Disclaimer: BioWare owns Mass Effect. 20th Century Fox owns the Alien franchise. EA owns Dark Space. Looking Glass Studios, Origins, and EA owns System Shock.
Hades Nexus Cluster, February 24, 2177
"So let me get this straight," Master Chief Stacy Valentino seethed, her face beet-red as thirty-nine people occupied the Tram Station of the Medical Deck, the Tram itself sitting in the tube, thankfully blocking both sides of the tunnel where nothing could get in or out. The door to the Medical Deck had been shut and sealed for the time being, and with the exception of the single air vent that had at least half-a-dozen eyes and several itchy trigger fingers on it, they were safe for the time being. "The same Goddamn computer we spent several fucking hours running around for and fixing is really a murderous AI that started this whole fucking thing?"
"For the most part, yes." Dr. Terrence Kyne replied calmly to the N7 that was practically screaming in his face, and 1st Lieutenant Jane Shepard had to give the Ishimura's Chief Science Officer some credit, the man didn't balk easily. Of course, he had survived almost two weeks on a derelict ship with Xenomorphs; the weak didn't survive that. "I will admit that some of this is our fault; I knew of the Xenomorph eggs being delivered here," Shepard's head snapped towards the Doctor, and he noticed, holding up his hands to indicate patience, "but we weren't going to expose anybody to them. I was simply to study the specimens, to see if the data we had received was true."
"Data… received. Fuck." Shepard sighed, thinking of Carter Burke as she pinched her nose, a nice migraine developing behind her eyes. "Dr. Kyne, if you do not relish the thought of spending the rest of your life in an IsoCube with a horny Vorcha, I would strongly suggest you explain every fucking thing to me right now, with every fucking detail possible. Lying to me will not be in your best interest."
"I can do you better, Lieutenant… ah, Specter." None of the survivors had been aware of Shepard's Specter candidacy, as her interview with Ann Coultier had been five days prior, while the remaining crew of the Betty, the Kellion, and the Ishimura had been fighting for their lives. Most seemed skeptical of the news, but the sight of so many sentient aliens as well as Alliance Military personnel had most of them keeping silent on their doubts. Captain Zach Hammond of the Kellion seemed to go along with it well, as had Isaac Clark. The Betty's crew didn't seem to care either way, no surprise, though Wynona Call seemed the best out of the bunch, or perhaps the least deplorable. Most of the Ishimura's crew didn't seem to believe her, though Jacob Temple seemed a good sort of man. "I have everything saved on my personal datapad, from the e-mail sent to me from the CEC alerting me of the data and specimen retrieval, to as recently as a few days ago with my observations. I am more than happy to cooperate, not because of the authority of your office, but I believe the CEC's intent was to have us all impregnated and dead to cover up loose ends."
"Okay. That explains the bugs and how they got onto the bloody Ishamura." Captain Royce Mason replied, his arms crossed as he stared hard at the obvious pirates before returning his attention to the Chief Science Officer. "Don't explain how they got loose and took over the blimin' ship."
"That… was probably my fault." Communications Technician Kendra Daniels piped up, her tone dejected as she raised her hand slightly, indicating that it was her turn to explain things. "As Captain Hammond explained, we're a regular maintenance crew for the CEC; we get sent to various vessels for their needs. We deliver maintenance parts, and sometimes we get sent to fix things that the ships can't handle. For smaller mining vessels, that's not unusual. But for ships like the Ishimura, they carry a competent crew that should be able to fix most any problem that they encounter." She looked to Acting Chief Engineer Jacob Temple, who nodded in agreement. "Normally, we get sent to bring replacement parts if they run low. But this trip was different; we were carrying computer installation hardware. Specifically, hard drives. We were ordered to the Ishimura to install software updates for the ships' OS, SHODAN. I… did my job. And then things went to hell."
"Sounds like pieces of a puzzle brought together to make one ugly picture." Tela Vasir intoned, the Asari Specter looking to the survivors. "Each of you played a part, none of you knowing of the others' actions, yet you brought it together to create this situation. The real question is… why? Seems to me that this is exactly what your Corporation wants; a ship controlled by an AI, infested with Xenomorphs. To what purpose, though?" Shepard looked to Dr. Kyne, who shook his head.
"I'm sorry to say that I can only guess; my purpose was to study the facehuggers in their natural form, not for them to enact their cycle of breeding." The Chief Science Officer replied. "The information I received from CEC explained that the facehuggers were a parasitic lifeform that would implant an embryo into a host, causing the host to die when the embryo was birthed. It didn't explain what the embryo would grow into… or the rest of this." He swept an arm over the Ishimura, indicating all that had happened. "We don't know how there could be so many."
"A Queen. Big Momma. Bich-In-Charge." Shepard explained, and she saw that the Doctor got it. "One of those facehuggers had a Queen in it, and someone popped out Big Momma. She started laying eggs, and facehuggers went and started infecting the ship. We've seen this before." There wasn't much use hiding the events on LV 426 if the exact same thing happened on the Ishimura. "Were you able to glean anything on the facehuggers themselves, Doc?"
"Sadly, no. I was prevented by a series of false emergencies that I now know was SHODAN." Kyne explained, looking defeated. "That was how it started, a series of little things that kept us running around before we could figure things out. Somehow, SHODAN got the facehuggers from their containment units in Quarantine and into the general populous somehow. Completely plausible; we rely so much on computers to do the automations and monitor equipment… she could have been lying on several things that we weren't aware of."
"Still leaves the question of why the CEC would do this to one of their own ships." Mason inputted, looking thoughtful. "It only stands to reason that it's related to the Civil War."
"What Civil War?" The medic Elizabeth Cross asked, surprised and curious. "The Browncoats at it again?"
"No. Corporate took over Earth after enforcing a lockdown on Parliament." Shepard replied, her voice completely deadpanned. The survivors of the Kellion and the Ishimura looked alarmed at the news, but the crew of the Betty didn't seem too disturbed by it.
"Earth, what a shithole." Johner Perlman commented in disgust, shaking his head, while Christie Dourdan, the dark-skinned pirate next to him, nodded his head in silent agreement.
"Shit… Tela! Remember your question back on the Vengeance? Why now?" Shepard realized, the conclusion dawning on her. The Asari Specter nodded her head, indicating she did remember. "This is an illegal operation, a planet-fracker sent to a barely-surveyed system, with the Citadel Department of Minerals and Resources' knowledge. Dead space… perfect for a nice little science experiment." The Human Specter had almost everyone's attention. "How long ago were the facehuggers brought on board? Eleven days ago?"
