Passing Years

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N-thanks for the kind reviews, Nikki.

Part Two-Bonding

Bella's conversation with her husband was short but hardly sweet. She informed him that she would be staying on longer with Jacob than she had anticipated and hoped that under the circumstances he would show some understanding. Edward's reply had been cold. "You will do what you always do, my love. What I or anyone else thinks hardly comes into it." He had hung up on her before she could say anything further. Bella had thought she would be upset at his coldness, but she found herself feeling rather indifferent. She glanced down at her left hand and wound her ornate rings around and around on her slim finger. Sometimes they could feel so incredibly heavy. She felt weighed down by them; they were as good as a ball and chain. Slowly she slipped them off her ring finger and put them away in her purse. Right now she felt it was hardly appropriate to wear them. It was with a lighter step that she went to tell Jacob the news that she was free to be with him for as long as he needed her.

They rented a plush apartment in Seattle. Even though Jacob wanted to be away from La Push, he still couldn't force himself to wander too far. He rejected Bella's idea of taking a long holiday and perhaps touring a little. He sat her down and told her all he wanted was to be with her, together, doing every day ordinary things, without anyone coming between them. Bella had studied him closely as he revealed the simple things he wanted. It had now been over three weeks since he had banished the wolf, and so far he seemed to be fine. The only difference she could detect was his scent and that his touch didn't burn like it used to. Now when he held her hand or put his arms around her, it was a pleasant warmth, and this enabled her to tolerate his embraces for longer periods. They had taken to sitting on the huge balcony of an evening which was attached to the apartment and sharing a glass of wine as they looked at the amazing view across the city. They talked about old times and they both felt the glow of nostalgia surround them as they laughed softly and smiled as they recalled their father's, Charlie and Billy. It had hurt Bella deeply when she had lost her father. She had travelled back alone for his funeral, and it was Jacob who had been her rock during this difficult time. Edward's only words had been ones of surprise. She was now a vampire, it was a fact of their existence and he couldn't understand her grief, as far as he was concerned Charlie had lived a full human life, so she should get over it.

Occasionally they wandered out for late night walks, they would stroll the city hand in hand when most people were asleep in their beds. It felt like a magical time for them, as if they had all of Seattle to themselves. Of course there was the normal night life, but it felt gentler during the wee hours of the night. Sometimes they caught a movie. Jacob would sit with his arm across the back of her seat chewing popcorn, occasionally throwing it at her when she became engrossed in the story unfolding on screen. He teased her mercilessly that she was still a sucker for a good love story, and it was moments like these that she felt her chest tighten.

They toured the clubs and danced the night away, both feeling carefree and full of abandon as they spilled out onto the streets at three, maybe four in the morning with the other revellers. Bella tried to ignore the fact that Jacob didn't seem as light on his feet as he had been and was tiring quicker. She would swallow down her worry and laugh and joke with him as he made fun of the fact that he couldn't keep up with her. Another month passed in this way, the time went so quickly that they were hardly aware of it as they were having so much fun in just being together.

One night Jacob told Bella he didn't feel like going out and wanted to spend the evening indoors just watching a movie and ordering a pizza. Bella acquiesced to his wishes and made the call to the pizza place while he selected a film to watch. Bella had been drinking a lot more wine of late and was now building up a real tolerance for it. She could now consume a whole bottle and not feel any ill effects. Even though she couldn't share a meal with Jacob she could drink with him and it made it seem cosier as she dimmed the lights and sliced the pizza, giving him a huge portion. Jacob smiled at her indulgently as she passed him the piled up plate.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to eat all of that." He joked.

Bella became tense. Of course he couldn't, she had simply forgotten. With the wolf gone Jacob didn't need to consume so much. If she had been human still she would have blushed. Instead she took his plate from him and smiled at him sheepishly. "Brain freeze." She tapped the side of her head.

"It's okay, honey. Don't stress." Jacob leaned back and watched as she took off a few slices and then passed the plate back to him. She then settled next to him on the leather sofa, a huge glass of wine in her hand. "You've become addicted." He said pointedly.

Bella shrugged as she took a sip. "It makes me feel more normal….you know." She tried to smile, but her mouth wouldn't work right and it came out more like a grimace.

Jacob noticed and put his plate down so he could look at her better. "What's on your mind, Bells?" He asked gently.

