hello. sorry i couldnt update for a while. My sister is always on the computer so i never get to go on! trust me...its very annoying. anyways...i hope you like this one!

The Party

Today is the day of the party. All of us have been a little nervous since the morning to perform our dance and Mimi was freaking out. It was like she was on a "party high" or something. I couldn't wait to see her in her dress. We were all in the back room getting dressed and ready for the first half of the party where we dance. And yes, I was still Benny's date. After I told Collins my secret last night he had been worried about me. He says I haven't been acting normal. I just keep telling him I'm nervous about today, but I can't even convince myself. Collins was great though, he told me about his relationship with Angel and how he struggled with himself. But I didn't want to struggle, I wanted my life to be easy, and easy would be a life WITHOUT Maureen.

Speaking of easy, "Hey Joanne." Maureen came up to me happily.

"Hey." I said dryly from my seat. I was still putting my makeup on.

"Are you done yet, we have to get ready to go out!" Maureen said tugging at my arm.

"Maureen, stop, I'm trying to put makeup on if you haven't noticed." I said angrily.

"Sorry." She said disappointed.

I looked at her eyes through the mirror, "Look, I'll be out in a minute, don't worry." I smiled.

"Ok." She turned and walked into the room where everyone was standing with their partners.

I glanced at her for a moment and actually noticed how beautiful she looked tonight. Her messy brown curls were nicely combed and her eyes sparkled against her dress. Everyone had on the same dress I know, but she just seemed to stand out the most. I even saw Mark look at her with awe when she walked by. But I CAN'T think about her tonight…I was here with Benny, I needed to forget about her.

I examined myself in the mirror and was now ready to go stand by my partner. I got up, did one last mirror check and made my way towards the room. I walked past the row of my friends and made it to Benny. His eyes glittered when he saw me, "You look beautiful Joanne." He smiled at me.

"Thanks." I replied with a smile.

"Is everyone here now?" Angel yelled from the front of the row. She looked back and counted everyone. "Yup."

"I hope I don't trip." Roger said nervously to Angel behind him.

"You won't." Mimi came up to him and grabbed his hand.

Roger just looked at her with amazement. She looked so gorgeous. She had on one of the most beautiful dresses I had ever seen. It was a nice silky white, with a beautiful red design around the waste that indeed matched our dresses.

Roger smiled, "You look absolutely amazing Mimi."

Mimi smiled.

"Your dress is wonderful!" Angel ran up and hugged her. "You look great."

"Thanks chica, so do you." Mimi replied. She looked back at her line of friends behind her, "Is everyone ready to rock this bitch!" Mimi yelled.

"Hell ya." Everyone screamed.

"Then lets do it!"

The entrance music began and my heart began to race. We walked out pair by pair and into the room filled with people. Cheers filled the room as all of us walked onto the dance floor. The lights dimmed and there was a pause in the music and we all stood in our positions. I took a deep breath, "Don't mess up." I said to myself. Benny laughed at me. Then, the music began.

"That was so good!" Mimi came running into the back room again.

"I know, I actually didn't mess up." Mark said to himself.

"That was so much fun Mimi lets do it again!" Angel clapped.

"Please no." Roger begged, "I was so nervous, I never want to go through that again."

"At least you didn't mess up Rog." Collins laughed.

"Ya…MAUREEN actually messed up." Roger pointed at her and laughed.

Maureen pouted, "I'm sorry, I get confused on that one part."

"Because you weren't even THERE the day we learned it." Mark said.

"Joanne was sick, I told you. I couldn't just leave my best friend to DIE." She emphasized the DIE part dramatically with her hands flying back and forth.

I looked at her with a serious face and she chuckled.

"Then how come Joanne didn't mess up?" Mark asked.

Maureen glared at me and I shrugged. "That's not the point. Now can we forget about this." Maureen changed the subject.

Everyone laughed.

"You guys can go to your table now." Mimi said to us. "And enjoy watching me for the rest of the ceremony." She laughed.

"Will do." Collins saluted and we all went back to the main room.

We found the "court" table and all sat down, Benny followed and sat down next to me. Maureen sat beside me as well.

"When do we eat." Collins rubbed his hands together.

"Be patient Collins." Angel grabbed his arms.