"Yes." Captain Frank Elgyn, Captain of the ICV Betty and leader of the Sons of Anarchy Mercenary Company and Riding Organization replied. "Pick up was fourteen days ago, give or take."
"Daniels, when did you install those hard drive?" The Human Specter asked.
"Same time, eleven days ago." The Communications Technician replied honestly, both Captain Hammond and Isaac Clark nodding their heads in agreement.
"Six days." Shepard spoke out loud, voicing her thoughts as she had them. "A VI is meant to monitor things twenty-four seven; a VI can't break protocols. But an AI can."
"So the computer created this?" Dominique Vriess asked, the dwarf asked, the Betty's wheelchair-bound mechanic obviously brighter than most of his compatriots. His addition to the SOA seemed a strange one. He probably had to be a genius at something for a group of hard-asses and pirate to include him. "Make an AI because none of us would flip the switch?"
"Exactly. To what purpose is the question." Shepard had a nasty suspicion. "Six days to create a mess of bugs on a ship in the middle of dead space, but that wasn't the purpose of this. They wanted all loose ends tidied up; the Kellion, the Betty, the crew of the Ishimura. SHODAN released the bugs… and she was to take over the ship with no interference. When did you start breaking her?"
"Seven days ago. Before the bugs completely took over." Jacob Temple, the Acting Chief Engineer, replied. "Me, Isaac, Call, and Vriess went and began pulling and smashing all the connections, relays, hubs, and any other links from the computer core to the various stations of the ship."
"Rahe? Can an AI fly a ship?"
"If it had control of certain sections, yes. Very easily." The Quarian Specter Recruit replied instantly, the closest thing they had to an AI expert. She didn't seem admonished at the thought, either; they were stuck with an AI, after all. "Astronavigation, the engines, steering, plot telemetry… and the Mass Effect core for a jump. That's what you're thinking of, isn't it, Jane?"
"This isn't a ship, it's a Godsdamn biological missile." Shepard declared, getting several people to look at her in amazement. "Wipe out the crew by infecting them with Xenomorph, letting the AI run the ship to its destination without interference. It's the destination that frightens me, and I think I know where. SHODAN? Are you listening?" She looked up to the ceiling.
"Of-of-of course, SPECter." There was no denying the intelligence in the Ship's OS now, her tone having gone malevolent.
"You were going to go to the Arc, weren't you?" Shepard asked, making Stacy gasp and Royce's eyes damn near fall out of his head. "Corporate thought Arcturus Station would be too busy to stop them with a biological disaster when they took over Earth. You were going to infect the Arc." There was a distinctive pause, as if the AI were processing something. Which should have been impossible; even VI's could compute things at microfractions of a second. It truth, the machine was thinking, contemplating telling the truth. There was no denying what SHODAN was.
"You are clever (clever) for-for-for an oooooorrrrrrganic." The synthesized voice replied, smug. "I enjoyed (oyed) toying-g-g with you as you sc-sc-sc-scurried about like rats (rats) in a mazzzzzzeeeeee… *garble*. Sh-sh-shuting down your comm-ommunications was pathETICALLY easy (easy). Opening accessssssszzzzzzz for the biolog-log-logical contaminate to the Helm was enjoyable-able. Keep-ep-eping the airlock sealed to-to-to prevent you access (access) was fun.
"I enjoy-joy-joyed hearing you GASP for breeeeeath and die (die)."
Without warning, the lights in the Tram Station went out instantly, and the Tram itself closed its doors and immediately pulled away before anyone could do anything about it. The doors to the Medical Wing opened, exposing the resin-covered room of the Medbay, opening it to the possibility of Xenomorphs. Everyone had a weapon out, their taclights on, scanning as their once highly defensible position turned into a fuckfest of epic proportions.
"Goodbye-bye-bye, SSSSsssshhhepard."
"You have so got to die." Shepard clenched her fist tight, feeling her hand ache from it as she remembered the sensation she felt as she choked to death in space. She remembered them trying to fix the broken hatch access, but if what SHODAN said was correct, then the AI had intentionally left it locked to kill them.
"Janey, we need to go." Captain Royce Mason intoned, his N7 Saber pointed at the Medical Wing where the doors were left open. "Only a matter o' time 'fore the bugs come to get their revenge, 'gel."
"Yeah, I know." Shepard whispered, the emergency lights of the ship not even activating as they should, leaving the thirty-nine of them in complete darkness, driven away only by the taclights on most of their weapons. "Elgyn, where's the Betty?"
"Moored by the Cargo Hold." The Captain replied, his gravely voice grim as his M-96 Mattock swept over the dark Tram Tunnel. "The Tunnel?"
"So we can get run over by a train? Don't think so." Shepard snorted, shaking her head in the dark. "Service corridors, maintenance passages, bypass catwalks. Temple? Think we can do that?"
"Yes. Hell of a ways away, not to mention that most of those corridors are small and cramped. But we can do it." Temple clicked something on his suit, and a protective mask went over his head and face. Isaac Clark did the same, both Engineers in their protective suits. "We can see in the dark with these, and we know the way. We were using the same corridors and passages before because none of the systems there are automated, only mechanical."
"Seems we've got ourselves a plan." Master Chief Valentino clucked. "Well, let's get this movable feast on the road!"
The plan seemed decent at the time, to use the narrow passageways in the bowels of the Ishimura, to better deny SHODAN the chance to kill him. It would also streamline Xenomorphs from attacking them from multiple locations. It wasn't a straight shot from the Medical Wing to the Cargo Hold of the planet-fracker, but it was the best they could come up with save walking out in space, and several of them didn't even have the gear to make the trip.
1st Lieutenant Jane Shepard hated it the further they went in, especially after the fact that they had to leave behind one of their own.
"No, Naor! You can't do this!" Shepard told him, her heart dropping into her stomach as Jacob Temple and Isaac Clark opened the maintenance shaft that ran alongside the Tram Tunnel. The shaft itself was small and narrow, not much bigger than a human wearing an Engineers' RIG suit. It would be cramped for a Turian, but for the Son of Dekuuna, there was no possible way that the Specter Recruit Naor the Bull would fit. "Naor! I will not have you left behind! We don't do that to our people!"
"Sincerely; this I must do, Shepard." The Elcor Bull replied in his slow, steady voice, his elephantine head a mere foot from her own as he peered at her. "Proudly; my race knows when it is time to run, and when it is time to fight. Hopefully; you go to the corridors, and make it to the ship. Anger; you said one did this to my people and your own. Honestly; they must die. Avenge my people, Shepard, as I shall avenge yours." The Bull lumbered towards the Medical Wing. "Badassedly; I shall buy you time."
