A/N: This is more like just a continuation of the previous part, I've got a feeling that's the way it's going to continue until the end of the fic. I'm getting a 'the shorter the parts the more reviews' kind of vibe, either that or no one is actually reading this other than the 3 people I know about. Anyway, on we go. Read, review and please try to enjoy.
Chapter Thirteen
It had been almost an hour since Lexa went into her tent to 'talk' to Kassius. They had heard no shouting, no sounds of violence, Clarke couldn't help but be curious about what they were talking about. Her attention was drawn from the tent by raised voices, none-English speaking voices. She could pick out odd words but she had no idea what the whole heated conversation was about. She was immediately on her feet when she saw who it was disagreeing. Indra and Octavia. She started walking over to them when Octavia held her hand up in Clarke's direction, stopping her in her tracks. As much as it set her back a little that Octavia was refusing her help, she also understood, the young girl needed to do this herself. Still, she made her way a little closer just in case Octavia changed her mind. As everyone's attention was focused on the young girl and the Grounder general, nobody saw Lexa's tent open and the Grounder Commander walk out.
"Em pleni!" were the only words needed from the Commanders lips to cause the whole place to go silent, and for everyone to look in her direction, "This war is going to take enough lives without you two fighting each other. Indra, it is not up to you whether Octavia has the right to consider herself one of us. Octavia, if you wish to remain one of us, I suggest you learn some respect for your superiors."
There was something different about Lexa and Clarke just couldn't put her finger on what it was. Her eyes were still focused on the Grounder commander when she approached the Grounder who had been holding Kassius's weapons, she was surprised when she saw Lexa take a collection of weapons holsters from him, all containing the blades which they were made for. Lexa looked at Clarke as she turned and walked back to the tent with the weapons.
"So, I guess its official," Bellamy said, walking up next to Clarke, "my sister is a Grounder."
"There are worse things for Octavia to choose…" Clarke replied, her eyes still on Lexa's tent.
"But she isn't one of them Clarke, not really." Bellamy said.
"She isn't one of us either," Clarke replied, turning her attention to her friend, "Bellamy, she spent most of her first 16 years either under the floor boards or in prison. We did that to her…"
"Not us…" Bellamy said, shaking his head a little, "them…"
"There is no us and them," Clarke said with a little smile, "they were our leaders, their choices were our choices. People like my mom, and Kane, they are the ones who chose to lock your sister away. People that we are supposed to look towards to lead us into this big bright future down here on the surface…Or at least that's what was supposed to happen. Octavia has never felt like she belonged, not on the Ark, not on the dropship. This is the first time she has been accepted for who she is, let her have that…"
"What are we doing Clarke?" he asked, looking around him and down at the gun he was still carrying.
"The same thing that we've been doing since we first got here," Clarke said with a sigh, "surviving."
She glanced over at Lexa's tent again, wondering just what was going on in there with the weapons.
"You doubt her about hurting him?" Lincoln asked as he walked over to where Bellamy and Clarke were standing.
"I don't know…" Clarke replied with a shrug as she looked at him.
Bellamy tapped her arm as he saw Lexa walk back out from the tent. The blonde turned to look, her eyes automatically locking with the Commanders.
"Clarke…" Lexa said, "You may now come and settle your curiosity."
With that Lexa simply turned and walked back into her tent, expecting that Clarke would follow her.
"Good luck." Lincoln said with slight amusement in his voice.
Clarke took a deep breath and let it out in a very dramatic fashion, causing both Lincoln and Bellamy to laugh a little.
"Okay, here goes." She said, flashing them a little smile before walking towards Lexa's tent.
As she raised her hand to open the flaps she noticed that her hand was shaking a little, not knowing what was going on with Lexa was affecting her in more ways than she thought it would. With another intake of breath she walked into the tent.
She found Lexa standing near one of the tables, her eyes searched for Kassius, they found him putting the last of his weapons back where they should be.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He smiled a little and gave her a small nod.
"I said I wouldn't harm him…" Lexa said.
"I know, I just…" Clarke said, turning to face the commander, "you were in here a while."
"There was a lot to discuss." Lexa replied, trying not to let Clarke hear the uncertainty in her voice.
"What's going on Lexa?" Clarke asked, almost pleading with the other girl to open up to her.
A look passed between Lexa and Kassius, a look that didn't go unnoticed by Clarke, nor did the slight nod from the Grounder advisor.
