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Edward's POV

Jasper and Alice had led me off shaking in my shoes. I loved what Esme did for women, but Bella reminded me so much of my mother. I shook my head and Alice looked up at me in concern. I hated making people sad, I hated losing control like that.

I brushed both of them off as they entered the library. I didn't want to be trapped in a room with them. Jasper would ask questions and Alice would try to console me. That's not what I wanted right now. I wanted to be alone.

As soon as they closed the door I slipped out the patio door and walked up the hill in the backyard. I kept my back turned to the house the entire town. If any of my family were looking out the windows they would see me obviously. It was pointless to think I'd get away without being seen.

All I needed was a minute. I climbed over the hill and down the other side to shield myself from the lower floor windows of the house. Some privacy is better than no privacy. I took a seat in the tall, wild grass and ran my hands through it, gathering my thoughts.

I had had dropped my composure while Esme had been talking about the girl, Bella. Seeing her next to Esme in the parking lot, seeing her attitude towards strangers reminded me so much of the woman who had raised me. She was scared and alone. Unlike my mom though, Bella had someone looking out for her. Someone who cared. Tears sprung to my eyes as I was reminded of my childhood and I wiped my face off with the shirt I was wearing. I was probably worrying Esme, being gone for so long.

The sun was setting as I made my way to the top of the hill and looked over the house. The kitchen light was on, so was a bedroom light. I looked a bit closer and I could see a face peering out the glass at me. There was no doubt that Bella couldn't see me. Her eyes were boaring into my flesh. I nervously made my way down the hill conscious that she was watching my every move.

By the time I made it into the back yard her face had disappeared and my face was pink with embarrassment. I entered through the same door I had left from and walked into the brightly lit kitchen. Mom was over the stove stirring something in a large pot and Emmett was chopping veggies. They both looked up at me.

Mom wiped her hands off on her apron and Emmett gave me his infamous grin. It looked forced. Mom put a hand on my shoulder to draw my attention back to her.

"Could you tell everyone that supper's nearly done, Edward?" She gave me a knowing smile and I nodded my head. "They're in Carlisle's study."

I made my way upstairs passing the guest room up the stairs. The door was open. I knocked on the door and Alice opened it. I opened my mouth to tell her about dinner as she flung the door open but I stopped. The words caught in my mouth as I saw Bella. She was sitting in a chair, her shirt up. Her stomach was marred with bruises and scars. I couldn't imagine the torment she had gone through in receiving them.

Carlisle was poking her lower abdomen gently and taking notes blindly with his other hand. Every time I removed my eyes from her body they sprang back seconds later. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears.

Alice must've realized her mistake because she stepped into my view, blocking out Bella's midsection, and rested her hands on my chest. "What is it Edward."

"Dinner, it's done." My voice was void of emotion and Alice just stared at me. I wasn't sure what else to do other than leave.

"Thank you, Edward." It was Rose. She nodded in my direction and stood waiting for Bella as Carlisle finished his notes. He was mumbled as he turned away from Bella.

I didn't want to know the extent of her injuries so I turned around and walked down stairs gathering my composure as I went. By the time I stepped onto the main floor I was my usually self on the outside. I would tuck those thoughts away for a later date.

Dinner was quiet but friendly. Bella was nestled between Esme and Rosalie. She didn't seem intimidated by any of us and that made me feel better. I did wonder what she thought of the barrel of a man we called Emmett. I had seen her glancing around at all of us as she ate her food. Like a stray dog, afraid that someone would snatch away her chow.

I winced at my own analogy, she wasn't a dog. I set down my fork having ruined my appetite, I had a bad taste in my mouth. Jasper gave me a way ward glance and set his fork down as well. The rest of the family continued to make small talk with Bella but her eyes were glued to me and Jasper.

Drawing attention as always, Emmett pushed away from the table to stand wearing his usual attire which was of course a stupid-ass grin. "We're leaving. Ed here promised to buy us drinks." He patted me on the shoulder and Jasper nodded. Emmet came around the side of the table, careful not to startle Bella and gave my sister a quick kiss before yelling for the two of us to hurry. Jasper got a nod from Alice and I kept my eyes off of Esme and Carlisle. It was clear that I had drew their attention.

I felt horrible for disrupting dinner and more so for interrupting Bella's first dinner with us. I hope that I would make it up to my parents and her and the girls. Jasper and I stood and said apologies to everyone. I would have to apologize to my brothers after this too.

We were in Emmett's silver Hummer speeding down our long driveway. Jasper had let me take the front seat and he was leaning forward, his forearms on the center console. He's the one who broke the silence.

"Ed, do you want to talk about it?" I could feel his eyes on the side of my face and I turned away trying to calm my hyper-sensitive nerves. I hadn't been this worked up in years.

"I don't know what I can say."

"Tell me how you feel then." He really should have considered being a psychiatrist.

"I'm angry. That's all I feel." I rolled my shoulders and took a deep breath. I wasn't going to share the extent of my anger with Emmett beside me. He was a good guy but talking about my feelings in front of him made things awkward between us.

"Carlisle suggested that you see Zafrina, just so you have someone to talk to."

"I don't want to talk to her or any other doctor. I'm fine, really. You're all acting like this has never happened before."

"Esme's never brought someone home. She's staying Edward. I think it would be best."

"I'll think about it." My blood was boiling.

Finally Emmett turned off the car. We were in front of the small bar in the middle of Forks. I slid out of the car along with my brothers. We took seats at the bar and watched an on-going stream of sport teams on TV.

I drank and laughed and drank some more. Women seemed to appear from nowhere and lure me into the dark corners in the bar, which weren't few. I had lost all self-control by the time Emmett and Jasper were dragging me out of the bar with a bloody nose. Some jerk had slugged me because his girlfriend had been drooling over me. I couldn't help that she was staring at me.

I was tossed into the back seat and I could hear Emmett talking with someone outside. It was the guy who hit me. What a dick. I reached for the door handle but the door wouldn't budge. What the hell? I pushed on it harder but it was no use. I laid down on the back seat and closed my eyes.

Jasper was yelling at me and shaking my shoulder. I growled and pushed him off but he was still shaking me.

"Fuck off." I reached for my pillow but it wasn't there. I sat up quickly, knocking Jasper away. "The hell?"

"We're home, Ed." I looked at him confused and the saw the car door behind him. I felt my cheeks grow hot and I nodded my head. We headed inside quietly, seeing Carlisle sitting in the living space. Well shit.

"Edward I wanted to say-" I walked past him and slumped up the stairs. I could hear Jasper stopping him. I wanted to feel bad, but I didn't feel anything. I was just tired. I paused at the door at the top of the steps. I couldn't make it up the next flight.

Nobody would mind if I slept in the guest room right? I opened the door and left the light off, pulling off my shoes lazily. Why was this so difficult?

I finally got my shoes off and I walked over to the spare bed falling onto it. But it wasn't right. Something was under the covers. I ran my hand over the covers, feeling sleep overwhelm me. I would figure it out tomorrow. I turned my head to rest it on the pillow when something hard connected with my face. I rolled over and off the bed, holding my already bloody nose.

What the fuck?