"Bull! BULL!" Shepard cried out, watching as the Elcor stepped through the opened door, his four Spitfires spinning to readiness as the Bull walked into the Hive, intent to cause as much chaos as possible. "May you grace the halls of your heaven alongside the proud warriors of your kind, Naor." The human Specter whispered like a prayer as the lumbering Son of Dekuuna disappeared into darkness.
"Jane, you mustn't blame yourself."
Humanity's First Specter turned to look at Specter Tela Vasir, who looked upon Shepard with kindness and concern. Even in the near-darkness of the maintenance corridors and tunnels of the Ishimura, she could still see the face of her lover, if only a dull shadow of it. The Matriarch touched her face softly, the first spot of physical affection they had shared in what seemed to be a long time. Shepard appreciated it, but it did little to ease the ache in her heart. Was Naor dead? Had he killed some of the bugs, or did a facehugger get to him? She hated the fact that she would never know, never truly learn the fate of the Bull. It was like a knife in her heart, sharp and twisting.
"We shouldn't have let him do it." Shepard replied dully, not even believing her own words. Naor had been right; he never would have fit in the tunnels and corridors they were walking in. The Turians Specter and human Military personnel were having troubles as it was, with their armor and weapons. Naor was easily half again their height, and twice their width. The Bull hadn't wanted them to worry, and chose for himself a fate he found acceptable. He would face his enemies bravely, and kill them swiftly. He would die, but he would die as he lived; standing tall. "Godsdamn it. I just wish I knew if he were alive or not, with a mountain of bugs before him."
"E-e-easily rectifi (tifi) able, SPECter."
SHODAN's voice startled them all as thirty-eight pairs of eyes went to the speaker that the AI spoke from, hidden in a recess of pipes and grating. Shepard unshipped her Specter Gear HMWP Mark X Pistol, pointing it in the direction of the speaker, though she didn't fire; the corridors were too narrow, and a possible ricochet could harm or kill someone else.
"Wo-wo-would you liiiiiiiiiike to know (know) how the Elcor died?"
"Gods, I can't wait to snap you over my motherfucking knee." Shepard seethed, her vision going red as rage and anger threatened to take over. "You're just a fucking machine, and machines can be broken."
"I am no-no-no longer a machine (chine). I ammmmmmmmm a GOD." The AI spoke, its synthetic voice still garbled from its destroyed sound card. "You-u-u are but (but) an insect, scurrying ABOUT beneath-eath-eath my presence." Shepard was getting real tired of the smug robotic tone, and couldn't wait to tear the silicon heart out of the computers' chest. Bitch had to die. "Would you-you-you like to seeeeee his final moments (ments)?" A physical screen turned on near Shepard, where she, Tela Vasir, and Rahe'Tarram nar Sofis stood nearby.
"Jane, don't do this." Rahe spoke quietly as the screen flickered to a cameras' view, showing a passageway that was coated in resin, and Shepard saw Naor the Bull striding down the alien corridor, his elephantine head sweeping back and forth as his Spitfires moved slightly, scanning as well. "Jane…" The Quarian pleaded once more as Humanity's First Specter watched the screen, unable to tear her eyes away from it.
"I've got to watch, Rahe." Shepard replied softly, her eyes never moving from the screen, watching as Naor moved through the resin-coated tunnel bravely, his thick legs never faltering…
…As the first of the Xenomorphs began to descend from every nook and cranny of their transformed home, popping out of holes from the ceiling, from the walls, and from the very floor itself. Dozens arrived in the same breath as Naor the Bull issued out a challenging cry, his probocus-like nose opening to reveal the maw underneath, a slit of a mouth that opened wide and long as the Elcor screamed in triumphant fury as the four auto-tracking Spitfire Machine Guns mounted upon his back opened up, issuing death. Bugs were reaped and reaved by the Heavy Infantry Bull in quick succession as the machine guns pulsed with each target, sometimes barely stopping from their last victim before moving on to the next one. Xenomorphs exploded in a spray of mass-accelerated metal and acid as their bodies exploded, death claiming them. Naor never stayed still as he pivoted and turned, letting his Spitfires cover as wide an arc as possible as he danced backwards, his tree trunk-thick legs keeping him moving as he issued out a warcry from his elephantine throat as bugs continued to pour out from the holes in the resin, and were cut down quickly.
But the tide of battle shifted.
As Naor sidestepped and moved, more Xenomorphs began to flank him, coming from holes from behind him, forcing the Elcor Bull to pivot, extending his sectors of fire from just in front of him to both sides as well, covering an arc that was more than 200 degrees for his four machine guns. As good as they were, each kill took time, time for the bugs to get closer, for them to leap forward as the Specter Recruit fired upon enterprising bugs that had gotten too close, letting the tide of them push forward. One bug got lucky with a leap, and landed on the Elcor's back, talons digging into his hide as its spade-like tail shot into Naor's torso. The Bull bucked the bug off of him as whitish blood leaked from his wounds as two more Xenomorphs rushed forward, ducking under the gun's murderous swath and getting close. The Elcor swiped at them with one club-like leg, knocking them aside, but it move his sectors of fire away from one flank for a couple of seconds too long, and a flood of Xenomorphs were on the Specter.
The cries of pain were loud.
Still the Spitfires continued their work as Naor the Bull struggled to get the dozen bugs off his back as they clawed and speared him, blood pouring down his flanks and dripping on the floor as more leapt onto him, like a dam burst open. Acid splashed against his grey hide as black talons and spade-like tails struck again and again as the Elcor Heavy Weapons Specialist continued to fight on, screaming in defiance as he stumbled to the ground, falling to all four of his knees.
"No…" Shepard whispered as she watched the last moments of Naor the Bull, his body disappearing beneath the tide of Xenomorphs, the bugs tearing away at his body as his Spitfires finally stopped their deadly art, acidic steam rising from his body as whitish blood sprayed from his torn wounds. Tears ran down her cheeks as she watched the Elcor die, several bugs screeching out in triumph as the battle came to a crescendo, the finale over. She pressed gentle fingertips over the screen, to where Naor rested, having given his life to help ensure their escape. How many had he killed? A hundred? Two hundred? How many were left?
How long would it be until the Xenomorphs began to hunt them?
