This is a REALLY long chapter guys! Hopefully you will get out of it alive. Over 3357 words. GET IN!
I woke up on my mattress feeling like I was in an oven. I stripped of my sweat covered clothes and got in the shower. Do you think he knows? I thought to myself. How would he react if I told him what I dreamed of last night? He would probably freak out!
Realising that I had been in the shower for over half an hour, I turned off the taps and wrapped myself in a towel. I went back into the living room and picked out a plain rain vest top and some grey jogging bottoms to wear. I didn't feel like being posh today. I exited my room and went into the kitchen, where Bruce, Pepper and Steve were all reading the paper. Tony was on the floor. I didn't even ask why. He was balancing pineapples on his head last night. He was completely out of it.
"Do you guys have a newspaper club or something?" I asked them, taking a note of the pile of unopened newspapers on one of the chairs.
"You need to see this." Pepper said, spreading out the newspaper onto the counter, so I could see it.
Hawkeye caught in Widow's web the headline read.
"What is this?" I asked to which Bruce replied "The newspapers are under the assumption that Clint loves Natasha, but Natasha does not love Clint."
"What?" I read the article filled with idol gossip. I can't believe people printed this. "I can't read this any longer." I said, handing her the paper back and walking towards the sink. I poured myself a glass of water and sat down next to Steve. The other option was sitting next to an unconscious Stark and that was not happening. The remaining chair had newspapers stacked in a high pile, which wouldn't be the most comfortable cushion in the world.
"Hey." Steve said quietly. "Are you okay from what happened this morning?" Pepper and Bruce were in a deep conversation about Natasha and Clint's relationship. Stark was still asleep. His words made me think about the dream. The way I thought about him touching me. The way it made me feel. Shut up Maria.
"Yeah, I'm doing a lot better. Thanks for looking after me by the way. It really helped me."
"Good." he replied with a gorgeous smile. He put his hand on mine and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb underneath the table. I felt chills run through me. I turned my hand around so our palms were against each others and I held his hand in mine, squeezing it slightly.
He looked back down at the paper. "This is ridiculous. It's not the public's business. It's Nat and Clints."
"I know. But the worlds a different place now. Gossip is money." I admitted cool, but inside all I could think about was the fact that he was holding my hand. That moment, Natasha and Clint came around the corner. Mine and Steve's hands came apart. I missed him.
"What happened to him last night?" Clint gestured to Stark as Pepper placed pancakes on a plate and passed it to Clint.
"Don't even ask." Pepper replied. Pepper looked at Natasha hesitantly. She was going to tell Natasha about the newspaper, but I could tell she didn't want to.
"What is it Pepper?" Natasha asked. Pepper pursed her lips and then replied "I...I think you need to look at the paper." handing her the folded newspaper.
She opened it and asked "What is this?" Her eyes scanned the document. "The 'hottest archer around'? Clint did you write this?" She asked.
"Really? I would've said the sexiest archer around wouldn't you?" Clint said raising an eyebrow and smirking. Idiot.
"More like the most arrogant!" she replied. She looked up at Clint quickly and I could tell she was reading about the fact that he loved her and they were stating that she fails to be the same way. She opened her mouth to ask him a question, probably whether it was true or not, but thought against it, shut her mouth and returned back to the paper.
I could see the anger building inside of her and before I knew it, she was slamming the paper down on the paper, holding her head in her hands. She slouched on the table as Clint wearily went over to steal the newspaper and look at what she was so taken back by. Before he had the chance to read anything, she snatched it away and chucked it in the bin.
"Tasha? What did it say?" he asked. She looked round at all of us. She was scared, but I couldn't tell of what.
"Nothing." she said sternly, but then realised her tone of voice and said in a light, happy tone "It's nothing."
"Natasha Romanoff, do you think that after 7 years I don't know when you are lying?"
"I'm not lying."
"What did it say Nat?"
"Nothing. It. Said. Nothing. Okay!" she was getting angrier and angrier and at this point she had stood up to say it a couple of centimeters from of his face.
"What. Did. It. Say." Clint said, his anger rising too.
"NOTHING! IT WAS NOTHING!" she screamed, tears forming in her eyes.
"TELL ME!" he shouted.
"IT SAID THAT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU!" She finally snapped looked at the floor and silence filled the room.
"And was it telling the truth?" he asked, making her look up at him. "You don't have to feel that way about me. I'm not forcing you to, but" he said, stopping to look down towards the ground.
"But what, Clint?"
He looked back up at her and went towards her to cup her cheeks. I remember Steve doing that in my dream and I briefly looked over at him. He was looking at me also and mouthed 'Are you alright?' Oh my God. 'Fine' I mouthed back and then returned to look at Nat and Clint. Keep your heart rate slow.
"I love you Natasha Romanoff. I love you so much it hurts. And I don't care if you throw me into the wall or beat me to a pulp in the sparring room like you usually do, but I just want...I just want you to know that I am always here for you. No matter what. And...I love you." Woah. I wish Steve would think of me like that. I looked towards the ground as they continued.
