I know nothing about the medical field so if something I did isn't real just kinda go with it... Enjoy, this one is real emotional!
I walk down the street. The sky is cloudy and it starts to rain a little bit; sometimes during this kind of rain you can smell a very nice fresh air. That's something I'll miss, smelling fresh cut grass and the freshness of spring, once all the ice and snow melt and the first sent of the blooming flowers pop in.
I walk past all the blank faced peoples as I come closer and closer to my fate. Just at the edge of town there is a cliff that is pretty infamous, especially for suiciders. Thankfully fratello's my only other living relative so no matter what with life insurance it can only benefit him or else what's the point of having it?
It was only about 5 minutes before I reach the cliff and knowing how serious Ludwig seemed he'll figure out where I am pretty soon. I walk to the edge and feel the wind blowing against my being. I turn around and spread my arms out like I was Jesus on the cross. Letting my body relax I simply let go and free fall towards the Earth. I close my eyes and instantly I feel as if I'm weightless and really: It's the most amazing sensation I've ever felt...
'L-Luddy~! Ah, I-It feels so... g-good ve~' He looks into my eyes and slowly kisses me.
'Say my whole name, Felicano.' The panting grows intenser and the feeling in my gut got warmer and stronger.
'I love you, Ludwig~' Something had sparked inside him, 'A-ah~ L-Ludw-aah~~'...
My eyes shoot open as my body trembles and the tear drops fall down with my body. That night, that sensation, the feeling of him and my body tangled, not knowing which body part is whose.
It feels like I've been falling forever, like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Maybe I get to see my wonderland.
My body suddenly comes to a stop and I feel a great ache in my spine, tailbone, and head. My world goes white and spinning for a moment but then they start to straighten out and my vision starts to become clear again. A somewhat blurry shaded figure eclipses over my body like I am the Earth and that the Moon. Once I can see again I quickly become nervous because I know exactly what's coming my way... A scolding.
"YOU FREAKING IDIOT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" My body shrinks up like a little kid who gets in trouble but thought they were doing good. His eyes are all red and tears are running down his face, some of the drops even landing on me. "I get a call telling me your going to kill your self!? I thought I was going to lose you! What was going through your head when you decided to jump off that edge!?"
"I thought.. I thought... I thought that since my home was taken away and I was going to waste away I should at least give you a chance and let you have the life insurance money... I thought since I have nothing to live for I might as well do this... I thought that since my heart won't stop breaking I can make it stop... I thought that I can finally be at peace and all my body can finally relax and not have to worry about anything, is that not too much to ask!?" I pause for a moment to calm down and curl up in a ball. I finally realize that I'm on top of some sort of cushion, like the gymnastic mats. That must be how I survived the fall.
Lovi sits beside me and puts his hand on mine. "Feli... If I lost you my life would be empty, I'd lose my other half... Could you imagine that emptiness? Thinking that someone should be next to me but there's no one, and there'd never be anyone there. My heart would be missing the other half, I'd be torturous!" Guilt pangs through my body at the thought of Lovino being gone from my life.
"I-I'm sorry, I just... I lost all hope..." He wraps his arms around me and buries my head into his shoulder. I feel safe and sound when he hugs me like that, he does it very rarely but when he does it never fails to make me feel secure.
"I told you, never lose hope and that's why I told you, so you don't do something crazy like that. Now... It is arranged that you will stay with Ludwig." My body stiffens strangely at the shocking information.
"But what about you? Y-you need money too! I can't just leave you like that ve!"
"Ludwig offered to send me $25 every week to help pay for expenses and that should be enough because I still am making money, not much but it's something. Stay with Ludwig till you find another job then you can come live with me and we'll make it. We can get through this, but if you go and do stupid shit that'll never happen!"
My head raises as a figure walks towards me and instantly I know who it is.