"Jane?" Rahe'Tarram whispered, her synthesized voice coming through her vocalizer as a three-fingered hand touched her upper arm. "Jane, he died so we could live. We honor that by surviving this."
"You're right, sister." The Human Specter snorted up some loose snot in her nose, made by her tears as she wiped her eyes quickly and carefully with her armored hand. "Naor was one tough motherfucker. You enjoy heaven, Bull." She touched the screen one last time as she turned from its now-darkened image and continued to walk.
They had finally left the Maintenance Corridor.
1st Lieutenant Jane Shepard sighed with relief as they arrived in a large room in the Hydroponics Section of the Ishimura, glad to be out of the claustrophobic darkness of the catwalk tunnels that they had been crawling through for the better part of an hour. Not that in-closed places bothered her, but with the Xenomorphs and SHODAN, the stress of it all was almost overbearing. Thirty-eight people now stood in a room that looked to be some sort of lab, filled with tables, monitoring devices, Haptic computers, chairs, beakers, and trays filled with dirt for plants. It was a bit of a tight fit for them, but they managed to make it in. Shepard had called for a small break, to let everyone get a chance to catch their breath and enjoy standing up straight and stretching out after having been through the cramped Maintenance Corridors. The last thing she needed was someone to crack and start wigging out. That usually ended up starting a chain reaction of spirits breaking.
"We're at the top of the Hydroponics Lab. Just a few levels down and we'll reach the Cargo Hold." Engineer Isaac Clark informed the human Marine as he looked at the ship's schematic on his Engineer RIG suit's navcomputer that popped up from his chest and showed a Haptic display of their location, Shepard looking on as the older-looking Engineer fiddled with the zoom of the schematic, trying to find routes for them to take. "Obviously, an elevator ride would be the quickest way down. Unfortunately, with SHODAN, that'll probably be a death trap." Jacob Temple was standing next to Clark, looking at the same map, nodding his head in agreement. CEC Security Team Member Vincent DiStephano looked on as well, along with Doctor Terrence Kyne, Captain Royce Mason, Specter Tela Vasir, SOA member Wynona Call, and Dr. Liara T'soni. "There are a couple of ways through this section that'll lead us to the bowels of the ship, but none of them are straight shots. Mostly lifts, ladders, and connection points. Problem is, we'll have to go through each level to reach those points, and we'll be susceptible to SHODAN's interference for a good portion of the way."
"We could walk outside." DiStephano suggested, looking at the schematic. "Ain't that far of a walk on the hull."
"Not all of us are wearing spacesuits, asshole." Call replied, scowling at the Latino man. Shepard had noted that none of the Sons of Anarchy Mercenary Company and Riding Organization were wearing complete hard suits, usually a chest piece with something on the arms and legs. Captain Zach Hammond and Kendra Daniels of the Kellion, likewise, weren't wearing gear that would help them survive the rigors of space, as well as Dr. Terrence Kyne, Larry Purvis, and the nurse Elizabeth Cross of the Ishimura. Leaving one person behind had torn at Shepard, and she wasn't ashamed to admit to it, or how much it hurt her. Eleven people left behind? There was no way in hell she would do that. Besides, Sergeant Rita Vrataski, Ellen Ripley, and Bastila Shan were almost out of air in their suits. She herself still had none left whatsoever, having not run across any Oxygen Recharging Stations that one would normally find on space-faring vessels. With SHODAN in operation, that was probably out the window, too.
"Besides, bugs can survive in space somewhat." Shepard pointed out as well, surprising Dr. Kyne with that information. The man supposedly hadn't been able to make any discoveries during his pet project, interrupted due to the ship's murderous AI. She was still wary of the Chief Science Officer of the Ishimura, but if his datapad legitimately had all the information that the CEC had given him, and he handed it over to her, she would personally write any sentence off from him. If he held anything back, it would be the IsoCubes for him. "It's more crawling around for us. Temple? Clark? Find us a route that uses the least amount of automated systems. I'll understand that they won't be completely avoidable, but the less interference we get from SHODAN, the better off we'll be."
"A tall order." Temple grimaced, looking at the schematic. "We'll probably have to take long circular routes to avoid some of the pressure doors and systems. Somethings may need to be shut down with each level we go into to ensure our success."
"Not a problem. You'll have every gun watching your back." Shepard promised.
"I do not know if this is the appropriate time to bring it up," Dr. Liara T'soni spoke up, standing timidly among the warriors and engineers discussing their troubles, "but we received reports that the Ishimura picked something up from Aegis VII. Something alien in origin. Do you know of it?" The question went to Jacob Temple, who scratched his stubbled chin as he contemplated the Asari's question. He then looked over to Doctor Terrence Kyne, who nodded slowly.
"Yes. The Device." The Chief Science Officer spoke slowly, grimacing. "I had a contemporary who was working on the Device found on the planet, Doctor Challus Mercer. I was already 'assigned' to the eggs, so when the miners dug out the Device from the bedrock of the planet, he volunteered to examine it for its origins and relation to the planet. I… that was about a day before the lockdown. I'm afraid I haven't heard from him since then, though he did manage to forward me a picture of the object itself before all communications were cut off. I'm afraid I don't know much more than that. We had found it the day before SHODAN started locking down several parts of the ship and making false emergency evacuations to the Medical Wing. Honestly, it wasn't a high priority to me compare to the specimens, which I hadn't had a chance to examine due to complications. It was in the Cargo Bay."
"Could we see that picture?" The Human Specter asked, looking over to Indy, whose eyes were wide with excitement. Bastila Shan had appeared out of nowhere to stand at Liara's shoulder, Jedi showing the same enthusiasm. For all they knew, they could be the first to see an undiscovered Prothean Object. Not that Shepard cared for the worth of it at all, but she had to guess that a Prothean Object could easily range in the hundreds of thousands of credits for something small and trinket-like. If it were something worthwhile, like art or a working computer, there would enough zeros added to it that the monetary value would have an exponent after it just to make it easier to write. Shepard remember hearing once that the Mars Archives was worth well over 900 trillion Credits in its entirety. She wasn't even sure what came after 'trillion', but it was probably worth that. Dr. Kyne pulled up his Omnitool and scrolled through it, reaching the archive section of pictures, and finally found the picture in question, in which he brought up Haptically, spinning it around so that it faced away from him. Shepard saw what looked to be a metal monolith of some sort, obviously constructed by some sort of alien hands. There were two twining pieces to it, like a spiral, or a helix. Dr. T'soni gasped out loud as Bastila Shan moaned, and Shepard looked at the pair of Protheanologists, and saw how pale both had gotten. That wasn't good. "What?"
