In the Mind of A Child Chapter 13

Eros

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close. The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold. Even though you're next to me I still feel so alone, I just can't give you anything for you to call your own.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

"Come on Rei, there's no way it tastes that bad" Shinji said as he watched Rei crouch over and massage her jaw.

Rei responded by swatting at him with her free hand. "You're right, it didn't taste bad at all. It had no taste" She explained as she spit out the horrid pastry Shinji's mother had made. "The problem is that it was solid in the middle. I think I chipped a tooth"

"It's not polite to talk about my mother's cooking like that" Shinji said doing his best to stay out of arms reach.

"It's also impolite to give your girlfriend a potentially lethal pastry"

"Girlfriend?" Shinji's eyes went wide in disbelief. "You…you're my girlfriend now?"

Damn it, Rei thought to herself. She couldn't believe she had let that slip. There was no way she could play it off, knowing Shinji, he would aggravate her until he got a response. Instead of replying she simply acted as if her tooth were causing her incredible pain. "Mmm" She mumbled making a pained face.

"Rei! What do you mean girlfriend?" Shinji exclaimed. "Were you serious? Aren't you still mad at me?" He begged gently pulling on her arm.

"Mmm!" Rei said as she easily broke Shinji's hold on her wrist and began to walk toward school.

Shinji stood there watching Rei walk away with a gigantic grin on his face, "Rei wait up!" Shinji exclaimed as he hurried to walk beside her. "Hey, since we're dating; does that mean that I can hold your hand and hug you in public now?"

Rei stopped and turned to directly face him, "If you continuously pester me, I will retract everything I said" With that she continued walking, but not before interlocking her fingers in his.

With Shinji contentedly swinging their conjoined hands playfully back and forth Rei took out her small notebook and began scanning through its contents. Being taller than her, Shinji could easily see what was written on its tattered pages. "Rei, why does my name appear so much on this page?"

"Like I said before Shinji, you're my first case study. This particular section contains evidence that you have an Oedipus complex. What's especially disturbing is that you should have grown out of that when you were about eleven"

Shinji rolled his eyes and said, "I'm almost scared to ask but…"

"The Oedipus complex normally occurs during the phallic stage of psychosexual development, it's when a boy wishes to sexually possess his mother. My theory is that since you can't have your mother you've sought out the next best thing, namely me"

It took Shinji an abnormally long amount of time for what he had just heard to sink in. His over exaggerated response more than made up for the delayed reaction however. "Oh my God, that's disgusting Rei!"

"I agree, it is quite disconcerting" Rei said without taking her eyes away from her book.

"What else have you written about me?" Shinji said making an unsuccessful grab at Rei's notebook.

"It's confidential and so intelligently written you'd probably hurt yourself just trying to read it" Rei giggled.

After trying again in vain to snatch Rei's book Shinji lightly poked Rei in the ribs making her jump and squeak. She eyed him angrily and clutched her book tightly to her chest. Shinji, refusing to be beaten, poked her in both ribs at the same time forcing her to squeal and drop her journal to the ground. Before she had a chance to react he had already retrieved the book and began scanning though its pages.

"Shinji, that was uncalled for" Rei muttered as she wrapped her arm around his.

"Don't you need the patient's permission to do a study, this…extensive?" Shinji asked.

"Of course you do. I'm not licensed though so I really don't have to follow those type of rules. That's one of the benefits of being a cocktail psychologist"

"It says here, that I have sleep apnea. What is that?"

"It means you snore" Rei said as she blushed slightly, remembering when she had stayed the night at his house.

"I…I may snore, but you grind your teeth" Shinji responded with a mischievous grin.

Rei's face turned an even deeper shade of red as she quickly disagreed. "How would you know that anyway?"

"Honestly I was really nervous and didn't sleep that well. So I just sat there and kind of watched you. I guess that's kind of weird, huh?" Shinji said as he rubbed the back of his neck and flashed her an embarrassed smile.

It wasn't weird at all. Now that she thought about it, it was actually reassuring to know that someone was looking after her while she slept. Rei had a habit of reviewing previous memories in her mind and could recall with clarity everything about that night. Everything from the way he looked to the conversations they had. Rei was so deep in thought she didn't notice how uncomfortable Shinji was getting. She had, after all completely stopped talking and was now looking at the ground smiling as she milled that night over in her mind.

