Over the next couple of days, we didn't speak to each other unless it was absolutely necessary and we stayed out of each others way. The heated kiss that we had during truth or dare really made me think about him. He was on my mind twenty four seven and it was beginning to annoy me.
When we arrived back at the Avengers Tower, I decided to speak to him about it.
I knocked on his door and he opened it. When he realised it was me, he said "Look, sorry. I just...I'm busy."
However, when he went to shut the door I jammed my foot in it, stopping him from closing it. "No, we need to talk about this. What is it Steve? What's wrong?" I asked, grabbing his hands.
"Nothing's...nothing's wrong. Well...it is, but...it's not.." He looked up at me. "I'm not making sense am I?"
"Sorry Steve, but you're really not. What are you trying to say?" I asked helplessly and I could feel his hands sweating in my palms. He pulled his hands away and rubbed them against his knees, nervously. I heard his shaky breaths that were radiating across the room, very clear to me.
"Okay, you're scaring me now." I said, coming up to him and putting a hand against his shoulder, stroking it slightly. He looked from me, to my shoulder, and back to me. His mouth was shaking slightly and he was hesitating."I...I can't do this.." he said, coming a hand through his hair. He looked stressed, but what was this about?
"Do what Steve?" I asked, my hand now coming up to his face. I stroked his cheek tenderly and he shut his eyes. He breathed out and then opened his eyes again.
He pulled away from my cheek, looked down at the ground and said quietly "I feel like I'm betraying her."
"Betraying who?" I don't understand what he's talking about?
"Betraying Peggy." he said, brushing his hand down his face and turning away from me. Of course, why didn't I think about that factor? But why would he...be betraying Peggy?
"Why...why do you feel like you're betraying her?" I asked, walking towards him.
His back was still turned, but I could hear the emotion in his voice when he said "Because I have feeling for you." What? How long has he felt like this? Why has he kept it from me instead of saying it? I know I've done the same, but this is different. I didn't know he had feelings for me. But then again he didn't know I had feelings for him either. God, I need to form some kind of answer here.
"Maria?" he asked, turning around to face me. "I just...I need to know whether you feel the same way. Otherwise...I don't know what I'll do." he said, desperately.
"I...I..." What the hell is wrong with you Hill? Just speak. "You...I.." Okay...approach this differently. I stepped forward slowly, gently grabbed the sides of his brown leather jacket, and pulled him close. Our eyes locked and I just had to kiss him.
I leant forward and my lips lightly brushed his. A feather light kiss, almost nonexistent, but I still felt the energy surging between us. I closed my eyes and stepped back. I opened them and then he opened his afterwards. His breath was ghosting my lips and I shuddered slightly. He brought his hands up to my face and stroked them tenderly. I kissed his wrist, now causing him to shudder too. I kissed his palm, more passionately and then looked up at him. His palm returned to my cheek and he looked deeply into my eyes. His fingertips were stroking my face, causing wildfire with my heart.
I placed one hand on his hip and the other at the top of his chest. I stepped forward once more and kissed him, much harder than before, making him stumble back slightly, but he balanced and kept equal force. The passion between us was fierce and I couldn't stop pulling him closer to me. We opened our mouths wider, perfectly in sync, and my tongue teased his bottom lip. He shivered, but I slowly continued by putting my tongue in his mouth. He hesitated slightly before wrapping his tongue around mine. He tasted sweet and I could not get enough of him. Suddenly he pulled away, causing me to wonder whether he really wanted this or not. Does he like me? Does he think that Peggy was better? Does he believe it's a bad idea?
"What is it?" I asked him. He looked like he was going to pass out.
"Can't...breathe..." he said, breathlessly. I tried not to, but I ended up laughing. I covered my mouth, crying to contain my fit, but I couldn't stop. He is so adorable. And clueless.
"Sorry..." I said between breaths and then composed myself.
"How are you meant to breathe doing that?" he said confused. A smile crept its way onto my face and I stepped forward, grabbing his jacket.
"You just need to learn a few things like breathing through your nose. Okay? Want to try again, but with more breathing?" I asked. This is really weird. It's like going through my first kiss when I was 16.
"Okay." he said and we kissed again. I felt the breath from his nose tickle my skin. At least he could breathe this time. Every time felt amazing, but now I know he's not suffocating I feel even better. After kissing for about 5 minutes, I pulled back to take a break from our heated kisses.
"Am...am I doing it wrong?" he asked shyly.
"No, no. I just needed to breathe properly too." I replied smiling and resting my forehead against his.
"I just want to make sure that you're okay with this. I don't want to force you into anything."
"Trust me Cap. This is more than okay. Don't worry...you're not forcing me into anything." My arms were around his neck and I played with the little hair on the back of his head. He closed his eyes and hung his head. "What is it?" I asked, worried about his actions.
"I don't want to ruin what we have. If you don't...feel like I do then...I don't want to ruin our friendship."
