Chapter 11: Irreplaceable treasure
Perhaps the king should not have ordered wine, as Muzét proved to be a particularly bad drunk, and despite Karla and Elize's calls for moderation the spirit was soon making a spectacle of herself. At some point Elize contemplated whether she should get a room and lock her away…or slip a curse charm on Muzét to sabotage her energy. Thankfully, Karla took over and persuaded the spirit to keep her mouth busy with plenty of water and to continue eating.
"It was curious to see the two of you together," commented the king as an aside to Elize while the others were busy ordering more food.
"Well, it was an...unexpected meeting," emphasized Elize. "I ran into her while looking for a former Labari inmate."
"I see. You mustn't push yourself too hard. Your illness…," he faltered.
Elize smiled. "If I can survive a round at the Coliseum, I think I'll make it a little while longer."
"The Coliseum?" he asked sternly.
"Oh," said Elize covering her mouth. Perhaps the wine was getting to her as well. She smiled sheepishly in response. "Muzét's way of getting my mind off things, I suppose. It was only a beginner's entry and she did most of the work."
"I am concerned," he said honestly. "Rowen would also disapprove of such…exertion."
"It was the quickest battle in the history of the beginner's round. That's no small feat," she tried to justify and showed him the shiny medal. He let out an amused "Hmph" and took another sip of wine. "That only means you annihilated them with your artes," he said one part censure and other part praise.
Karla, who had been observing them, was beginning to understand the feelings that lingered between her brother and Elize as they awkwardly interacted, barely touching and yet somehow intimate, as if they shared a deep understanding of one another but resisted the attraction. A wry smile came to her lips as she continued to watch them speak in hushed tones.
Her expression soon turned to shock as Muzét suddenly stood up from the table and started to relay her "knowledge" on how to make a man happy.
"You'll never get anywhere with a man like that," the spirit taunted. "You have to take him by the reins and have your way with him."
"W-What?" asked Elize in a moderate degree of disbelief. Karla tried to persuade Muzét to sit down again but the spirit would not be deterred. The king sat still as a stone and closed his eyes to meditate, his usual practice when it came to Muzét's outbursts, hoping the moment would pass uneventfully even as he felt the gazes of several others from nearby tables.
"For one, you need to wear less clothing," said Muzét playfully.
"Like you, perhaps?" sighed Elize.
"Exactly!" giggled the spirit. "If you go around looking like a boring secretary or stroll around in pink like a schoolgirl men will never be interested…unless they're into that sort of thing."
Into…? thought Elize with a raised brow.
"I believe she's referring to cosplay," ventured Karla. "Or maybe lolicon?"
"You're not helping," said Elize, giving Karla a look of mild distress.
"Sorry."
"Next, you need to do something about that flat chest," nodded Muzét affirmatively.
"It's not like I can change that," she retorted hotly. "Compared to those bazongas you carry around anyone's flat as a board." Elize bit her lip and regretted how Teepo that sounded.
Karla sighed.
"It slipped," Elize apologized.
"You won't be impressing him with small talk either," continued Muzét, completely ignoring them both. "You need to praise and stroke the male ego, among other things."
"Good heavens," sighed Karla, putting her head in her hands, wondering how the conversation had taken a sudden turn toward the lewd.
"Finally, you need to get intimate. Though I'm not sure how humans do it; I think it's like direct tethering for spirits. It's so wonderful to be tethered to another soul, sharing mana, energy and feelings. Of course, an inexperienced woman like yourself wouldn't know that. Just thinking about how commanding and direct Gaius was when we tethered gives me goosebumps," she laughed while blushing and hugging herself. By this time the king's eyes were wide open again. Karla nearly choked on her drink.
King Gaius coughed nervously. "I had no idea at the time…and I haven't done anything of the sort since," he muttered.
"Oh Gaius," said Muzét, dangling her arms over his shoulders. "You really need to loosen up!"
Elize was just an incantation away from blowing up the table but she somehow controlled it. The disproportionate urge to react and the familiar dark, unbalanced feeling in her chest was bubbling to the surface. She was quick to recognize her anger stemmed from jealousy, of all things, and came to a sudden realization that her captors at Labari had often triggered her powers by using her emotions. The more emotional she was, the stronger the power she unleashed. Her anger subsided only to be replaced by a sad, empty feeling.
Elize stood up and declared that she was going to get some air, leaving Muzét to her own devices, come what may.
She exited the inn and wandered onto the streets under the starlight. The outdoors refreshed her. The smell of burning torches and nightfall was on the breeze. Elize wandered aimlessly to the bridge where she had tried to send out her wish earlier. But without the sunlight, the bridge hovered over a dark, seemingly bottomless river. Elize could only stare into it, wondering how many other wishes had been consumed by the darkness and never answered.
