**Author's Note:: Hellooo again! Thanks so so much for reading and commenting and favouriting and following! I'm so happy that my last chapter seemed to go over so well! Thanks a bunch for telling me what you think!
Anyway, I hope this one is as good! I'm excited to post the next couple of chapters so I might post another tomorrow if life doesn't distract me! Please let me know what you think! Thanks again!
PS: I don't own Kuroshitsuji, only my character Haven! **
As Haven fled down the flooded cobblestone streets of London, she felt the backs of her eyes burn hotly.
But she refused to think about the situation now. If she remembered what it felt like to have Undertaker's lips against her own, she might be persuaded to return back to him.
And she couldn't! She had to ask around, find herself, regain her memories and catch the London killer!
She wasn't sure what time she'd left, but she knew it had been around early morning.
By the time Haven felt her fever getting the best of her, the sun was starting to set low in the sky, the moon rising along the horizon as if eager to take its place.
Haven was in an alley, but she wasn't quite sure where. Maybe it was in the outskirts of London, or maybe in another city entirely.
She slumped against the brick wall behind her, closing her umbrella as the rain finally drizzled to a stop.
First things first, she wanted to talk to the Phantomhive butler, Sebastian.
He seemed to know more than he let on, but Haven wasn't sure if he'd tell her anything.
But she had to try!
Haven gathered her draining courage and approached a man with a stack of papers tied together in his hands. He looked like someone who maybe worked for the newspaper, judging by his uniform and glasses.
"Excuse me, sir," Haven said, giving him a polite curtesy despite her soaked appearance. "Could you point me in the direction of the Phantomhive estate?"
The man looked suspiciously at her over his glasses, and set his stack of papers inside his awaiting carriage, where another man sat regally.
"It's about five miles down the road, to the left and over the bridge," the man answered, pushing his spectacles farther up his nose. "You've business there?"
"Yes," Haven replied, vaguely. "Earl Phantomhive is a friend of mine."
"Would you like a r-?" the first man started, but the man who was sitting inside the carriage suddenly cleared his throat.
"Frederick, we should be going now," he cut the man off. "You've given the girl her directions. We'll be late to the factory if we don't leave soon."
Frederick, the man with the stack of papers, looked up to the one in the carriage with a confused expression. Then he finally looked back down to Haven helplessly.
"Eh... Have a lovely day, miss," he stuttered, hauling himself back up into the carriage beside his stack of papers.
"Thank you," Haven mumbled, turning in the direction the man had pointed her.
Now she'd have to walk five miles by herself, which meant she'd arrive at the Phantomhive estate in the middle of the night. Again.
With a sigh, Haven heard the two men behind her start a conversation that piqued her interest.
"Why couldn't we give her a ride?" Frederick asked the other. "It's bound to start raining any moment."
"Because, she's obviously a loon," the man replied. "Earl Phantomhive doesn't have friends."
"So? What does it matter?" Frederick continued, confused. "If she's lying and shows up at the estate, there's no way she could get past that kid's butler. He's downright inhuman, he is."
Their voices became too far for Haven to understand, but something about their conversation had prickled the back of her neck.
Ciel didn't have friends?
Sebastian was inhuman?
Something about it seemed like more pieces added to her puzzle, and Haven wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to end the games.
She continued walking down the road, carriages passing her up leisurely, as her feet slowly started hurting again.
As soon as she'd started her journey, she felt raindrops pinpricking against her cold cheeks and opened her umbrella, hoping that she made it to the Phantomhive estate soon, before night fell and she was alone... in London... with a murderer loose in the city.
...
Undertaker continued standing in the centre of the room, frozen like a statue for a long time after his Haven had gone.
She'd truly left him, she had.
Maybe deep inside, he'd been expecting her to stay.
Maybe he'd wanted her to... But there wasn't a blasted thing he could do about it now.
Something gripped inside Undertaker's chest like a strong fist surrounding his heart, but he'd never experienced such sensations before.
Maybe this was what the humans called loss.
Maybe this was what the humans felt when their loved ones left them.
Maybe this was why death was considered such a tragedy to the humans- because they felt this... this pain.
Undertaker had never had loved ones, nor had he ever had anyone leave him.
Was it sadness that made him feel so broken, as if he were torn between being rooted to the spot and wanting to chase after his Haven into the city?
Maybe it was sadness after all...
Undertaker put a hand to his chin in thought.