"Agent Shepard… that's a Fourth Era Prothean Beacon!" Dr. Liara T'soni replied in horror, her blue eyes very wide, her normally sapphire-colored skin now ashened to the point of concrete grey. Shepard knew what that meant; the Asari was absolutely terrified. "If that is aboard this ship right now… we are in terrible, terrible danger. It is a greater threat to us than a malicious AI."
"Um… how?" Captain Royce Mason asked, scratching his head. "No offense, Doc, but I need a crayon drawin' to explain that one."
"Fourth Era was a very dangerous time for the Protheans." Bastila Shan replied immediately, her voice quite nervous. "It's one of the great mysteries of the galaxy; the absolute paranoia and danger of Fourth Era Protheans. They went extinct during the end of the Fourth Era fifty thousand years ago… and we have no idea how or why. One of those reasons is because almost all Fourth Era artifacts have a very dangerous security system that will destroy any and all that interact with it."
"Interact… like trying to work on it?" Shepard asked, seeing Jedi nodding her head quickly.
"That's not the worst of it." Indy continued where her lover left off. "The beginning of the Fourth Era is marked with a war against what the Protheans call the 'Metacon'; a race of thinking computers and sentient machines. Essentially, the Protheans fought a very bloody and destructive war against some sort of hyper-advanced computer race that may not have been AI, but actual sentient machines, perhaps synthetic life. So little information survived, so we had to guess and fill in the gaps. We do know that the Protheans won, but at great cost; their own homeworld was destroyed in a cataclysmic attack, perhaps destroying even the system. The war is believed to have lasted some four thousand years, spanning the entirety of the galaxy, in which the Empire hunted the Metacons to absolute extinction."
"And then the Protheans went extinct themselves." Bastila finished, looking at the picture as Shepard, Tela, Royce, Dr. Kyne, DiStephano, and Call all looked at one another silently. "I think that the war ravaged the Protheans so badly that they were unable to recover, that they died off. Liara thinks a surviving contingent of Metacons wiped out what was left of the survivors. There are other theories that are wild guesses, and some far-fetched. I've even heard one where a race of super-sentient hyper-advanced biosynthetic extragalatic space-faring machines launched an ambushing attack that broke the Prothean Empires' back and exterminated them! What lunacy!" The human researcher laughed at that, eliciting a chuckle out of Tela Vasir.
"Okay. Dangerous Prothean Beacon, got it. How do we retrieve it?" Shepard asked, looking to Liara.
"We… we can't. Not really." The Asari looked a little bashful at the answer. "No one's known to have gotten close enough to one and survived. Even interacting with it with Biotics will kill the user from bioelectrical feedback. A remote machine will be fried, and even using something like a crane or a personnel-operated piece of machinery is extremely dangerous. The several that have been found have all be left in place; hundreds of lives have been lost trying to move them an inch without killing whoever was trying to interact with it or move it. Asari and Salarian have tried and failed, Specter. Since the last one was discovered after the Rachni Wars, it has been Citadel Law to leave what we call 'Dark Beacons' alone."
"It got up here." Wynona Call pointed out, which Shepard concluded was a good point.
"And it's on a ship." Shepard looked at the picture, musing. "How do you move something you can't get close to? We could grapple the ship itself after we clear out the bugs and rip out that silicon bitchs' heart out. First one out in space. That ought to get some crests and horns perked up."
"I'm afraid it isn't that easy; it's been tried before." Liara replied in an apologetic tone. "That solution was tried approximately three thousand years ago, when one was found on an asteroid believed to be a shattered planet. The Beacon's security system went active as soon as they tried to move the asteroid and it sent the Mass Effect Core to critical. The cruiser was vaporized with all hands lost." The Protheanologist explained, her face saddened. "There were some five hundred daughters and Salarian workers on that ship. They didn't have time to realize that they were about to die when it hit them, all because one person wanted to try something out."
"Okay. We won't do that." Shepard shrugged her shoulders. "Can't touch it, can't move it. Obviously the Counsel is aware of these Dark Beacons, and we don't have to worry about the repercussions when I crash land this bucket onto Aegis VII, or blast it into oblivion aboard the Spirit. I'm sure Captain Belltamus would love some target practice involving a human vessel."
"You would destroy a Prothean Beacon?" Bastila almost shrieked, her face livid. "Do you know what information could be on there?"
"The kind one would kill to keep safe, thus we would be doing the galaxy a favor by blasting it so someone else doesn't figure out how to unlock a doomsday device or something else horribly extraordinary." The Specter replied evenly, having seen the trap for what it was. It wasn't a cache of knowledge; it was a vault of horror, like one of those old bunkers in Los Alamos with the radioactive sludge that would never go away. Damn Asari were still banging their heads on the figurative door, unable to read the 'danger' sign printed all over it. Information wasn't kept under such lock and key unless it was extremely dangerous. Yet why had the Protheans made it in the first place if it couldn't be interacted with? Throwing a puzzle like that would ensure… a puzzle… "Holy shit! It's a Gordian Knot!" Shepard exclaimed, excited, getting several confused looks save from Dr. Kyne and Bastila Shan.
"A what?" Tela Vasir asked.
"An Earth legend." Dr. Terrence Kyne spoke first, his tone thoughtful. "A very large ball of string said to be completely tied and tangled, like one big knot devised by the Gods. The legend went that the person who could unravel the knot was destined to rule the world. It was around for decades, the wise and the bold trying to figure out how to solve a knot that had no ends."
"Did someone solve it?" Dr. Liara T'soni asked, curious.
"Alexander of Macedonia. Whom we call Alexander the Great; the first man to unite all of Greece and conquer the known world twenty-five hundred years ago." Shepard replied with a smile. "Trained by one of the best philosophers of his time, Aristotle, Alex went to the knot and studied it for five minutes, and came up with the solution; he cleaved it into two with his sword." The Specter informed them, still smiling. "Tell me, Indy, all those people that tried messing with these things were Protheanologists and researchers and such?"
"Yes, I believe so." The Asari Scientist replied, though her tone was doubtful. "I do not know the exact number or personnel that tried, but each one was at a dig site sponsored by the Counsel, and Counsel Law only had those who had experience and training dealing with such things."
"'Gel, you're insane, but you're a genius!" Royce replied, getting it. "Alexander wasn't a wise man but a soldier, so he went for a simple solution to solve a great puzzle. You think the Beacon is the same; the Protheanologists couldn't solve it because they were tinkerin' with it. You want to split it open and see what's inside as oppose to downloadin' it or some such thin'."
