In the Mind of a Child Chapter 9

Introjections

Sometimes lies are more dependable than the truth

-Ayanami, Rei

It's cold, she thought to herself as she looked around the darkened room. The sheets lay crumpled on the floor next to her bed. Why can't he just stay still when he's sleeping? Asuka thought as she looked at the boy next to her, he shivered from the cold and brought his knees up to his chest in an attempt to warm up. "Shinji, Shinji wake up" She prodded as she lightly shook him.

"Wha…what happened?" He sleepily asked while rubbing his eyes.

"I…I'm cold" Asuka stuttered and shivered in an over exaggerated attempt to show how uncomfortable to she was.

"Where's the blanket at?" Shinji asked.

"Idiot, you're supposed to offer to warm me up; I am your girlfriend after all!" Asuka exclaimed flicking his nose. "I guess I'll just freeze" Asuka said acting as if she was crying.

"Come on Asuka I was just kidding" He hurriedly explained before he got up to retrieve the blanket he had kicked off the bed in his sleep. "There, is that better?" Shinji asked as he gently laid the bedspread across her trembling form.

"No" Asuka pouted as she crossed her arms and turned on her side facing away from him. She smiled as she felt him wrap his arms around her. He pulled her toward him and hugged her tightly.

"How long are you gonna be mad at me?" Shinji asked as he kissed her bare shoulder.

"As long as I want" Asuka replied still trying to pretend she was angry. She did her best to squirm and squiggle her way out of his grasp, but he securely held her in place. Eventually she stopped fighting and placed her head on his chest. "Okay, I'm not mad anymore" She felt Shinji try and restrain himself from laughing. Her head raised and lowered softly as Shinji deeply inhaled and exhaled.

"Your hair smells nice"

Asuka giggled and lightly hit him in the stomach before placing her arm across his abdomen. "Idiot"

Shortly after, she fell into a deep sleep and was again woken up by Shinji's stirring. "Where are you going?" She lazily asked.

"I've gotta go to work" He said as he tried to get up but failed as Asuka used all her might to keep him in place. "Sweetheart I have to go" Shinji smiled at her as he stood on his knees dragging Asuka, who was still attached to him, up as well. "You do this every morning" Shinji said as he placed a gentle hand on her cheek and grinned. "Will you let me go if I give you a kiss?"

Asuka nodded in response and closed her eyes as Shinji pressed his lips to hers and gently laid her back down to the bed.

"Asuka, breakfast is ready, hurry before it gets cold"

"Why so early momma!" Asuka exclaimed as she turned on her stomach and put a pillow over her head, trying unsuccessfully to block out the blinding light that had appeared overhead. It was only a dream, she thought.

"You're the one that said to wake you up at six, something about a dance" Her mother replied before walking out of the room.

Asuka's eyes shot open and she sprung from bed eager to begin her day. She struggled to put her sweatpants on as her eyes adjusted to the light. After grabbing a small white t-shirt from her closet she ran to the kitchen.

To say that Asuka's kitchen was small would be incorrect. It was the largest room in her house. Asuka's kitchen was cramped. In the middle of the room sat a beautiful, if not oversized, wooden dining table, complete with four chairs that served to only take up room since they never had visitors. In the rightmost corner was their hand me down refrigerator, donated by someone in Asuka's family. The ice machine on the left door didn't work and its color had long since faded from white. Next to the refrigerator was the washing machine with a missing dial that had to be turned by a pair of pliers. Her mother was at the stove preparing their breakfast like she did every morning before she went off to work.

Asuka's mother turned around as she heard her socked feet tramping on the dark green tiled floor. "Good morning sweety, how did you sleep?"

"Okay" Asuka answered, still grumpy at having been woken from her fantasy with Shinji.

"So tell me about this dance. Are you going with a boy?" Her mother asked as she set Asuka's plate in front of her.

"I…sorta" She replied, picking absentmindedly at her food.