"Come on Feliciano, lets go." I grip my brother tighter, not wanting to leave his protective side. He stands up and pushes me off and into Luds strong grasp. He nods at Lovi and takes me away into his car. "I figured if I went to save you it wouldn't work but your brother knows you better than anybody so I called him."
"If you try to kiss me again I'll call Lovi and have him take me away..." He sighs at me.
"Look, Vargas... You clearly have a great heart, the kindest heart I've ever seen in a person. I thought about vat you said and I agree vith you, I am selfish. You are one of the least selfish people I know and it... Vell, it inspires me to become a better person. One reason being that I don't vant to lose you, I vant to see you smile and I vant to be the vun who makes you smile. In conclusion, I decided starting tomorrow I vill turn this society back to its original state."
Never in my life has someone thought of me so greatly. No one has every looked at me as a role model or an inspiration, maybe a few kids who love art but they are amazed by everything. I can't disagree anymore, he has caught me in his web but this time I am here to stay.
"Really mean it?" I ask him softly. I stare at him waiting for an answer. He leans in gradually until our lips meet and a great wave of passion sweeps us deep into love. A strange feeling flows through the entirety of me, from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes a tingling sensation takes my very breath away as the world around me blackens and all that is left is us.
We part our lips ever so slightly for air but my breath is completely taken away, but in a good way~ He parted his lips for another reason though.
"Does that answer you question?" My face flushed nods quickly.
"I can't do this right away ve. I need some more time to gain your trust but in time ve, in time we may just make it~" He smiles at me as I childishly smile back. "Hey Luddy?" I ask as I kick my legs back and forth.
"Ja?" He replies as he starts driving away.
"I think this is a start of a great new beginning~" I can see him resist a smile that's on his face.
"Ja, I think so too."
We soon arrive at his home and as I get out of the car a pain shoots from my tailbone, up my spine, and to my head. My world slowly turns black...
There's a strange room with a bunch of chairs. How did I get here? I look around the room curiously trying to figure out where I am.
'He was a good man.' My attention turns directly to the sound, a man standing at a podium next to some kind of box. 'A friend to all and the kindest of hearts. It is always sad when someone so generous and full of talent departs this Earth too soon.' My attention turns to the box which turns out to be a coffin, but it's closed for some reason. A picture stands on it. A picture of me... My body trembles as if the whole place was hit by an earthquake. Thoughts racing around my head as fast as light. Am I dead? What happened? Is this even real? Wait, can anyone see me? I'm not dead!
'I'm not dead! Look, I'm standing right here!' The man and everybody else in the room ignores me. By everyone else I mean Ludwig, Gil, Lovi and Gino... I run to Lovi and try shaking him but I can't even seem to touch him. Am I a ghost!? Lovi is in tears and Gino tries to distract him. I turn to Ludwig but he doesn't look much better. I can see the struggle he's having trying not to cry. Gil looks kinda sad but I think that's because Luddy's so upset by this i's affecting him too. It's hard for me to see this, mainly because it's my fault they're so upset.
Suddenly Lovi jumps up and starts screaming things you can't understand because he's way too angry and upset to even think properly! He finally calms down enough to where I can understand him.
'Y-you potato eating bastard!' He tries to calm down more, 'It's your fault he's dead!' The preacher guy walks between the two.
'It is no ones fault that this man died but simply nature, everyone has to die some day and you can't pin this on someone. He's just as distressed as you are sir now may you please show some restraint like this gentleman?'
'If it weren't for him my brother would still be alive!' Shakily he takes something out of his coat pocket. I see that look in his eye, the crazy look of a man whose lost all that he cared about. 'H-he... He was my world! My little brother! The other half of me! You killed him! You killed a part of me!' His body is shaking so bad and all I wish I could do is hug him so tight and never let go, until I notice what he took out.
'Sir. Please stay calm. I will escort these two gentlemen out, just don't shoot.' Lovi's eyes intensify as his grip on the gun tightens. His trigger finger tenses up as the gun shakes with the motions of his hands.