"The reason that I needed to speak with Kassius alone is…" Lexa started to say, mentally kicking herself for feeling that she needed to explain herself to the blonde girl, "I need him to complete a task for me, which is of great importance."
"What task?" Clarke asked, she noticed Lexa swallow hard and take a small step back, "What task Lexa?"
"The delivery of my offer of surrender to the Ice Nation." Lexa replied as calmly as she could.
"You cannot be serious!" Clarke said, the volume of her voice increasing with the sense of anger and panic that was now coursing through her veins, she snapped her head around to look at Kassius, "And I cannot believe you're going through with this, are you insane?"
Kassius didn't say anything, he simply dropped his eyes so he was looking at the floor.
"No," Clarke said, "no. That is not going to happen."
"The decision has already been made." Lexa replied, trying to keep herself calm so she didn't shout back at Clarke, though it was tempting.
"It's not a decision, Lexa, it's a suicide mission and you know it." Clarke said, tears burning at her eyes as her anger grew.
Lexa looked over Clarke's shoulder, Kassius was looking back at her.
"Can you leave us…" she said quietly.
Kassius simply bowed a little and made his way out of the tent.
"Clarke…" Lexa said, putting her hands on the other girls shoulders to hold her in place, she looked into her eyes, "this is the only way I can protect my people…"
She shook her head a little, trying to clear her head.
"We cannot win this war…" she concluded.
"You don't know that." Clarke replied, "how is this going to protect your people, Lexa, you surrender, they kill you. Your people lose twice."
"The surrender is going to come with terms," The Grounder Commander said as she let go of Clarke and turned away from her, burying her emotions again as she walked over to the centre table, "my conditions of surrender if you like. The safe retreat of my people, the guarantee of no further attacks against them, and…"
"And…?" Clarke asked, her eyes fixed on Lexa's back, she knew the other girl was having a hard time keeping her composure.
"And the promise of no attacks against your people." Lexa replied, turning her head slightly, catching Clarke's eyes for a second before turning away again.
"They aren't going to let us leave Lexa," Clarke said, slowly walking over to the commander, "your people will not let you surrender. Do you really believe that once you surrender and they do whatever it is to you before they kill you…"
"They will try and gain information from me," Lexa replied matter-of-factly, "information about our cities, our defences, our numbers. They will want to know the weak spots, where they will be able to gain access to our council members. Information which they will then try and use to either conquer or erase my people."
"You know all that and you're still going to go through with this?" Clarke asked, shocked that Lexa thought that this was the best way to protect her people, "at least give them a chance to fight for their survival Lexa, with you there fighting for it with them."
"We will lose." Lexa said slowly, "many people will die, on both sides. It is the job of a leader to put their people's needs above those of their own…"
She turned to face Clarke, not realising that the blonde girl was so close behind her, Lexa backed up like she had been burned.
"Once a leader has done all they can for their people it is time for them to step aside," Lexa said, remembering the lessons she had been taught as she grew, "when they lead their people into a battle they cannot win… It's time for me to step aside, I've done all I can."
"No you haven't," Clarke said, stepping closer again, knowing that Lexa had nowhere to run this time, "you have done more for your people than anyone in your history, you've given them peace on so many levels. Your people respect you in a way I have never seen, they would follow you into the pits of hell…"
"Which is what they may well be doing if I don't do this." Lexa replied quietly, "I have to do this…Death is not the end, Clarke."
"Are you for real right now?" Clarke asked, losing the last of the composure that she had, "Death is not the end? Spare me the bullshit Lexa. Death seems pretty final to me. It may not be the end for you, your soul will move on and select the next leader, but what about the people who care about you…"
"They will grieve, and move on." Lexa said, trying to explain it to Clarke, rather than antagonise her further, "death is an accepted part of our society, Clarke. My people understand that sometimes it is the only choice a leader can make, it is the ultimate act."
"No…" Clarke said shaking her head, "it's not happening. I won't let you. It may be an 'accepted' part of your society Lexa, but what…"
It was now or never for Clarke, if she wasn't honest with Lexa now she probably never would be.
"What about me…" She said, her voice cracking slightly, not attempting to hide her feelings from Lexa, "what am I supposed to do…"
Lexa furrowed her brow a little as she slowly stepped towards Clarke, she softly placed her hand over Clarke's heart as she swallowed hard.
"You will realise what I have always known," Lexa said, "that you are going to be a great leader… and when you're living out your life, in peace, you'll think back to this night… and you will realise that this was the moment that my part of uniting our people had come to an end, the rest is up to you…"
"No…" Clarke said, pushing Lexa away a little so she could step back from her, "this is you giving up Lexa, it's just one more push… I cannot do this without you."