Haven had made the decision to leave, she had.
He should simply let her go. He'd learned quickly that humans always strived to be free until they really were...
Maybe she'd return to him someday.
With this finalising thought in mind, Undertaker plopped down cross-legged on the wooden floor, listening to the sounds of the storm.
His house seemed so quiet and still without her presence. It seemed darker somehow, as well, as if she'd radiated her own light and it had been stolen away with her.
His dear Haven had still been in the midst of a fever when she'd fled out into the rain.
What if she suffered a relapse and died in the middle of the woods?
What if she met up with the murderer about in the city, and he made even more of those cruel marks on her soft skin?
Something like rage shot through Undertaker's stomach, and he found his fingers clenching in a fist.
Haven was his...
She belonged with him, she did! He didn't want to think about any other man touching her.
Suddenly, Undertaker stood up, his jaw set firmly.
He'd find her, he would, and beg her to come home. Maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into her.
He didn't know what he'd been thinking, allowing her to flee from him so easily.
But... What if she found out...?
Undertaker quickly shook his head, dispelling the thoughts.
Maybe she wouldn't find out.
It was all he could hope for.
Grabbing his jacket and tying it securely at the base of his throat, he pulled his hat farther on to his head and started out into the rain.
He might as well go out and find her, he thought as the rain fell against his face like tears he had never shed.
If he didn't have his haven, after all, then he wasn't quite sure he'd be able to sleep at night.
...
Haven had been walking for an awfully long time. Her feet were so sore that she was certain she had blisters. Her hair was soaking wet because the wind had started blowing the rain at an angle, and her clothes were soaked through to her skin.
It was so cold that she was shivering uncontrollably.
Had she walked five miles yet?
She wasn't sure. But she hadn't seen the Phantomhive estate anywhere.
Darkness had set by now, and the stars weren't even there to give her hope because of the thick rain clouds above her.
Where would she sleep tonight?
Maybe Earl Phantomhive would offer her a room until the morning, but what about then? She could go off in search of her memories, but what if Sebastian refused to tell her anything? Where would she look next?
With something like despair building up inside her chest, Haven wondered why she'd even left Undertaker. At least when she was with him she was safe. She'd always had a place to sleep out of the rain. She'd had food and tea, and he'd always took care of her when she was sick.
Out here, in the road, she had nothing but the umbrella he had given her.
Haven felt hot tears threaten to spill over, when she finally saw the Phantomhive estate growing larger in the distance.
She pushed away her anxiety and started running, eager to finally see someone she was familiar with.
As she approached the doors, she quickly banged the knocker against the wood, the wind blowing the rain against the back of her head.
Once again, she was sure she'd look a fright whenever Sebastian opened the door.
After a long moment, the doors parted and opened, revealing Sebastian in his usual black suit, his white glove at his heart.
"Miss Haven," he greeted, his scarlet eyes wide in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to change his mind. "Is everything all right, my Lady? Not that the household doesn't enjoy your company, but the circumstances were a trifle dire the last time you appeared on our door step so late at night."
"I... I have some questions," Haven gasped, her breaths coming in spurts because of her long journey.
"Is that all?" Sebastian replied, seeming relieved that she hadn't been attacked yet again. He took a step back to allow her into the estate. "Please come in out of the weather."
As Haven quickly entered, Sebastian surveyed the grounds as if in search of something, and upon seeing nothing, turned back to her disheveled state. "You didn't walk here this evening?" he questioned, hesitantly.
"I did," Haven stated, looking back bravely into his crimson gaze.
"If you have no carriage and you're aware in advance of your visit, you may simply send word to us via letter or telegram and I can send a carriage to you," Sebastian offered, surprised.
"This was... a sudden trip," Haven told him. "It was quite last-minute."
"Allow me to fetch you some dry towelettes before taking you in to see my master," Sebastian said, with a bow. "Please excuse me."
He disappeared so suddenly that Haven didn't even have time to tell him that she wasn't here to see Ciel Phantomhive.
She waited in the entrance hall only a brief moment before Sebastian returned with some small towels and a cup of hot tea.
He handed her the cup and she took it between her shivering hands as he draped the towels over her shoulders.
"Thank you, Sebastian," Haven nodded as she sipped at the hot liquid.
"It is entirely my pleasure," Sebastian bowed gently. "Please allow me to escort you to my master. He's currently upstairs at the moment."