"Um, so what do you plan to do with all the knowledge in psychology?" Shinji asked trying to loosen the collared shirt of his school uniform.

"Huh? Oh, I plan on getting a doctorate and then after that I'm not really sure. I don't think I'm empathic enough to become a therapist. I don't really have an overwhelming urge to help people. Perhaps a more aggressive use of the skills I have would suit me better. My English isn't all that bad, maybe I could even find employment in America or the UK" Rei noticed that Shinji suddenly seemed a bit distraught, she couldn't figure out why though. "How about you, with you're amazing knowledge of computers?" She had to lightly squeeze his hand to snap him out of whatever it was that he was pondering.

"I'm really not that good" Shinji humbly replied.

"Shinji how many different companies did you have to hack into in order to get that information on me"

"A couple"

"So I ask again, what are you going to do with this amazing talent you have?" Rei repeated.

"I dunno, I'll probably get a degree in network security or something. So are you really thinking of leaving Japan?"

"I…is that what's bothering you?" Rei asked, finding that she was also saddened at the thought of leaving him.

"No, not at all" Shinji laughed uneasily.

He really is a sweet guy, Rei thought to herself as she put her head on his shoulder.

They continued walking in silence for a while before Shinji spoke up again, "Rei, have you ever tried to analyze yourself? I just figured that would be the hardest thing to do since you wouldn't really want to find out about you own demons"

"Of course; I believe that it would be hypocritical of me to try and point out other people's flaws if I can't even handle learning about my own. Turn to the first couple of pages if you want to read about me" Rei replied indifferently.

"No, it's really none of my business" Shinji said handing the journal back to Rei.

"I'll tell you, just the same" Rei said with a small smile. "I suppose you should know that I diagnosed myself with schizoid personality disorder a couple of years ago. I haven't really gotten over that yet, I'm still inappropriately unemotional, I have a serious lack of social relationships, and what's worse is, I don't personally see a problem in the way I behave. I have a tendency to intellectualize situations where I'm not comfortable. I also have night terrors from time to time. Back when I lived with Misato she said that I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. She always thought it was because of what I had been through when I was homeless" Rei explained monotonously. "The last bit of information should be about my fears; I only have two predominate fears in this world. The first is that someday I'll realize I am not as smart as I make myself out to be. The second is that it was a mistake to trust you as much as I do" Rei noted an almost imperceptible change in Shinji's body language in response to her last comment.

"Why is it when you analyze someone you never point out anything positive about their personality? I think it would be just as important to mention a person's strengths as it would be to cite their weaknesses"

Rei responded more out of devil's advocacy than pure disagreement, "It doesn't help to hear about all the things a person's good at because then they will just take that as an excuse to settle back into their old ways"

"Well you're the one with the experience so I won't argue, but I still think you're wrong" Shinji nonchalantly replied.

Rei could tell Shinji had been put off from the comment about her trusting him. He was now blatantly patronizing her. She really couldn't blame him for being upset, but she didn't exactly feel the need to apologize either. "Shinji, you're upset" He's going to deny it.

"I'm perfectly fine" Shinji spat.

"Perfectly fine" Rei echoed.

"Yes"

"So if you're not angry then there's some other reason that you stopped holding my hand?" Rei cutely asked while pointing at Shinji's folded arms.

"Yes…I mean…" Shinji stuttered before uncrossing his limbs.

Rei figured she had poked at him enough and tentatively took his hand. "I wasn't trying to attack you with what I said. I didn't mean for you to get upset" She explained, flashing him a small smile.

Shinji nodded in response and added, "One day I'll be able to beat you at these mind games. One day, you won't be able to psychologize everything into being my fault"

Rei giggled at Shinji's invented word and said, "So I suppose you plan on being with me for a while then?"

"Stand, bow, sit!" Hikari ordered as Misato walked in the classroom.

"Sorry I'm late everyone!" Misato said cheerfully as she removed her heavy overcoat to reveal a risqué spaghetti strap top.

The collective attention of the male population in the class quickly shifted to Misato's chest, which seemed to bound flamboyantly at her slightest movement.

"Hey Shinji…" Toji whispered from his desk across the room. "If you look really close you can see her nipples!"

"Huh? Really?" Shinji said as he squinted his eyes.

