I apologize in advance if this chapter seems a little lame, but it is a necessary part of the story.
Note: I added to the original version of this chapter. Most of it is the same.
The moment Elsa left the tea parlor, she quickly made a list of places Anna frequented in and around the castle especially locations where she could possibly find solace. Elsa first went to their bedrooms as they were the more obvious choices and the most convenient. Elsa tried Anna's bedroom, her own bedroom in case Anna tried to trip her up in finding her and even went into their late parents' bedroom. She had no luck at all with the bedrooms. They were just empty rooms silently mocking her for her failure as an older sister screaming in her mind that Anna deserved a better sister than her. However, Elsa was not deterred. She was determined to find Anna and make things right between them. She mentally checked off the bedrooms with a dismissive blink and considered the next most logical places Anna might find comfort in: her study that used to be their father's, the stables, courtyard and library. If none of those worked, she would only have three options after that before she would begin to panic to find the location of her sister. Elsa only hoped that Anna would be in either of the following locations she was heading towards next.
Elsa went to her study and library first. She looked in every possible corner and space where Anna might want to hide herself away from the world. After mercilessly searching for her sister in the study and library, Elsa headed outside to the courtyard and stables.
At the courtyard, Elsa looked around and saw no trace for her sister. She deeply hoped and prayed that she would find her sister at the stables. She did tend to confide in the horses there when she had a particularly bad day whether it regarded her not having contact with Elsa or having been frustrated with one of her tutors. Elsa, in small secretive moments, recalled that Anna liked to go visit her horse and pet him and tell him things about her tutors. Elsa made a note that Anna especially would talk behind her politics tutor's back. They butted heads sometimes and particularly during debate lessons.
When Elsa arrived at the stables, she went first headed for the stall that held Anna's horse. Some hay clung to the bottom of her dress, but she did not care. She only cared about locating her sister and make amends with her. When she arrived there, she only saw a stableman giving the horse a carrot. She approached with a certain purpose added to each step she took. When she was close enough to him, she cleared her throat. The stable man looked at her with surprise.
"Queen Elsa? What are you doing here? "
"Pardon me, but I don't have time for pleasantries. Did you happen to see my sister by any chance wondering around here?"
"Princess Anna? No, I can't say that I have. Why do you ask?"
"I'm looking for her."
"Well, why don't you send for her? I'm sure someone can go look for her."
"No. What I need to tell my sister is of a very personal matter. It's my responsibility to find her myself."
"May I ask why?"
"Anna and I had a terrible argument and she ran away from me. I feel that I should go find her and make things right. If I sent someone else to find her then I would just be acting as Queen and not be a good sister."
"I see. I suppose you do have to go find Princess Anna yourself. Is this the first place you've looked for her?"
"No. I already have been to six other locations prior to coming here."
"Oh my. Well, I hope you'll find her. Do you have other places in mind where the princess might be?"
"Yes. I have three more places to check."
"What will you do if you don't find her?"
Elsa allowed the thought to sink in and it terrified her. She couldn't help but get a little teary eyed. Her throat tightened and her voice cracked.
"I don't know. I want to see my sister and make amends."
Realizing that he struck a nerve, the stable man gently cradled Elsa in his arms.
"A thousand pardons, my Queen. I did not mean to upset you. It's obvious you care about Princess Anna and you wish nothing more than to see her and speak with her so that you two may presume a healthy relationship as sisters."
"I just don't know what I'd do without her. She's my sister."
The stable man tenderly rubber Elsa's back. Usually he would wouldn't feel so bold and confident about touching the queen in such an intimate fashion, but his heart went to Elsa knowing that she should be allowed occasional moments of vulnerability without being judged.
"Please, Queen Elsa, stay strong. You have a mission to fulfill. Go find your sister and make things right. I have faith that you will find her eventually. A kind, clever, gentle and beautiful person such as yourself, Queen Elsa, will surely find what you desire most and what you deserve, And what I believe you deserve to be graced in your life and desire to happen is finding you sister and for you two become closer than ever."
Elsa gently pulled away from the stable man and wiped away the few tears that collected on her cheeks. She smiled at the man and gave him a light pat on the shoulder.
"Thank you, Andrew."