"My feelings are just as strong as yours." I replied and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You want to go and get some breakfast?"
He nodded and smiled. "Are we going to tell the others?"
"Can we not...it's just...I don't want everyone knowing yet."
"And Tony'll tease us about it."
"And I want you all to myself." I said smiling and making him blush. "What are you getting all embarrassed about?"
"I...don't get what you see in me?" he said. I put my hand against his face and caressed his cheek.
"Steve Rogers. You are the kindest, sexiest, most gorgeous man I have ever met in my life and I never want to let you go. You make me so happy and there isn't a single little thing about you that I don't like." I explained and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled at me, also causing a smile to go up my face.
He took my hand and guided me to the door. When we got there, he looked at me and then released it before opening the door. We walked down the corridor and he went forward to open the door. I said a quiet "Thank you" and went into the kitchen where Pepper, Natasha and Bruce were.
"At least there's no Tony here whilst I eat my breakfast." I said.
"Yeah, well he's out doing some actual work at a conference at the Pentagon. Something about using him to defend the world." Pepper explained.
"Hmmm...using Iron Man to defend the world is better than using him to defend it. The world needs defending from Tony Stark more than anything else." Natasha commented. We discussed Tony's character for a while before going onto the topic of Steve's serum.
"It gives you strategic advantage over everything." Banner said.
"The serum modified every part of me." Steve explained. Hmm...every part?
"Yeah, but, Maria, when you spar with Steve, it must be hard to take him down." Pepper said.
"Well...I've never actually...sparred with him before." I said.
Natasha's mouth opened slightly and then smiled. "Go. Now. Spar." she ordered.
"You can't just order us to spar Natasha."
She cocked her gun and aimed it at us. "Go." she said, smiling.
I shook my head, laughing and looked at Steve. "If we're really being held at gun-point, then we really have no choice." I argued. He nodded and stepped off the stool.
"I need to get changed. Meet you here in 5 minutes?" he asked, to which I nodded as a reply. Thank goodness we still finished breakfast a while ago, because I think I might throw up if we didn't.
We walked away from a smiling Banner, Romanoff and Potts, and entered the corridor of rooms. I smiled at him before stepping back into my room. I got changed and all I could think about was him. He kissed me. Are we together? Are we not? Does he still think about Peggy Carter?
I exited the room and went into the kitchen, finding Steve already standing there. "Lets go." I said and we walked into the elevator.
On the way down, I turned to him. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah, I'm great. You?"
"Never better."
"So we are keeping us on the down low. How are we going to hide it from Stark?"
"Disabling the security cameras if something happens between us that isn't exactly unromantic?" I suggested and he nodded.
The doors opened and we stepped into the gym area. We were doing some stretches and I was doing a downward dog stretch when I noticed Steve staring at me, lips parted slightly. I raised my eyebrows and asked "Like what you see Cap?" causing him to go seriously red and look away. I came up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his cheek.
"You know it's perfectly normal right? Looking at girls? I know you're not looking at me like a piece of meat. It's okay." I said softly and stroked his face.
"Sorry." he said, lookoing at the ground.
I pulled up his head and kissed his lips briefly. "It's fine." I stepped back and got into a ready position, as did he.
"Ready Cap?" I asked.
"Ready." he replied.
I smiled before charging towards him. I threw multiple punches, which he blocked. His super fast reaction speed was too quick for me. Tried to punch him in the face, but he blocked it with his left hand. I did a spin kick, trying to hit him in his, but he grabbed my leg. I used that to my advantage and spun in mid-air, kicking him in the face. It was weird. He wasn't attacking me. Just defending. Once I got to a stable position, he was still recovering, so I took the opportunity and swiped his feet from underneath him causing him to fall to the ground. I straddled his hips before he could move anywhere and pinned down his arms.
"Why are you playing so delicately?" I asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't think I haven't noticed that you're not attacking me and only defending! Rogers, I'm not made of glass okay? You can attack me when we're sparring and it's fine." I placed a hand on his cheek. "Just treat me like an opponent and not a friend." He nodded and I leant down to kiss him on his lips.
His lips were soft and I felt like I was going to die and go to heaven. I moved my hands up his muscular arms to his shoulders, which I gripped onto. Our kisses were slow, but meaningful, and made my body spark with energy. My hands moved down his chest and towards the bottom of his shirt. I played with the material of it and then put my hands against his bare hips. He jolted slightly and I pulled back. "What is it?"
"It's...It's nothing." he replied and then kissed me once again, but I wanted to know what was wrong, so I pulled back again. "No, Steve. Talk to me. Please."
"...I don't want to hurt you when we fight..." he admitted. I cupped the sides of his cheeks and replied "It's just sparring. It's not like you're breaking my legs or stabbing me. It's only occasional bruises and I'm just going to do it with someone else if not you. Romanoff? Barton? They'll probably give me even more bruises, so please can we spar?" I asked.
