"This isn't over…this isn't over…" it kept replaying in her head. His blue eyes shining back at her. It had to be over; she wouldn't hurt her daughter like that…as much bad as Sam and she had been through she was not going to be the one to break her heart. Nor could she deny that her feelings for Jason ran deep. In the few months they had spent together; she found herself looking forward to smiling more…he hardly spoke, and yet maybe that balanced her long windedness out…and now she was forced to just let go…

He walked out of the hospital tired…tired of this…tired of everything. A couple years ago he would've walked away just like she asked him…he never had a problem with that…and then there were the women who changed his life. He could count them on one hand…Robin, Carly, Liz, Courtney and Sam…he had given them all up at one time or another…forsaking his own happiness for something else…but he was older and wiser now, and this time…he wasn't walking away without a fight. It looked like he would be finding one…there in his Penthouse sat a confused and fuming Caroline Benson.

She sat by Sam's bedside; Kristina came and hopped up into bed with her older sister…They were so happy together. She was happy; she loved Sam…even if Sam didn't believe that or love her…She would do anything in her power to make her happy…even if that meant giving up the one thing that had kept her sane these last couple of months. She saw Kristina's head poke out from the bottom of Sam's blanket and ask the eight million dollar question, "where's Jason?" After that she had walked out; rounded the corner and completely lost it…

Carly could see the tears in his eyes…the anguish on his face…he looked tired, a five o'clock shadow marred his usually beautiful bronzed skin. She weakened her resolve for a moment; knowing he was probably hurting over Sam…Sam, Alexis' daughter…but she wanted to know what the hell was going on with him and Alexis. So she let him have it; asked him what exactly his relationship was with Alexis Davis…pointed out her flaws, why she couldn't let him throw away his life. It worried her how silent he looked; like he was being torn apart from the inside. And then he spoke, in a quick low angry burst.

"It doesn't matter…it's over now" and walked away…and she walked away, because she couldn't handle seeing him in so much pain.

"It doesn't matter…it's over now" He hadn't screamed at her…he couldn't bring himself to yell…he had been angry before, but this wasn't anger…it kind of just felt like his stomach had dropped…he hadn't cared that Carly was mad…he didn't give a second thought to what she thought about Alexis…she didn't know her like her did. She didn't know the woman who would go swimming, even when she was terrified, because it made Kristina smile. Or the woman who wore patches of peas and carrots on her blouse like badges of honor. The woman who would forgive her child the most egregious sin; just because she loved her…the woman whose kissed was seared into his brain…the feel of her skin, the glints of golden in her eyes…she didn't know his Alexis…

Sam's eyes lit up when she heard his name…Alexis wondered if hers did the same…right then it felt like her stomach was in her feet. She smiled sadly and told Sam she would call him…she almost laughed bitterly when Sam asked if she needed his phone number…like she hadn't talked to him every night for two months like a giddy schoolgirl. It was going to be okay…she had her girls, it had to be okay.

He wasn't sure how the lamp got hurled against the wall; or why his fist throbbed as he sat on the stairs to the Penthouse. When he heard the knock on the door he couldn't help but hope to see the face he had come to expect there…but when Richie opened the door there was his sister. He didn't know what to say to Emily…since her and Sonny's relationship had dissolved it didn't seem like she wanted to speak to him. But now here she was at his doorstep. "Can I come in?"

She dialed the number and it went straight to voicemail…his voice, right there…even over the phone it seemed to calm her. She hung up three times before calling back and leaving a vague message…just asking him to come see Sam…she wanted to scream the other stuff; how she changed her mind…she didn't want whatever they had to end…but in the end she shut her phone and went back to her girls.

Emily talked, apologized, cried…asked about Sam. He couldn't help but take his little sister in his arms…all was forgiven…all was forgiven a long time ago. When they separated she talked of Sam and her accident…he couldn't help simply nodding. He was worried about Sam; he still loved her…and then she mentioned Alexis' name and how she saw her lose it outside the OR. He could feel the heat rising through his body…she was in pain…and there was nothing he could do about it…He wanted to go; to go and hold her…when Emily left he lie on the couch and closed his eyes. He thought about their first swimming excursion in the lake. He could tell she was scared…but she wanted to do it for Kristina…he remembered seeing her in the black bathing suit for the first time…she had amazing legs…She first sat on the embankment with Molly dipping her feet and splashing while Jason threw Kristina over and over. When Molly went in for lunch and he grabbed Alexis' hands and led her in the water. She could feel the tremble in her body, but he just pulled her close to him. They had fun that day…it wasn't supposed to be the end.

