her as permission. When they connected from hip to shoulder, she turned to him and replied, "Sophie."

Ryan nodded slowly. "After... Sandy's mom, right?"

"Mm-hmm." She leaned against Ryan, fixing the baby's blanket.

Ryan took that as permission to slip his arm around the woman he so adored, and he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Sophie, huh?"

Kirsten nodded. "Sophie Dawn."

"Dawn?"

Blue met blue as Kirsten nodded once more. "After your mother."

For a long moment they just stared at each other, held a silent conversation with their eyes. Ryan thought it had maybe been five minutes before the silence was broken. And when it did, he was the one to break it with a hushed, "How long have you known?" He reached out to touch the plush pink blanket, gaze never wavering from Kirsten's.

"Awhile. At least since my second trimester if not longer."

Ryan stared down at the baby, part of him shocked though a rather large part of him had oddly been expecting it. Sophie's blue eyes were not Kirsten's, nor were they Sandy's -- they were his own. The nose and mouth were all Kirsten, but... the eyes. "The eyes give it all away, I guess, don't they?"

"Yeah," Kirsten murmured, tucking the pink blanket more snugly around her daughter.

"Why didn't you..."

Ryan trailed off and felt Kirsten turn her eyes up to him. He met her gaze, trying to get his point across. Theresa had told him a story about Kirsten long ago, getting unexpectedly pregnant, and what had happened as a result. He couldn't bear to finish the thought for fear it would trigger some traumatic latent memory.

But Kirsten understood. She could read him, she always could. "I wasn't sure for a long time. And anyways, going through it once was bad enough. Twice..." She looked down at Sophie and shook her head, voice growing soft. "I couldn't have handled it."

"I'm sorry."

Kirsten beamed at him and pecked him gently on the corner of his lips, whispering, "I love you" and cupping his cheek when she pulled away. "And I really wish you'd stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault."

"It's... my nature to, I guess. And, well..." He nodded down at the baby. "It's a little bit my fault."

"No, Ryan." Her eyes went back to Sophie and she rocked her gently in her arms. "It was both of us. She is both of us."

"But Sandy--"

"Doesn't know," she finished. "And don't tell him."

"I don't know that I feel comfortable with--"

Kirsten kissed him gently, discretely, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I just mean, I don't want you telling him. I will tell him in my own time. About everything."

"Everything?"

"Mm-hmm." She leaned against him a little more.

Feeling a strange Seth-like need to inject a little light into the impending serious situation, Ryan lifted his arm from Kirsten's shoulders, gave a half-smirk, and asked, "Even the smoking on the driveway?"

He felt Kirsten's smirk before he craned his neck down and saw it. She leaned in for another kiss, this one lingering, and whispered, "Baby steps."

Ryan nodded, repeating her thoughtfully. "Baby steps, yeah." He looked down at the beautiful bundle in the pink blanket and one corner of his lips twitched. "Ironic."

FIN