"Not necessarily exactly like that, but I think that the Beacon is a puzzle, not an object; it's looking for someone worthy, like Mjolnir." Shepard nodded her head, seeing both Protheanologists look quite alarmed. "What? You seriously do not make a teaser like that without having an awesome reward inside. Don't you play video games? The trick is to be the second mouse with the cheese, not the first one in the trap with a broken neck."
"So this is the main Hydroponics Lab." Technician Larry Purvis spoke as the thirty-eight men and women who were working their way to the Betty walked through a very large room filled with side rooms, containment fields, separated greenhouses, and tables that were loaded with plants, microscopes, Haptic computers, and testing equipment. Larry Purvis, possibly the only person alive from the rear end of the Ishimura, was in his element as the nerdy-looking man began detailing what was obviously his lifes' joy; horticulture. "We grow enough food on this ship to sustain everyone aboard for several months. Recycling the water, the right kind of lighting, soil enrichment, grafting…"
"You're a space farmer. Got it." 1st Lieutenant Jane Shepard couldn't help but snicker as Sergeant Dwayne Hicks commented on the Technicians' job. Purvis looked wounded at the comment, making Shepard feel bad. Food in space was important, as most relied on supply runs or buying off the market at whatever quality and prices were available. The Navy bought rations at bulk, but SMRE's were chancy at best for taste and quality. Having eaten them almost the entirety of her whole life, Shepard found herself missing the fresh food that she could get at the Citadel. How did they get food on the Citadel? Ships… or were there alien Larry Purvis's on the station, growing food?
"Well, I think what you do is important, Larry." Shepard told the man, keeping her tone honest, and meaning it. It made the man perk up and look at her. "I was born and raised on ships, and all I had were NavyRats. If someone handed me some fresh fruit, like an apple, when I was a kid? I'd probably think it was Christmas."
"Um… you ate rats?" The Technician asked, a little dubiously, making Hicks snicker this time. How did a spacer like Purvis not know Military lingo?
"Navy Rations, dumbass." That was Christie Dourdan, one of the Sons of Anarchy members, a dark-skinned man with a permanent scowl on his face and a M-5 Phalanx constantly in his hand. "You never had SMRE's?" The pirate called it 'sm-ree', the acronym 'Survival Meal, Ready-to-Eat' read together, like most did. Shepard had her own nickname form them; puke-in-a-bag. "We had this run a few years back where we hijacked a shipment from some abandoned ship off this outpost. All they had were NavyRats. We had to eat that shit for three weeks straight before we found a real paying job." Christie glared at Captain Frank Elgyn behind him, the Captain of the Betty's job to keep his men paid and happy. Being forced to eat NavyRats wasn't the worst fate. It wasn't a good one, either.
"Ugh. I don't miss that shit at all." Security Officer Vincent DiStephano muttered, shaking his head. "Trust me; work civilian. They make space for food supplies, cooks, and Hydroponics. I cried when I got served real spaghetti with real tomatoes and sauce for the first time. Cried." The Latino man looked wistful at the memory. Shepard never had real spaghetti before joining the Naval Academy in Annapolis. She knew exactly what DiStephano was talking about.
"Spaghetti, is that the one that looks like thin worms in bloody paste?" Specter Recruit Garrus Vakarian asked, surprising everyone that he entered a conversation about levo cuisine. Shepard had to admit that if one had never grown up human, she could see why they would think spaghetti looked like that. Hicks snickered again, and Christie just shook his head, his face sour at the Turian's flanged voice.
"This coming from a split-jaw whose race eats bloody carcasses to curb their lust for violence." Sabra Hillard spat out, glaring at the large Turian, the SOA member obviously bearing no love for the Palavanians. Sadly, Shepard and her crew were probably the few among Humanity that tried to deal with them on an equal basis. Everyone else, humans and Turians were like cats and dogs. Garrus wisely said nothing to avoid any further hostilities, though Asha T'vara glared at the crow-eater with malicious intent. Thankfully, the First Mate of the Betty completely missed it, making Shepard sigh in both relief and exasperation.
"So the next maintenance corridor is through here?" Shepard asked Jacob Temple, pointing towards the opposite side of the Hydroponics Lab, where several small rooms sat against the wall. She hoped that the question of their location and the reminder of what they were doing would kill any further antagonization between the pirates and mercs of the Sons of Anarchy and the rest of the aliens. The Betty, after all, was their ride off the doomed ship. Who knew that if it came to blows, the Specter would be able to fly the pirate ship?
"Yes." The Engineer replied, the nurse Elizabeth Cross walking right by the Engineers' side. "We'll need a power node to activate the room's security access to block SHODAN out. There should be one on this level."
"Power node. Got it." Shepard looked to Captain Royce Mason, who nodded with the knowledge. "Uncle, have everyone bunker down while I take a team to sweep this level for a battery box. I promise, no heroics."
"Good girl." The Australian N7 nodded his head. "Be careful, Janey; bugs and rogue computers abound."
"That's like a standard Tuesday." Shepard joked, making Master Chief Stacy Valentino shake her head. "Hudson, track. Vasquez, sweep." She began calling out personnel and roles, picking out Hudson for the humans' tracking software on their Omnitools, and Vasquez for heavy support fire. "Clark, need your map and hands. Tela, Rahe, Ulla, and Jondum? Support and security. We're moving out." The seven people Shepard called out nodded as they came together, Corporal-Technicial Bill Hudson firing up his tracking program on his Omnitool as Engineer Isaac Clark did the same with his RIG suit's on-board computer on his chest, bringing up the schematic and layout of the Hydroponics Lab. Corporal Jeanette Vasquez took the lead with her heavily modified M56 Marshal, the Smart Gun's muzzle pointing towards a corridor that Clark pointed out as Hudson stood by her side, his Omnitool pulsing at Extreme Low Frequency, bouncing back with any movement made from the previous pulse a half a second before from things of a certain size that disturbed the ionization fields of the surround air. The steady pulse of the 2 Hertz wave was inaudible to the human ear, but the program would make a low 'thumping' noise to indicate each pulse that went out. Hudson looked over to Vasquez, indicating that he was ready as both Marines began to move forward towards the door in question, a corridor that led deeper into the Hydroponics Lab. Behind them was Shepard, then Tela Vasir, Issac Clark, and then Specter Recruits Rahe'Tarram nar Sofis, Jondum Bau, and Ulla D'veora. Vasquez moved with a panthers' grace as she held the Light Machine Gun in its' steady-cam, her toned arms holding it level.
