A/N: I'm sure you guys have already been able to tell that this story will be from Ed's POV glorifying himself in everything he does. He starts off young, I'm going to develop him more as he ages, I just wondered what it would be like to get into the mind of Edward. He's a very complex character after all.
Dear (I SWEAR it's NOT a) Diary,
Geeze it's been months since I've written in you. I guess you could say a lot happened. Aside from the usual stuff like Havoc breaking up yet again with his on-again off-again girlfriend who turned out to be a cross dresser( Yup totally did not see that coming), and Hawkeye pointing her gun down everyone's throats every five minutes, it's been pretty crazy around here. For one, Fury found a dog and it's somehow staying alive with Hawkeye training it. Poor thing is probably scared to breathe with her around shooting lasers out of her boobs every time he does something. I mean seriously, if ol' Hawkeyes wanted to be the Fuhrer she could. I have not clue why she insists on following around that useless-when-it-rains-drools-on-his-paperwork-cowers-in-my-wrath-meat-for-brains Mustang of all people! Did you know that bastard wrote a song about himself? Conceded narcissist much? It's all about how he snaps his fingers because he's the flame alchemist or some shit like that. He send me on another mission. It ended up to be nothing but suspicion. I'm serious. I was so excited to finally have a new lead on the philosopher's stone and it ended up being some crazy run-down town with two imposters impersonating Al and I! I'm way more bad-ass and totally awesome than they are! The guy who was impersonating Al wasn't even wearing armor. Like if you admire us so much that you try to be us( Which I admit is flattering because who could ever fail to notice how amazing I am?) than at least put SOME effort into it. I mean COME ON! Any way I exposed them and now their back to being whatever their names were before they tried and failed miserably to be me. I'm one of a kind after all. there was this other guy there too...what was his name? Egg yolk? ehhh It doesn't matter. I had this really stupid mustache that looked like Hitler grew his out and put a crimper to it! You should've seen the look on his face when I gave him fake gold! Ahahahahaha! Well I got to go and terrorize Mustang some more while the world sings my praises. Honestly, what would this world do without the most perfect, amazing, incredible, being on the planet? No in the Universe! yeah that's it. It'd probably fall apart without my amazing gravitational pull of awesomeness. Shit I rambled on again. Bye, Diary!
...I mean...Journal.
-Edward Elric