Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the long wait, I was really busy. This will be a short chapter but I guess it's better than nothing, right? Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed of favorited my story :)

Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Outsiders' or it's characters, only Brooke.

I can feel the blinding sunlight through my closed eyelids as soon as I wake up. Softly fluttering my eyes open, I'm quickly taken by natural surprise that I'm not in my warm bed where I should be. Instead, I'm lying on the rocky and cold ground of my backyard- why the hell am I here? My head is killing me and I'm sore all over.

All of a sudden, memories of last night come flooding back into my mind. I go from feeling achy and sore to completely and utterly disgusting. How could I let this happen? How?

I should've fought him off. I know I could've. Why didn't I? Sure, he was drunk and 6'1 while I'm stuck in my little 5' frame, but I could've run away. I could've run right back to the Curtis's house. I'm very agile and had plenty of time before he got to me. Instead I whimpered and backed away slowly until I hit the wall.

I'm so stupid. Stupid Brooke, idiotic Brooke. I keep scolding myself as I slowly enter my crappy house through the back door. I take notice that my uncle's car is gone which is a great relief. Although he never really pays attention to me anyway, I'm not really not in the mood to face anyone at the moment.

Closing the door behind me, something starts happening to me that hasn't happened in years. My knees buckled beneath me and I collapsed to the floor in sobs. I was saving it for the right guy at the right time. Unlike all of my friends and every other girl in the neighborhood I knew, I treasured my virginity and it meant a lot to me. It was the one piece of innocence I had left in me and it was stripped away from me like I was worth nothing at all.

I hate Bob. I hate him. The one Soc I didn't mind and then he goes and does something like that. Drunk or not drunk, he could go straight to hell. How could anyone be so insensitive and despicable? I shouldn't of trusted him- shouldn't trust any Soc. At least us greasers stand by the people we respect. I really thought Bob and I were on respectful-terms. Boy was I wrong.

Brooke, pull yourself together. Brooke, you've faced worse than this. Brooke, you're stronger than you think. Don't let him define you, Brooke. The worst punishment is to keep the smile on your face and act like it doesn't bother you. Don't lose your image, Brooke.

I keep trying to convince myself that this wasn't a big deal but I don't believe myself. But maybe I'm right. This happens to tons of girls in my neighborhood. Sure, it bothers the nice girls but others are probably proud of it. I'm not gonna be one of those perfect little good-girls but I'm not gonna classify myself as a slut- who am I? What am I?

Another thought pops into my mind- how will people react when I tell them? Will they make a fuss over it or will they show no sympathy at all? How would anyone ever view me the same?

I really like my image and I'm very proud of it. I'm laid back, sarcastic, cool and collected. I'm tough and could be hard as nails but I'm nice to people I like. If I like you, you'd love me. If I hate you... Eh, not so much. I'm one of the guys and people seem of like that about me- I'm not one of those preppy girly-girls. At all. But if people find out, maybe that's what they'll think of me.

If I don't want anyone to think that of me, I simply won't tell anyone. Problem solved. Besides, how could I tell anyone without breaking down? Why is life so complicated sometimes?

There's one person I surely can't tell, and that's Dallas Winston. He's too overprotective and I'm honestly terrified of how he'd react. I love Dally, just like all of the guys, but he gets real scary when he's mad or hurt. He could really hurt Bob, which I wouldn't mind, but that means he would end up in the cooler (what else would be new?). Maybe he's proud of his criminal record, but I won't let something like that happen again because of me.

I know what this means and it hurts really bad. I can't tell anyone and I tell the gang almost everything. I won't be able to even look at one of them without wanting or spill my guts to them. I can't hang out with them anymore, no matter how hard it'll be. And I already know it'll be really hard.

Im sorry for the length of this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any requests for later chapters let me know and thanks for reading.