I own nothing. I got the chair idea from The Office episode The Surplus.
Lesson 8: Don't pick up the phone. Turn your phone off and let them leave a message.
She's gotten a lot of messages since she left for her vacation. Most of them were simple messages about her well being and where she planned to go next. Others were about misplaced objects around the base. Like she would know where they were. Very few were about work. She made Coulson promise that he wouldn't call her unless it was an absolute emergency. He obviously didn't understand the concept of what an emergency actual meant.
"Hey May, I saw the funniest thing today."
"Coulson, is this an emergency?"
"Not really but its really funny. You'll get a kick out of it."
"I'm sure I would but I'm on vacation. Write it down and tell me about it when I get back."
"Fine. It won't be as funny when I tell you about it when you return."
Now that she thought about it, neither did Skye.
"May, we're thinking about getting new chairs for the base. Some of us want functional over comfort. I'm leaning towards comfortable. What do you think?"
"I'm thinking about shutting off my phone for good. This does not qualify as an emergency."
"Okay, I see your point but you're the tie breaker so technically this is an emergency. Just not a life or death one."
Instead of answering, she hung up the phone and snapped it in half. Not the best idea but considering that these calls were getting in her way of relaxing, it was the only thing that seemed reasonable. If she's needed they'll find a way to contact her.
Its been a week since she destroyed her phone and its been very peaceful. She was in such a good mood that she considered buying a new phone and calling in to see if they reached a decision on the chairs. She was leaning towards…
"Excuse me, are you May?" asked a woman who just appeared in front of her table.
"Why?"
"I just got a text from an unknown number. Here look." said the woman holding out her phone.
Sorry to do this but I need you to get the attention of the woman next to you. She responds to May.
"Is this some sort of prank. I only thought things like this happen in the movies." said the woman
"No this is real. Just give me a moment."
Who is this?
Wow it worked. Who do you think?
This better be important.
Do you know how hard it is to find you?
Just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean I don't know how to properly hide if need be. Now what is it, I don't want to keep using this woman's phone.
This discussion doesn't really work over texting. We already have a phone lined up for you. Just go to Shaw Street which is about 2 blocks west of where you are. We'll know when you'll get there.
Fine.
"Sorry about that." she said while handing the woman her phone back but not before deleting the texts.
"Well who was it?"
"My job. Again I am so sorry about that."
She left after that and headed west towards Shaw Street. Once she gets there, she sees nothing. Not even people. Well if they wanted to get her alone, they succeeded. She walked up Shaw Street and stopped when she saw a telephone booth. Seriously, they couldn't even spring for a cell phone.
"They better be calling me, I'm all out of quarters."
She waits for ten minutes (so much for knowing when she would get there) before a man showed up.
"Are you done?" he said pointing to the phone
"I'm waiting for a call but I've been here for a while and they haven't called so just go ahead."
"Thanks."
He used the phone for at least twenty minutes. She was pretty sure whatever the call was about was illegal but she's on vacation. Maybe she'll call in an anonymous tip.
Its been thirty minutes before the phone finally rings and it does so twice before she answers it.
"You had me waiting here for thirty minutes." she said.
"Sorry, we had some technical difficulties. How are you?" asked Coulson
"Great actually. I was going to call you back later this week to find out if you made a decision on the chairs."
"You're still the tie breaker and this is after we presented both sides of the argument. I can't believe no one changed their minds after my laser show." said Skye
"Am I on speaker?"
"Yes you are Agent May. Now can we please get back to the reason for this call." said Agent Weaver.
"Of course, whenever you're ready."
The council wanted to take a vote on whether they should open up a few small bases around the world. Was she really needed for this? Honestly this is the most useless meeting ever.
"Do you agree, Agent May?" asked Weaver
Before she could answer, someone knocked on the telephone booth door. She looked up and saw that it was that man who was here earlier.
"Are you almost finished?" he asked
"Does it look like I'm finished? Just give me a couple more minutes."
"Um May? Is everything alright?" asked Bobbi
"Some guy wants to use the phone for some illicit activity."
"Are you sure you should say that out loud? Can't he can hear you?"
"Considering he's holding a gun in my face, yes he can. I'm going to have to put you guys on hold for a second."
All they hear is a man yelling at May to get out of the booth then its dead silent. Soon after they hear a couple of grunts from the man before a gunshot went off.
"May? May! Are you okay?" asked Coulson
They heard a couple more grunts from the man before its suddenly quiet.
"I'm fine. Now about those chairs."
Thanks for reading. Next up: May meets Paul (Mama May's "Friend"), a continuation of Lesson 5. So was May leaning towards comfortable or functional chairs.