"One more push…" Lexa said, her eyes locked on Clarke as the blonde made her way around to the opposite side of the table, "followed by another and another. I'm tired, Clarke… I thought that uniting the clans would bring us peace, but it didn't. Our enemies simply changed. When does all the loss actually start making a difference…?"
Clarke narrowed her eyes as she looked at Lexa, fighting to keep the small smile off her lips as she started to hear fight and determination in Lexa's voice, she needed her angry, she needed her to fight.
"Since your people arrived things have been different," Lexa continued, "I… have been different. Spending time around you made me start to believe that the future I had once imagined for my people may be possible. Your ideas, your views, your beliefs… they are so different to ours. You still hold onto that hope that one day you will wake up and the fighting will be over…"
"And one day it will," Clarke said, "this cannot go on forever, sooner or later we're going to have to remember that the inability to live peacefully, side by side, is what nearly destroyed humanity in the first place. This is the second chance for us Lexa, not to make the same mistakes that our ancestors made. An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind…"
"An eye…" she started to say, slightly confused, not entirely understanding what Clarke was saying.
"For an eye will leave the whole world blind…" Clarke said, "it's an old Earth saying, I remember reading it during a history lesson…it basically means that a constant cycle of murder and revenge, in this case, will never end, and everyone will suffer because of it. I've said it before, but you're the only one who can stop this Lexa. You are the only one… strong enough to stop this. Or at least I always thought you were, maybe I was mistaken. Maybe you're just like everyone else, and you've just had enough. You've given up. I understand that you're tired Lexa, but this isn't you… The Commander Lexa I know wouldn't take the easy way out just because she's outnumbered, the Commander Lexa I know wouldn't walk away when her people need her…"
She saw Lexa grip down on the edge of the table as she lowered her head. She was gripping the wood of the table so tightly, Clarke was sure that she saw her knuckles start to turn white.
"The Commander Lexa I know risked her life to save mine," Clarke said, "even though she probably shouldn't have, because it put her people at risk. The Commander Lexa I know would put her life on the line fighting with and for each and every one of her soldiers out there… because you do fight for them Lexa."
"Stop it…" Lexa said, not looking up at Clarke.
"I know you, Lexa," Clarke continued, "you wear the mask so well, but I know you. What you try hiding from everyone around so they don't think you're weak… you."
"You don't know anything…" Lexa lied, shaking her head a little.
"So why do you keep pushing me away?" Clarke asked seriously.
"Because I have to!" Lexa said, snapping her head up and looking at Clarke, she was now shouting, "For this to stand a chance of working I have to. I can't have you here Clarke."
"Any reason for that?" Clarke asked as she stepped away from the table.
"Because you make me doubt my decisions." Lexa said, her voice still what Clarke would consider raised, "for this plan to work, I have to believe it will work."
Clarke didn't say anything, she couldn't, her mind was swimming with questions.
x-x-x
Outside the tent they stood in silence, they had been hearing raised voices coming from Lexa's tent for the last few minutes, as they had on and off since Kassius walked from the tent. Lincoln had looked around when he first heard the raised voices, but either none of the Grounders could hear it, or they were pretending they weren't hearing it out of respect for their leader.
As the shouting had continued a hush had fallen across most of the camp, people choosing to sit inside their tents rather than outside. He had never known Lexa to get like this, he knew that the challenge that lay ahead of them was a big one, but he had always known Lexa to be more confident the bigger the challenge they had faced. The elders of his people used to tell a story about the people from the sky and what their arrival on earth would mean. They had believed that the Sky people's arrival would spell the beginning of the end for their people. As long as Lexa remained leader, Lincoln had no doubt that would never come to pass. Her death would set them back decades.
"Should one of us go in there?" Octavia asked as she gently rested her head on his shoulder.
Lincoln softly kissed her head, before his attention was drawn again to Lexa's tent as Clarke stormed out.
"Clarke!" Lexa called after her.
The blonde girl continued walking, down the hill and through the camp. He heard Lexa let out a small growl in frustration as she turned and walked back into her tent. Lincoln was about to follow after Clarke, just to make sure that she didn't go and do something stupid, like leave the camp. He stopped in his tracks as he saw Kassius following behind Clarke.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
a/n: The next part is already finished so you won't have to wait very long for an update J