Chapter 7: Hold your breath and count to ten

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she just gave up?

Everything would be so much easier if she stopped struggling and went with the tides, letting the ocean take her. She would drift through the sea like a ghost, die trying to take back what she had lost when she was doomed to fail. She would ever get him back.

Not in this lifetime.

She had always spent long spaces of time underwater, and her lungs were used to the lack of air... so she would have to pay with a slow death.

She counted the things she was going to miss when she died. She counted the things she had always put aside, thinking she had plenty of time to do, but now never could. She counted the years she was blessed with, and the ones that she was losing,

Only one thing made her open her eyes and want to survive.

Belle's child... She would never meet him.

If fate had brought her here to drown, then it was going to be changed. She wasn't just words on a page, ready to be manipulated at the will of strangers, gods or not... They were still strangers to her. She controlled her own life, and was going to love again.

Surprisingly the knife was still between her teeth, and though it was going to hard to escape death when she was so close, it wasn't impossible. It had been done before, if she could believe those damned fishermen... At least they had the grace to give her "chance", though it was small. She wasn't angry at the sailors, she pitied them. They were human, and they were afraid, and what do humans do when they're afraid? They try to get rid of the danger.

But they had given her a chance, and by doing that they had saved her life. A chance was more than Philip had.

A ray of sunlight shone through the water, making it sparkle and glitter above her.

She forgave them.

The ropes were thick and swollen... In any other circumstance she would probably give up after failing to cut even the first layer. But these ropes had been rotting for years on-board that smelly ship, so she for once got lucky.

When Emma broke the surface of the choppy water, she was gasping and coughing for air. Weakly she tried to stay above while the tumbling waves tried to force her down again. She needed to get to dry land before her body decided to give up.

While underwater she had somehow drifted closer to the island, where they were going to stop by... before she was thrown off.

There was the familiar smell of fish in the air, but also the scent of freshly baked bread had drifted over the expanse of water. Several fishing boats were anchored around her, and seagulls screeched and flapped around searching for scraps in the distance,

Emma still clutched the fish scaling knife in her hand. It was a poor weapon, but it was a weapon nonetheless. She bit into the handle and began the hard swim for land.

She found herself counting her breathing as she swam.

In. Out. In. Out.

One. two. Three. Four...

She was going to make it... she was going to make it...she was going to make it...

Hours or days past by.

Or was it just minutes?

Finally her feet touched soft sand and shells. She almost collapsed and let the tide wash onto the shore. Instead she gritted her teeth and walked the rest of the way.

"Emma..." The Queen stood outside her daughters door the same morning Emma left. It was early, before anyone else except the servants were up. She held a tray balanced in her hand, her hand poised to knock. There were more grey streaks in her hair than usual. "Emma, I've brought you breakfast... I know you don't want to eat, but please just try... Do that for me, and you don't have to come out today. You can stay in bed."

There was silence.

The Queen sighed. The teacups clinked as she carefully placed the tray down.

Snow sat down too, her back against the door and her voice soft and low. She wasn't the Queen just then, she was Emma's mother. "You loved him didn't you?" She closed her eyes, feeling sick. "You loved him and then he left you."

She paused, drifting off to possible futures that were now lost. "I can't imagine what I would do if... If I were you." She thought about it for a moment, her lips pursed and her eyes shining. "I would probably hunt the killer down and end his life right then..." She said with a spark of rage.

And then realisation struck her.

No...

"Oh Emma, " She stood up, her face chalky. "What are you doing?"

But the queen already knew. Emma was too much like her mother than it was good for her. Far too much.

Whatever you do Emma, don't kill him. It will ruin you for the rest of your life. Don't do it.

"Don't do it."

Emma paused, a orange fruit in her hand.

A little boy was standing a couple of paces away from Emma. He was frowning and pointing at the fruit she was holding.

After had rested on the beach for a few minutes, she had wandered the village, too weary to notice the unfamiliar people and their strange home. The hours had passed slowly, and the shadow had lengthened. Soon darkness would fall completely, she needed food and shelter. After failing to swap her knife for a loaf of bread, she had come across a tree which was loaded with ripe fruit. It was dropping off before her eyes into the long grass, but nobody touched it. It wasn't near anybodies house, so she had assumed that it was a local tree. It couldn't hurt to take one or two.

"I'm telling you, you don't want to do that." He seemed smug.

"Why?" She arched an eyebrow, and then pocketed the fruit. "Do you know who owns it?"

The little boy smirked. "Nobody. It's poisonous."

"Oh?" Just her luck, saved from one disaster, only to stumble across another. "Well thank you. I believe you just saved my life." She smiled to him and turned away. What now? She had a couple of choices. She could find someone who recognised her as Princess Emma, and was willing to take her home for a reward... She could find a job to do at this place, and then live out the rest of her life here. Or she could beg borrow and steal her way to Hook and then kill him.

She was liking the latter the most.

"Why do I feel like you don't think it's a big deal?" He had followed her. "Me saving your life I mean..."