'No! This bastards gonna pay for this! He's gonna feel the same pain I'm going threw!' Instantly I know what he's going to do and my head turns straight to Gil. He knows what's going to happen as well, as does Ludwig. Instantly Ludwig stands up tall covering his brother. Without a second thought I run for Ludwig, almost by instinct and wrap my arms around him as I hear the gun going off. My arms go right threw him but I caught my balance. Small feelings of pain go threw my tailbone, back, neck then head.
Blood is splattered everywhere and not before long Ludwig collapses over. Gil's face is one of shock and disbelief. 'B-bruder?' No reaction. Tears start to fill his eyes and he falls to his knees, shaking the man under him. 'You idiot speak to me! Come on ass, you're stronger than that! This ain't funny, say something!' I feel myself starting to cry as the realization of what truly just happened strikes me like a baseball bat.
'Luddy!' I fall to my knees beside Gil 'Don't die, you can't! I... I love you!' ...
A white light surrounds my vision, the world spinning again.
"L-Luddy... No... Luddy...L-l-!" My body shoots up all ridged. Gil and Lud are sitting next to me. I look around and I think it's Ludwig house.
"Yo guy, you alright?" Gil stated surprisingly quiet concerned.
"Wh-where am I?" I ask.
"It's bruders house. You passed out while getting out of the car. I heard you had quiet a fall earlier, that's probably why." I sigh in relief.
"It was just a dream..." Gil smirks something devilish.
"You were saying bruders name. You dreaming about him?" I blush red.
"You were in it too... And so was Lovi..." Lud changes the subject.
"You just need to relax, I'll go get you some pain killers" He gets up and goes to the kitchen. Gil looks at my strangely.
"Why are you staring at me ve?"
"Take off your shirt." My face flushed the deepest red known to man.
"U-uh..." Gil bursts out laughing.
"Bruder told me the whole story, I just wanna see if you injured anything. You're clearly in pain. Just take your shirt off and lay on your stomach, I promise I won't hurt you. If you feel wrong just tell me or call for bruder." Somehow I feel like I can trust him so I do as instructed. "You're very thin so it's real easy for your spine to get injured and that cliff isn't a short fall. Your bruder must've really known how to protect you or else you'd be dead. I think he used some sort of air support because air slows you down greatly but doesn't quiet stop you so your organs don't collide." His hands press down on my back. "Does that hurt?" I shake no. He places his hand on my spinal cord and I yelp. "You're going to be very sensitive around there for awhile. May I check your neck and head? With a fall like that it's easy to get whiplash."
"Si." He gently touches the back of my neck in several places.
"Can you flip over please?" I do so but I seemed to struggle a bit getting my legs to move. "Can you sit up?" I do. He slowly roles my neck around. "Does this hurt?"
"A little bit, but not much." He pulls my head back as far as it will go.
"How bout now?"
"It feels... strange..." He moves my head as far forward as he can. "It hurts my head..." Ludwig's voice booms from the kitchen.
"Ve're out of pain killers, I'm gonna go to the store and buy some. Gil... Rührt ihn nicht an." *Do not touch him*
"Ja ja. Er ist dein Fuck Spielzeug. *He is your fuck toy*"
"Sag das noch einmal und ich werde dich töten. *Say that again and I'll kill you*" I hear the door and I know he's gone... I have no idea what they said, I think I heard fuck ve...
"You are gonna have to stay still for awhile and hope nothings got messed up in your brain. You caused your head damage but I can't tell how much..." He takes a deep breath in then deep breath out then takes a few steps back. "Feli, can you stand up and walk to me?"
"Sure." I feel like that was a strange thing to ask... Until I realized I wasn't standing. My legs maybe twitched some but that's all. "I... I can't... Please don't tell Ludwig ve!" Gil sighs.
"I want to do some tests but... I don't think you'd enjoy it."