"Sorta? Well what are you going to wear?"

"I…I wanted to wear your dress" Asuka hesitantly answered as she watched her mother retrieve a gallon sized jug of orange juice from the refrigerator.

"The red one? It doesn't fit you Asuka. I'm afraid it would drag the ground. It was also damaged when we moved, its torn on the side. I'm sure I could repair it but I have to go to work and I just don't think I would have time honey, I'm sorry." Her mother answered in a disappointed tone.

"I know you have to work mamma, but I was going to fix it. I have everything I need. I got it all from my Home Ec. Class"

"You know we don't have a sewing machine, you'd have to do all the repairs by hand. It would take all day"

"That's why I got up so early!" Asuka replied with a smile.

"Honey, why don't I just give you some money and you can go rent a dress. I don't want you in the house all day, you should be out enjoying the weekend" Her mother replied as she left the table and began searching for her pocket book.

There was no way Asuka could take her money. She was barely getting by as it is, her mother didn't need to spend her hard earned money on something as trivial as a high school dance. "But I wanna fix it myself!" Asuka exclaimed.

Her mother was taken back by Asuka's outburst. She sighed to herself and then smiled. "This boy must be pretty special. I'll go get the dress"

Asuka watched as her mother returned with a red dress wrapped in protective plastic. Before handing it over she studied the garment and silently wondered if she could still fit into something so tiny.

"Thank you momma" Asuka said as she took the dress and ran back to her room.

Normally Asuka kept her bedroom fairly organized, which wasn't difficult because she didn't really own anything besides clothing. Today however it looked as if a tornado had passed through. There were sheets of fabric scattered over the floor, spools of thread unwound and strung across her bed, scissors and other various sharp objects littering her carpet.

"I can't do this!" Asuka exclaimed after poking her finger again. She had gone through almost all of her fabric and none of it matched the color of her mother's dress. She had barely made progress, the chest still needed to be widened, the waist thinned out, and worst of all the giant hole still needed to be mended. Asuka needed help, but she only knew one girl that could sew and that was Shinobu. I don't think anyone asked her to the dance, Asuka thought to herself. She figured it would be distasteful to ask for help from a girl that was going to sit home all night.

After stabbing her finger yet again Asuka was fed up. She decided to ask her mother for help, she just couldn't do this by herself, it was impossible. She made her way to the back porch and saw her mother sitting quietly on a swing reading. She built that swing herself, Asuka thought. She had done everything by herself. Once her father had left, the responsibility of their survival fell to her mother. She had done it too. Asuka had never gone hungry, never gone without clothing. She took their condemned house and with her bare hands turned it into a home. She was never bitter, never had she taken out her anger on Asuka, like Asuka had so many times done to her. Even when Asuka was completely and utterly belligerent her mother never responded with rage, she simply apologized for being unable to provide Asuka a better life. Will I ever be like her? She thought as she watched her mother slowly swing, her auburn hair billowing behind her in the wind.

"Oh Asuka, how is the dress coming?" Her mother called out lifting her sunglass above her eyes. "Do you want me to take a look at it; I still have some time before I have to go to work"

If true altruism does exist then it is surely one of my mothers cardinal traits, Asuka thought to herself before running back in the house to finish the dress on her own.

"Mom, can you please take me?" Shinji begged. "If Dad drives me to the dance I know he's gonna say something embarrassing"

"Shinji, I'm tired, I've been on my feet all day, I'm not going anywhere. Besides if your father goes in his suit it'll look like you have a personal driver. You'll definitely get a kiss then!" His mother teased.

"Yui, you picked this suit out, if I look like someone's driver it's only because you have poor taste" Gendo responded as he grabbed his keys from the table.

"Perhaps I just like to dress you subserviently because it makes you easier to control" Yui shot back.

"Get in the car son" His father said with defeat in his voice.

