Authors Note: So this is just something I started today. AU and set six months after Johanna Beckett is murdered. Kate becomes addicted to drugs and almost dies; the story starts with Kate in rehab and, like my style has always been, there's memories and flashbacks so you won't be confused. I hope... Can anyone guess what ABC programme I've been inspired by? Go listen to the song this is named after, Someone to Love You by Mary J Blige. It's beautiful. :) This started as a one-shot but it's probably going to be a multi-chapter because, let's be honest, Alana likes to write angst. Hope you like it, and as always, I'd love your reviews! And sadly, I still do not own Castle or the characters in this story apart from the ones I make up...

It's going to be a bumpy ride!

"Ms. Beckett? My name is Claire Wilson. Can you hear me? Katherine?" The voice sounded off, like it was bubbling up from beneath the sea. It was miles away, muted and fake. Or was it? Sounds were becoming clearer, more real. The voice stated the name once more, muffled yet crisp.

Katherine Beckett opened her eyes slowly. Her throat was dry and constricted; breath was coming in short gasps, scouring her lungs like fire. Slowly, a blurry figure beside her started to come into focus, as did the rest of her surroundings. Charcoal grey walls encased her; the surface beneath her was stiff, unforgiving. Blinking dazedly, Kate trained her eyes on the face becoming clearer. Clear brown eyes stared down at her, blonde hair clipped back from the round, fresh face, lips forming words that fell on deaf ears yet again.

Kate stared blankly at the face, the muffled sounds bouncing around in her head forming words. It was hard to make sense of it all; the person above her looked calm, yet Kate could hear water rushing around below them. It was growing louder and more insistent; she was going to drown. Opening her mouth, Kate tried to make a sound, but choked when she realized she couldn't. Her voice was broken. Again she tired, mouthing the words she so desperately needed the calm face above her to hear. Nothing. Tears formed in her eyes, slipping down her cheeks. The water was slapping against her hand, jumping up to touch her face. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I don't want to die."

"I know you don't, Katherine. Can you sit up for me?"

'Huh?' Kate blinked again. The face gazed down at her, reassuring. It had heard her.

"Kate, I want you to sit up. Please."

Slowly Kate pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her eyes saw more clearly now. The person beside her was dressed in neat, casual clothes. They were in a room with a dark grey carpet floor, and charcoal grey wallpaper. There was a small picture frame hanging on the wall opposite Kate; the window to the left of her showed glimpses of a rose garden and a large expansive lawn. She could see the ocean in the distance. Looking down with gaunt eyes, Kate took in the surface she was on top of; a firm, crisp-linen-covered bed.

Slowing raking her eyes over her surroundings, Kate brought her face back to the person standing next to her. "Where am I?" she muttered hoarsely, too tired and too preoccupied with the receding water sound rushing through her ears to care how weak she sounded.

"We've been over this before, Kate. You're at the Serenity Springs Rehabilitation and Treatment centre in Miami. You've been here for three days so far and you're doing really great. We're going to be moving you into a larger shared room in a couple of days." The woman smiled, placing a hand on Kate's shoulder to steady her.

Kate breathed in shakily, licking her chapped lips. Everything did feel vaguely familiar. She had certainly seen this woman before. "What do you mean, into a larger shared room?"

Claire Wilson smiled kindly at Kate; most patients were like this for the first few days. "You're in a detox room at the moment, with one other girl. Once you're through the initial stages of detox and the worst of the withdrawal, we'll integrate you into a room with three other women."

Kate frowned slowly, her head thumping. Detox? She closed her eyes and willed the ache in her body to go away. "Why am I…here?"

"You checked yourself in for rehabilitation of your drug abuse. You took the first step towards recovery, Kate."

Suddenly everything came rushing back to her. Getting fired, stealing money from her father, taking hit after hit and getting high every night, him.

"He's dead." She whispered, stating the fact. It wasn't a question because she already knew the answer; perhaps she'd even known it before they got into the car that night.

"We're actually going to do it? We're going to get clean?" His voice was unsure, excited.

She smiled slowly; they were going to get sober, together. "Yeah, we're going to do it together, okay? If we want to have a family, we need to be clean." They were going to have a family; kids, a dog, a cat. "I love you."

He looked her over, studying her naked figure wrapped up in his bed sheet. "I love you too."

This was it, their last high together. She grinned lazily at him, watching him snort the lines he'd so finely crushed. A long sigh escaped his mouth, content for this to be the final time. Reaching out for his hand, she pulled him towards her, brushing her lips against his; she'd never felt the way she did when she was with him. He made her feel secure and loved.

A horn was blaring somewhere in the distance. Lights were growing brighter, blinding her. They were spinning, or was that just inside her mind? A sickening crunch and a low, wailing cry that may have been coming from her own mouth…

Claire looked sympathetic as she nodded. "Yes, he is."

Kate swayed where she sat, feeling heavy and weightless at the same time. Numbly, she reached up to the chain around her neck and grasped the ring that lay against her chest, tears falling onto her hand. The same low, wailing cry she'd heard on that night filled the room, bouncing off the muted walls and echoing inside her head. Hands were holding her up, surrounding her; whispers were floating through the air, carrying soothing melodies and fuzzy pictures of needles, tiny white pills and the ghost of someone she knew.

His face swam into view, blurred slightly around the edges but so real, she thought she could touch it. So she did, and she almost cried with joy.

"I'm alive." Her voice was numb, blank; devoid of any of its usual spark. Machines beeped close to her, and she could feel what was left of her two-week bender with him being drained from her body.

He merely nodded, not taking his eyes off her. She'd hit rock bottom; he just hoped she knew that. He couldn't lose her to drugs the way he'd lost his wife to murder.

"I need help, Daddy." She whispered, letting fear thread through her voice.

"I know you do Katiebug." Jim Beckett breathed, thankful for those four words. "You're going to be okay."

Kate walked slowly up to the reception desk; a middle aged woman sat in a chair, typing at the computer sitting in front of her. Her father's arm wrapped firmly around her shoulders gave her the confidence she needed to take those last few steps. The woman looked up at her, smiling warmly. Clearing her throat quietly, Kate opened her mouth and uttered the words she never thought she'd have the strength for.

"Katherine Beckett. I'm checking myself in for rehab."

"Daddy? It's Katie. I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing okay. I'm being moved to an integrated room in a couple of days with some other girls. The people here are really nice but…I-I'm homesick Daddy and I miss you so much…I wish you could visit, but I know that can't happen until I'm over my withdrawal. I just…I wanted to say I'm trying, Daddy. I want to get better. I want to be happy again…I love you." A click signaling the end of the message sounded; Jim let the tears flow freely as he reached over from where he was sitting to press the play button for the third time. "I love you too, bug."

You need someone to love you
you need someone to hold you
tonight.

Mary J Blige