A/N: I know it's been a while, a long while, and I can only apologise for that. Anyone who follows me on tumblr or twitter will know that I have been offline for a couple of months, which is why there have been no updates. But here we go. I'm not sure what happened with this, it didn't really end up the way I had planned it at the start, but you've got to go where the story leads you, right? Anyway, read, review and enjoy.

Chapter Ten.

As the hours passed, battle strategy was repeated, the army were getting restless. They knew the threat that they faced and they wanted to be out there defeating it. Lexa excused herself from the meeting of the generals, deciding to take a walk. As she walked she saw young children playing, some with sticks, and others with small blunt swords. She and Clarke had talked one night about the age at which the Grounders start really fighting. The Sky girl had mentioned one of her first encounters with Anya, she hadn't been able to save the young girl who was Anya's second. The girl had been badly injured by Raven's bomb on the bridge. In Clarke's mind the child was too young to be fighting a war, but that had been the way of the Grounders for as long as Lexa could remember. It had been the life that she herself had lived. Learning to use a sword as soon as her arm was strong enough to hold it, making her first kill at 6 years old, being assigned as Anya's second, before being called on to lead her people. In that moment Lexa made a decision, no children would fight this war if she could help it. She wouldn't be taking any children with her when she took part of the army with her to the Sky people's camp. More than once she had heard some of the Sky people, notably Abby and Kane, mention that Lexa herself was little more than a child. But she had been prepared her whole life to lead her people, it was the only life that she had known. It wasn't something that she had chosen, it was a way of life that she had been born into. She had been born to lead her people.

x-x-x

Clarke watched as once again everyone of fighting age was armed with a gun. Lincoln and Octavia had been running through drills with anyone interested, getting them more ready for hand to hand combat. There had been no word from the Grounders, not that Clarke had expected it. Bellamy and a few of the others had been out hunting, the whole camp getting together to eat, everyone except Clarke. She had purposefully separated herself from the group, sitting with her back against the building as she sharpened her sword, a sword that Lexa had given her. She didn't feel like she belonged in the camp, she still wasn't sure that she belonged anywhere. It wasn't long before Abby made her way over to where her daughter was sitting.

"Not hungry?" she asked.

"Not really." Clarke replied, smiling a little as she turned her attention back to sharpening her sword.

"You need to eat, Clarke." Abby said, in a way that only a mother could.

"Save me some." Clarke said, hoping that would be enough to appease her mother.

Abby smiled a little and stood up, as she started to walk away she turned back.

"Don't stay out here too late," she said, "it's starting to get cold."

Clarke watched as her mother walked back inside.

"Imagine that," Clarke said to herself, "we're outside and it's getting cold."

She finished sharpening her sword as she thought about her life on the Arc. All her life she had been used to never been cold, the Arc had a climate which was carefully controlled, it was never too cold, never too warm. The only time Clarke ever felt what she would consider cold was on the prison level, why waste heat on people you're just going to float when they hit 18 anyway.

x-x-x

Sleeping was so far from Lexa's mind as she lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She could hear constant movement outside, through the window she could see the full moon. All she could think about was the coming war, the biggest war her people would've fought in almost 20 years, a war she had started. If she had left Clarke at the Ice Nation camp her army wouldn't be getting ready for war, but she would also never have been able to forgive herself. There's only so much loss a person can take until it becomes too much, as much as she claimed not to care, she did. She felt the loss of every person who died under her command, she couldn't show it, she could never show it. The biggest loss that she'd had to deal with was Costia.

Closing her eyes she could still hear, word for word, her Generals words. She was young, she knew no better. Her first thought had to be for her people, not herself. When had that changed? That night on the mountain when she had turned her back and walked away, tears burning in her eyes, feelings that she had to hide. She had once told Clarke that it was better to stop caring, or you would be putting the people you care about in danger. If you cared, you felt the loss, if you felt the loss, you were weak. Her heart still ached for the girl she had lost, the girl she had loved. She had often thought about what Costia would think about what Lexa had done, the choices that she had made, even the choice that lead to her death. She and Costia had always talked about the changes that could be made once Lexa settled into her position as leader, a position she was born for, but still wasn't sure she was ever really ready for. Costia made her believe. Once she had lost that fear, she lost who she used to be. She became nothing other than the commander, the leader, the person that her people admired and feared in equal measure. They never questioned her, well Indra did, but in the end she always followed orders.

Now Lexa was in a position she hadn't found herself in for a while. The aching in her chest, that knowing feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was putting someone she cared deeply for in danger.

A knock at the door dragged her from her thoughts.

"Yes." She said as she sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

The door slowly opened and Indra walked in.

"I thought you would still be awake," Indra said as she slowly walked into the room, "I find myself a little… troubled, by the coming war."

"In what way?" Lexa asked as she rubbed the back of her neck, hoping to relieve a little of the tension that was building there.

"There hasn't been a night before battle where you haven't slept soundly," Indra replied, "not one night, yet this night is different. She is a weakness, Heda."

Lexa clenched her jaw as she listened to Indra speak.

"You cannot go into battle if your mind is focused on someone else." Indra continued, "keeping yourself alive becomes a secondary thought if your first thought is not for yourself."

"What do you suggest Indra?" Lexa asked.

"We march on the Ice Nation without the Sky People." Indra replied, knowing that Lexa wasn't going to like the idea, "We take our army and defeat them. This is the biggest army we have had, Heda, this is our best chance at eliminating them."

In her heart Lexa knew that Indra was right, if Clarke wasn't there, if the Sky People weren't there, she could focus on what she needed to do. Slowly she nodded her head.

"We leave at first light." Lexa said, "I want you to ensure that there are enough fighters left here to protect those left behind."

Indra bowed her head a little before leaving, closing the door behind her. Lexa stood up and walked over to the window, the cool breeze clearing her mind. Clarke would not be happy with the plan, but she would be safe.

x-x-x

As the sun rose above the mountain Clarke was already awake, she hadn't slept at all well. She hadn't slept well since that night on the mountain, but things had been getting better, the previous night however had been different. She had an uneasy feeling in her stomach. As she made her way out of her room she saw her mother walking towards her.

"It looks like you slept as well as I did." Abby said.

"You know I haven't been sleeping well lately." Clarke replied.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," Abby said, taking a deep breath, knowing what she was going to say wouldn't go down too well with her daughter, "it's about this war with the Ice Nation…"

"Say it." Clarke replied coldly, "whatever it is, just say it."

"It isn't our war, Clarke." Abby said, "if we keep fighting a new war every week there isn't going to be any of us left. Some people her are still recovering from the mountain, you cannot seriously expect them to go out there wielding a sword and fighting for their lives, yet again."

"We have no choice," Clarke said, "if we don't fight them, they will come for us. This is our war, it's a war that wouldn't have been started if Lexa hadn't decided to rescue me…"

"I understand that," her mother replied, "and I will be forever grateful to Lexa for what she did, but…"

"There is no but…" Clarke sighed, "it is what it is."

"I'm sorry Clarke," Abby said, straightening her stance, "the weapons have all been sealed away, we are not fighting this war."

"Like I told you before," Clarke said, turning away from her mother, "you're not in charge here. I walk out of those gates, they will follow me."

Clarke walked out into the early morning sun, her mind playing over what her mother had said. She knew that some hadn't recovered from the mountain, she wasn't expecting those people to fight. This was a war that had been started when Lexa saved her life, she wasn't going to stand by and wait as Lexa sacrificed her own life to end it.