"Actually," Haven cut the butler off as he paused in his words. "I needed to speak with you tonight, not Earl Phantomhive."
"I... see," Sebastian said quietly, looking down at her in a mute confusion. "May I ask what this is about, miss?"
"It's... It's about my past," Haven replied, watching as Sebastian tilted his head at her, interest sparkling in his red eyes.
"That is quite a mysterious subject, my Lady," Sebastian smiled politely. "Why ever would you come to me about such matters? I'm simply a butler for the Phantomhive estate."
"Something tells me that you know more than you let on," Haven added, suspiciously. She took another sip of her tea. "Something happened when you visited and helped me prepare tea. You seemed to be studying me, and looked surprised as if I were an entirely different person. Please, tell me everything you know."
Sebastian smiled politely again, tilting his head so his asymmetrically styled hair brushed his face a bit.
"I can assure you, my Lady, that I know nothing for certain about your past," he replied. "I'm afraid I can not help you."
Haven felt something like distress weigh her chest down heavily.
"Please," Haven practically begged. "I don't care if it's even speculation. Just tell me something! I walked five miles in the rain to be here!"
"I'm very sorry," Sebastian added, seeming detached from before. "All I can tell you is that the Undertaker had found you in an alley while you were on the verge of death, and seemed to have taken you in. It's what he told me himself when my master and I visited him about the murders."
"Can you tell me why I was in the alley?" Haven inquired, hopefully.
"I'm afraid not, my Lady," Sebastian replied, quietly, his Crimson gaze locking with hers as if he wanted to see her reaction to his next words. "From what the Undertaker had informed me, it sounded as if you'd been attacked."
"Attacked?" Haven had assumed as much, but to hear it out loud made her heart skip a beat in her chest.
"Yes," Sebastian concluded. "That is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. I really am unable to tell you anything else. My sincerest apologies."
"That's... alright," Haven sighed, defeat crushing her chest like a heavy stone. What was she supposed to do now? "Thank you for helping me, anyway."
"It seems as if another storm is approaching," Sebastian added, politely. "Would you like me to make up a guest bedroom for you? I couldn't allow you to be out in a carriage in this weather."
"I... I suppose," Haven relented, her mind still trying to decide her next course of action. "Thank you very much."
"It's no problem, my Lady," Sebastian clipped. "Please wait here. I'll be back momentarily."
He was gone before she could even blink, down the hall with his coat tails flapping around the corner.
He was only gone a couple of minutes when he returned suddenly, with a bow.
"Please follow me," he smiled politely, turning and gesturing up the stairs. Haven followed after him, impressed.
"That was fast," she commented.
"If I couldn't manage the guests of the estate, then what sort of a butler would I be?" he commented back, modestly.
Haven continued following him down a hallway, toward a door at the very end.
"I've warmed up a bath of hot water for you," Sebastian added, opening the door to allow her inside. "Night clothes are at the foot of your bed, as well as clothes for tomorrow morning. Please inform me if there is anything else you'd need."
"You did all this so quickly?" Haven gasped, seeing the tub of hot water from the adjoining room. "That's- that's amazing!"
"Your words of praise flatter me, my Lady," Sebastian smiled, with a hand to his heart. "But... I'm simply one hell of a butler."
The way he said it sent shivers down Haven's spine.
The room was silent for a long moment, until Sebastian finally gave her a quick bow.
"Please don't hesitate to call if there is anything you need. Have a lovely night, miss," he said, backing out of the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
Haven was suddenly left alone, feeling something like loneliness swirl about her stomach.
As she walked into the bath room to wash up in the tub, she realised that she missed Undertaker.
She hadn't seen him all day, and she could feel it in her heart.
Now that she had time to think, she wondered what he'd been talking about before. He'd said that once Haven had her memories back, she wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore.
Why? What had happened? What did he do?
Haven suddenly realised that Undertaker seemed to be the only one who had all the answers. Sebastian couldn't or wouldn't tell her anything, and there was nobody else she could turn to.
If she wanted her answers, it appeared the only thing she could do was to return to Undertaker and convince him to tell her. Maybe if she pleaded with him long enough, he'd finally give in.
Haven washed up in the tub and dressed in the clothes Sebastian had laid out for her, collapsing in the bed exhaustedly.
Her feet were aching, her legs felt like gelatin, and she wasn't even sure if she'd be able to walk tomorrow.
But she closed her eyes anyway, and finally fell asleep against the satin blankets.