Thanks to everyone for all the feedback I've been getting. Your reviews are the motivation I need to continue writing more chapters. Again thank you. That being said I just wanted to note that Toji makes an appearance in this chapter. I read somewhere that he has some kind of Japanese accent. I don't know how to interpret that into writing so instead I wrote him as if he spoke like the English soccer hooligan from the movie Eurotrip. Well enjoy!

In the Mind of A Child Chapter 4

Forsaken

Maybe I just wanna fly. Wanna live but don't wanna die. Maybe I just wanna breathe, maybe I just don't believe. Maybe you're the same as me. We'll see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna live forever.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

"Is Asuka so unsure of her ability to seduce Shinji that she needs you to follow me around?" Rei said as she glanced at Lavi who had been watching her the entire time she had been in line.

"If you don't like it you could always leave" Lavi retorted unconsciously tapping her foot on the grass.

Before Rei could respond a blond haired boy about her age walked up and greeted Lavi.

"Hey Sleepy Head, you finally woke up huh?" Lavi exclaimed with a warm smile on her face.

He had the most amazing eyes Rei had ever seen. They were the color of the sky on a clear day, a brilliant cerulean blue. There was a clarity in his gaze that she had never seen before. She could only imagine what he would have looked like in the daytime.

"Sorry, I overslept again" The boy said apologetically. "I've been looking all over for you Lavi, where have you been?"

"I…I've been busy." She said eyeing Rei.

"Oh I see, well are you ready? We're missing the game."

"Sure! Let's go." Lavi said as she took the boys arm and began to walk away.

Lavi had obviously forgotten about her and Rei could have easily slipped away unnoticed but she couldn't resist. "You kids have fun"

The red head stopped instantly, remembering her assigned duty.

"What's wrong Lavi?" The boy turned around and looked at Rei. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Uh…I…" Lavi stuttered unsure of what to do next.

"Hi, I'm Rei Ayanami" She introduced herself in hopes of annoying the red head.

He responded with a kind smile. "Nice to meet you, my name is Clou…" He was interrupted as Lavi dragged him away by his arm.

"Just stay away from Asuka and Shinji!" Lavi exclaimed as she pulled Sleepy Head away.

I wonder what I'll do without my watchdog following me around, Rei thought to herself.

"Hey whaddaya want?" A boy behind the counter of the concession stand yelled out. The line had dissipated since the start of the game and Rei was the only one still there.

"Yeah!"

Shinji watched as Asuka and the rest of the people in the stands jumped from the stands and screamed as the batter knocked one out of the park.

"Are you having a good time Shinji?" Asuka asked returning to her seat.

"Oh, uh yeah sure" Shinji responded without looking away from the game. "Where is Ayanami?"

"I don't know, she probably left already. You don't like being here with me?" Asuka replied tugging on Shinji's sleeve.

"It…it's not that, I was just wondering where she was"

"Don't worry about her Shinji, Asuka is much better looking" Kaname explained from her seat behind Shinji. "Isn't that right Shinobu?"

"Whatever you say Kaname" Shinobu replied with a shy grin. "Oh look Asuka here comes Toji!"

"Oy! Asuka did you see dat? I hit a car with me ball." Toji said through the fence as he dusted off his cleats.

"Yeah it was awesome! Wasn't it great Shinji?" She said giving him a hug.

The baseball player gave him an absolutely murderous look. No one but Shinji seemed to notice. "Yeah, great job Toji." Shinji said testing the waters.

Toji grunted in response and walked back to his dugout.

"Asuka you're so lucky, look how the guys flock to you!" Sakura said retying the blue cloth she used to keep her hair up.

"Number thirteen Sousuke Sagara" A voice on the loudspeaker announced as a deathly serious looking boy walked away from the dugout and approached the batters box.

"Go Sousuke!" Kaname screamed at the top of her lungs as she waved her arms and jumped from her seat.

The boy responded with a little salute.

"A...Asuka, I'm gonna go use the restroom. I'll be right back." Shinji said as he got up from the metal stand.

"Oh, okay, I'll miss you!" Asuka replied with a wink.

After waiting until Shinji was safely out of earshot Asuka turned to Sakura. "Follow him"

"Will do." She replied and was gone before Asuka had returned her gaze back to the game.

Shinji walked out of the bathroom still drying his hands and was promptly greeted by a baseball bat toting Toji.

"Oy! Who said you could sit next to me girl?"

"Y…your girl?" Shinji replied as he looked around for any possible exit.

"Yeah, me girl, I saw you two sittin together. So if ya don't mind, enlighten me. Who da hell are ya!" The boy screamed as he slammed his bat on the ground.

"Stop right there!" A female voice exclaimed.