"It doesn't matter that you're not ready. You may never be ready, but...I just wanted you to know that." he said.
I pulled my head back up and saw them kissing. I was transfixed on them. She pulled away and admitted "I love you too." She crossed her eyebrows and asked "Did I just say that?"
Clint laughed and replied "Well, I hope you did. Otherwise it's just my imagination playing tricks on me."
My trance was stopped by the sound of the others clapping for the happy couple and Stark cheering "Blackhawk!"
We all sat back down, me next to Steve again and we continued to eat our breakfast. "So, is someone going to tell us what happened last night?" Natasha asked as Stark's cheering died down.
Pepper decided to take the opportunity of telling us what happened, because 1. No one really wanted to discuss it 2. She was the most professional and 3. Everybody was staring at her because they knew that she would explain it the best. Not really an opportunity, more like responsibility. She was like the mother of the Avengers. Hill was the assistant carer apart from me.
"Okay, so Tony decided to play kill the pineapple with his blasters." Tony was about to but in with an argument against that idea, but Pepper silence him. "Don't even think about arguing Tony. There is still pineapple juice all over the windows. Thor smashed multiple beer glasses, as usual, and lots of the party guests got a little bit more than drunk and we had to carry them off to the medical unit downstairs."
She stopped, but Tony started talking. Oh the joy. "Oh and if it helps you feel better about your whole 'front page love story debacle', Captain Hill have a column written about them too."
Me and Steve went wide-eyed and exclaimed "What?" at the same time, causing me to choke slightly on my breakfast. What is he talking about?
"Whoops. Sorry, I thought you knew." he said, even though he didn't sound the slightest bit sorry, handing them the paper. Asshole. We both went forward to grab the newspaper, but our hands touched and we both immediately pulled away like we were touching fire. A little touch like that even made me nervous. How the hell am I meant to act around him?
"Sorry, it's fine. You look at it Maria." Such a gentleman.
"Thank you Steve." I said, trying to sound formal. My cheeks felt like they were burning. God, I don't think I live like this anymore. I took the newspaper and looked at the column.
Maria Chill in love with Rogers?
What the hell? I felt my chin fall slightly from the shock, but I managed to angle the paper away, so Steve couldn't read it. How could this be happening?
Maria Hill, often known as Maria Chill by her S.H.I.E.L.D co-workers, has a soft spot for one Stephen Rogers aka. Captain America. This is evidential from the photos taken from Mr. Starks party last night. If her dress isn't giving it away, their dancing certainly is.
Next to the article was a photo of Steve and me dancing from last night. We were both smiling and looking into each other's eyes.
"Erm...Natasha I need to talk to you." I said. My voice sounded more worried than it did normally, probably raising a lot of suspicion amongst the others.
"I was just about to have pancakes. Pepper's pancakes at that." she complained. This is not a time to be fucking about Natasha.
"Now." I said sternly standing up, snatching the paper and walking out of the door leading to the stairs.
I heard Natasha say something to Clint and then follow me. I sat on the step and began to cry. What is wrong with me? I heard her open the door and quickly shut it. "Oh my goodness." she whispered to me.
"This can't be happening." I sobbed, passing her the paper.
She read it and commented "Oh God. Look, it's just a news article. It's nothing to worry about. They are just assuming that you are together." I continued to crying softly and I felt her hand stroke my back. I didn't want the world thinking this. As much as I wanted it to happen it couldn't.
"It's the fact that..." I stopped, took a deep breath and steadied myself. Just tell her what's up.
"Director Fury is not allowing me to have any type of romantic relationship with the Avengers. If he knew that I had already kissed him, I would be in huge trouble. This is why this is such a big deal to me." I explained gesturing to the newspaper.
"Look. Everything will be okay. Fury may not have even seen this yet." she reassured me.
"Miss Hill, Director Fury is here to talk with you." JARVIS said. Well, that's just fucking brilliant isn't it.
"Maria. You have got to listen to me. You were wearing that dress because Tony bullied you into it. Got it?" That will work. Just convince him that we're not together. I nodded in agreement, got up and straightened the outfit I was wearing. I walked forward and wrapped me in a hug. I've never hugged her before, but Natasha was always kind to me. Maybe not at the very beginning, but over the past couple of years I felt like we've really connected. We went back into the living room and I saw Fury in the middle of the room.
Without turning around, he said "Agent Hill, in the conference room. Now"
"Yes, Sir." I said with no hesitation or weakness.
Don't even look at Rogers. Confirm that you have nothing for him. I completely ignored Steve and headed straight to the conference room, which was down another corridor.
I could hear Fury following me and I kept my back straight as a sign of my confidence. I opened up one of the tainted conference room doors and entered, holding the door open for him.
I shut it and stood in a strong position on the left hand side of the room, arms behind my book, as Fury paced around the set of chairs surrounding the table. He is not finding out about the dream no matter what.
