For a few days, Jade spent her time in the library, studying and doing homework even when there wasn't an exam for days. She just needed to be alone. Her father would disapprove but even normal people had to pull away from the world once in a while to keep their sanity.
"Gluing the book to your face again Lovegood?" Parkinson asked.
Jade looked up from her books to see Parkinson with the butch-like Millicent Bulstrode and a thin sickly looking girl.
"Gluing like there's no tomorrow." Jade said, to lighten up Parkinson's mood.
Apparently Parkinson didn't like it when the people she kicked, kicked themselves.
"Fuck you." Parkinson said. Hopefully Jade would never have to see Parkinson again after graduating Hogwarts.
"I'm sorry?" Jade apologized, getting Parkinson even angrier.
"Can't even fight back." Millicent said as she and the other girl laughed.
"Leave her alone!" a deep voice said.
They all turned around to see Colin Creevey standing nearby. He was towering at 6 feet and a few inches and wasn't the awkward and overzealous boy he was known for in his younger years.
"Holy crap Creevey, is that you?" Parkinson asked as her girls gawked at him.
"Didn't notice me did you? I want you all to leave Jade alone or the next time you see me, it won't be pretty." He said.
"I doubt that." Millicent said, giving Colin a onceover.
Jade cringed and so did Colin.
"What is she? Your girlfriend or something?" Parkinson sneered.
"So I heard a rumor about you this summer, may I share?" Colin asked.
Parkinson looked lethally furious and leaned over like she wanted to spit on him.
"I can report you to my boyfriend." Parkinson hissed.
"Right…the boyfriend who happens to run away from you at every given chance. Report away!" Colin said throwing his arms out. Parkinson turned around and stalked away with Millicent and the other girl. Colin turned around to Jade who looked slightly at a loss for words. "You know you could have been a little meaner." Colin said, sitting in front of her.
"I don't want to cause problems. I usually avoid them by not caring what she says." Jade said.
"I think that's why you get picked on more than anyone else in the school. You trying to be Gandhi on Pansy Parkinson won't help but set her off even more." Colin said, taking Jade's quill.
'Gandhi must be turning in his grave.' Jade thought.
"I handle my problems a little more differently than other people." Jade said, seeing him smile.
"You're too nice." Colin said. Jade was silent and watched him take her books, reading through them. "You're smart too. I like smart and sweet women." He said, looking back at her.
"What do you want me to do?" Jade asked.
"I want to take you out sometime. Is that too forward?" Colin asked, not bothered by her being on point.
Jade paused, wanting to say no. This was going to be another relationship disaster, she could tell. It was going to result in a tear filled 'you're a heartless bitch, nothing means anything to you' kind of tirade while Jade watched, not responding or even providing convincing emotions.
"I don't think it's a wise thing to do." Jade said, starting to pack up. Colin was thrown off, not expecting her to prepare to leave.
"Wait! I didn't offend you did I?" Colin asked.
"I'm not offended." Jade said.
"Then what's the problem?" Colin asked, holding her arm down gently. Jade looked at him, thinking of many reasons to tell him.
"You're younger than me." Jade said.
"But I'm taller." Colin said quickly.
"I'm not interested."
"Why not?" Colin asked.
"I need to study on my N.E. ." Jade said.
"I can help you study." Colin said.
"I don't believe in pre-marital sex." Jade said.
"Then I'll marry you." Colin said.
There was nothing wrong with persistency but when it was abused like this, it felt…aggravating.
"Let me at least think about it." Jade said.
"You'll probably avoid me to death, which would make it harder for me to pursue you, so I would need your answer right here, right now. And before you say no, I would like to tell you that, that is no is not an option. I would really like to date you…even if it's just once. Just give me one little chance and if it's still a no, I'll happily walk away and promise to never bother you again." Colin said.
Jade rubbed her face, wishing there was an easier way of keeping people away from her.
"Hi Jade." Wallace, one of their neighbor's son said, walking over to Jade who had been polishing trophies, plaques and silver around the house.
"Hello Wallace." Jade said, going back to polishing.
"What are you doing on Saturday?" Wallace asked shyly. He was still an awkward boy at sixteen but sweet and courteous to her and the rest of her family unlike that brute Noah.
"Read a book probably." Jade said, setting Luna's poetry plaque aside.
Wallace nodded, looking like he was having a hard time trying to say what he wanted. Jade supposed he was going to tell her that someone died in his family.
"I have two tickets to see the Weird Sisters live in Hogsmeade." He said. Jade scoffed, going back to polishing.
"I hope you burn them." Jade said. Wallace gaped at her.
"I…forget it." He said, walking away.
Jade watched him leave and shrugged, going back to her work. The door behind her opened and Xenophilius looked out, clearly unhappy with her.
"What's wrong with you Jade?" he asked.
"What? Did I not polish correctly?" Jade asked.
"The boy wanted to take you to the concert…on a date." Xenophilius said.
"Then why couldn't he just ask me?" Jade asked.
"Would you have said yes?" he asked.
"Absolutely not." Jade said.
"Why not?" Xenophilius asked.
"I just don't like them, that's all." Jade said.