Sam was sleeping, and Kristina had gone home with Viola. Alexis could feel her lids drooping when Liz walked in and offered a room. She shook her head no, but realized the pretty brunette wasn't taking no for an answer. And once her body hit the cold sheets she was gone. She dreamt a lot about him…about the girls…about Sam…but he kept popping up. She thought about what had become movie night with the girls. It seemed to become a Thursday ritual; a Disney movie and a big bowl of popcorn. He laughed when she told him that the only thing she could make was microwaveable popcorn…until he saw she wasn't exaggerating…So it was take out, movie, and cuddling. The girls usually alternated whose laps they sat on…and though Molly couldn't yet understand the movie she watched it in amazement too…usually Molly fell asleep first, followed by Alexis. Kristina and Jason would finish the movie and he would put the girls down. By the time he came back to the couch he would crawl onto there with her and fall asleep for a couple of hours…she loved lying next to him…his strong arms protecting her from the ills of the world…for now she hugged the pillow to her chest; it had to be enough.

When he clicked open his phone he saw the missed calls….her number; the number he knew by heart…and he called his voicemail. It was her voice that struck a chord in his throat…he had come to be able to read her. She was masking her own feelings…she did it when she was scared; put up a wall…and she was doing it now. Instinctively he darted straight to General Hospital. He ran into Liz, and she informed him that Sam was improving hour…and that she had forced Alexis to get some rest. He looked in the empty room first and saw her lying on the coat…her chestnut locks splayed against the pillow…he walked in slowly and ran his hand over her cheek…he would fight this; no matter what it took.

She acted like she didn't hear him come in. Didn't hear the familiar breathing patterns she had grown accustomed to. She let him stroke her face, and she fought the urge to cry…this was the last time they would touch…the last time his skin would touch hers, and she let herself get lost in it…she had to fight this, not matter what it took.

Sam was released two days later…and she went home with Alexis. She tried to get lost in her daughters, but Kristina asked about Jason…and then Sam asked Alexis to go pick up some medical papers she had left…she had no choice but to go see him.

He was in a bad mood…Carly had come and subsequently sent back out…he didn't want company…he wanted to wallow. And then Richie opened the door and let her in. She put on her professional face, but she wore the lavender sweater…and she still took his breath away…he walked upstairs and got the papers from the safe and walked down. He handed them to her and as she turned to walk he grabbed her arm.

He handed her the papers, and she closed her eyes not wanting those crystal clear blue eyes to be the last thing she saw…and then she felt him grip her arms and the papers fell to the floor…and suddenly she was pressed against his chest, his hands were in her hair, and his lips crashed upon hers…she should have stopped it…but she didn't want to…she got lost in the kiss.

He didn't know what brought him to kiss her like that…but he needed to…he needed to show her what she meant to him. She responded back…she let him kiss her senseless…led him slide the sweater off her body…He worshipped her with his kisses…and he picked her up and took her to his bed.

She knew this was wrong…and yet her hands deceived her and pluck his shirt from his body. Her hands touched every inch of exposed skin…they crashed upon each other. And as he looked in her eyes as they made love she couldn't help but feel alive again.

He looked at her while they became one…bore holes into her eyes…he wanted her to know how he felt…he didn't even know how he felt, but whatever it was; was deep…and he wanted her to know it…

She woke up against his chest…she hated to leave…but she had to. She put back on the jeans and left him a note on his desk. When she came home it was quiet…Sam napping while Viola took the girls to the park. She crawled into her bed and hugged the pillow to herself…it shouldn't hurt so bad to do the right thing.

He woke up confused and when he ran downstairs…he saw the note.

Jason,

I'm sorry…but I have to say goodbye. It's what is right.

Alexis

A/N: Okay so a lot of angst, right? But would it really be right any other way. Hope you enjoyed…I love feedback; so drop me a line! Thanks everyone who is reading, you all rock!