He's actually leaning forward in his desk to get a better look, Rei thought as she stared at him and then at her own chest; after deciding she was no match she rolled her eyes and set her gaze to the window.

"Okay everyone, I have a surprise for all of you! We have another transfer student in today! Come on in!" Misato called to someone waiting just outside the door. When the new girl walked in she grabbed her by the shoulders and proudly announced, "She's quite the little celebrity, she's even been offered deals from some major record companies!"

"Hey Shinji!" Toji whispered. "Wasn't she in that swimsuit magazine you were looking at?"

Rei again rolled her eyes while Shinji hurriedly explained that Toji was lying. Rei was about to inform Shinji that she had seen the magazine on his bed the last time she was at his house but the new girl began to speak.

"What's up, my name is Maho Minami" The girl said in almost perfect English. "Where do I sit?" Maho asked looking up at Misato.

Misato winked and said, "Sit beside the boy you think is cutest"

"Fine" Maho replied without hesitation and walked next to Shinji desk. "May I sit next to you?" She asked, switching to Japanese. Shinji apparently forgot how to speak and simply stared at her in wide-eyed wonder.

"Bastard!" Toji yelled from across the room.

"His name is Shinji Ikari and yes, you may sit next to him" Rei answered, showing off her bilingual capabilities.

"Oh you speak English too? Is he your boyfriend?" Maho asked

"It's possible, but he seems rather disinterested in me at the moment. I'm Rei Ayanami." She waved off Shinji as he tried to inquire what they were going on about.

"I didn't mean to be rude, but he is kawaii" Maho said as she winked at Shinji.

"Rei, what is she saying?" Shinji begged.

"She just said that Toji was cute" Rei lied. Maho nodded in agreement.

"Yo…you…play Beck?" Shinji asked testing his English.

Maho giggled and explained in Japanese, "Yes, my boyfriend is the singer for the band Beck. They just got back from their American tour.

Rei breathed a sigh of relief at hearing that this new girl had a boyfriend.

"You mean Koyuki Tanaka? That's awesome! I love their music!" Shinji exclaimed.

"Yeah, he might even go to school here! I can't wait!"

"That would be great! Hey Rei did you hear that, we're gonna have two celebrities going to our school!"

"Great" Rei flatly said, not looking up from her journal. She was busy starting a new chapter on the analysis of Maho. After writing nothing but negative comments she gave up and decided she wasn't exactly in the most objective frame of mind.

"Shinji you really shouldn't talk to strange new girls while your girlfriend is sitting right there watching you" She then winked at him and half-whispered "You should wait until we're alone"

At that comment Rei reopened her book and was about to write more negativity when Misato joined the conversation.

"Wow, Shinji you're quite the playboy aren't you! Not only do you have Rei wrapped around your little finger but the new girl as well, and she's famous! I bet poor Rei is as jealous as can be! How do you manage? I bet all the guys in class are going to be really upset at you!" Toji yelled his agreement from across the classroom.

"Rei, I was only kidding. What is she going on about?" Maho asked in English, the annoyance apparent on her face.

"How are you gonna compete with fame and beauty Rei? I bet you're gonna have to start putting out huh?" Misato asked playfully nudging the blushing girl.

"Misato, what do you think Principal Akagi would say if she found out about your special brew of coffee…especially since it raises your blood-alcohol level" Rei asked without looking up from her book.

Defeated, Misato slumped away to begin the days lesson.

At lunch Shinji and Rei were joined by Maho at their usual table. Rei was slightly disappointed because she thought that with the new girl there Shinji would be totally engrossed in whatever she had to say. To his credit though, his infatuation seemed to have ended and he sat quietly eating his meal. Before Rei could start a conversation Toji interrupted, "Oy Shinji, ya don't mind if we sit here" Without waiting for a response Toji, Clous, and Sousuke had all seated themselves on Maho's side of the table.

"Aren't your girlfriends going to be angry that you're over here ogling the new girl?" Rei asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Unquestionably" Sousuke replied and resumed staring blankly at Maho.

Not long after Shinji's friends had sat down, more people began streaming toward the group. Eventually a second table had to be added to accommodate the onlookers. It seemed like the entire cafeteria was packed in their area.