"Oh, nothing." Bella lied as she took another sip from her glass.

"You can't fool me. You never could. Talk to me honey." Jacob put his hand on her knee and leaned forward a little. It was at that moment that Bella noticed the first grey hairs glinting on his head. There were only a few but to her it was a sign and it frightened her.

"Jake, please. I'm trying…I am….but….I'm…I'm…I don't think I can lose you. Please reconsider what you're doing? It's not too late!" She put her glass down and locked eyes with him. She couldn't hold her emotions in any longer, she had been trying to shove her anxieties deep down inside but the little signs of his aging were getting more noticeable and it was making her feel vulnerable and scared. "These last few weeks, they've been…they've been the happiest I've been in forever. It's shown me what should have been…could still be if you change your mind. Please? I know I'm being selfish… I know…"

Jacob's eyes were full of empathy as he reached out and stroked Bella's abundant hair; he ran his fingers through the silky strands as she let out a dry sob. He could tell that it irked her that she couldn't cry. "Bells, I know you're frightened. I am too, but I can't go back to how things were. I…I was lonely. The pack is gone, my best friends are gone, my dad, everything that was keeping me here has already passed away…but you…" He paused for a moment as Bella hung her head. She trembled, something he hadn't seen her do since she was a human. "You are the one thing that I always wanted and could never have. I am not saying there weren't other women, but I didn't love any of them enough to marry them. I only ever loved you. But even that is not enough to keep me going day after day. I wish you could understand I need to see the end…I need…" He was getting emotional now as he ran out of words. He leaned his forehead against hers and they both remained silent for a while.

"Forgive me. It was a moment of weakness." Bella was the first to break the intense silence. She sat upright and picked up her glass, draining the wine as she tried to regain her composure. "And I do understand, now more than ever before. My life has been empty for a long time. The only time I was ever happy and excited was when I came to pay my yearly visit to you. They were the only times I felt remotely alive."

Her words only made Jacob feel more disconsolate for the wasted years. If only she had chosen differently. But there was no point in regrets. What was done was done. All it came down to was who you loved, and he loved her and she loved him. She may be a vampire but she was still his Bells underneath her hard veneer, and she had owned him the first time he had laid eyes on her. He forced a smile on his face and sat back. "I better eat this pizza before it gets cold." He picked up the plate and took a bite.

Bella's face slowly relaxed into a smile and they both settled back to watch the movie.

The film was finished. Bella cleared up the plates and wine glasses and dumped them in the sink, ready to be washed up later. She could feel Jacob's eyes on her as she roamed about the room, tidying this and that. His gaze was so intense that she could swear it was making her cold skin burn. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore. She turned to look at him and she could sense that he was building up to ask her something important. "What is it?" She winced as her voice sounded too loud in the tense atmosphere. "Whatever it is, just say it?" She begged.

"I want to make love to you, Bella." Jacob's words took Bella by surprise. She froze and stared at him, unable in her shock to answer him straight away. "Well say something?" Jacob demanded after another long moment had passed. He now sounded angry and hurt, as if by her silence she was rejecting him.

"I'm sorry, Jake. You caught me off guard." Bella floated about the room in her agitation as she avoided looking at him directly.

"Well?" Jacob pressed. "Is the idea of being with me in that way disgusting to you or something?"

"No…no, of course not." Bella forced herself to stop moving about. She swallowed a few times, an old reflex habit she had never gotten over from her years as a human. "I just…I mean will it be possible? Before…you remember…touching and everything it affected us both too much."

"I was a wolf then." Jacob stated flatly. "I am all human now, it's different. You slept with the leech before you changed."

"Yes and that worked out far from well." Bella snapped as old painful memories began to assault her. She hated revisiting her honeymoon; it had been less than a stellar success.

"I'm sorry. I was being crass." Jacob stood up and approached her cautiously. "It will be fine for us. You are not a newborn and I just really…really need you. I always have." It was the longing in his eyes and in his voice that persuaded Bella that it would be stupid not to try and give into the passion and desire that had always hovered between them, but had never been given in to for fear of what could happen. But Jacob was right, he was human now, the wolf was banished and she had total control, always had done. She found herself nodding and smiling slightly, suddenly feeling shy, like a girl about to experience her first time, and in a way perhaps she was. Jacob's whole posture relaxed as he cupped her face in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her.

A/N-thank you for reading!