At the war room, moments later, Kazuto and Yagi were in a conference, along with ALL the able-bodied members of the Alliance Across the World – President Iizuka, Hajime Yagi, Carl, Shizuo Heiwajima, Mami Honda, Farra Stevens, Steven Cooke, Harley Hartwell, Kirsten Thomas, Freddie, and Agent Superball.

Harley called out, "How goes the war in the Video Game World?"

Farra said, as she viewed the monitor, "The civil war of the VG Worlds is escalating."

Steven C said, as he relaxed, "Let them thin out some moose, cows, and even some gold coins, by nightfall."

Farra replied, "No, douchebag! It's neck and neck. Lost a lot of good extra lives and casualties. We may lose the entire Video Game World… again…"

Mami responded, as she brushed her long brown hair, "How goes the Morgendorffer dilemma?"

Superball replied, "Breakout of destroying city is astronomical, ma'am. As C-Squad member, it is my duty to request a full-scale nuclear assault on the demonic former United Leagues Leader."

Kanaka was in the middle of the chair, as she bellowed, "Permission denied. We're going to have to find a way to stop this huge monster, once and for all, without nuclear holocausts."

Shizuo threw the table onto the floor, smashing it into pieces. He roared, "DAMN IT! Let me at that monster! LET ME!"

Kazuto barked, "NO! It's too dangerous!"

Kanaka said, "He's right. As AAW Leader, I reques-."

Kazuto cried, "Hey, wait! I'm President of Earth! I outrank you, uh, ma'am!"

Kanaka snarled, "Not in AAW Business, you're not, Old Man! You're still A-Squad, and I'm still the Boss!"

Yagi said, "She's right, Iizuka. Don't forget – it was us that stopped Nixon's Head from an Economy Shield, it was us that challenged Jake to an emergency election, and it was us that made him… senile… and in rage…"

She sobbed, as she dropped her head on the table, "Sweet sideburns of Scott Armstrong… It makes it sound like that it was our fault, Miss Kanaka…"

Kanaka said, "It is, and was! You two got us to the war room, and now we will solve everything that will happen… including the MESS THAT YOU TWO IDIOTS MADE! A-Squad… BAH!"

Carl yelled, "HEY! I'm standing right here! Blame someone, blame Yagi and Iizuka, freelance agents! They caused it, from the start!"

Farra said, "Hey, yeah! It was their fault!"

Mami huffed, "Please. We're better than that. Besides, we can oust anybody that can best evil forces."

Yagi snapped, "Shut up, Agent Honda!"

Mami barked, "YOU SHUT UP!"

All of the agents, except for Superball and Freddie, began to argue, as Kanaka was angry. She slammed her fist down and whistled, "STAND DOWN! Agents Hajime and Old Man, you'll have to man this Jake Monster problem, yourself. Since it was you that made this mess, in the first place, you're going to have to end this, now!"

Yagi saluted, "Understood, ma'am."

Harley said, "We'll take care of the Video Game War debacle."

Steven smiled, "Good luck to you guys… We're all counting on you."

Kazuto asked, "Hey, Steven… Where's the rest of your B-Squad?"

Superball said, "Indefinite leave of absence, after a plan gone awry, sir. They'll come back soon."

Steven said, "They'll be alright, once the drugs from the botched plan wear off."

Yagi said, "We should outlaw those types of drugs, when we get back."

Kirsten then viewed on the monitor, "Hmm, I see that we have a view of the Washington Monument."

Carl stated, "Does it do anything, other than make a dirty joke?"

Kirsten said, "Well… There's a huge red button, beside it."

Carl replied, "Oh, my god. You have got to be fricking kidding me!"

Freddie held his blackboard up and it said: "What is it?"

Carl cried, "I fricking knew it! Someone press the button!"

Kirsten shivered, as she tried to press the button. She trembled, "I don't know… What should I do?"

Yagi said, "You don't have to be hell-bent on wanton destruction to work here, but it helps."

Harley shoved her away, as he pressed the button. Kirsten shouted, "HEY!"

She pouted, "Jerk."

The Washington Monument started to fly off and head into space. It then popped up another monument, as Carl shouted, "I knew it! I fricking knew it!"

Yagi said, "Amazing… It's like it is a nuclear warhead, heading to its destination."

Steven replied, "Here's the second monitor here… It's headed for the frigid wasteland of Antarctica."

The missile headed to the arctic, as Farra asked, "So, the Washington Monument is actually a self-replenishing supply of intercontinental ballistic missiles?"

Kazuto said, "It's good to see it used for something more useful than corny innuendo, for once."

The screen went to snow, as the monitor said "Beacon destroyed". Kanaka smiled, "Penguin flambé, anyone?"

Mami said, "I just wonder if it'll affect our friendly ecosystem. Moreover, I hope the penguins and polar bears survived."