"Where da hell did dat come from?" Toji asked bewildered.

Suddenly, out of no where Sakura dropped in front of Shinji.

"I am protecting this boy in the name of Asuka Langley Sohryu!" Sakura exclaimed dramatically as she took her fighting stance.

"Were you hidin in da trees? What da hell were you doin in da trees?" Toji asked even more confused than before. "Look Saukra, just get out of me way, I don't hit girls"

"YA!" Was Sakura's only reply as she placed a foot firmly in Toji's groin. "Run Shinji!" She said taking his hand and escaping toward their seats.

Not a smart move, Rei thought to herself. She was sitting under a small tree with her notebook prepared to write down Shinji's reaction to the situation. She had hoped to see for herself weather or not his personality switched when he was under threat of physical violence. She may have saved Shinji today but she's only created a worse situation for him later.

Rei walked to the slumped over Toji and intentionally asked the obvious question. "Are you alright?"

With his hands still covering his injured manhood Toji rolled onto his side to face Rei. A look of pain etched on his face. "No I'm not alright. I just had me boys crunched!"

"You must be pretty angry." Rei said as she knelt down and swiped away some of the debris that had collected on Toji's forehead from his from his face first fall.

"You're damn right I'm angry, I'm gonna kill dat kid!" Toji exclaimed trying to force his voice out of the squeaky pitch it had taken after his injury.

"I assume you mean Shinji."

"Yeah him, I'm gonna kill em!" Toji replied his reddened face still wrought with a pained expression.

"I wouldn't touch him unless you want everyone to know you were defeated by a girl. No one saw you fall, but I can certainly bring everyone's attention this way if you like" Rei said as she cupped her hands over her mouth as if in preparation to yell.

"No!" Toji peeped.

"Then leave him alone" Rei said as she stood up and walked away leaving him on the ground in the fetal position.

She walked toward the stands where the students were seated and began the hunt for Shinji. She didn't have to search long however as Asuka wearing a bright red windbreaker ran past her with a horrified Shinji in toe.

"Ayanami!" Shinji yelled as he past her.

"Well that was strange" Rei said aloud as she turned and watched as Shinji tripped over his feet brining Asuka down with him.

"Idiot get up!" Asuka yelled as she brought Shinji to his feet and continued running until they were obscured from view.

Shinji tripped two more times before Asuka stopped running. They were both out of breath and panting like dogs. Asuka lied on her back in the soft grass and spread her arms and legs out. Still breathing heavily she looked at Shinji with a mischievous smile. "That was some fun huh?"

"Fun? That wasn't fun that was ridiculous. That guy was going to kill me. Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" Shinji said obviously perturbed.

"I…I don't have a boyfriend. Toji thinks that we are together but I swear I'm not with anyone Shinji." Asuka explained as she brought herself up on her knees. "That is unless you were planning on asking me out soon." Asuka grinned expectantly.

Ignoring her question Shinji asked "Where is Ayanami?"

"What is it with you and her? Am I so repulsive that you can't spend five minutes with me without brining up that freak?" Asuka retorted angrily. Her face softened and her voice became almost whimpering as she said, "Shinji if you hate me so much I'll just leave you alone."

"I…I don't hate you. I just don't like being around a lot of people." Shinji said as he sat down in the grass and brought his knees up to his chest. "I talk to Rei because she's always alone and I'm more comfortable around her."

"So you're on a first name basis with her as well. How far have you two gotten?" Asuka asked spitefully.

Shinji responded with an angered look.

"I…I'm sorry Shinji. I'm just jealous I suppose."

"There's nothing to be jealous of. Rei doesn't really like me, she only tolerates me. I'm like some kind of science project to her." Shinji explained as he softly rocked himself back and forth. "Why do you even care Asuka, you can have any guy you want."

She watched as a red and black ladybug crawled onto her finger. As she brought her hand to her face to inspect the insect it flew from her finger to the tip of her nose causing her to let out a slight squeal. She swiped the bug away rather violently and saw that Shinji was smiling at her. "I care because no one here knows the real me. I'm tired of lying. I figured if we got to know each other then maybe you would actually see who I really am and not who my reputation makes me out to be."

"Who are you lying to?" Shinji asked.

"Everyone, my friends, the guys I talk to, the teachers, everyone." Asuka answered as she diverted her eyes from his.

"What is it you're lying about?" Shinji asked as he looked up at the starless night sky.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just tired of it." Asuka said as she rolled on her side and faced away from Shinji.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I suppose." Asuka answered with her back still towards him.

"Why is it that you and Rei hate each other so much?"

"You just can't stop talking about her can you!" Asuka exclaimed as she got up and threw Shinji's jacket to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He said as he started rocking himself again.