After the ceremony Mimi greeted the rest of her family and said her hellos. Mimi looked so great, Roger must be happy I smiled. She came over to us and gave each of us a nice hug, thanking us for everything.

"You did great Mimi." I said.

"Thanks Joanne." She hugged me.

Mimi smiled, "Now…time to party!" Mimi grabbed Roger's hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor.

"Shake that thang Roger!" Collins yelled to him. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Lets go dance honey!" Angel grabbed Collins arm and yanked him away.

Benny held out his hand to me, "Want to dance?"

I hesitated before answering, "Sure." I grabbed his hand and we walked out to the dance floor.

When we made it there Mimi was dancing the night away, "Hey guys!" She said cheerfully dancing around with Roger.

I laughed at Roger's "moves" and began dancing. The dance floor was filled with people; it was hard to even move around without getting stepped on. Benny laughed and began jumping around dancing. Collins and Angel hopped over and we all formed a little circle, dancing around and having fun. Maureen and Mark eventually came over and danced with us too. I think Mark was actually WORSE than Roger. But hey, he was having fun.

"I like your white boy moves." Collins yelled to Mark over the music.

Mark was still dancing, "Thanks." He yelled. Everyone laughed.

"Go Mark, go Mark." Angel began cheering.

"Its my birthday, its my birthday." Mark sang doing the robot.

Everyone was laughing so hard they could barely breathe.

"I never knew Mark could be so funny." I said to Maureen laughing.

She yelled over the music, "Ya…he gets that way at party's" She chuckled.

After a few more songs of dancing…like usual…a slow song plays. Great, I thought. I tried making a run for it, but Benny caught me before I could make it away.

"Want to dance with me?" Benny asked.

"Sure…ya." I said.

Benny put his arms around my waist and he began to move back and forth to the music. Mimi and Roger were still out on the dance floor dancing, Mimi with her head on his shoulder moving back and forth. Maureen saw me and walked past me and winked. I shook my head. She just laughed.

"Soo…" Benny began. "How are you?" he asked me nervously.

"Fine." I replied.

Silence.

"You really do look nice tonight." Benny said sweetly.

"Thanks Benny. You don't look too bad yourself." I said.

He hesitated a little, "I…I really am going to miss all our dance practices."

"Me too."

"I'll miss seeing you every once in a while. Ya know…so we can catch up on everything and stuff." He quickly said.

I nodded and smiled while we continued to dance.

After a few awkward moments the song slowly faded to an ending. Thank God. The more time I spend with Benny the more awkward things get.

Benny took a short step away from me and asked me if I wanted anything to drink.

"Yes please." I replied.

He walked away and over to the food table while I went back to sit down with the others.

"Looked like you had fun." Maureen grinned. I sat down.

"Tons." I said sarcastically.

"You two make a great couple." Maureen said casually.

"Sure." I stuttered.

Collins was sitting across the table from me and he gave me a glance. I eyed him and quickly looked away. I knew none of my friends would care that I had feelings for Maureen, but I didn't want to go through that. I wasn't ready to be someone everyone didn't expect of me. I couldn't tell Maureen how I felt. These feelings had to blow over some day…and hopefully soon.

"Here." Benny came back and put a cup of Sprite next to my hand.

"Thanks."

"Guys having fun over here?" Benny asked sarcastically.

Collins and Maureen gave him a glared.

We all sat around the table for a couple songs…we needed our rest. Mimi, Roger, Mark and Angel were all still out dancing. I never would have thought Roger and Mark would be dancing all night. I silently laughed.

Benny kept glancing over at me. It was like he wanted to say something, but couldn't put together what. I just tried to pretend I didn't notice. I didn't really feel like talking to Benny at the moment.

"Can I talk to you?"

What perfect timing.

"Ya, sure." I replied.

"Somewhere quieter?"

I nodded.

I followed Benny outside of the ballroom, past the lobby, and outside the building.

"What did you want to talk about Benny?"

He stood quietly for a moment. "Well…I…really like you Joanne."

"Ok." I replied dumbly.

"And I was- was wondering if you would go out with me?" his eyes squinted a little.

I didn't know what to say. Going out with Benny would make my life so much better. Maybe not exactly happier, but easier. People wouldn't judge me, and I wouldn't have to worry about that one drama queen…Maureen. Maureen makes me question myself, makes me wonder who I am. Benny wouldn't do that.