Kirsten switched the screen, showing the city of Glasnost, Russia. The beacon, however, was disabled. She then said, "Aw, The Kremlin's beacon is turned off."

Shizuo barked, "Damn those Commie Bast-!"

The agents covered his mouth, as Yagi said, "I think you mean former Commie bastards. You forget that Russia is now one country, and is in peace and solidarity."

Mami said, "Or more likely that they forgot to change the batteries."

Kanaka then replied, "Well, good. I think we can find something that we can try. Perhaps we should find a closest homing beacon, and then use it to destroy the evil Jake Morgendorffer… with a huge I.B.M.!"

Kazuto then said, "Then, we shall have a volunteer to accept this mission!"

Yagi glared, "Iizuka… I'm afraid no one is volunteering, out of spite."

Farra said, "She's right. But don't sweat it. Steven and I will find the beacon, but we'll need the location."

Steven replied, "You got it! We don't want the President of Earth to soil his hands on finding the beacon. We'll let you do the honors of destroying that fiend."

Steven turned to the 4th wall, "And let this be a lesson to you people… If your boss is to blame for all this, help him or her out, by helping out the cause, to make this world a better place."

~Learning and Growing~

Kanaka nodded, "Motion granted. Thomas, find the location of the next beacon."

Kirsten said, "On it."

Kanaka said, "Cooke, Stevens, we'll give you the pinpoint location."

Yagi announced, "I'll drive with the President, and watch the fireworks go off. On my signal, you press the FIRE button."

She called to Kazuto, "After that rampaging Morgendorffer!"

Farra and Steven rushed out of the war room, along with Kazuto and Yagi, as Kirsten found an area – the AAW HQ. Kirsten gasped, "THE FIENDS!"

Carl shouted, "Aw, come on! They were going to bomb us?"

Shizuo shouted, "COME ON! This isn't right!"

He seethed, as Kanaka called Farra, "Agent Stevens… Get this…"

Outside, Farra and Steven got the radio signal, as Steven said, "Aw, man… Steven Cooke isn't liking this. Our office has a homing beacon? WHAT IS WITH THIS MOJI MIKISA?"

Farra said, "We'll have to make it fast, before Jake destroys Washington D.C."

She raised her arms out and cried, "I SUMMON THE BIRD WING!"

Her arms turned into blue bird wings, as she floated upward. She said to Steven, "Steven, hop on! We'll take the airway to AAW HQ."

Steven smiled and said, "Roger, bluebird of the country! If Kazuto wins, he should make you the Earth's National Bird."

Farra growled, "I oughta give you the bird!"

She asked, as they flew off, "What do you say we keep this a secret from our friends?"

Steven said, "You're right. We don't wanna ruin the surprise."

As they headed to HQ, Yagi and Kazuto, in their Dodge convertible, chased after the huge Jake Monster, as it was running around, roaring angrily, "JAKE SMASH! JAKE DESTROY! JAKE MAD!"

Yagi said, "Well, he wasn't hard to find."

Kazuto huffed, "Man, I blame myself for this one… We just follow the trail of empty promises and crushed dreams, and we're home free."

Yagi said, "Our lives are on the line, on this one. Hopefully, this could be the last of Onigiri's devil essence."

He said, "Yeah. Truthfully, we did not see this one coming, you know… on the grounds that Tohru Honda has been defeated, once and for all."

She responded, "And it's no wonder you're still president, little buddy."

He refuted, "Hey, I'm only president for hours, and it's already a tough job, balancing my first line of work, for political power."

She smiled, as they continued to chase after the monster. Yagi called out on the megaphone, "Attention, Jake Morgendorffer! Stop where you are and surrender!"

Jake cried, "YAAAAH! DAMN IT! I WON'T GIVE IN, UNTIL EVERYONE IS DEAD!"

Yagi said, "He's a testy little consultant, isn't he?"

Jake roared, "I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!"

Kazuto called out on the megaphone, "Jake Morgendorffer! This is your President of Earth! Surrender peacefully, or you'll be sorry!"

Jake shouted, "You're NOT the boss of me!"

Yagi replied, "Might as well. And to add, he's wrong. You are the President of Earth, Iizuka."

Kazuto called out, "If you behave, we'll find you a job in my cabinet!"

Jake yelled, "UNACCEPTABLE!"

Kazuto shouted, "THAT DID IT! When Lemongrab sues you for taking his high-pitched war cry, don't come crying to me!"

Yagi said, "And we're glad he didn't accept it. It would cost a fortune to feed this guy."

Yagi stood on the car seat and called out, "Take the wheel, Iizuka!"

She aimed her gun at Jake's back and said, "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

BANG!
She fired at Jake, but it bounced off his back. He gasped, "By the statuesque sexy wooden body of Kristy Swanson or Kim Cattrall! This guy's made of marble! Correction: made of marble and fueled with rage…"

Helen called out, from inside Jake's huge body, "That's right, Hajime Yagi!"

