Gathering human data
Explorer's log, Earth date 21th of May 2011
Thirteenth entry
Subject: Sex
Grey revealed his sexual proclivities to me. He seems to believe that his desires are dark and bad. Ana, naturally, agrees with him. She is painfully ignorant and I do not think that her lack of sexual experience excuses her lack of knowledge about the subject. From the little I have gleaned about human beings, Grey's tastes appear positively tame to me. I have seen plants on this planet engaged in edgier sexual behaviour than what Grey gets up to in his bedroom and/or playroom.
In addition, I do not understand why he insists on calling the room plainly intended for sex the playroom. The man does not seem to grasp what the word 'play' entails. Everything is a chore to him. When he smiles - and Ana subsequently feels it in the unspecified 'down there' area, which causes her to gasp and flush (yawn) - it is only because he is being a dick. He doesn't begin to know what fun is or that sexual activity could be fun. He is such a humourless bore.
Addendum:
Had sex with Grey. Was rather dull.