"Whatever I'm out of here." She began as she started walking away. She had only gotten a short distance when she turned and saw that Shinji was still in the same place with his head down. "You're not even going to try and chase me are you? I get the point Shinji, I won't bother you anymore." Asuka said as she hurriedly blinked away the small tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Do…don't leave me." Shinji whispered only barely audible enough for Asuka to hear. "I don't wanna be alone."

Asuka sat down beside him and put his jacket back on. "Your jacket smells nice." She said in a failed attempt to get him to smile. "Hey, its okay I'm not mad anymore." She placed a hand on his shoulder but retracted it quickly as he jerked his body. "What's wrong Shinji?"

"I…I'm messed up Asuka. I'm messed up bad." Shinji explained without looking up.

"What do you mean messed up?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'm not even sure what the problem is. But something is definitely wrong with me."

"Shinji lets make a deal. How about we start fresh? Let's not worry about what's happened in the past and not worry about what people say about us behind our backs. Let's only believe what we see in each other from this point on. Maybe some day we can tell each other what our problems are, but for right now let's just start out by being friends. I promise I won't lie to you like I do everyone else. I'll show you the real me."

"How can I be your friend when I can't be completely sure who I am? Asuka, you don't want to be close to me, you'll only get hurt. I don't wanna cause you any pain.

"Idiot, we are gonna be friends whether you like it or not!" Asuka said as she shoved him "I don't care what psychoanalytical excuses you come up with."

He got up and pushed her back playfully. She was off balance and tipped over but as she fell she grabbed his arms and he fell on top of her.

"Pervert! Get off me!" She said with a smile as she teasingly tried to free herself. "Help! He's having impure thoughts I can see it in his eyes!"

"If you want me to get off of you then how about letting go of my arms." Shinji said with a grin.

She looked into his eyes, the playful expression gone from her face. "Shinji please, let's be friends. We can start fresh. Don't tell me no, I could use a real friend."

"Start fresh? I…I think that's a good idea." Shinji said offering his hand. "I'm Shinji Ikari, nice to meet you."

"I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu, the pleasure is all mine." She said with a toothy grin.

As she did every morning Rei woke up and lay in bed refusing to leave the comfort of her blanket and pillows. She usually used this time to daydream. However today her mind was on what had happened the night before. She was worried for Shinji. Worried that the arrangement she had worked out with Toji might not last the day. She had bought him time, she hadn't figured out a solution for his problem. It would have been better to let Toji fight him at the game, at least then it would be over and done with. Unless she could figure something out Shinji would be in deep trouble. Toji had the entire night to sit and stew about his humiliation so now he would be out for blood. Rei couldn't figure out how she was going to help him, she couldn't even get herself out of a similar situation with Asuka. Why do things always have to come to violence? It doesn't take a genius intellect to understand that trivial things like this aren't worth the trouble.

Rei wasn't a pacifist. She understood that the ultimate power in the world was violence, the power to force people to do what you want. She just couldn't comprehend why people her age felt it so necessary to omit all the preliminaries and just skip right to fighting. It didn't make sense.

Unable to think of anything other than Shinji's problem she forced herself out of bed and began to get dressed for school. She put her socks on first and then walked to her closet to pick out what she was going to wear. After standing there for a while she was still unsure of what to put on. It had never taken her this long to get dressed before. She was starting to get chilly, wearing only socks and underwear. Am I actually trying to impress him? The more she thought about it, the more she didn't mind. She was in high school after all. It wouldn't kill her to act like a regular girl every now and again. After more deliberation she finally settled on a burgundy sweater with a white button up shirt underneath. Rei walked over to her mirror and fixed the collar so that it protruded slightly from the neck of the sweater. After slipping on a grey skirt she took her contacts out and put on her thin framed black eyeglasses. I look rather collegiate, she thought to herself with a smile.

Rei had been waiting for Shinji outside her apartment building for at least twenty minutes before she gave up and walked hurriedly toward her school. I wonder if he forgot. She had made plans with Shinji earlier yesterday to walk to school together but he had stood her up and she was now going to be late if she didn't rush. As she reached the final block before her school she saw Shinji and almost yelled out to him before she saw who he was with.

She hadn't expected it to hurt this much, seeing him with her. That was the plan after all, to get Shinji together with Asuka so she would leave Rei alone. Mission accomplished apparently. Why then do I feel like this? I'm actually shaking.

She stood there on the sidewalk a long while and just watched them walk shoulder to shoulder. I took his feelings for granted. Now that he isn't following me around anymore, I'm jealous and I miss the attention. Nothing more.

Rei was late for school that day.

End Chapter 4