"I umm…"

"Joanne?"

"I..uhh..sure..uh..sure…I will." I stuttered. I sounded like a broken record.

"Are you sure?" Benny seemed concerned.

I looked around nervously, thinking of something to say.

"Joanne." His eyes glued on mine.

I stared up at his dark face. "Yes Benny." I rolled my eyes a bit.

"Are you sure Joanne, you seem…reluctant."

My temper started to rise a little, "I'm here with you Benny, isn't that enough?"

He looked at me confused, like I was a stranger to him. "No, Joanne. It's not." He said slowly.

I could feel myself about to blow. I felt like all my emotions were coming upon me, feelings of great confusion.

"Will you stop questioning me Benny, I'm starting to get frustrated." I angrily stepped away from him and shoved my hand against my forehead.

"Joanne…what's wrong?"

"Nothing…Benny…nothing."

His face had a sense of sadness and worry in his actions.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No." I shook my head softly.

"Then what is it?" His voice rose. "Am I not right for you, is there someone else or something?" His eyes widened.

Water started to fill my eyes.

"No." I said quickly.

"Are you sure because you don't seem to be giving ME much attention."

I walked back in front of him and glared into his eyes.

"Do you like some other guy better?"

I looked away and was silent for a moment.

"No…it's not "some other guy" Benny."

"Then what is it?" The sound of his voice was getting harsher.

"Its…" I hesitated.

"What."

"Its…Maureen." I spat out.

Benny stood for a moment confused. "Look if one of your friends is giving you problems you don't have to take it out on m-"

"It's not like that." I quickly interrupted him.

He stared at me angrily.

I could feel tears about to burst through my eyes, "Its just I have a lot of problems…I need to deal with right now and your not really helping." I shot back at him. "I can't deal with you."

Benny stood in front of me stricken. He took his glare away from me and looked towards the ground. I waited for a response. Benny glanced at me again and stormed off leaving me outside.

Waves of tears began to stroll down my face. I couldn't stand all of these emotions. Walking over to the sidewalk I sat down on the curb. Sitting outside alone has seemed to become one of my daily routines ever since I met Maureen. How could I like her? I really couldn't. What would my parents think? My family? Everyone? I couldn't handle being like this. I wanted to forget about it all.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard a voice yell from behind me. I turned around and of course Maureen the drama queen was storming out of the lobby.

"Hell to you too Maureen." I said annoyed.

"What was that Joanne?"

"What are you talking about." I really didn't feel like arguing with the source of my problems at the moment.

"You just dumped one of our nicest friends!" Her temper rose a little.

"I didn't dump him Maureen. We weren't even going out in the first place."

"Benny is HEART broken right now Joanne." She angrily shouted at me.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that Maureen." I yelled back.

She glared at me, "You can't just walk out on someone like that Joanne."

"I didn't "walk" out on him, he walked out on me!" I couldn't believe we were arguing about this. Why did she care so much anyways.

"WHY Joanne. Just tell me WHY you did that."

"I didn't do anything Maureen." I said angered.

"Tell me!" She shouted at me. I was crying while I argued with her.

"Why does it even matter." I cryed.

"WHY Joanne." She said frustrated.

"BECAUSE." I shouted

"Because why."

"Because Maureen."

"Because WHAT."

At this point we were shouting at each other outside the building, "BECAUSE…of you." I said softly.

Maureen stood there for a moment, "What? What does this have to do with me, Benny is-

"Maureen." I cut her off.

"Just…why don't you like Benny Joanne." Tears filled her brown eyes.

"You really want to know why Maureen?"

She nodded slowly.

"I don't think about Benny every time I go to sleep. BENNY doesn't give me hugs every morning. BENNY doesn't make me smile Maureen. "

"What?" She softly said confused.

"BENNNY doesn't make me feel like the happiest person on earth when I'm with him." I stared at her crying. "You do."

There was intensity in the air. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and face like I had been rained on. I stood and stared at her. She just stood across from me, not saying a word. She was looking off to the corner with tears in her eyes.

"Maureen." I said to her. I had at least expected a response, but for once in my life she said nothing. For the first time ever, Maureen Johnson was speechless. My eyes stared into her eyes looking off the other direction. She was definitely thinking something. I just wished she would spit it out.

She didn't say a word, and with that, I walked away.