"I agree that the Weird Sisters make strange music but-"
"I didn't mean the Weird Sisters." Jade said.
Xenophilius opened his mouth to say something but his thoughts got the better of him.
"Do you like…girls?" he asked.
"No! Why would I do that?" Jade asked.
"Then why don't you like boys? What's wrong?" he asked. Jade reddened and shrugged.
"I just don't, I'm not interested." Jade said. Xenophilius placed a hand on hers, giving her a grim look.
"It's one of the many masks to wear just to fit in with everyone else. You can't be alone for the rest of your life otherwise it would just make you look suspicious. People would think something is wrong with you." he explained.
"Fine." Jade said finally.
Colin gave a mini fist pump and for a terrifying second Jade thought he would hug her but he didn't.
"I won't let you down." He said.
"I really hope you do." Jade said, walking away.
There wasn't anything that Jade could do ever since giving Colin the green light for a date. She continued on with her classes and by the end of September and the beginning of October, exams and quizzes had made themselves well on their way. On the first weekend of October, everyone gathered in the Great Hall. They were dressed for the chilly weather and ready to go to Hogsmeade. Some were more excited than others.
Jade sat still at her table, her finger tracing around the mouth of her glass. She saw Colin glance up to her every now and then, giving her a wave. Jade could only nod back; never interested in faking that she was looking forward to this date. She was absolutely dreading it. They all had to get up eventually and squeeze themselves into a carriage. The worst part of it was that Colin had invited himself into Jade's carriage who had been sitting with Ginny, Luna and Hermione. The mirth that her friends and sister suppressed as Colin spoke away made Jade's skin prickle.
"We'll see you girls when we get back!" Colin said.
"Have fun the two of you!" Ginny said, pulling Hermione and Luna away. Colin waved them off as Jade stood there, watching him.
"Are we going to stand here all day?" Jade asked.
Colin turned around and lightly knocked Jade's shoulder.
"I can see that you can't wait to get our date started." He said.
"I can barely contain myself." Jade said dryly.
Colin didn't seem to pick up on her sense of humor and started leading the way. They entered a small and unknown pub where a group of Hogwarts students settled themselves in. If Jade's life couldn't get any worse, it was going to take a deeper plunge.
On stage was a wizard, singing to one of Celestina Warbeck's songs.
"Wizard's Karaoke! How about it?" Colin asked excitedly.
"I don't like listening to people sing." Jade told him.
"Then you can sing for them." Colin said.
"I don't sing." Jade said.
They sat down at a table and ordered Butterbeers. Even normal people must have cringed when there was someone obnoxiously singing to their favorite song while their voice could knock out any mandrake. After four more excruciating minutes, Colin got up and walked over to the stage. He whispered something to the witch sitting in the corner with the piano. If Colin was going to ask her up, she was definitely leaving this date behind and find something better to do.
"Hello everyone, my name is Colin. I'm actually here with my lovely date. She's sitting right there, the table next to the man in the red shirt." Colin pointed out.
Everyone turned towards Jade. So this is what embarrassment felt like. Jade forced another smile on, seeing everyone lightly clap.
"Hey….J-J-Jaded." Colin sang.
Everyone burst out into laughter and Jade looked around, unfamiliar to the song but it was enough to sink her further in her seat.
'You got your mama's style
But you're yesterday's child to me
So Jaded
You think that's where it's at
But is that where it's supposed to be
You're gettin' it all over me
Exer-ated!'
People from Hogwarts were here, witnessing this monumental fail. What were they making out of it? Jade could only tell when they would get back.
My my baby blue
Yeah I been thinkin' 'bout you
My my baby blue
Yeah i'm so Jaded
And baby, i'm afraid of you
"That was the first time I've ever sang in front of so many people." Colin said as they walked side by side outside.
"That's nice. You have a nice voice anyways." Jade said.
"Really?" Colin asked brightly, seeing Jade nod.
"And thank you for not forcing me to sing." Jade added.
"I didn't want you to hate me and never see my face again. It's been a long time since I've opened up to someone like this. The way I sang on that stage for the first time, I just felt like another person you know? It's like you saw a side of me today that you would probably never see." Colin said.
Jade froze, looking at Colin. He was absolutely right and the way he was telling her about how exciting it felt to show another person a side of him that no one would regularly see, seared into her mind.
"Tell me more." Jade said. Colin bit his lip, thinking deeply.
"The opening up thing?" he asked, seeing her nod. "It's frightening at first but when people start to accept you by getting used to you…then that's it." He shrugged.
"Whatever you are, you can't let anyone know. There is something growing inside of you that you need to control. If anyone else finds out then it's all over. The years that I've put in, trying to hold those impulses down will be put to waste. Think of your sister, your friends. How would they feel when they saw you being sent to a Dementor? Accept who you are Jade…this is who you are." Xenophilius told her.
Colin moved his face close to Jade and kissed her softly. He wrapped his arms around her and they kissed for a while in front of the public. Sadly, kissing someone as well left Jade feeling the same as she had always felt; emotionally vacant. She kissed him back and he took it as a signal to take it to the next level.