He considered it for a second and his expression showed that he was swayed. "Okay."
I pulled away from him and stood up, holding my hand out for him to take. He stood up to and we got back into our fighting positions. After 20 minutes of sparring PROPERLY, he came towards me and kicked him in his side like I did a while ago, but he grabbed my foot and pushed my whole body down on the floor, using the foot as leverage. I hit the floor, hard, with a loud smack, and I felt pain sear through my back.
He stood there open mouthed, breathing fast, and then rushed over to me. He didn't touch me. He just hovered over me. Almost afraid of what he might do. "JARVIS, get...Banner down...h-here." he said, breathlessly.
"What is it Steve? Why can't you touch me?" I asked, softly because of the pain.
"Can't you see what I've done? I never want to touch you again after that. I'll hurt you Maria and I don't want that to happen." he said desperately, getting up and stepping away.
I tried to sit up, the pain tearing through my body, and surprisingly succeeded. Steve was totally shocked by his power of force. He had his head in his hands and he was shaking.
The doors opened and Bruce came over. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked, rushing over to me.
"Steve...he...he just hit me on the floor...a bit to hard." I said, between breaths. He shook his head, which was still in his hands.
"Right, I need to do a med check to make sure you're okay. Steve, I need help." Banner said, but Steve didn't come any closer.
"I don't want to harm her again."
"And you won't." Banner reassured him. "But I can't carry her to the lift without the Hulk making a scene, so please carry her to medical." Steve looked at Banner and then to me. He hesitated before walking over and picking me up delicately. It's like I wasn't even being touched by anyone. As if I was floating in mid-air.
We were in the lift and Bruce was stood in front of us. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the pain, and cuddled up against his chest. He didn't seem comfortable with it, but he carried on holding me. We arrived at the medical floor and Banner instructed Steve to lay me down on the medical bed.
"Right, I'll need to get a look at your back, so could you lift your top up a little and turn over please." he said and I followed. Steve was still in the corner of the little area we were in.
I lifted up my top slightly and turned over, so Bruce could see my back. I felt his hands touch the area where I hit my back and I sucked in a breath.
"How much does it hurt?" he asked.
"Still a little bit. It feels more like a bruise and shock than anything broken or fractured."
"That's because it's contusion. The blood vessels have broken down due to a blow to the skin. The blood leaking causes the vessels to-"
"In English doc?"
"Yeah. It's a bruise. You should be fine within a couple of days. I'll go put it on your record." he said and left. I pulled my top back down and turned around. I looked over at Steve who was staring at me.
"Hey, please come over here?" I said and after a second he walked over, his hands in his pockets.
"I'm sorry." he whispered, his forehead against mine.
"You have nothing to apologize for. It was just sparring that got a bit out of hand. I've had worse injuries from this. Do not feel guilty. I know what the serum's like. It eats you up. Please don't let this do that either." I pleaded. He nodded and whispered an apology again. "Stop it. Stop apologizing." I said and kissed him gently just to shut him up. I was sitting on the medical bed still, so I pulled him towards me between my legs. It was a slow kiss, like before, and I smiled as we did it.
I heard footsteps stop next to me and turned around to see Banner, medical file in hand, standing there. "S-sorry. I'll...come back in a minute."
"No, Doc. It's fine. Just...don't tell anyone about us?" I asked, as Steve stepped away from me.
He nodded and replied "Especially not Tony right?"
I smiled and nodded once more. We talked more about how Tony can be a pain and then he sent me off to rest in my room. Steve gave me unnecessary help through the door and took me to my bed. He laid me down and ordered "Rest. It'll do you good. I know that you've been taking a couple of days off, but please leave it one more?" he asked with puppy dog eyes. Damn those puppy dog eyes.
"Fine." I said grumpily and he kissed me on the forehead. "JARVIS, can you get stuff from other people's rooms?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am, but their permission is needed." I looked towards Steve who just nodded. "What do you require, Miss Hill?"
"Can you get me one of Cap's black S.H.I.E.L.D t-shirt please?"
"Of course ma'am. There is one in your wardrobe in 5 seconds."
Rogers looked at me funny, but I just went over to the wardrobe and found the S.H.I.E.L.D t-shirt in there. I grabbed it and took off my gym top. I didn't really mind if Steve was looking anymore, because he had seen me like this the other night, when I slept in his bed with him. I pulled the S.H.I.E.L.D t-shirt over my head and pulled off my gym shorts, so I was just in his t-shirt and my underwear. I padded back over to where Steve was sitting next to my bed. He smiled as I walked over.
"Do all my clothes look better on you?" he asked.
I climbed into bed and said "I shall be testing that theory later, but I'm gonna sleep now."
"I'll stay here with you. Okay?" I nodded in response and nestled up in the duvet. I started to close my eyes, seeing him sitting on the chair opposite.
Only one more chapter left :)