Yagi gasped, "Huh? It can't be!"

Helen was inside the body of a huge Jake Morgendorffer, as she boomed, "It's likely that I cannot win, but you two clowns ruined my plans! I knew you'd try something, but I managed to harbor a stone monument of Jake, and use it to destroy the AAW, after what you did to me!"

Yagi roared, "Damn you, Barksdale!"

Kazuto asked, "Huh? You mean I became president, after beating a reanimated stone monument of a beloved United Leagues leader?"

Yagi said, "I'm afraid so."

He smiled and cheered, "BOOSH, BABY!"

She smiled, "I take it that you liked it, right?"

"Indeed. At least it didn't belong to a rampaging and conniving ex-lawyer."

"Well, I guess we failed to oust Onigiri, on account that she is now completely gone. But we still need to penetrate this stone body of Jake. Such science, misused for evil deeds and corrupt power. I hope Farra and Cooke find that beacon, soon."

Kazuto then asked, "Say, whatever happened to the real Jake Morgendorffer?"

Yagi replied, "No idea."

XXXXX

At AAW HQ, Farra and Steven were rummaging into their desks, looking for a small beacon. Steven asked, "Any idea where the beacon is located?"

Farra said, as she looked through the cabinets, "No. I wish we had a closer look at the office. However, we're not sure which office is which. It could be Mami's, it could be Harley's, it could be Freddie's, or it could be ours."

Steven said, "Or…"

They looked at Kanaka's office door and said, in unison, "In the last place to look…"

Farra opened the door, as Steven replied, "Steven Cooke didn't expect the beacon to be in Kanaka's office."

Suddenly, a missile was fired in D.C., as it went into space. The missile was about to hit AAW Offices, but a satellite pointed at the missile, with its metal laser cannon, and fired a bright red laser at the missile, destroying it. They heard the boom and asked what it was. Kirsten was on the walkie-talkie, from Washington, as she giggled, "My bad. I think I destroyed you all."

Harley replied, "Unfortunately, the missile was detected by our Anti-Missile Satellite Tracking Device."

Yagi overheard it and said, "Well… At least we're well-protected."

Steven yelled, "Call your shots, next time!"

Kazuto said, "Next time, remove the beacon in our offices. Ex-President's head was being facetious about AAW."

Farra found the beacon, in Kanaka's fichus plant, as she said, "Found it! Now, don't hit that button, until I give the signal!"

Kirsten snuffed, "Yeah, yeah…"

Kanaka called, "In fact, don't! NO ONE touches that button!"

The agents groaned, as Kazuto said, "I get to press it!"

Steven replied, "He does have a point, since he's President, now."

Farra said, "Okay. We'll be right out. Stevens out."

She sprouted wings and gave the beacon to Steven. She said to hold onto it, as she carried him away.

XXXXX

Yagi and Kazuto returned to the streets, as they viewed the beacon, in Steven Cooke's hand. Yagi said, "Okay. Now that we have the beacon, we need to plant it on Helen Morgendorffer's Frankenstein Husband!"

Kazuto giggled, "Neat."

Yagi called to the radio, contacting Farra, "How's your ETA?"

Farra responded, "Have located the Giant Jake!"

Jake was still running, as Helen called out, "I WIN! I WIN! NOT EVEN HAJIME YAGI CANNOT DEFEAT ME, I'VE WON, FOREVER!"

Farra asked, "Ee-yeah… What kind of beef do you have against her, Agent Yagi?"

Yagi said, "I'll explain later. Right now, throw that beacon at her!"

The Dodge drove away, heading back to the White House, as Farra swooped downward.

She called, "Okay, Steven! I got the Marblehead on range!"

Steven aimed, as he said, "Fire away!"

He threw the beacon at Jake's back. It stuck inside his spine, as Jake reached for it. He couldn't reach it, since his arms were too short.

Steven laughed, "Steven Cooke wins this one!"

Farra flew off with Steven, as she said, "It's all yours, guys! Over."

Back at the war room, Kanaka said to Kazuto, "President Old Man, would you do the honors?"

Kazuto laughed, as he pressed the button, "Don't mind if I do!"

Yagi said, "AAW! Move out!"

Kazuto asked, "Why? Shouldn't we revel a little?"

Yagi replied, "We don't want to miss this."

The entire AAW Agent roster left the war room, as another missile flew off, heading to the Giant Jake Monster. Helen continued to revel on her victory, without noticing.

The Jake Monster roared, "ALL WILL DO MY BIDDING! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL UNITED LEADER MONUMENT, EVER CREATED!"

Helen laughed, as the AAW Agents followed them, again, "You fools! Once we have destroyed everything, you, Hajime Yagi, will pay for ruining my career!"