"Hey kids! Don't do that here!" Madame Rosmerta said from her pub. Jade pulled away and Colin giggled.
For the next few days, Jade spent her time in the library with Hermione, studying in general. What Jade could understand from teenage love was that it was obsessive and Colin exhibited exactly the way she had expected. He would follow her into the library and stay there for hours, talking, trying to initiate a snog and would eventually get kicked out when Madame Pince spotted them. Colin wasn't a bad kid at heart but he was just another stress in Jade's life.
"You know, it's been a month and I already feel connected to you. Like you're my soul mate or something." Colin said, brushing Jade's hair off of her shoulder.
"You don't know how much that means to me." Jade said non-committal as she read over her essay that was going to be due tomorrow.
"Put your books down for once." Colin said, setting her essay aside. He kissed up her neck, trying to ease her into the mood. Jade rolled her eyes and felt Colin slipping her robe off. "Do you want to do it here or somewhere else?" he asked. Jade furrowed her eyebrows.
"I thought you didn't support pre-marital sex." Jade said. Colin nodded.
"But you make me feel so…alive. I think you're the one." Colin said.
Jade gave him a blank stare and he sat in front of her, putting himself into further believing that they had a 'connection'.
"I'm not sure this is what you want. Perhaps you're mistaken." Jade said, seeing Colin shake his head.
"I'm sure this is what I want and I know you want this too." He said softly.
"Colin-"
"Ssh." Colin hushed, placing a finger over her lips. "Don't say a word." He whispered. He got up and closed the door to the room that they were currently in so no one would be able to walk in on them.
It was just like rest of them…empty. Jade couldn't help it, no one could. Colin panted and looked over to Jade who yawned.
"I think I have to go back to my common room. It's getting late." She said. She got up and started to dress, leaving Colin dumbfounded.
"What do you mean you're going to the common room? Don't you want to stay here with me?" Colin asked.
"As much as I'd like to I can't. If I leave after curfew I might get into trouble." Jade said, zipping up her pants.
"But we were each other's firsts." Colin said, seeing Jade look up.
The poor boy was mistaken, but what could she do when she couldn't feel regret?
"Okay? So?" Jade asked. She stuffed her feet into her shoes and Colin got up, still confused.
"Our first time didn't mean anything to you? It was supposed to be magical and loving…caring! We're supposed to be in bed and wake up next to each other in the morning and you want to go back to your common room?" Colin asked incredulously.
Jade paused, wondering what would be an appropriate thing to say to something as upset as Colin. "I'm…sorry?" Jade asked.
The shock doubled in his face.
"Is that what you have to say to everything? Parkinson makes a jab at you and you say sorry. I try to make something of our moment and you say sorry? Do you understand how important this is to us?" Colin asked.
"It's just sex." Jade said with a shrug. Colin gasped sharply.
"Just sex?!" he squawked.
"I don't understand why this is such a big deal for you. Usually men aren't this…psychotic about sex." Jade said, giving him a onceover.
"You don't know men! You don't even know me. You have no idea about anyone actually. You're just a cold hearted and selfless…" he trailed off, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. Jade started to feel uncomfortable. It always led to moments like these, when some started to break down and cry in front of her. If she were to say sorry one more time, it would have set him off even more.
"I think I should go. Feel better." Jade said, taking her things and walking out. Colin ran after her, screaming.
"You know what?! This relationship is over! You're nothing to me just the way I was nothing to you!" he yelled after her. She turned around at the stairs as other people stared at their fiasco.
"Er…okay." She said. Jade turned around and started to walk out of the Gryffindor common room but Colin still tailed along, unwilling to believe that she would take things so lightly.
"Do you not understand fucking basic English?" Colin asked when they were in the corridor.
"I do…I just don't think you understand what you're saying." Jade said behind her. She saw Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson at the end of the hallway turning around to see Jade trying to walk away from Colin who only had on a pair of boxers.
"Hey! Creevey! Put some fucking clothes on!" Draco said.
"You don't understand me. What I'm trying to tell you is that this is over! Don't come back to me tomorrow and think everything is all right again. We're done!" Colin said.
"You told me that a million times." Jade said.
"What the fuck did Creepy Lovegood do this time?" Parkinson asked, crossing her arms.
"Stay in line Pansy." Draco said to her. He turned around to Jade and held an arm out in front of her so she wouldn't leave. "What's going on?" Draco asked.
"None of your goddamn business Malfoy." Colin said.
"Actually I was on my way back to my common room. May I?" Jade asked politely to Draco who gave her a long stare.
"You're not winning over anyone with your manners. People were right, you and your sister are insane and that loopy father of yours." Colin spat.
Jade wheeled around, giving Colin a dark look. If Parkinson or Draco weren't there, Jade would have let the nagging and crippling desire to kill unleash over him.
"I don't want to hear it. Stop the name calling and go back to your Houses." Draco said.
"Creepy Lovegood is right." Colin snarled, leaving. Parkinson looked amused; standing there as Jade started getting ready to leave again.
"Sorry for the inconvenience." Jade said. Parkinson sneered at Jade who left, not wanting to stay for a second with the two Slytherins.