Gathering human data
Explorer's log, Earth date 30th of May 2011
Sixteenth entry
Subject: Job interviews
Ana had two job interviews scheduled today. I do not want to be responsible for disrupting her life completely, so I decided to keep the appointments. I even gave her free rein during the interviews. Unfortunately, by monitoring her inner dialogue, it was easy to detect that she used her time in control to, as it's so charmingly called in human idiom, lie her ass off.
I simply had to intervene, since her thoughts and words did not match at all and truth is valued as much on this planet as it is on mine. I was trying to save her from herself and I think I succeeded marvellously.
At the interview for a small publishing house, (which is doomed to fail, if you ask me, because their business strategy is hopelessly outdated) Ana was asked a question about working with computers. In response, I laughed. I was trying to replicate the reaction Ana would have had if she had been capable of being honest. The interviewers, a man and a woman, regarded me with raised eyebrows.
'Oh, I apologise,' I explained. 'I thought that you were kidding. I just graduated from college; you cannot seriously expect me to know how a computer works. I barely know how to send an email. Heads up, by the way, I will be sending a lot of those now that I know how to do that. None of them will be job-related. Don't read them! In fact, sending emails will probably take up most of my time. But I'm super passionate about working here. Dream job for sure.'
Strangely, no one seems eager to hire me.