-000-
Back at the table, Karla picked up a folded piece of paper from the floor. "What's this?"
"Oh for some reason people in this city throw pieces of paper over the bridge like confetti. I've been observing them all day."
"It's a tradition that dates back to the beginning of the Coliseum. Participants used to fight to the death, and often traveled far from home to fight. So they would write their heart's wish on paper and let the wind carry it to the intended destination in case they didn't make it back. Nowadays, young people write their wishes too, not just Coliseum participants, and wish for things like good grades, or first loves. It's rather romantic," said Karla wistfully.
"The barbarism of the past never ceases to amaze me," said the king quietly. "However, I am glad that the next generation will not remember it and instead found a depressing tradition and turned it into a happy one."
"I agree, Your Majesty," his sister smiled.
"I told Elize she needn't bother since I was going to help her. If she follows any one of my suggestions I'm sure she'd make a breakthrough. Though, I don't know why she made a wish on someone's behalf, all things considering" said Muzét with a pout as she sat back down onto her chair.
"Oh?" asked Karla.
Muzét nodded towards the piece of paper and shrugged. "You'd think a dying girl would wish for something for herself. Instead, she wished for Gaius' happiness. What good would that do for her?"
Erston suddenly stood up and excused himself from the dining hall.
-000-
When he saw Elize on the bridge he approached her slowly, cautiously observing her in silence. She seemed to be thinking on something that made her frown as if she had swallowed something bitter. Muzét triggered an emotional response and he concluded that most likely, he was the cause. He did not want her to think ill of him, and somehow he needed to make it right.
Elize was eventually pulled out of her thoughts by his presence and watched with her soulful eyes as he drew near.
"Are you well?" he asked diplomatically, gauging the tension. Her agitation troubled him because it required more finesse than merely soothing the egos on both sides of an argument. For once he was uncertain as to what he should say.
"I just needed air," Elize dismissed. "I'll return in a moment."
"Muzét…" he began, but then stopped to consider his words. "She has a way of saying the most inappropriate things at the most inconvenient times."
"You don't need to apologize for her. You're not her keeper." Elize was surprised at how snappish that sounded, and to the king, no less. To her chagrin the words could not be taken back.
"I…." He left his sentence hanging and came closer, but said nothing further.
She frowned at her inability to control her discontent and she could tell it was making him uncomfortable. Elize let the stillness seep between them as she tried to think of a way to make things comfortable between them again.
"About that…I had no idea…with spirits…." he tried again, after a long pause.
"Oh," she said, blushing and remembering Muzét's conversation. "That."
"Had I known I would have opted to do things differently and relied on my own strength," he complained grumpily. "I was truly appalled when she explained it to me the first time. It's even more disconcerting that she would say these things out loud in front of others."
A sideways glance at his nettled expression made Elize laugh, and it finally diffused the strain between them. He's doing this for my sake, isn't he? she wondered.
"I guess it couldn't be helped if you needed her power," she relented.
"I'm relieved you've decided not to hold it against me."
"I wasn't-" she started to argue. "I…There's no reason why you should justify any of your actions or seek approval from me. You're King Gaius of Rieze Maxia." She turned away and murmured, "I'm just Elize. Whatever's irking me is my own problem."
"I seek the approval of all my subjects," he countered, in a low, gentle tone. "The more I am with you, the more I feel I need your approval, especially. It is not just your problem."
Elize just blinked at him, wondering if she had heard correctly. She had drawn her line in the sand, and he just crossed over it.
"Muzét told me your wish. It is impossible for her to keep secrets when drunk," he sighed. Elize's cheeks went red and she groaned as she turned her face towards the river, silently wishing it would swallow her up.
He cleared his throat and looked at her directly. "But enough of Muzét. I've been wanting to speak with you. I didn't have a chance after we battled the Arrow Folzam at Culmar Trail. I want to clarify if your wish had anything to do with what happened between us that night in the castle." That image of him leaning over her in the dimly lit hall and her hasty decision to assault him with a kiss immediately popped into mind and she visibly shrank from him.
"I-I wanted to apologize for that," she said nervously. "It was an impulsive first for me."
"If you succumbed to youth's folly and now seek forgiveness, I can accommodate. But something compels me to inquire if you…regret it?" he asked carefully.
Elize already knew her answer before shaking her head, "No. I don't. Forgive me if I made you uncomfortable, but I don't regret it." I would never regret it…
"Then there is nothing to forgive. But your feelings are wasted on someone like me. I am the last person who deserves happiness since I can only take away the happiness of others," he said stoically as he leaned over the darkness.