"I think she lives right up here" Shinji said from the back seat. They had parked in front of a double story building that looked to be more of a dorm than a house. Shinji could hear female voices and see silhouetted shadows in the windows. "Hinata House" Shinji read the words from a small sign near the driveway.

"Do I really look like a limo driver in this suit son?" Gendo asked.

"You look fine Dad. I'll be right back"

"Well go get her stud" His father said putting the car in park and taking out his newspaper.

Shinji got out of the car and began making his way across her front lawn. He watched as she quietly slid out her front door. "Hey!" Shinji greeted her with a wave.

"Shh!" She exclaimed as she put a single finger up to her lips. "I don't want my roommates to know that I've left. They get kind of crazy when they see a guy" She smiled at him bashfully and followed him to the car.

"Hello Rei" Shinji's father greeted the girl as she stepped in the car.

"I…" She hesitantly replied.

"Dad this isn't Rei! This is Shinobu! I knew you were gonna say something to embarrass us!" Shinji exclaimed.

"It was dark! How am I supposed to keep track of all the girls you bring to the house!" His father replied as he sped the car down the road.

"How immoral" Shinobu whispered to herself.

Even from an inartistic male point of view Shinji could appreciate the beauty of the scenery. A shade covering the ceiling-mounted lights cast the interior of the gym in a cerulean incandescence. A mirrored globe spun in the center of the room throwing spots of white luminescence on the walls. Shinobu looked absolutely serene. She matched perfectly with her surroundings; her cobalt dress sparkled and almost seemed to glow in the light reflected by the spinning ball. Her hair, as well as her girlish face was dotted with tiny bits of glitter. She had a look of absolute amazement in her eyes as she took in the sites and sounds of the dance.

"Shinobu is that you? Oh my God you're so pretty!" Kaname exclaimed as she spotted the two enter the dance.

"Kaname, you've really outdone yourself with the decorations!" Shinobu replied.

"Shinobu you really do look great" Lavi said as she walked up and took a sip of her punch.

"Oh, no I, it's just that…" She stuttered blushing deeply.

Shinji wanted to compliment her as well but felt that she would just become more uncomfortable. Instead he smiled warmly at her and nodded. Another reason he couldn't directly talk to her is that when Lavi and Kaname appeared he had been somewhat excluded from their little group.

"It's best to just leave them alone when they get like that. My name's Clous, Clous Valka. I'm here with Lavi"

"Sousuke Sagara, I'm escorting Ms. Chidori" He had obviously made no attempt to dress for the dance as he was still in his school uniform.

"My name is Shinji Ikari" He said shyly.

"Oh yeah, aren't you dating Asuka?" Clous asked trying to loosen the tie around his neck.

"Negative, the last word was that he was with Ayanami" Sousuke interrupted.

Shinji immediately thought this guy was abnormal. He always seemed to be looking for something, like he was nervous or on alert.

"Don't worry about him Shinji he's just a military brat wannabe" Kaname explained before rejoining her friends.

"Shinji you didn't come with either one of them, you came with Shinobu, what gives?" Clous scratched his head and again loosened his tie before being scolded by Lavi.

"Its simple tactics" Sousuke answered. "He would have to fight a losing battle by choosing either one of them, so instead he opted for a third girl, a girl he could take who he didn't have feelings for. Thereby circumventing the choice all together"

"I understand all that. But who is Asuka here with then?" Clous asked.

"Asuka's here?" Shinji exclaimed.

"Yeah she was sitting by herself at one of the tables over there, she looked really lonely" Clous stated as he pointed toward the other end of the gym. "For as pretty as she looked it would sure be a shame if she didn't come with anyone"

"I agree" Sousuke stated.

"You what!" Kaname and Lavi exclaimed in unison as they started beating their dates.

Shinji looked at Shinobu who was giggling to herself. When he caught her eye she made a shooing motion with her hands alerting him that it was okay to go find Asuka.

As Shinji made his way through the crowd he was hit in the stomach by someone much larger than him.