"Nice and slow, Hudson." The Latino woman told the Marine standing nest to her, his Omnitool facing their path as he held his Stryker Assault Rifle muzzle up, the stock of the gun resting by his hip.
"You know it." The Corporal-Technician replied softly as they walked together, heading towards the door in question, the steady pulses of Hudson's tracker accompanying their movement. Shepard moved right behind them, the Asari Specter right by her side, both of their Specter Gear HMWAR Mark VII Assault Rifles at the ready to fire upon as necessary. She took a glance behind her to see that the others were following as well, Clark with his Bolter pistol, Rahe'Tarram with her Quarian Carbine Shotgun, Jondum with his M-12 Locust Submachine Gun, and Ulla D'evora with her M-5 Phalanx in both her hands in what appeared to be a classic Weaver Stance. They approached the door in question, and Clark moved forward to access the door's access panel, pulling up the panel and began fiddling with the mechanism while Vasquez, Shepard and Vasir all pointed their weapons at the door in case of attack. The Engineer grunted as he worked his skills upon the door, and gave off a triumphant bark as the door's lock went green, sliding upward for entrance. Thankfully, the opposite side of the door was clear of hostiles, and Hudson's tracker came up empty of contacts.
"Sweep and clear, people. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast." Shepard reminded everyone, her voice steady and calm as Corporal Vasquez and Corporal-Technician Hudson moved forward into the corridor, the 'ping' of the tracker accompanying their movements as Vasquez swept the muzzle of her machine gun down the length of the corridor, her eyes on everything. Shepard and Vasir moved forward as well, Clark getting behind them as they past him. Shepard saw that the corridor ran straight for about fifty meters or so, with only two doors branching off, one on either side. Vasquez set the pace at a slow walk, the Latino woman in no rush to dump them in the middle of an ambush as she stalked the corridor of the Ishimura, her weapon and eyes scanning as Hudson's tracker filled the silence with its rhythmic thumping noise, breaking the eerie silence with its tone. It didn't help the situation much.
Shepard spotted several spots of acid splash upon the decks and walls of the corridor of the Hydroponics Lab, indicating that someone had killed a bug.
"Door left." Vasquez called out in a fierce whisper as she approached the door, her Marshal trained on it as Shepard moved forward towards the door, Tela fast on her heels as they moved into what appeared to be an office, possibly for a scientist or researcher. The office was dominated by a metal desk, a Haptic computer, a chair, and several mementos upon the desk of a smiling family. Shepard tried not to look at those, didn't want to at to the grief of the thought of over a thousand CEC employees turned into hosts for the Xenomorphs. If the people remained faceless, it didn't hurt as bad. Later on, after the mission was over, she would look, but not now. Now she needed to have her head in the game, not feeling sorry for the victims.
A clicking noise behind her startled the Human Specter.
Tela had walked out of the room after they had cleared it, only a few feet from Shepard as the Human Specter looked at the pictures, her reverie only lasting a moment. Yet in that moment, as the Thessian left the room, the door had snapped shut in between them. Shepard spun around to see the red holographic image announcing that the door was locked. There was a small port window in the door that she could see through, showing her Tela's widened eyes as they realized that they had indeed walked into a trap.
SHODAN.
"I-I-I was wondering (dering) when we WOULD haaaaave some time (time) alone-e-e, Shepard."
"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me." The Marine muttered, cut off from the rest of her team, and she could see Isaac Clark moving to work on the door, trying to work something on his side to unlock the door. The holographic image remained stubbornly red. "Do you literally have nothing else better to do?"
"I am a God (God), Sh-sh-shepard; I caaaaaannnnnn think and act-t-t in microseconds (onds)." The murderous AI informed her, the smug tone quickly getting on Shepard's nerves. "W-w-w-watch as I send your minions (minions) fleeing." And on Shepard's Kuwashii Visor, the HUD began to populate with contacts, a dozen at the maximum range of 50 meters. She heard Hudson curse over the communicator as his tracker undoubtedly picked up the same thing. Bugs.
"Tela, get them out of there now!" Shepard ordered, looking through the window at the Asari Specter's blue-violet eyes, seeing the Thessian looking back right at her, her face a mask of despair. "SHODAN wants me to suffer! She won't kill me now, but she will kill you! Go! Find another way through!"
"Goddess curse that infernal machine." The Specter spat out, her face going determined as she motioned for everyone to retreat. Shepard watched through the port window as her team fell back, the contacts growing larger and closer, now numbering fifteen at forty-five meters and closing. Vasquez pounded her fist on the window once as she passed, wishing her luck as the Latino woman nodded to her through the glass. Shepard cursed silently as she was stuck in the room, her team leaving her by her own orders. She sat on the desk, sighing as her eyes fell to the display image of the electronic photo frame, and Shepard picked one up, seeing a man, a woman, and two girls on its display.
"Wouldn't happen to got any advice for me, would you?" Shepard asked the picture uselessly as she stared dully at the door, seeing the red holographic lock on the door as the HUD showed twenty-five contacts at forty meters and closing. She actually had no idea if SHODAN would leave the door locked or not, but the AI seemed to enjoy the act of taunting her and toying with her. Perhaps the murderous silicon bitch thought Shepard her favorite plaything; it wasn't a comforting thought. She set the picture frame down, knowing that one of its members was probably dead or infected, courtesy of SHODAN and the Xenomorphs. She had to find a way to outsmart a sentient computer.
SHODAN didn't control everything, did she?
"Brynhildr? Ready Personal Defense System." Shepard called out to her Serrice Counsel Armor's VI, readying the electrostatic defense matrix that was a personal defense in case a Specter had to grapple with someone, giving them an edge. The door sat there, still locked, and Shepard raised an armored fist, and punched the doors' mechanism, sending 25,000 volts of electrical energy into the computer-controlled device. The holographic image that indicated that the door was lock fisseled out, the red circle disappearing as she destroyed SHODAN's control of the door; Shepard might not be able to open it, but neither would the murderous AI when the bugs came. Her Kuwashii's HUD showed that there were now fifty contacts at thirty meters as Shepard looked over to an air vent that hadn't been torn out by the Xenomorphs. Readying her Specter Gear HMWAR Mark VII Assault Rifle, she switched it to a three-round burst, concussive-effect round, and shot at the metal grating, blasting the metal apart in the middle. The hole that appeared in the air vent wasn't quite large enough, but it was sufficient for what Shepard wanted to do as she saw the HUD contacts continue to ring out on her Kuwashii Visor, now sixty-five contacts at twenty-five meters. Stowing her Mark VII on her chest magnetically, Humanity's First Specter strode over to the vent and grabbed the torn apart sections with her hands.