"My sister's fiance committed suicide after I forced him, and I merely watched as her hopes died in front of me. I am grateful she's never asked me. I abandoned her to pursue my own ideal, killing everyone who opposed me, leaving widows and orphans wherever I went. I vowed I would never do anything I would regret but would regret not doing anything. I only moved forward and I watched my comrades fall to further my goals. Yet there are times I think I could have done things differently and people may have been spared." His eyes were wistful now, as if remembering something fondly in private.
He was speaking of the path he created for himself as Gaius. To Elize Erston and Gaius were different sides of him, separate and yet the same, just as she and Teepo were two separate sides of herself. Gaius and Teepo had both been created from pain, but all that was left now on the bridge was simply Erston and Elize.
"The chaos and barbarism would have swallowed Auj Oule had you not stepped up," Elize reasoned. "If anything my past is a reflection of that terrible time you stopped." She looked up to the vast open sky and the sea of stars that watched over the world without judgment. "There's no sin in Erston finding happiness while Gaius does his duty and atones for any sins of the past by helping the people in the present. I don't see why the two can't coexist."
A cool breeze stirred in the quiet. They were standing so close to one another their shoulders were almost touching, and she could feel the warmth of his presence drawing her in. Elize breathed in that faint, familiar scent that made her heart wish for many other things that it should not desire.
"Happiness…and duty…coexisting…," he repeated.
"I know you take pride in your work and you feel," she paused for the right word, "obligated to overwork yourself. But when we falter, it's life's simple pleasures that bring happiness to fuel our lives, no matter how hard or tedious the road ahead," Elize placed a hand on his arm and gave him a forgiving squeeze. "Our friends taught me that."
His hand covered hers and he sighed, finally overcome by her sincerity that obliterated his last defense.
"Before you wish for the happiness of others do not give up on your own just yet. Perhaps there is also a way for your happiness and mine to…," he paused to give her the most genuine smile she had ever seen on his face, "coexist."
-000-
When Gaius' entourage continued towards the capital his mind traveled back to recall last night's parting. He regretted that he could not go with her. His frustration grew daily that with all his power he could do nothing. He had spent entire nights awake after that exchange in Kanbalar, examining his actions and questioning the unfamiliar feeling of wanting something for himself. His one truth was that the more he thought of her, the more he wanted to see her smile again.
Elize was fragile and strong, a walking contradiction brightly shining as she hid the darkness within. For Elize, experience, not age, defined her wisdom. Admirably, her hard beginnings had enhanced her ability to empathize. Behind her actions of helping others was the soul of a young woman who simply wanted to be loved.
Perhaps it was this idea that drove him to hold her close under the canopy of stars as they stood on the bridge, unwavering even as he felt her stiffen with the sudden embrace.
It was also an impulsive first for him, but he did not regret it.
Just as his thoughts traveled back to her, so too did her thoughts go with him as the distance between them expanded. Elize fingered the delicately embroidered handkerchief that smelled faintly of lavender as she proceeded towards the port that would take her to Marksburg. A shy smile crept across her face as she remembered what he had said when he held her.
"Will you indulge me in another Auj Oule tradition? It had been popular with my tribe that one would exchange an article with someone…cherished." She had hung onto the last word and felt her face turn a deep shade of pink as he placed something in her hand. Elize remembered staring at the embroidered pattern of a princessia flower just as his name escaped in a sigh.
"It reminded me of you, a flower blooming in adversity with the power to heal even the hardest of hearts," he had said with an admitting smile. "You of all people know the meaning of its name, do you not?"
Thinking back on that moment with pleasure he remembered how her resistance fell away to reveal a smile that lit up her entire face when she thanked him. There was an unforgettable expression of happiness as she held it tightly to her chest. He engraved that image into his mind as his carriage continued onward.
His actions told her there was no sin in finding happiness before the end. Elize was grateful he did not ask how long it could be. His feelings protected her from what was to come. She embraced the moment in her memory as it fueled her present journey forward.
Author's note:
The main event that triggered this pairing to begin with was a side quest when Gaius and his new friends from Trigleph agreed to go on a trip to Rieze Maxia (I forget the name of the forest) and he fell asleep mid-sentence because he had been working too hard. I never felt bad for Gaius until then, and just as with Elize, I decided Erston also had a right to be happy. That's when my ship sailed (waves goodbye). Now the only thing to decide is if she lives or…not. j/k
P.s. In the Xillia cannon, princessia in flower language means "Precious treasure" (Eng.) and "long and healthy life"; or "Irreplaceable treasure" (Jap.).
-Kero