"Oy! Hello boyo!" Toji exclaimed with a toothy grin as he punched Shinji in the arm.

"Uh, hi" Shinji said rubbing his injured bicep.

"Calm down son, get da knot out cha knickers. I got notten but respect for ya. I saw ya dat day when Ayanami walked outta ya house in da mornin. You got Asuka ova dere waitin on ya, and ya got Shinobu ta come to da dance with ya. Pretty damn good lad!"

Shinji only understood a select few words of what Toji had just said but knew that it was a good thing when the oversized jock opened a glass bottled root beer with his eye lids and handed it to him.

"Oy, dis ones on me lad, now go get ya gurl!"

Counting his blessing Shinji walked away and found Asuka sitting alone at a small round table observing the crowd. As soon as she saw him the sullen look disappeared from her face replaced by the sunniest smile Shinji had ever seen. She's beautiful, Shinji thought to himself. Asuka looked positively elegant in her sleeveless crimson dress. Where Shinobu seemed to match her surroundings, Asuka blatantly contrasted them. She stood out, like a priceless diamond among mere stones. Shinji had never seen a dress so beautiful, it was oriental in its design and was accented with golden kanji lettering that ran down the side. Her auburn hair was done up in a traditional bun with a few slight strands dangling in front of her face. She even wore a tiny chocker that added a girlish cuteness to her.

"Well, what do you think?" Asuka asked as she bit her lip.

"I…you're…wow" Shinji stuttered unable to avert his eyes.

"You like it! You really like it!" Asuka squealed as she jumped up and down while giving him a hug.

"Asuka, you look amazing" Shinobu compliment as she walked up.

"Is that you? Shinobu oh my God!" Asuka exclaimed

Here we go again, Shinji thought to himself.

"Who are you here with?" Asuka asked looking at Shinobu.

"I…I'm with Shinji" She answered nervously.

Before answering Asuka just stood there as if she couldn't contemplate what Shinobu had just said "You…why Shinji? Why would you ask her?" Asuka asked turning her attention to him.

"I just didn't want to lose you guys as my friends, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else to do"

"So I guess he likes you now?" Asuka said to Shinobu, the anger apparent on her face.

"Oh no, not at all Asuka! I know someone he works with and we are all going to meet up after we leave the dance. That's the only reason he asked me, he just wanted to help me out" Shinobu nervously explained.

Shinji watched as the anger faded from her face, replaced with a look of slight disappointment. "That's really kind of you Shinji" Asuka said averting her eyes and retaking her seat at the table. "So you guys are getting ready to leave?"

"Well yeah, Asuka what's wrong?" Shinji asked as he sat down next to her.

"Shinji, do you really like my dress?" Asuka whispered as she looked into his eyes.

"I…I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you are right now Asuka" Shinji said.

"You don't mean that" Asuka replied with a small grin on her pretty face.

"I swear it Asuka. I have an idea, why don't you come with us? I could brag to everyone tomorrow that we went out on a date" Shinji said trying his best to cheer her up. He still couldn't figure out why she was so down. He had told her that there was nothing going on between him and Shinobu. Why else would she be upset?

"What makes you think I wanna go on a date with you?" Asuka replied lightly punching Shinji's arm.

She's back, Shinji thought with a smile. "Come on, Keitaro is waiting on us"

Keitaro was indeed waiting for them at the noodle bar they had previously decided as their meeting place. He had even gone so far as to dress up slightly, wearing slacks and a black collared shirt. He waved happily as he saw the three teenagers walk up.

Shinji apologized for their tardiness. After the introductions and reintroductions were finished they sat down at the bar and ordered their meals. Everyone except for Asuka that is, she refused to eat on the grounds that she didn't want to damage her dress. Shinji really had never seen another girl as pretty as she was right now. She drew looks from everyone that walked by.

Keitaro and Shinobu got along immediately and chatted happily the entire time they were at the noodle bar. Shinobu seemed to come out of her shell when Keitaro was around, she was vibrant and giddy. She giggled freely and didn't even notice the others at the bar.