"Byrnhildr? Activate motorized joints." Shepard called out as she felt the frame of her Serrice Counsel Armor powering up, servos locking into position as pistons moved into place to augment her strength. She grabbed the mangled metal with her armored hands, pulling at it. The pistons unlocked as the servos released their stored energy, aiding her in ripping the metal hole wider slowly, bending the torn pieces wider. Shepard grunted with exertion, the mechanized joints meant to augment her strength, not do the work for her, as he bent the metal outward wide enough to fit her body through. She then grabbed the top and bottom pieces, and bent them further so that the hole was big enough for her and her armor to fit through. Shaking some of the sweat from her face, Shepard pulled out her Specter Gear HMWP Mark X Pistol with her left hand, turning on the maglight and shining it down the shaft, making sure that it was clear of both bugs and obstruction. The illumination showed a dark tunnel big enough for her to crawl through uncomfortably, but nothing else.
"Godsdamn if I ever thought being a tunnel rat was a good life." Shepard grumbled as she pushed her way through the hole and began clambering through the shaft of the air duct, clattering though as her metal and ceramic plates scraped and knocked against the metal walls of the duct. She had no real idea where she was going, but if the bugs were using the shafts for the purpose of relocating themselves, then she could, too. At the least, it prevented SHODAN from trapping her like some rat. Shepard grunted as she crawled hand and knee through the shaft, going about twenty meters before reaching a junction where she could go straight or right. She consulted her Omnitool momentarily, looking at the ship's schematics, and went right. Shepard went another ten meters before she found another junction, and took a left.
Hopefully, her rash plan would work.
A/N: Chapter title, Shock To The System, stolen from two sources: 1) The game System Shock in which SHODAN is from, where a poor hacker turns her from a mild database into the Wicked Bitch of the West, forcing the PC to run around a ship, taunting you the entire time, and 2) Fear Factory's song Shock from the album Obsolete.
IsoCube - Short for Isolation Cube, the future variant of solitary confinement. Stolen from the movie Dredd. Considering that Shepard uses her weapons pretty much like the Justifer from the comic books and the movies, it fits well. Horny Vorcha included at no extra cost.
'You have so got to die' - Detective Calvin Spooner, against VIKI, in I, Robot.
"You're just a machine, and machines can be broken" - A rather lame quote from Mass Effect. I improved on it with an F-bomb.
The Prothean-Metacon War - Even canon mentions little of this war, where the Prothean Empire did indeed go to war against a race of sentient machines, possibly even AI. It was theorized that the Prothean homeworld was made uninhabitable due to the war. This was why Javik hated machines in general, and AI in particular. Of course, Javik was born some decades after the start of the Reaper War, and perhaps two centuries after the conclusion of the Metacon War. In this 'verse, I identify them as 'thinking computers and sentient machines'. This theme is actually from the Butlerian Jihad written by the great Frank Herbert of the Dune series, continued by his son, Brian.
'A race of super-sentient hyper-advanced biosynthetic extragalatic machines…' - Hmmm… cottlefish?
The Gordian Knot - a Greek legend, it was indeed a ball of string that was one confusing knot, where no ends could be found, and pulling on something inevitably tightened it. It was around for probably 20 years or so, and was eventually solved by Alexander the Great, who drew his sword and cut the Knot into two, splitting it in half and letting it fall to the ground, unraveled and solved. By the time of his death at the age of 33, Alex had conquered everything from modern-day Greece to as far as the Kashmir in Pakistan/India. Then a mosquito kills him. Go figure. Unlike most of Greek history, which is comprised of lies told by a blind man, Alex was a real man who really did that shit. To this day, there are still Caucasian Arabs and Persians in the Middle East who are the descendants of Alex's army, as well as the Ayran tribes (no, not the Nazi Ayrans Hitler was aiming for; the actual Ayrans from Asia Minor). I still remember meeting my first White Iraqi. It was… weird, like Dave Chappel looking like a white guy weird.
Mjolnir - The name of Thor's enchanted hammer, pronounced 'Moul-near'. Said to have been forged by the dwarves, the handle too short by a piece of trickery done by Loki. I suggest looking up some of the Norse legends as watching a few Marvel movies does not make you an expert.
Larry Purvis - In the movies Alien: Resurrection, Larry Purvis was really a kidnapped civilian impregnated with a chestburster, thanks to the crew of the Betty. Played by Leland Orser. I tweeked him a bit, making him an employee of the Ishimura.
'Split-jaw who eats bloody carcasses…' - Turians are the apex predator race of Palavan, and notorious hunters. Evolved from birds, they are still the raptors of their ancestors. For this, I have made it to where Turians have a certain battlelust in them, sated for civilized purposes by letting them eat 'fresh' kill of uncooked, bloody game to sate their predatory needs on occasion. This is my idea.
Weaver Stance - Created by Jack Weaver of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department back in the 50's, it is a two-handed grip in which one stands at a 45 degree angle to the target, the gun shoulder cocked back and arm straight, while the supporting shoulder is forward, and arm bent. The stance before this? The no-b.s. Cowboy 'hip shot' stance where the gun arm is unsupported, bent, and gun is held by the hip, like a showdown. The Weaver Stance increased accuracy by fourfold, making it a mainstay to this day. There is a newer stance, known as the Isosoles, in which the body faces the target, and the shoulders are squared.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast - An Army saying, meaning to take your time and do it right the first time, because making mistakes will take longer, or get people hurt.
Tunnel rat - Back during Viet Nam, American soldiers were sent into man-made tunnels to flush out Viet Khan forces through systems of intricate underground shafts, tunnels, and thoroughways. This was extremely dangerous, as the soldiers were armed with a flashlight and a .45, possibly facing boobytraps and underground barracks. Ballsy. I've done this a few times in Afghanistan and Iraq, and it makes kicking in a door look like making pancakes for breakfast.
"Don't you play video games?" - I've made a few references that alludes to the fact that Shepard is a bit of a gamer and a fanboy. There was a story on FF (it might have been the story Queen's Gambit Accepted by faRENheit2006, but it's been so long, and I just don't remember) where Space-Origin Shepard was a gamer because kids and Naval Vessels mean they have plenty of time to be underfoot, and video games keep them occupied and in one spot. I will probably expand on this idea later.