Gathering human data
Explorer's log, Earth date 12th of May 2011
Fifth entry
Subject: Secret handshake
I wish now that I had remembered to study the interstellar travel guide again like I usually do in preparation for embarking on a new mission. Then I could have used the secret handshake to ascertain whether Christian Grey is indeed a colleague.
As it stands, I have not yet been able to verify whether Christian Grey is another undercover alien. I am ashamed to admit that can't recall if the secret handshake is even an actual handshake. How could that be if our true form and many other life forms don't possess hands?
At the time of my departure, though, I was too busy securing a temporary home for my space slug Bob. Bob has trouble trusting strangers. He had a difficult childhood.