They had been sitting at the bar for over an hour before Shinobu said that she needed to go home before it got any later.

"I'll be happy to take you all home" Keitaro offered.

"Sure!" Shinobu happily accepted.

"I…I'll just walk" Asuka replied as she began to walk away.

"Asuka wait, are you sure you don't wanna ride?" Shinji asked.

"I'm sure" Asuka said as she continued walking away from him.

Shinji bid farewell to Keitaro and Shinobu before chasing Asuka down. "Hey, what's wrong? You're not even going to say goodbye?"

"I…goodbye" Asuka said trying again to escape but was stopped as Shinji grabbed her arm.

"At least let me walk you home" Shinji pleaded.

"No, its fine, it's a really long walk anyway. I had a great time tonight I'll see you at school okay" Asuka nervously replied.

"All the more reason for me to walk with you, look if you won't let me walk with you then I'll just have to follow you. Either way you're not going by yourself" Shinji replied crossing his arms. Shinji watched as she looked to the ground and nodded her head slightly.

The entire way she didn't say a word. Shinji figured he had said something wrong and tried several times to cheer her up. The only response she offered was either nonverbal or single worded sentences. After a while he gave up trying and shoved his hands in his pockets looking to the ground as he walked. His attention was so focused on his feet that he didn't notice that Asuka had stopped walking until he heard her voice from behind him.

"Shinji, this is it"

Shinji looked at the tiny house she was standing in front of and immediately understood why she was hesitant to let him walk her home. She was uncomfortable because he lived in such a large house and she only lived in an average sized home. If Shinji had it his way though he would rather have lived in a house like Asuka's, at least in wasn't a corporate fortress like where he lived. Even in the dark Shinji could see the little things Asuka and her mother had done to turn this house into their own. There were two little gardens on either side of her front porch with wooden signs shaped into tiny human form. One of the characters was painted in what appeared to be a school uniform. "Asuka is that you?" Shinji asked with a smile on his face as he walked into her front yard.

"I…yes, I made that when I was little" Asuka said.

"Did you make that wind chime too?" Shinji asked as he admired her work.

"Yeah, my mom kept all the stuff I made when I was little"

"That's awesome, I kind of wish my parents would do stuff like that. We have to keep our house spic and span because we constantly have big business over" Shinji replied sitting down on her front porch.

She smiled to herself and sat next to him. "Shinji do you remember when I told you I was lying to everyone?"

Shinji nodded in response.

"All my friends think I live in some big house on the other side of town. I just tell them my mom is really strict on having visitors, so they never ask to come over"

"I don't understand Asuka, this house is great, why wouldn't you want them to come over?" Shinji asked.

"It's embarrassing Shinji, have you seen their houses?" Asuka exclaimed.

"Yeah I've seen them, they're all as big and unfriendly as mine. I like your house because I already feel welcome here and I've never even been inside"

"Idiot" Asuka said with a smile as she took his arm and put her head on his shoulder.

"Asuka, if you're so embarrassed of your house then why did you let me see it?"

"Because…because I like you Shinji" Asuka said without looking at him.

"Well I like you too" Shinji replied.

"Not like that you idiot!" Asuka exclaimed as she grabbed his shoulders. "Do you know what I did all day today?"

All Shinji could do was shake his head in wide eyed surprise.

"I fixed this dress I'm wearing! My fingers have never hurt so badly in my entire life, I can't even remember how many times I stabbed them!"

Shinji couldn't help but smirk at what she had said.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny! I've never sewn a day in my life! But I had to learn so I could wear this dress for you! And you're so oblivious you probably don't even know why I would go through all the trouble!" Asuka said as she shook him violently.

Again Shinji's response was a simple shaking of his head.

"Because I like you stupid!" Asuka exclaimed as she kissed him so forcefully he fell backward in the wooden guardrails of her front porch.

End Chapter 9