Elsa removed her hand from Andrew's shoulder and turned around. She headed her next closest destination: the garden. She was sure Anna could be there. If not, then she would only have two more places to go. As Andrew watched Elsa leave, he could feel his cheeks burn up. He felt so happy and special that she knew his name. To be fair, Elsa made it her mission to know as many names of staff members, servants and guards as possible. But Andrew never guessed that she would be able to remember his name. Andrew smiled having felt he accomplished the greatest feat ever-to be noticed by Queen Elsa. She certainly was quite a remarkable woman and ruler. Andrew knew Queen Elsa wouldn't try to ignore anybody in the kingdom since she saw value in everything people did it's just that Andrew was doubtful he deserved her attention because he was relatively new to the castle and didn't think Elsa would be able to notice him so quickly. But all that he considered about how Elsa was, it was proof enough that she was a very caring person. Andrew wished the best for her and he silently cheered her on to find her sister and make amends. After Andrew collected himself, he went back to work.
Elsa had reached the garden in record time. She went to the places of the garden that she knew Anna would spend most of her time at when relaxing on a bench or the soft grass. She looked everywhere and could not find her. Once again, Elsa asked a nearby gardener if he had seen her sister. The elderly, kind man shook his head expressing his sorrow as he could not assist Elsa in her search for her sister. She thanked him and went on her way not hearing the soft apologies the gardener mumbled to her.
The platinum blonde haired woman went on her way to the portrait room. Anna always seemed so fond of the portraits. Maybe she would find her sister talking out her emotions to Joan as she sat on her horse. Yet when she arrived at the portrait room is was as dull and empty as ever. Anna was not there to fill the room with life and joy. Anna was not there and Elsa began to panic. She had one option left and truly and desperately hoped that she would find her sister there. If she didn't find Anna, she would never forgive herself for losing her sister.
Elsa took a moment to gaze at the painting in front of her: Joan of Arch. She stared at the painted lady who had a determined and brave expression of her graceful face. Elsa wondered how many secrets or mundane facts about her life did she share with Joan. Elsa could just imagine Anna talking to Joan about her loneliness and wishful thinking that her sister would out and spend time with her. Thinking back at all that Elsa robbed Anna of her childhood, her heart pounded against her chest begging to be released and wishing to be in another body. Elsa felt so ashamed. She barely could keep her breaths in a calm, steady pace. She placed a hand flat against the wall underneath Joan for support before she fell over like she did when Hans claimed she was the reason Anna died. Elsa stared at the floor.
In a raspy voice Elsa uttered, "I'm such a terrible sister. I don't deserve Anna's love. I don't deserve being her sister."
Yet suddenly Elsa felt a tug at the back of her head as if an unknown force pulled her head up to look at Joan. Elsa blinked away some tears sting her eyes and straightened herself out. She looked at Joan and could swear that, despite being a painting, Joan was talking to her. Elsa could feel Joan's eyes bore into her soul and relayed an important to her: never give up. Elsa came to her senses.
"That's right. I have to find Anna. I can't give up now. Anna needs me and I need her."
Quickly wiping a newly-formed tear from her right eye, Elsa turned around and headed for the most dreaded place to visit in the castle, the place that contained more bad memories than good ones for Elsa. She headed for the ballroom.
The young ruler of Arendelle was exhausted when she reached the ballroom. Elsa hadn't started looking for Anna at the time. She first had to catch her breath and so she leaned against a cool pillar. As Elsa leaned against the pillar, she cleared her mind of all the places she had checked to try to find Anna. The more she thought about how far the lengths she would go to find her sister, Elsa thought that she may never find Anna and that she failed miserably as an older sister. The thought of failing Anna scared Elsa and she could feel her heart sink. But she would not give up on her sister. All those years when Elsa had shut herself from the world, Anna was there almost every day to try and get her to leave her room and play with her. Even if it seemed evident that Anna had given up on trying to coax Elsa out of her room, Elsa knew better. Technically, Anna never gave up on her. She still went up the North Mountain to talk to her and try and bring her back to Arendelle where she belonged. Elsa took a deep breath and turned to face the dance floor. Her breath hitched at the sight before her for her search apparently ended.
In front of Elsa was the huddled form of Anna sitting in the middle of the dance floor. Her body faced the throne. He head was buried in between her bent knees and her hands were curled against her kneecaps. Elsa heard her own heart break at the sight of her sister being so…so broken. It was her fault, but that didn't mean she couldn't fix things, couldn't fix Anna. She made sure she would fix Anna and their relationship as sisters. But before she approached her sister, she wanted to give Anna a few more moments alone because she knew that even if Anna looked broken that didn't that she could approach her without consequence. If Elsa disturbed Anna she could easily turn from sad to angry and look for the perpetrator. Elsa had to be careful; tactful when she chose to approach her sister. She leaned her left shoulder on the pillar with her arms crossed and watched over Anna like a guardian angel. She would wait just the right amount of time to feel that it was safe enough to approach her sister.
To Be Continued…