Yagi called out, "This is your FINAL warning! Surrender now, or-!"

Helen cackled, "NEVER! WAH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAA!"

Kazuto called out, as the missile arrived, "Okay… But don't say we didn't warn you!"

The missile struck Jake, and-.

BOOOOOOOM!
The statue was completely destroyed, as the Dodge convertible was still driving into the huge cloud of smoke. The smoke cleared, as the Jake Monster was reduced into a pile of powder, with his head intact. Helen was on the pile of stone powder, out cold and injured. The Dodge drove upward, and landed on all-fours, in a safe dismount. Carl, Freddie, Harley, and Kirsten held up scorecards, all saying "10".

"WOOO! That was better than feeding pie-eyed pikers laxatives on a parade day!" Kazuto cheered.

Carl said, "You said it, man! That was frickin' AWESOME!"

Kanaka smiled, as she said, "Well, Mr. President, Agent Hajime, I have newfound respect for you two! You guys broke two presidents in one week; all rogue and corrupt."

Kazuto smiled, "A personal best!"

Helen came to, as she gasped, "Huh? Where am I? Am I in Heaven?"

Harley appeared, with handcuffs, and said, "Nope. But you're going to jail."

Helen gasped, as she ran off, "NO! You'll never take me alive! I'll be ba-!"

CRASH!
A portion of Jake's monument crashed onto Helen, injuring her. She groaned, "Ow…"

Farra smirked, "Heh. Good one, dude."

Harley cried, "I didn't-."

CRASH!
Another of Jake's marble pieces fell into the road. Farra said, "Well… At least it was a good one."

Steven said, "You said it, Eagle."

Farra huffed, "Don't call me that… well, just as a codename."

Steven barked, "Cut me some slack! We're not even the stars of this fanfic."

Harley asked, "Uh, should we dig her out?"

Farra said, "Might as well. I hope she didn't crush herself, severely."

XXXXX

Helen was dragged off, into the AAW Paddy Wagon, as Kirsten jeered at her, "Not so tough now, huh?"

Helen roared, "Just wait until I get out, so I can sue you for everything you own!"

Carl said, "Sorry, broad. We got all the proof to take you down. The government will let you out, for good behavior."

Kirsten added, "If he feels like it."

The doors shut, as Kirsten jeered, "Loser!"

Helen started to bawl, as the paddy wagon drove off. As for Kazuto and Yagi…

"Well, once again, this country is saved… at least, for now, until another bizarre AU disaster." Yagi remarked, as she returned to the car.

Kazuto said, "That's a great day to be A-Squad. Hey, let's go use this presidential power and force Zapp Branigan to be my personal and permanent janitorial boss, so he can scrub my toilets, for the rest of his natural life. After all, the guy is not an Earth Hero. I read the AAW Files that he caused numerous intergalactic incidents, but not before he destroyed many alien races."

Yagi replied, "Sounds fun. But I was thinking we'd treat ourselves to some Frosted Chocolate Malts, and then have ourselves a little target practice, down in The Smithsonian."

Kazuto laughed, "Thanks, Yagi. And that is why we are pros, and not ants."

They drove off, as he asked, "By the way… What did you have against Helen Barksdale, anyway?"

Yagi replied, "Well, little buddy, it's a long story, better left untold. But I should tell you that it involved her career as a lawyer."

She told him, "Helen Morgendorffer was prosecuting for a murder that a citizen did not commit. Her opponent was Apollo Justice, the protégé of Phoenix Wright, and she made sure that he'd lose, automatically."

"No!"

"Yes. However, before the verdict was made, I presented hard evidence to the court that Detective Gumshoe wouldn't take. Then, after the tape was shown, Helen was given a penalty, and is stripped of her prosecuting powers."

"I take it that she paid the courts to make her win, and even the witnesses and detective to making it look like the murderer did it."

"No. As a matter of fact, Helen was caught making a phone call to the Supreme Court, asking to add herself, automatically into their seat of power, when she wins the case. The accuser of the murder was the Justice of the Supreme Court. That, of course, was illegal… and also stupid. It worked for that other guy in Illinois, and look where he ended up."

Kazuto said, "The government sure can be very strict, when it comes to Instant seats of power. That's why I keep an extra seat warm, for the next lucky man or woman to be voted into the Supreme Court. I want them to feel the finest mahogany wood and memory foam pillows, for stern comfort."

Yagi chuckled, as they drove away, heading back to AAW HQ, "You crack me up, Iizuka."

The End

Meanwhile, in the rubble of the destroyed Jake Monster, Helen's headset was in the pile, still active and responding. A distorted voice called out from the speaker.

"Special Agent Barksdale, come in… Query status – Jake Gambit… One-Seven-Oh-Niner… Query not acknowledged in time-limit parameter… Please respond… Error… Error… Error… Error…"

Thanks for Reading!