She didn't look down, but she knew he was struggling to keep pace with her long stride. "Well isn't really a big deal..." She drifted off as she came into the village centre. There was a fountain, where women were filling buckets of fresh clear water, they did it quickly before the dimming light disappeared.

She was thirsty.

"... Not that your warning wasn't appreciated." Emma added, she knelt by the large stone basin of running water. Of course she earned a few funny looks from the people there, but that was nothing compared to what she had been through the past week. After drinking the wonderful cold liquid greedily, she wiped her chin with her already wet sleeve. She sure was a mess, and it was getting cold. A pity she had lost her cloak along with all her gold and jewels.

"Why are you still here?" She frowned at the child who was watching her curiously. "If you are expecting payment... Then you are going to be disappointed. I own nothing save the ruined clothing on my back. I wager you wont want them anyway... They smell like fish."

There was a short pause, and then the boy moved forwards. "I only want to know why you still have the poisonous fruit in your pocket. Anyone with half a mind would throw it as far away as possible. One bite and you die within minutes. Anyone... " His eyes gleamed. "...But you. So why do you keep it?"

"Were you ever taught to mind your own business?" Emma did't need to fake the annoyance in her voice.

He smiled. "Were you ever taught to repay favours, especially ones as important as this?"

Emma frowned, crossing her arms. She would tell him anything just to make him leave her alone. "I kept it because sometime ago I came to the conclusion that I might want to eat it if I get into a really tight situation." She sighed. "I'm guessing it would be quicker than drowning after being literally thrown off a ship, with both my arms and legs bound. Only a blunt fish scaling knife to keep me company."

That managed to silence him momentarily.

"Excuse me... But may I ask you to move out of the way a little?" Emma didn't look up at the voice, just nodded tiredly and stood up, letting him past her to the fountain. She glanced round and realised that the crowd of women were leaving, lugging their buckets of water along. The square was almost empty now, and the air was chilly. The moon gave Emma enough light to see by. "Off you go then." She grumbled to the boy. "I've had enough of your pestering... I think you should go home to your mother now." She was uncomfortably itchy and cold in her damp salty clothing. "There are some better things I could be doing with my time anyway." Like finding food.

"So that's why you're all wet...you went for a little swim in the ocean." He clucked his tongue at her and then ran off, disappearing into the crowd of people. Probably cutting every purse in sight, at least he cant have robbed Emma when she had nothing of value.

And then she remembered something... She did! She still wore her ruby and gold pendant under her tunic. Nobody had thought to search there when they were taking her things. Maybe she wouldn't starve after all!

She turned back to the fountain smiling to herself, and then came face to face with Hook.

Well it took long enough... But why wasn't he running? Surely he expected a troop of soldiers to appear behind her, but then again... He must have guessed from her clothing that she was alone. No princess should be allowed to look like she did just then.

To any passers by that were watching, it wasn't comfortable or pleasant situation. A cat screeched somewhere in the street, and the moon came out from behind a cloud.

"Emma?" He definitely looked shocked, but he was missing the expression she wanted to see the most on his face. Pain."What are you doing here?... And what are you wearing?" He was holding a full waterskin in his left- no... his only hand. He must have been the man who wanted to get past her.

Typical, she risked her life to find him, and then when she finally did have the chance... she almost missed it.

Her first reaction was to close her mouth. And then she dug into her pocket and puled out the fruit. It was a long, with soft orange flesh and black speckles. She silently held it out to him.

Eat.

She was only slightly disappointed when he shook his head, looking confused. Of course he wasn't going to accept... But that was good thing, she wanted him to die slowly, poison would end in minutes. She wanted it to last for days.

Calmly she pocketed the fruit, and took something else out instead. Something worth much more than the bread she had attempted to trade it for...

And then she stabbed him in the leg.

He doubled over in pain. "Well... I should have known..." He groaned and dropped the heavy leather waterskin on the dirt with a thud. "...That you wouldn't exactly be friendly after our last encounter."

Emma sneered and lunged for him, the knife raised yet again.

He ducked. "... But still, you could have at least graced me... with a hello."

"Hello Hook..." She growled. "killed anyone recently? Or have you decided to take a break, just until everything settles down?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forgotten already?" She managed the kick him in the shin. "It was less than a week ago."

"Forgotten what?" Obviously he was beginning to get annoyed now. Or maybe the pain of his wound only just kicked in.

"KILLING HIM! I saw you do it... there's no point in keeping up the act." It suddenly all felt real. This was no longer the nightmare she had pretended she was going to wake from. This was real. Philip was dead, and it was too late to wake up now. "Murderer!" It was all too real.

She had the dagger at his throat now, and the only thing that was stopping her from ending his life right then... was his hook.

"Who did you see me kill?" He whispered.

"Philip!" She snapped at him, still trying to get the knife past his metal hand.

.It didn't work.

He twisted the knife out of her hand and got both of her arms behind her back within seconds. She couldn't see him, and she couldn't break free, but she still kicked and screamed.

"Sorry about this..." She heard him say.

There was a sharp pain on her head. And then everything went black.

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