"When I woke up this morning, Hill, I expected to see the world looking like a safer place. Where it could be protected and rid of threats." Okay...maybe this isn't about Steve. "I did not expect to see the whole damn world believing that you and Captain America are in a romantic relationship. Now I don't know about you, but that didn't exactly make my breakfast." Oh crap.
"It's not what it looks like." I said keeping my voice at one tone, not allowing emotions to leak through it. I can't let my mask slip for one second.
"Really?" Fury asked disbelievingly. "I don't believe that for one second."
"Stark forced me into it. He said everyone had to go in pairs and me and Steve were the last two remaining in the tower apart from Banner, who was refusing to go." I lied, but to be honest Stark would have forced me to go anyway.
"You could have declined his invitation." Fury argued.
"It's Stark, he would've forced me to come anyway and who else was going to make sure they didn't wreck the place."
"Still, you didn't have to get photographed with him. It was reckless."
"Stark's photographers were everywhere. It was impossible to escape them."
"Why were you even dancing with him in the first place, Agent Hill?"
"Because he asked me." I replied. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. That sounded a bit too emotional and I know Fury saw that.
"Do I have to remind you about the fraternization rule with your position? Barton and Romanoff may be off the hook, which everyone is happy about, but you are not. Now, I do not want to have to come back here again to see you for the same reason. Do you understand?"
I looked down at the table, trying to hide my disappointed face, and mumbled "Yes, Sir."
"Good. Give Romanoff this." he said handing me a file. "It's a new mission."
"Understood, Sir." I said as Fury left the conference room and slammed the door.
I fell against the table and started taking deep breaths once Fury had walked out of the door. My breathing started going rapidly faster. Oh great. This has limited my chances with him to zero. Lets just face it, you are never going to be with Steve. Get over yourself Hill...but I don't want to.
I heard a knock at the door. I looked up and saw Natasha through the glass. "Maria, can I come in?"
I nodded and she opened the door going to crouch in front of me. "Hey. I know it's hard, but everything is going to be all right."
"How do you know that?" I asked, a single tear streaming down my face.
"Because," Natasha began, wiping the tear away, "I got through it with Barton for seven years."
That made me smile. They found love even after everything they have been through. But then again they didn't have the rule in the way of everything. Don't think like that anymore Hill.
She lifted me up to my feet and asked "Are you better now?"
I nodded, this time much more confident in myself.
"Just wait and everything will turn out okay. Do you want to talk about it later tonight?" she asked me. I need to talk about this with somebody. Pepper was away doing Stark Industry work for Tony, but I will talk to her some other time about it.
"Alright, lets go." I said and walked out of the room with her.
"Did they see it? The conference?" I asked. I knew that Stark had some cameras in some of the rooms, but I wasn't sure about which ones.
"Yes. They did." she replied, unable to look at me as she did. I didn't mind that she watched it though. She was going to find out anyway.
"I'm going to pretend that they didn't and carry on as normal." I decided.
"Okay." She didn't ask me why. I can't break protocol. I can't break the rules set in place. That's the burden of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve was the only thing keeping me from being the real Agent Chill. The girls night we had must have broken at least 30 different rules. I wonder what it would be like without those rules.
"What's it like? Finally being with Barton?" I asked, curiously.
"Being with Barton? It's a pain in the ass, but if you are talking about now that we are together...then it's...it's amazing. There is no other feeling like it. It's like I am experiencing all my emotions being bundled together at once. Even to feel one emotion is a record." I smiled at her. She looked so happy.
"I'd love to feel like that."
"Do you want to?"
"Yes." I admitted.
"With Cap I mean?"
I around quickly to look at her and said "I can't be with him. If there's anyone I can't be with, then it's Captain Rogers. I can never feel like that with him."
She stared right into me. So deeply in fact, that I might have thought she was actually trying to look through me if it wasn't for her asking me "Is that S.H.I.E.L.D protocol or Maria Hill talking?" That stopped my thoughts. I know I'm Maria Hill, but the protocol is what makes me Agent Hill or even Agent Chill. If I had only met Rogers on different terms, I think I would have been happy with him.
We came back to the kitchen and Clint leapt into Natasha's arms. Why can't I have that? My eyes met with Steve's. I cleared my throat and sat back down next to him. "What was that about?" he asked quietly. I know that he knows that Fury told me off, but does he know that I know that he knows that I know he knows? If that makes sense.
"It was nothing He just gave me some files for Natasha." I replied with a fake smile, pretending everything was okay.
"Stop. Stop. Stop. You're freaking me out here!" Tony exclaimed covering his eyes with his hands trying to stop the sight of Clint and Natasha kissing enter his vision.
"You've woken up quite well after being hungover about 10 minutes ago." Clint said.
"Well, I was rudely interrupted by two assassins kissing each other in MY kitchen."
"Such a drama queen." Banner said.
"I do not understand this reference?" Thor said looking confused.
"It means-" Stark started.
"Don't worry about it, Thor." Pepper interrupted knowing Stark was going to say something stupid.
"Right, who wants what on their pancakes?" Pepper asked us and we all shouted over each other at the same time. I am starving.