"What are they?" I ask.
"Well, one would be testing for if your nerves just shut down because of shock or if your disabled, the other one is to check the damage done to your tailbone. Both of them require gloves..." My cheeks burned. "The first one is what they use for car crashes to see if you're legs are working or not, I am not trying to be inappropriate... For once." He smirks at me which makes my cheeks blush even more.
"Uuh..."
"I won't force you but it looked like your legs were twitching which means they're still active. You did hurt your spine but I don't think you're paralyzed." I gulp.
"Alright then..."
"I'll go get my gloves, you can fix up in the mean time." Gil exits the room. I rub my leg but it's like they're asleep. Am I really paralyzed? If I'm paralyzed, what if Luddy doesn't want me ve? W-what if he finds me useless and just cost money! Veeeee, Ludwiiiiiig!
"Are you really sure you want this?" I nod. "I'm to place you correctly." He picks me up and sets me so my knees are on the floor and my chest on the couch. "Now, when I insert the fingers your body should squirm naturally, if it doesn't then you probably have sacral paralysis. AKA the most common one from movies and stuff." I nod and try to unbutton my pants but my hands are shaking too much. "Let me help you... Just relax, just pretend I'm bruder..." I take his advice and it does become easier to handle. I relax more and really I'm not scared or nervous. My pants are unbuttoned and now pulled down. Gil sort of bends over me. "Ready?" I give him a nod.
Ludwig POV:
I just got Feliciano some pain killers and I am glad to be home. I'm scared thinking what Gil is doing with him... They wouldn't betray me, right? I carry the things to the house and unlock the door. As I open the door.
"Ah~! G-Gil, I feel it~" I hear Feliciano yell from the next room.
"So, tell me when you feel something." Those two timing bastards. I run inside and set the things down, still in tune with the conversation.
"Gil, it hurts... A-ah! No, not there!"
"Sorry, I'll be gentler. We should hurry up, bruder should be back soon."
Feli's POV:
"Sooner than you think." The surprise jolt my body around which hurt my tailbone.
"Ow..." I bit my fist to keep from being too loud.
"B-bruder, it's not what it looks like! The awesome me understands that Feli is yours, I-I'm just helping him! Remember, doctor!" He stomps towards us and grabs Gil by the collar, I use this time to readjust myself.
"You are not a doctor, you don't have a degree and aren't licensed to preform such acts. I told you not to touch!" A small glance of Gil's face and it is easy to tell how hurt he was by Luds words.
"The awesome me was trying to help..." He pushes Luddy away, "His tailbones broken, he'll shouldn't move for awhile. He may need surgery." He walks away annoyed. "And his legs temporarily shut down!" He yells from the other room.
"Hey, Lud?" He looks down at me, "Can you please put me back on the couch?"
"Can't you do it?" I shake my head.
"I can't move my legs Luddy. If I try to pull myself up it'll really hurt so can you be gentle?"
"I'm taking you to a real doctor." He picks me up and I instantly wince like a dog that just got his tail stepped on.
"You're just gonna waste money." A voice said from the doorway. "He'll do what I did and he'll say what I said, it's pointless. If I took that test I would be a doctor but I hate tests!"
"Tch..." Ludwig leaves with me in his arms. He gently sets me down on a car seat and straps me in then gets in on the other side. "I'll drive careful." He starts up the car and heads for the nearest hospital. He takes me in and sets me in a chair then goes and talks to a lady sitting at the front desk. He comes back, picks me up and takes down the hall and into a room. He closes the door.
"The doctor will see you soon." In about 5 minutes a nurse comes in.
"Good evening~" I look at her and something sparks within me.
"No... That means..." The doctor walks in behind her.
"Good evening everyvun. I am doctor Edelstein and zis is my assistant nurse Hedervary."
"Goodevening doctor. I am Ludvig Beilschmidt." Ludwig says. I simply state one thing.
"Parents..."