After lunch Shinji spent the entire day apologizing for the way he had acted around Maho. Being slightly vindictive she enjoyed ignoring him and pretending to be angry and hurt. She supposed it was just something girls were supposed to do. She didn't expect it to come so naturally however.

When class ended Rei and Maho, were waiting for Shinji in front of the school for no longer than five minutes before the crowd from the cafeteria swarmed around them like buzzards would road kill. By the time Shinji appeared he had to fight his way through the flock just to stand next to Rei. Shinji's friends had taken to being the celebrity's bodyguards and were forming a line to hold off the crowd.

"Shinji is she really this popular?" Rei asked, having to raise her voice considerably to be heard over the ever-growing mob.

"I…I guess so" Shinji replied. "This is getting out of hand, I think the entire school is out here"

Maho didn't seem to mind at all and was all smiles as she happily answered everyone's repetitive questions. Rei on the other hand was beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic and started looking for an escape route.

"Get out of my way!" A familiar voice demanded.

Rei recognized the accent immediately, and she could also see a patch of scarlet hair swimming it's way through the crowd like shark. It's time, Rei thought to herself as she left Shinji's side and made her way to Toji. "I need you to do me a favor"

"Oy stop pushin!" He screamed at the horde. "What do you want Ayanami?"

"No matter what happens, keep Shinji out of this" Rei commanded.

"What the hell?" Toji asked bewildered.

"Just promise me!" Rei exclaimed.

"Promise you wha…" Toji couldn't finish his sentence because Rei had been knocked to the ground by the irate Red Head.

The mass of people were shocked to silence as they saw Rei on her back, rubbing her jaw. The stillness was lifted as people recovered and began to cheer on the fighters.

"Rei!" Shinji yelled as he ran for the injured girl.

"Toji!" Rei exclaimed as she watched Shinji push his way past him. Before he could make it any further Toji reacted and swung him around, forcing him to the concrete.

"Get up Ayanami!" Asuka shouted. "I don't know what you did to me, but you're going to pay"

Asuka looked as if she had been to hell and back, her hair was messed, and her clothes were tattered and dirty. She had a dark purple ring under her left eye where someone had obviously hit her. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired looking but they were full of life. She's recovering, Rei thought to herself as she slowly began to get to her feet.

"I said get up!" Asuka demanded as she violently grabbed Rei by the collar. "Do you have any idea what you've done to me?"

Rei's arms hung limply by her side as she made no attempt to fight back in any way. "I…I'm sorry" Rei said looking Asuka directly in her eyes.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Asuka said as she slapped Rei and then shoved her to the ground again.

"Let me up! Get off me!" Shinji screamed as he saw Rei go down again.

"Hey boys I need some help over here, he's stronger than he looks!" Toji exclaimed and was soon joined by Sousuke and Clous.

"Fight me damn it!" Asuka commanded and kicked at Rei's feet.

I deserve this and worse, Rei thought to herself as she tried in vain to get back up. "Asuka, I'm sorry" She said hanging her head.

"I said don't apologize to me!" Asuka screamed and kicked Rei in the stomach. "I'm wasting my time, you're not even worth it!" She said as she picked up Rei's book bag, emptied it's contents and threw it back at her. She began to walk away kicking Rei's books across the courtyard but stopped and returned to say one last thing, "Stay away from Shinji, freak"

"No" Rei replied.

"What did you say?" Asuka asked as she neared Rei.

"I said no" Rei repeated.

"Bitch!" Asuka yelled as she kicked at Rei's ribs again, however before it connected, Rei caught her ankle and shoved it backward. Asuka was so caught off guard by Rei's defense she lost her balance and stumbled. "Whatever!" Asuka said before shoving her way through the crowd.

Asuka had just gotten out of view of the mob before the bile began to burn in the back of her throat. She dropped to her knees and dry heaved until it became difficult for her to breath. After seeing the dried blood on her hands she started to sob uncontrollably.

Back at the school the crowd had dissipated enough so Rei could see that Shinji was still on his back fighting all three of his friends. "You can let him up now" Rei coughed. Within moments he was by her side cradling her fragile body.

"Rei, are…are you okay?" Shinji asked wiping the hair away from her eyes.

"I'm perfectly fine" Rei replied with a smile as a tear rolled down her bruised cheek. "We saved her"

End Chapter 13